Relationship coming to an end??

[Lishy]

"So if I posted that I had a pain in my arm would your advice be that I would be dead in 15 minutes cos thats what happen to your friends?"

If the pain shot up your left arm I'd absolutely be concerned you may be having a heart attack.

"You dont just make stuff up K, he has not said his girlfriend is cheating or that he even thinks she is, so why take it to a whole new level? "

Its not making stuff up or taking anything at all to a new level.

Its posting a reasonable scenario for why his girlfriend has lost interest and is wanting to have a little talk.

"You just didnt stop to think, you just assumed she is the same as your ex. She has said she wants to talk - She probably wants to sort it out, not screw around!"

Not my ex alone but my friend's ex's, a ton of Sosuaver's ex's, family members ex's etc, etc.

Its not exactly scientific polling but well...we are only on a message board here.

And I clarified Lishy that you could be right this is not always the case but a lot of the time it is and it is a valid reason for why she may be losing interest and acting strange and I also kindly said that the alternative reasons you and Purple Haze gave also have an equally valid shot at being true.

You need to respect my opinion as I respect yours, instead of focusing on trying to shame me to come to your side or shame me by saying I should "think my posts through more" as your shaming tactics that work so well on other men in your life will not fly with me. Logic, reason and fairness is the only thing I will respond to from you or anyone else and I'm sad to say you are not showing any of this at all to me sweetie.

I take a misanthropic cynical view of humanity as a whole and I am very proud and happy to hold that view as I have found it to be reality from not only my observations of society from a far but my experiences of society up close and personal.

This is why I made the post that I did, I am a worst case scenario kind of guy but when you think about it neither your scenario or Purple Haze's scenario are much better than mine.

Either way she is drifting away from the relationship for one absurd reason or another.

Sorry if you feel like I shamed you K - That wasnt my intention

Well it seems that she is just sick of feeling like a fk buddy - And who wouldnt after that amount of time

The OP now needs to think about where this is headed and what action to take

 

[DannykDJ]

I haven't read the other posts yet so forgive me if I missed something.

In my experience when a girl gets clingy its not a bad thing unless it crosses the line of becoming a stalker or inconveniencing your life. Clingy means you are not meeting her needs in some way or the other. Never break up with a gf just because she is a little clingy. Everyone goes through clingy stages. Both men and women get clingy throughout the relationship whether they are aware of it or not. You judge them based on how extreme it is and how long it lasts. Trust me a somewhat clingy gf is better than a gf who seems like she doesn't care about you at all. Just talk to her about it maturely so she will be aware of it. if that doesn't work then there is not much hope as it will only get longer

 

[KontrollerX]

Apology accepted Lishy.

"Clingy means you are not meeting her needs in some way or the other."

No clingy means either the girl is afraid you are going to leave her (which means you have high value in her eyes) or it simply means the girl you are with has extremely low self esteem and is only in a relationship with you because she is afraid she cannot get anyone else.

Either way clinginess is an AFC behaviour trait in a male or female but it can be a beneficial trait to a guy just beginning to learn how to be a DJ when his girl acts clingy towards him because he is fully in control of that relationship and doesn't have to worry about the girl leaving him or losing interest and he can either end the relationship or keep it going on his time frame and on his terms.

The person with all the power in a relationship is the one who can walk at any time. The person who needs the other the least or at the very least puts across that aura about themselves that they can walk at any time and don't need their partner as much as their partner needs them.

The only exception to clinginess in your partner giving you the power in a relationship is if the girl is trying to manipulate you to give her more of your love and time when you are already by your own estimation giving her adequate amounts of both and in this way she is testing you and trying to gain control over you in the relationship so she can call the shots and get you dependant on her.

Never let this happen.

Always control the frame.

 

[Lishy]

A relationship should be equal

There should not be any 'power' or 'upper hand' this will just create insecurity and a feeling of not receiving what you are putting in

This will result in the 'insecure' party getting their emotional needs met by someone else and the relationship breaking up

We all want to feel loved and wanted, and yes there is a fine line, but if either one of you are not happy because they feel like their partner is not as into them as they are they will go off with the frst person who shows them the respect they deserve

To the OP you really need to think about what YOU want, yor girlfriend is obviously not happy but can you step up to the task she is requiring? If not then do her a favour and walk away! Let her find what she needs with someone who can offer it to her!