Rejected 4 times in the last month

[Kerpal]

I've been on 4 dates in the last month, all of which ended in rejection.

Girl 1: Thought it went pretty well, kept conversation going the whole time, no awkwardness, even got the kiss at the end. She then completely cut contact, didn't answer calls/texts.

Girl 2: Right away felt like she wasn't interested, after like 20 minutes she said her parents had texted her and that she had to meet them for dinner. I knew right away she was just using it as an excuse to leave. I'm surprised she even showed up, she seemed really flaky.

Girl 3: Repeat of Girl 1.

Girl 4: Thought it went well, not as good as Girl 1 but not nearly as bad as girl 2. Got the kiss at the end. A couple days later LJBFd me over text. I didn't even respond, just deleted her number. The next day she changed her dating profile to say "I'm not all about looks, but there has to be a physical attraction for me to be interested in anything other than friends". Ouch

I've also been stood up and flaked on at least a dozen times in the same time period.

How the **** do you guys keep your motivation up? Feel like I'm wasting a lot of time and money with this "meeting real girls" stuff and not getting any results with girls who are 7s at best when I could just be masturbating to pornstars who are 10s for free.

 

[JPlaya]

stop messing with b!tches

 

[Gray The Prince]

stop messing with b!tches

Please stop troll ing.

OP, rejection is a part of life. You get rejected from a university, a job, a loan, etc. This isn't any different. Just keep in mind that its a numbers game.

 

[ARrocket]

1) You just graduated college, right? So these are college-aged girls you're dealing with? So, how are you meeting these girls?

2) What do these dates consist of?

3) What's your social circle like?

 

[Marvin Gaye]

Wow you had 4 dates in the last month? More than the average Joe, in case you weren't aware....you should be proud--because that is making progress-- and instead you are here complaining

"I'm not all about looks, but there has to be a physical attraction for me to be interested in anything other than friends

Who give a **** what she wrote? You said you deleted her number; why did you continue to check her Facebook. Your attitude is total crap, and the mindset you've got sucks too lol

Feels like I'm wasting a lot of time and money with this "meeting real girls" stuff and not getting any results with girls who are 7s at best when I could just be masturbating to pornstars who are 10s for free.

Well if it feels like that maybe you just are better suited for wanking it than meeting girls,

I mean really there's not much problem here, other than your crap mindset; you are making the effort to meet girls, and they're in turn being their normal flakey selves, ****s gonna happen

 

[corrector]

I've been on 4 dates in the last month, all of which ended in rejection.

Girl 1: Thought it went pretty well, kept conversation going the whole time, no awkwardness, even got the kiss at the end. She then completely cut contact, didn't answer calls/texts.

Girl 2: Right away felt like she wasn't interested, after like 20 minutes she said her parents had texted her and that she had to meet them for dinner. I knew right away she was just using it as an excuse to leave. I'm surprised she even showed up, she seemed really flaky.

Girl 3: Repeat of Girl 1.

Girl 4: Thought it went well, not as good as Girl 1 but not nearly as bad as girl 2. Got the kiss at the end. A couple days later LJBFd me over text. I didn't even respond, just deleted her number. The next day she changed her dating profile to say "I'm not all about looks, but there has to be a physical attraction for me to be interested in anything other than friends". Ouch

I've also been stood up and flaked on at least a dozen times in the same time period.

So, reviewing your statistics.

1) Within 30 days you've arranged at least 12 dates where you were stood up and flaked on - assume at some point, or after 12 you have lost count.

2) Of the dates that were successful, which you say were 4, they too, have ended in rejection.

What you probably haven't included is the number of approaches, number closes, which I'm going to assume is a way higher number.

This means you are good at number closes or getting a commitment for a date on the spot - which have occurred at least 16 times...so you have succeed at least up to some point at least 16 times in a month.

Therefore, people who advise you to do a number's game is giving very bad advise because you are working a number's game and are extremely frustrated. Do people expect you go through 1000 girls in a month's time before you get what you want to pursue a moment of pleasure with a hot babe? You may as well just use an escort and save the time if that's the case.

How the **** do you guys keep your motivation up? Feel like I'm wasting a lot of time and money with this "meeting real girls" stuff and not getting any results with girls who are 7s at best when I could just be masturbating to pornstars who are 10s for free.

How are you wasting money? If you've meet four girls on a date, and assuming you didn't drive further than 15 minutes out of your way to meet them, I think the cost would be negligable - unless you took them out for dinner.

In terms of time, yes. You could be doing other things with your time.
But, I think interaction with women and being frustrated with them, actually will heighten your enjoyment of the porn experience. Your subconcious mind will feel bad for you and overcompensate by allowing more pleasure when looking at porn then you would otherwise. That way, you could actually use porn to re-inforce your behaviour. (i.e. if you get 10 rejections, then you can look at porn, and will probably enjoy it better than if you did nothing and looked at it).


Now, I don't know how to guage you. How could you have so many flakes? You can't be ugly or you wouldn't be getting numbers or date commitments in the first place. Maybe these girls are just spoiled super-picky brats that are looking for a movie star...with the many options women have these days -- they probably talk to 5-10 guys on their blackberries, and there is always bound to be some guy that's better than you are. Don't know there.

 

[escaleraroyal]

**** You...i Only Had 1 Date In June !!!

but yeah it's hard to stay motivated when you don't get a lay out of it.....

once i start getting one of them i will be taking my revenge and i will b FUKING HER BRAIN OUT

 

[corrector]

**** You...i Only Had 1 Date In June !!!

but yeah it's hard to stay motivated when you don't get a lay out of it.....

once i start getting one of them i will be taking my revenge and i will b FUKING HER BRAIN OUT

Be careful she doesn't cry rape afterwards.

 

[kebman]

It seems like you've been on four dates. No, let me rephrase that: It sems like you've been on four DATES.
However, like the others say, four dates in a month is great. It's certainly above average, even if you didn't close them. You can rest assured that tapping that is only a question of time.

IMO the girls flake because you do "the date thing", probably because you've been socially awkward. It may be that they smelled some kind of desperation, that you were too formal, or all kinds of stuff. I cannot give any spesific advice since you haven't given many details about what you actually DID, and how you behaved, on those dates. More info here will make it easier to give better advice.

The rejections may also be spawned by the fact that you don't escalate quickly enough, maybe because you try to be too nice. If you're a little nervous, and you don't escalate, or it seems like you're holding back, women may construe this as you not having the balls to do what it takes. For most women this is a big letdown, as it shows to her that you're just another little boy in disguise or even worse, a doormat.

Btw. escalating has nothing to do with being a bad boy, impolite, or anything like that. The best thing is a guy who is super nice, really polite, but still is fearless about escalating. (Of course this also implies that you know when to stop. If she gets angry, pushes you away, or in other ways reject you; respect it and move on.)

Also a date should be spawned by you two having a great time together from the get-go. You should have such good chemistry that a date is a given. You'll notice it by the fact that she's into you, that she's laughing at your jokes, and so on. (You certainly don't need a list of IOI's for it, but if you're in desperate need for an eye-opener, then by all means take a look. IMO the only IOI you'll ever need is that she's actively taking part in a interaction with you.) If that's the case, she may even tag along with you, and you don't even have to set a date up at all. Also slight escalation can quickly shave away if she's into you or not at a very early point. Escalation really cuts trough the bullsh!t, and the earlier you test how much she's into you, the better.

At any point in the interaction, just simply take her hand and pull her gently with you, maybe to show her something. You can also be more direct, and take her hand and cuddle it a little, for instance when you're watching a film. It's not kissing, but it's escalation enough to make an early check if she's into you. Also it shows to her that you've got balls, that you dare to say that you like her without using words, which is a BIG compliment.

Haha, sometimes taking her hand like that is harder than going for the kiss, even, because it really shows your intention - but trust me, showing your intention early on is always a good thing. Also, by escalating, you face your fear of being rejected. That's the reason why escalating is so scary, and why it really tells the girl that you're a ballsy and fearless guy she can trust will give her pleasure. Also, a guy who isn't afraid to escalate, probably wouldn't be afraid of competitions either, which is a thing that generates safety and trust for you in her.

Keep holding her hand, and maybe squeese or cuddle it a little. If she squeeses or cuddles back, she's most likely into you and you're free to take things longer. However, if she pulls her hand away early, chances are she's not ready for anything else. This is a great way to quickly make a date more interesting and create some sexual tension early on, instead of being super awkward and waiting until it's time for the "goodbye makeout in front of her parent's house" thing.

So yeah, I have vacation, it's raining outside, and I didn't have much else to do...

 

[thevilittletroll]

i'm assuming that you met these girls from a dating website like pof? its a good thing if you are at least getting dates out of the whole online thing, thats half the battle right there. the ultimate goal, i'm assuming, is to get laid right? well just keep in mind that kissing is not f.ucking, and just because your kissing does not constitiue a good date. also i think that you are portraying in your body language that you are expecting something to happen. lose that mentality, just meet them, get to know them, and have fun. dont worry about the outcome. 9 out of 10 girls you meet off the internet are not going to sleep with you on the first date anyway.

basically what happened between you and 1,3&4 is this. they liked you enough to meet you, and were somewhat attracted to you, from what you told them online, or texts, or your profile. like i said before thats half the battle is to get the date. you are a strange person they met off the internet, their defenses are high, even much higher than they would be in a bar. they have their friends there to look out for each other. on your date she's by herself. at some point during the date, she lost attraction for you. i agree with the previous post, you probably didnt escalate, or remind her of why she was attracted to you in the first place. so make your conversation more interesting. try and keep the boring interview type questions to a minimum. also the dates were probably not fun interactive dates, she found them boring. dinner, coffee, and conversation, even if its good conversation, gets boring after a while. coffee dates are ok, if its a first meeting, but keep it short so it doesnt get boring 1 hour tops. if you think its going well at that point, either cut it off yourself, or spontaneously invite her to do something fun. the kisses that you received were fake kisses. what that means is she was leading you on to beleive that she liked you, and that things were going well. in reality they werent. women do this to protect their safety, if she rejects you, you may become angry and hurt her. i've noticed that the only girls that have ever done this to me, were girls i met off the internet.

keep doing what your doing online to get the dates. you are doing a good job there. take the advice from the previous post and escalte more as well. you also need to change up what you are doing on your dates. do something that includes more that just conversation. minature golf, racing go-carts, shooting pool, playing darts, arcades. those things are fun, interactive, and different. when you include more interaction your dates will become much better. "good coversation" will not be the focus of the entire date, and will put less pressure on both of you because you are doing something fun.

 

[pdx1138]

4 in a month is good work!

I had 2 this month and though nothing occurred, it's always good practice. Who cares if they lost interest, you can get 4 more next month.

What if it worked out with all 4 of them....all of them were into you and you did them all and had to deal with that?


You're doing well!

 

[Kerpal]

So, I'm still having the same problem. The last couple months have gone as follows:

Girl 1: Went on two dates, she seemed really into me the whole time, texted me constantly, heavy making out, etc. Then out of the blue just started ignoring me.

Girl 2: Went out a couple times, heavy making out, then found out she had a kid and lied to me about it. Deleted her number.

Girl 3: Went on one date, thought it went pretty well, but she stopped responding to my calls/texts.

Girl 4: One date, heavy making out, afterward stopped responding to calls/texts.

Girl 5: One date, denied kiss, LJBFd me over text a few days later. Deleted her number.

Girl 6: Repeat of girl 2. 3rd time this has happened to me.

Girl 7: One date, successful kiss, stopped responding to calls/texts.

Girl 8: Repeat of girl 7.

Girl 9: Repeat of girl 7.

What the **** is going on here? Especially with the ones who act super interested and then start ignoring me out of the blue? And none of these girls are above a 7, with most in the 5-6 range! At this point I've literally run out of girls in my area to message who aren't total warpigs.

 

[gaspipe]

So, I'm still having the same problem. The last couple months have gone as follows:

Girl 1: Went on two dates, she seemed really into me the whole time, texted me constantly, heavy making out, etc. Then out of the blue just started ignoring me.

Girl 2: Went out a couple times, heavy making out, then found out she had a kid and lied to me about it. Deleted her number.

Girl 3: Went on one date, thought it went pretty well, but she stopped responding to my calls/texts.

Girl 4: One date, heavy making out, afterward stopped responding to calls/texts.

Girl 5: One date, denied kiss, LJBFd me over text a few days later. Deleted her number.

Girl 6: Repeat of girl 2. 3rd time this has happened to me.

Girl 7: One date, successful kiss, stopped responding to calls/texts.

Girl 8: Repeat of girl 7.

Girl 9: Repeat of girl 7.

What the **** is going on here? Especially with the ones who act super interested and then start ignoring me out of the blue? And none of these girls are above a 7, with most in the 5-6 range! At this point I've literally run out of girls in my area to message who aren't total warpigs.

I assume that you are meeting these girls off POF or someother site?

As a fellow online dater let me break it to you based on my own experience. Women there even the fatties and the ugs have so many options these days that they are constantly looking for the bigger and better deal.

Online dating essentially has become a buffet table with many dishes for women to select from. Therefore the flakeniess level is really high with these women. Unless for whatever reason she instantly falls in love with you the chances of her flaking are very high after the first date because as soon as she gets home her inbox is going to be flooded with guys messages and her attention and interest are going to be drawn elsewhere.

Therefore unless you really stand out after the first date she is going to flake because she has many options.

The good news is that you are pretty successful in closing the first meetings with them. It seems to me though you are notescalating enough. In order to hook these women you have to somehow bring them up to a sexual state that they will want to have sex with you that same day/night even though they may not want to have sex right away. Making out and kissing are not enough. You have to get her horny by amping up the kino and fondling so that she will remember the feelings you gave her that will make her want to see you again.

 

[J Roc]

stop messing with online attention wh0res

 

[Jariel]

I think the problem does lie with POF, assuming like others that this is where you're meeting these girls. I've had more dates than I can remember from POF since I signed up about 4-5 months ago. I've kissed closed all of them and they all seemed interested in me initially (bonus for me I guess). I had sex with some of them and dated one woman for over a month.

BUT, every woman I liked ended with her rejecting me. I was starting to get paranoid thinking it must be a problem with me, but one girl I'd been on a few dates with was already in a relationship, another couple were still obsessed with their exes, and others were just serial dates and I was one of many. Many others were just up for sex, despite writing on their profile how they were seeking "the one" and warned guys off who were just looking for sex. In fact, these were the women I laid within 3 hours of our first date.

I reached the conclusion that these women aren't looking for relationships at all, and that very little of what they claim to want (a gentleman, a guy who's different blah blah) is actually true. Most of them want attention or to get laid.

I've seen many guys write bad things about POF, but I never agreed as I seemed to be having so much success from it. However, once I get past my initial success, it all rings true. These women get so much attention from guys online, their egos swell beyond control and they think they can get any man they want, so even if they meet a cool, good looking guy, they would rather keep playing the field and exploring their options, hoping someone even better will come along.

Basically, most women who use POF are players. You just have to use them for sex and never hope for anything more. Don't let the rejections get to you as we're all getting the same sh!t and the common denominator here is POF.

 

[serDUDE]

when you are about to B.E.A.C.H. that you got rejected remember that dry feeling that you get between your legs[lol] when you are too busy with self pity[ahh poor me...i approached 250 girls this 3 months and got rejected 245 times] to go out and meet girls
in short everyone gets sometime in this kind of mood you just need a :kick: in the b*t and to start having fun :yes:

 

[LuisGarcia10]

The real failure would be having no dates, just keep at it, you'll be fine.

 

[pdx1138]

I can relate to that.....

All of my online dating this summer turned out that way as well.

Don't take it so seriously. I used to be a nervous wreck when
meeting a new girl, not anymore thanks to all the flaking.

+1 to gaspipe, he's spot on right.

great thread to learn from!

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

That's the game.

I had 3 women over my place last month. 2 of them were making out passionately with me, but wouldn't give up the p*ssy. The other one just wasn't feeling me, no attraction.

Oh well, that's life. When I hear a guy that's says he gets 100%, he's either a liar or a rapist.

I f*cked 8 different women last summer, this summer, only 1.

It comes in bunches. Don't give up and keep on trying.