Hey guys I have a simple question, where can I find advice that is tailored for guys who want to have a relationship last for a long time or even into marriage. I know the basic fundamentals still apply but some things become harder to execute like "be a mystery" or "spin plates"
Ive slept with 10 girls in my life I'm 28 and made out with more than 20 women. Through my journey I never really approached women at bars or clubs. I either met them online (now) or through friends or in college in class or in my gym.
Ive had a few short relationships with women literally **** for two weeks and drop off. I did that for a while with three different women but I just wasn't happy with having sex with someone just for pleasure. I would find myself wanting to date and get to know the person
more.
When I was younger like 21-26 I really wanted to **** as many girls as possible because I was really only looking for a badge to wear.
But regardless of how hot the woman was when I had a few quick lays if I didn't like her or want to date her or find her interesting I never really enjoyed the sex.
I enjoyed sex the most when I cared about the person.
I'm beginning to realize that meeting women for the purpose of having a solid relationship is a bit different.
Bars and clubs are not the best place for LTR minded women IMHO, day game and hobbies and social networks might be better. Online dating is very easy in the sense you can "approach" people a 100 times a day in 20 minutes and you know all of them are single and looking.
My problem has always been that I start out a relationship independent and secure but over time I become a more needy and insecure person who loses his temper. Naturally she loses attraction for me.
Sometimes I shoot myself in the foot by being too comfortable and sharing faults and issues in dealing with. This comes and bites me in the ass later on as it lowers my value as a man.
One of the most important lessons I have learnt from my recent breakup is that a woman by nature needs a man she can lean on emotionally and lean on for strength when she is struggling. But if a man tries to use her for those purposes then she gets turned off. I realized just like you look up to a teacher or a boss or a coach of that person started to lean on you and showed a decent amount of weakness, you lose that faith that the person you look up to will not be strong enough for times you will need them.
A man has to be a pillar and for that he has to lean on her less than she leans on you.
Why do I have to be a pillar in the first place? I guess nature designed man to be the pillar to women
But this lesson was a costly lesson as I really cared for her and we were compatible on many levels.
I don't want to make more mistakes and learn the hard way.
Appreciate the help
Also my desire to not **** as many random women as possible would label be as a beta provider because a true alpha wants to spread his seed all the time. But that's not in my nature. Am I beta provider?
Ive slept with 10 girls in my life I'm 28 and made out with more than 20 women. Through my journey I never really approached women at bars or clubs. I either met them online (now) or through friends or in college in class or in my gym.
Ive had a few short relationships with women literally **** for two weeks and drop off. I did that for a while with three different women but I just wasn't happy with having sex with someone just for pleasure. I would find myself wanting to date and get to know the person
more.
When I was younger like 21-26 I really wanted to **** as many girls as possible because I was really only looking for a badge to wear.
But regardless of how hot the woman was when I had a few quick lays if I didn't like her or want to date her or find her interesting I never really enjoyed the sex.
I enjoyed sex the most when I cared about the person.
I'm beginning to realize that meeting women for the purpose of having a solid relationship is a bit different.
Bars and clubs are not the best place for LTR minded women IMHO, day game and hobbies and social networks might be better. Online dating is very easy in the sense you can "approach" people a 100 times a day in 20 minutes and you know all of them are single and looking.
My problem has always been that I start out a relationship independent and secure but over time I become a more needy and insecure person who loses his temper. Naturally she loses attraction for me.
Sometimes I shoot myself in the foot by being too comfortable and sharing faults and issues in dealing with. This comes and bites me in the ass later on as it lowers my value as a man.
One of the most important lessons I have learnt from my recent breakup is that a woman by nature needs a man she can lean on emotionally and lean on for strength when she is struggling. But if a man tries to use her for those purposes then she gets turned off. I realized just like you look up to a teacher or a boss or a coach of that person started to lean on you and showed a decent amount of weakness, you lose that faith that the person you look up to will not be strong enough for times you will need them.
A man has to be a pillar and for that he has to lean on her less than she leans on you.
Why do I have to be a pillar in the first place? I guess nature designed man to be the pillar to women
But this lesson was a costly lesson as I really cared for her and we were compatible on many levels.
I don't want to make more mistakes and learn the hard way.
Appreciate the help
Also my desire to not **** as many random women as possible would label be as a beta provider because a true alpha wants to spread his seed all the time. But that's not in my nature. Am I beta provider?
10h work per month 5000$ )