Rejection from ex still lingers on a year later

[ChangePages]

Hello sosuave,

Don't know if any of you have this problem but I just cant seem to get over the rejection from my ex a year later. It ended terribly and she left for someone else. The way everything ended made this factor a lot worse for me. I still feel bothered by the entire experience that Ive tried dating and it hasnt worked for me mainly because I can't put myself in that position or have motivation to even be in that position.

I want to focus on myself and change but I can't get over the rejection. Not the relationship itself but that rejection that she left and I don't know if it's going to be a thing for me every time a women comes and goes in my life. Mainly, I can't get over the fact that my ex didn't think I was the one for her.

All this made me realize that she decided a long time ago that I wasn't the one for her, this rejection itself bothers me to the core. And probably would with every women I ever date unless I have a different mindset on it. What's your take on this?

 

[wifehunter]

Everyone gets rejected at one time or another. Even high quality guys.

Things just "don't work" a majority of the time.

The good part is, it's humbling... we tend to examine ourselves more for fixable flaws.

Next time around, things will be different.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Hey man, @stovepipe and I are reallllyy in the same boat as you, look back on some of our threads we've been lating down tons of experience and advice lol..

This passed week iv become alot better, overcoming this pain is in of itself a serously crucial fvcking journey that will dictate the outcome of the rest of your life, you're neither getting a little better or a little worse as time goes on in life and you should always fear that.

Just know now doing anything to become "better" will not fix sht.. making more money, great friends, dating hot girls will not do anything until you've faced the pain fully and not have that little tinge of pain of her always lurking around in your subconcious.

They're really is no answer anyone can give you to feel better, it's really is a matter of you just figuring it out for yourself, advice helps sometimes.. but anything you read or watch really won't do anything to help.. ultimately you need to shoot yourself in the spiritual head,

What I mean by that is when your so helplessly scared over losing someone and not being able to let it go, you literally have to muster up the stength to kill yourself emotionally AND LET IT THE FVCK GO.

It's kind of like me telling you to jump off a bridge into a lake, after iv done it a few times and your to scared to do it, only you can grab your balls and just do it. after a while of me hyping you up and you finally just let go and fly, you'll feel ALIVE after you've done it even if you get hurt a little lol.. thats how I am anyway.

You ever have pvssy friends in your childhood that were always scared of doing dangerous stuff? And when they got hurt they never tryed it ever again? I had dozens, riding bmx all my teenage years only a couple kids had that edge where no matter how bad they got hurt they never quit.

And I swear by it, this also applys to emotional trauma induced by other humans. Letting go when your stuck in a fear of losing someone is the same as jumping huge dirt jumps on a motorcycle for the first time, IT'S FVXKING SCRAARREYY and you tremble with adrenaline!! Only doing sports your afraid of physical pain, we'll I read awhile ago heartbreak is in fact, physical pain, your brain thinks your body is serously heart. So see where I'm coming at here?

You're stuck in fear of letting go.
You're hurt, you just want your girl back man..


Forgive me for being all over the place I'm still getting used to creative writing and expressing these deep emotions I have lololol

You said you can't get over the rejection, is that it? Or is they're other thinges that are bothering you?

Some things I had a hard time with is that I truely believed in every part of me I'll never be able to love or find someone as beautiful aa here ever again, and boy i really mean that.. and now I'm looking at these stunners while learning game and feeling those butterfly's of hooking up with VERY fvcking hot woman again!

 

[AlphaNate]

@ChangePages, I want you to understand that I'm saying this knowing fully well what you're going through.

Man the **** up.

Sometimes, things don't work out. I've been engaged twice. Once things that are going so incredibly well go so horribly wrong multiple times in your life, you'll realize it's just something that happens. That's life.

Hit the gym hard. Spin plates once you're ready. You'll get past it, I promise.

 

[stovepipe]

Hello sosuave,

Don't know if any of you have this problem but I just cant seem to get over the rejection from my ex a year later. It ended terribly and she left for someone else. The way everything ended made this factor a lot worse for me. I still feel bothered by the entire experience that Ive tried dating and it hasn't worked for me mainly because I can't put myself in that position or have motivation to even be in that position.

All this made me realize that she decided a long time ago that I wasn't the one for her, this rejection itself bothers me to the core. And probably would with every women I ever date unless I have a different mindset on it. What's your take on this?

I can only imagine how chitty it must feel. Borderlines/Narcs are notorious for having another guy lined up when things aren't going their way, then dump you like a bag of trash on the side of the road. Don't have enough details on your ex's behavior. As hard as it will be, try your best to forgive her and yourself. Holding on to guilt whether you did something wrong to make her leave isn't going to make things better.

For me, forgiveness is what took a lot of my pain away. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life. I can go to bed knowing I tried my best but the person on the other end didn't value me or my time. Ultimately, it's her loss not mine. I can tell you right now, she will never find another man as unique as me. Know yourself and your worth. Release all that built up anger, sadness and guilt, cry your eyes out if you have to. Work on yourself, keep being you, someone other women will feel it.

 

[wifehunter]

I can only imagine how chitty it must feel. Borderlines/Narcs are notorious for having another guy lined up when things aren't going their way, then dump you like a bag of trash on the side of the road. Don't have enough details on your ex's behavior. As hard as it will be, try your best to forgive her and yourself. Holding on to guilt whether you did something wrong to make her leave isn't going to make things better.

For me, forgiveness is what took a lot of my pain away. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life. I can go to bed knowing I tried my best but the person on the other end didn't value me or my time. Ultimately, it's her loss not mine. I can tell you right now, she will never find another man as unique as me. Know yourself and your worth. Release all that built up anger, sadness and guilt, cry your eyes out if you have to. Work on yourself, keep being you, someone other women will feel it.

Crying over garbage is not DJ. Unless, she was the super girl of pulling the wool over your eyes, count it as education. Costly education.

 

[stovepipe]

Crying over garbage is not DJ. Unless, she was the super girl of pulling the wool over your eyes, count it as education. Costly education.

It might not be DJ, but for some, releasing what you're holding in is a huge relief. Im beta, I was destroyed by a Jez/Narc, I cried my eyes out post break up many times. Hell, I cried in front of her like an idiot. At one point, we both cried together. Thats a whole other story.

I'm not afraid to admit it. This was my first experience in my life where I actually felt love or sadness. This women chipped away at me slowly for two years, which turned me into a sensitive dooche. I learned from that experience and will never cry in front of a women again.

 

[wifehunter]

It might not be DJ, but for some, releasing what you're holding in is a huge relief. Im beta, I was destroyed by a Jez/Narc, I cried my eyes out post break up many times. Hell, I cried in front of her like an idiot. At one point, we both cried together. Thats a whole other story.

I'm not afraid to admit it. This was my first experience in my life where I actually felt love or sadness. This women chipped away at me slowly for two years, which turned me into a sensitive dooche. I learned from that experience and will never cry in front of a women again.

Recognizing the underhanded subtilty, is priceless. Very hard to detect when you're in the situation. Others would have an easier time detecting it, as they are not under the influences of the forces of nature.