Rejected Kiss

[Caspera]

Alright guys, this might be a little long but here it goes. So recently I've befriended three girls, one of which I've taken interest in. I'm 22 and they are either 19 or 20, so we're all college kids. The first time we hung out, I stayed at their place because it was 2am and had all been drinking. I had been flirting a little bit with one of the cousins that I'm interested in. It wasn't until I got her number the next day and we started texting each other. I basically explained that I'd like to get to know her better, and she was delighted to here that.
So the following weekend (this weekend), they had a barrel race going on all weekend and I decided to go and hangout for a day with them. The other two girls knew that I liked (I'll call her girl A), so they helped me get some time alone with her throughout the day. As the day went on, they decided they wanted to get a nap in before they had to race. So we all took a nap in the trailer, but the one I liked wanted to cuddle. I obliged, and we cuddled like we've been together for awhile. Then it went into giving each other back massages with it ending up with me against the wall and her against me leaning back on me, yet again hugging and cuddling, and even more flirting. I flirted with her the entire day, we were getting along famously and we got to know each other a lot better.
By this point I know she knows I like her and she liked me. Towards the end of the night, the other girls knew I wanted to make my move so they left Girl A and I in the trailer for a bit. We were in deep conversation until I just went in for a kiss, but she rejected me saying "...No." I asked her in a playful manner "Why, are you one of those shy girls?" She said "I don't want to get you sick." Granted, her allergies were bad from the animals but I didn't find that as a legit excuse. So, we basically went on like nothing happened and got into deep conversation for awhile until the other girls came back. I gave her a hug and I left shortly after that since it was late.
Now, I'm not mad about it, but more curious as to what in the world happened there and if it's worth trying to setup another time to meet with her and try again. I'm pretty fond of her still, but I'm at the point where I want to see if she does or does not initiate contact first to determine trying again or moving on.
P.S. I won't be able to see her for 2 weeks since she will be out of town, but we both play a game online called "DotA" which is how we got interested in each other to begin with.

 

[Skyline]

When she had her back leaned against you and you were against the wall you should have grabbed her and turned her around so she was against the wall. Then look at her lips while gently stroking her neck. Then lean in close, like you were to kiss her, and whisper something playful then pull back like nothing happened. When you know for a fact that a girls interested, tease her to death about it. Actually, just tease every girl. Anticipation is one of the keys to mystery.

And "Deep conversation?" You're trying to get with this chick not be her gay male girlfriend.

 

[No.Danny]

"Deep conversation"
That is LEGIT one of the GAYEST things anyone has said in ANY thread here.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

"Deep conversation"
That is LEGIT one of the GAYEST things anyone has said in ANY thread here.

lmaoooo!

 

[wishyo]

DotA lol I played it quite a it, old school one though, the one in warcraft 3 game itself..
Anyways, I personally think you are in a great shape, just be patient and try to appear less needy, dont talk too much or even at all (being a jerk sucks too though, my IMO) with her during these two weeks, I wouldnt really play with her in that game either, it will kill all the possible excitement about meeting you again.
Keep it simple, girl wouldnt cuddle with a dude she doesnt have interest in, maybe she is indeed shy (being a shy girl in US is not that popular as far as I understood so she didnt admit that), i mean she is still young and probably not that experienced.

 

[hudpes]

Go ghost on her! Stay the hell away from DotA. Respond to her texts, but nothing playful, no open ended questions, no enthusiastic or emotional replies. You do not want to talk to her, you want the next move, so don't talk to her. When she comes back, hook up again.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Before you continue to get more responses that are WAAAAAAY overboard on the whole "she doesn't like you, she's playing games, go NC on her" type thing, let's rationally look at the situation...

All she said was "she didn't want to get you sick," not "she didn't want to kiss you." Could this have been an excuse to not kiss you? Maybe - depends on if she was showing any signs of sickness beforehand, like coughing, sneezing, sounding stuff when she talked, etc. If she was sick, she was in her right not to kiss you - I've kissed girls that were just getting over colds before and ended up getting sick myself for a few days (no bueno). And if she wasn't sick, she'd just met you and is in her right to not kiss you on that first meet up. It would be NICE if she did, but she's not obligated to.

This is the reason why the 2-strike rule exist: because sometimes, when a girl rejects you and gives you an excuse for it, the excuse is legit. It's like when you try to hook up with a girl and she says she won't because she's on her period. She could be lying or telling the truth, but there's really no way of knowing for sure from your angle (unless she plans on showing you her pad or tampon, in which case... run. Just... run).

If you're not sure, you have to do something that is designed to see if there is a growing pattern to her behavior that will better tell you if she's interested or not. Thus: the 2-strike rule.

All you have to is wait until the next time you see her - preferably in a date-type scenario when she gets back in town - and go for the kiss again. Her reaction this second time around will help you better assess her interest towards you: if she rejects the kiss and gives you another excuse, you can then summarize that she's not interested in you physically; if she accepts the kiss, you can then read the excuse for not doing the first kiss as her actually being sick.

This 2-strike rule should always be in your mind ready to use. It will prevent you from completely freaking out when a girl you like does something that seems off-kilter the first time she does it (i.e. giving you a reason she can't say "yes" to your first date invite, telling you "something came up" last minute before a date, etc.) and help you to tell the difference between a one-time fluke she did despite her interest in you being there vs. a true lack of interest in you as a dating partner. Hope this helps!

 

[asa_don]

lame ass excuse man, kissing is the first step to intimacy, you cant get sick from an allergy from animals, she wouldnt care if she wanted to kiss you, she doesn't find you sexually attractive enough to even kiss.

women make excuses for guys they dont want, they make it happen with guys they want.

when a girl rejects your kiss you're pretty much fvcked, not in a good way, hell, chicks will still kiss and make out with dudes they won't fvck, she wont even kiss you bro.

When she had her back leaned against you and you were against the wall you should have grabbed her and turned her around so she was against the wall. Then look at her lips while gently stroking her neck. Then lean in close, like you were to kiss her, and whisper something playful then pull back like nothing happened. When you know for a fact that a girls interested, tease her to death about it. Actually, just tease every girl. Anticipation is one of the keys to mystery.

:crackup:

none of this matters man, she wouldn't have kissed him anyway no matter what he did.

Not true.

true

Not true.Teasing a girl like that will basically make her think "Am I not good enough for him?" subconsciously and will make her want to 'impress' you more.

You also gotta remember that whenever you tease, you assume value since you cause her to think that way, thus raising interest level .

doesn't matter, if she isn't attracted to him from the start, nothing he can do is going to change things.

Harry is absolutely right. It can be anything, give it a try one more time. Take some time though before getting in touch with her

if this dude was a 9, her tongue would be down his throat, she insulted him and rejected him, find a girl who wont reject the kiss.

betas always want to look for a silver lining to a dead end.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

none of this matters man, she wouldn't have kissed him anyway no matter what he did.

Not true. Teasing a girl like that will basically make her think "Am I not good enough for him?" subconsciously and will make her want to 'impress' you more.

You also gotta remember that whenever you tease, you assume value since you cause her to think that way, thus raising interest level .

 

[wishyo]

Harry is absolutely right. It can be anything, give it a try one more time. Take some time though before getting in touch with her

 

[Huffman]

Good stuff Harry. One refusal means absolutely nothing if everything else went great.

 

[Pardner]

Good stuff Harry. One refusal means absolutely nothing if everything else went great.

If it went great there would be a kiss if she liked him. Rejecting means she doesn't feel the same way.

 

[No.Danny]

Let's be real. You're a cuddle bvtch.

 

[Skyline]

none of this matters man, she wouldn't have kissed him anyway no matter what he did
doesn't matter, if she isn't attracted to him from the start, nothing he can do is going to change things

betas always want to look for a silver lining to a dead end.

Uhm yeah she would have. If he hadn't indulged in that weak "deep conversation" behavior and perhaps threw in some more teasing, she would have kissed him no doubt. OP had multiple chances to kiss her and escalate. He did not take full advantage of his opportunity's which lead to this rejection. Depending how much she finds OP attractive will dictate whether or not she will go on a second date, let's just hope he does actual attraction worthy actions. Obviously she was attracted to him from the start if she went on that date with him, was alone with him, cuddled and massaged each other, and had that "deep conversation-" which ultimately probably killed it. I feel as if OP had a chance at a lay here actually.

I wouldn't call it a lost cause just yet, just like what Harry said, two strike rule. Plus seeing other girls. Giving someone or something another shot isn't beta. Well unless she or it blatantly doesn't like you. Giving up on the first sight of a challenge is beta

EDIT: Oh yeah OP, next time a girl gives you a lame excuse or sh*t test, just either agree and amplify or say something ridiculous and reattempt whatever you were going to do. So in this case :

Girl: "I don't want you to get sick."
Boy: "Don't worry I like girls that get me sick." +smirk then close in for the kiss again.

The point is to go after what you want and relieve any obstacles with ease, if any arise that is.

 

[asa_don]

Uhm yeah she would have. If he hadn't indulged in that weak "deep conversation" behavior and perhaps threw in some more teasing, she would have kissed him no doubt. OP had multiple chances to kiss her and escalate. He did not take full advantage of his opportunity's which lead to this rejection. Depending how much she finds OP attractive will dictate whether or not she will go on a second date, let's just hope he does actual attraction worthy actions. Obviously she was attracted to him from the start if she went on that date with him, was alone with him, cuddled and massaged each other, and had that "deep conversation-" which ultimately probably killed it. I feel as if OP had a chance at a lay here actually.

I wouldn't call it a lost cause just yet, just like what Harry said, two strike rule. Plus seeing other girls. Giving someone or something another shot isn't beta. Well unless she or it blatantly doesn't like you. Giving up on the first sight of a challenge is beta


EDIT: Oh yeah OP, next time a girl gives you a lame excuse or sh*t test, just either agree and amplify or say something ridiculous and reattempt whatever you were going to do. So in this case :

Girl: "I don't want you to get sick."
Boy: "Don't worry I like girls that get me sick." +smirk then close in for the kiss again.

The point is to go after what you want and relieve any obstacles with ease, if any arise that is.

are you crazy? a lay? she wont even kiss the guy, you think he could of had lay :crackup:

kissing is based on attraction, you dont need to do all that other bullsh!t to get a kiss, girls make out with me at bars/clubs where we haven't even hardly talked.

if she was atracted to hm, his "deep conversation" would make him more interesting to her , if he was a 9 she would kiss him with no problem.

she spent enough time with the guy to know if she feels anything, she rejected his kiss.

i disagree, 2 strikes might be used for a flake on a date, not being flat out rejected for a kiss.

she gave him a lame ass excuse, move on

harry feels the more you try, the more something "might" happen even though all signs show nothing is.

why go after a girl that rejected you when you can be kissing/banging one who wont? have some options because rejection is bound to happen to guys.

it was no sh!t test, she insulted him with a lame ass excuse, she isnt interested, no need to be a chump trying for a second time, his first effort should have counted.

Sounds like you really focus on physical attraction rather than the game itself. Or don't really know how to create attraction through game. I agree with the spinning plates portion though, should never be hung up on one girl. It's not three strikes, or four, or five, or even twenty... It's two.

look man, this girl spent enough time with him to know if there was any attraction, it doesn't take that long for girls to know, he got rejected.

if you guys want to keep wasting your time, go ahead,

sh!t, all the threads in here show these guys going "another time" get rejected again

it's better to be kissing a girl the first time than being rejected hoping for another shot at it.

 

[Skyline]

are you crazy? a lay? she wont even kiss the guy, you think he could of had lay :crackup:

kissing is based on attraction, you dont need to do all that other bullsh!t to get a kiss, girls make out with me at bars/clubs where we haven't even hardly talked.

if she was atracted to hm, his "deep conversation" would make him more interesting to her , if he was a 9 she would kiss him with no problem.

she spent enough time with the guy to know if she feels anything, she rejected his kiss.

i disagree, 2 strikes might be used for a flake on a date, not being flat out rejected for a kiss.

she gave him a lame ass excuse, move on

harry feels the more you try, the more something "might" happen even though all signs show nothing is.

why go after a girl that rejected you when you can be kissing/banging one who wont? have some options because rejection is bound to happen to guys.

it was no sh!t test, she insulted him with a lame ass excuse, she isnt interested, no need to be a chump trying for a second time, his first effort should have counted.

Sounds like you really focus on physical attraction rather than the game itself. Or don't really know how to create attraction through game. I agree with the spinning plates portion though, should never be hung up on one girl. It's not three strikes, or four, or five, or even twenty... It's two.

 

[JohnChops]

she plays DotA... MARRY HER RIGHT NOW DAMN IT. Sorry inner-geek-speek.

 

[nismo-4]

You are so friendzoned you just don't know.

 

[Pardner]

Maybe you had bad breath

 

[Special EDy]

Dont talk to her for a while and hope that she is legitimately worried youre mad at her for the rejection. Definately dont pander to her.
With so much groundwork laid its its worth it to give her another go. If she screws up again than cut your losses and move on. But its in your best interest to start detatching yourself and not pinning such high importance on you; not just in case you end up cutting her loose but also so she senses your disinterest and works harder to be with you.