DonShaun
New Member
Regret/Rejection
Hello Everyone, this is my first post. However, I have been lurking these boards for around a year, but decided not to post as I grew and improved myself. I now think I am at a level where I can begin to give something back and help out some of the newer DJs coming up through this site. I would first like to thank all the posters in the past (particularly posters from the high school forum), you have all completely turned my life around for the best, I owe each one of you so much, and hopefully can start showing my gratitude by adding my own pearls of wisdom for everyones viewing pleasure
This post is basically building on some material I read in the DJ bible, I forget the author but it was basically focusing on regret or rejection.
Now I am a poker player, as I am sure several of you reading this are. Many times I have raised alot of chips, thinking I had a great hand, only to find another player has a better hand. I have lost the hand and all the chips I played with, and this is not a nice feeling. I can sit around for a few minutes feeling abit annoyed at my loss.
On the other hand, sometimes I have a good hand but may decide to fold my cards, only to see other cards fall which would give me an unbeatable hand. However as I folded I do not win the pot. I have not lost any chips but the feeling is awful, knowing that I could have won chips. This is regret I often have a sick feeling that stays with me for several hours if it was a particularly big hand.
To go in with a strong hand and lose $100 is bad, however the feeling of not playing a hand I know I should have played where i could have won only $50 is far worse. Why is this the case when my loss is greater than the amount I could have won?
The reason again comes down to regret. If I play a hand and lose, I know I have given it my best shot, I may be angry I have lost, but I know I was beaten, and the best man on that particular hand won. However to not have the balls to play a hand I know I should play leaves a much worse feeling. This is because I not only have the regret of the loss of chips I could have won, but also the shame of knowing I did not have the balls to play. Regret feels much worse than failing.
It is far better to try your best and lose than not try at all and wonder what could have been.
This is not a poker lesson, so what does what I have just said have to do with real life, namely seducing women. It is exactly the same theory in these other situations. In EVERY situation regret is worse than failing/losing or being rejected.
Lets talk about regret/rejection in a different scenario, one you will all be interested in, approaching a HB.
If you approach her you may feel pride, knowing that you had the courage to approach. You give it your best shot, but unfortunately you are rejected. Yes this hurts, I won't pretend it doesn't. Your ego may be temporarily bruised, however it will recover in a short amount of time.
On the other hand you may have not approached her. You will feel the same bruising of ego as you would have from rejection from the knowing you didn't have the balls. You may have been confident of success however as you didn't approach you failed. You may be kicking yourself for not approaching, wondering what could have happened between you. You may have cost yourself a ONS, a STR, a LTR, you may even have walked away from a woman you may have spent the rest of your life with. Who knows what could have happened. You certainly won't. This feeling you are feeling is regret. I know you have all felt it at some time. And you will all agree that it hurts alot more than rejection. This hurting may last for a longer period of time too. Remember how bad it feels next time you are unsure whether to approach.
The same goes for everything in your life. If you love a particular sport, go for it, become the best you possibly can. Do it whilst you can, you don't want to one day wake up and realise you are too old to achieve your childhood dreams, whether it be winning the world cup, Wimbledon, US Open, Superbowl, Olympic Gold, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Try your very best, if you fail so what, you tried, but do not put things off as one day, trust me, you WILL regret this.
Try to live a life with no regrets. If you regret nothing, this means you have seized every oppertunity possible (you may have had some failures, but you will have maximised your successes). You will also be happier in yourself as you know you are living to your full potential. A happy man is much more attractive than a depressed man. But you all know that anyway.
So for anyone out there who are putting off fulfilling their dreams I say stop the dreaming and start fulfilling. Every day you wait is an extra day until you have achieved everything you desire, as well as an extra day you will regret wasting. Waste too many of these days and you will die a bitter man, you are all DJs, you should not be bitter, so don't let this become you.
If you learn/remember one thing from this post, let it be this: Regret is far worse than rejection. Giving 100% at something and failing is far better than doing nothing at all (and as DJs if we give 100% we will all start succeeding eventually!).
And one final thing
I regret nothing I have done in my life. The only things I regret are the things I have NOT done
Hello Everyone, this is my first post. However, I have been lurking these boards for around a year, but decided not to post as I grew and improved myself. I now think I am at a level where I can begin to give something back and help out some of the newer DJs coming up through this site. I would first like to thank all the posters in the past (particularly posters from the high school forum), you have all completely turned my life around for the best, I owe each one of you so much, and hopefully can start showing my gratitude by adding my own pearls of wisdom for everyones viewing pleasure
This post is basically building on some material I read in the DJ bible, I forget the author but it was basically focusing on regret or rejection.
Now I am a poker player, as I am sure several of you reading this are. Many times I have raised alot of chips, thinking I had a great hand, only to find another player has a better hand. I have lost the hand and all the chips I played with, and this is not a nice feeling. I can sit around for a few minutes feeling abit annoyed at my loss.
On the other hand, sometimes I have a good hand but may decide to fold my cards, only to see other cards fall which would give me an unbeatable hand. However as I folded I do not win the pot. I have not lost any chips but the feeling is awful, knowing that I could have won chips. This is regret I often have a sick feeling that stays with me for several hours if it was a particularly big hand.
To go in with a strong hand and lose $100 is bad, however the feeling of not playing a hand I know I should have played where i could have won only $50 is far worse. Why is this the case when my loss is greater than the amount I could have won?
The reason again comes down to regret. If I play a hand and lose, I know I have given it my best shot, I may be angry I have lost, but I know I was beaten, and the best man on that particular hand won. However to not have the balls to play a hand I know I should play leaves a much worse feeling. This is because I not only have the regret of the loss of chips I could have won, but also the shame of knowing I did not have the balls to play. Regret feels much worse than failing.
It is far better to try your best and lose than not try at all and wonder what could have been.
This is not a poker lesson, so what does what I have just said have to do with real life, namely seducing women. It is exactly the same theory in these other situations. In EVERY situation regret is worse than failing/losing or being rejected.
Lets talk about regret/rejection in a different scenario, one you will all be interested in, approaching a HB.
If you approach her you may feel pride, knowing that you had the courage to approach. You give it your best shot, but unfortunately you are rejected. Yes this hurts, I won't pretend it doesn't. Your ego may be temporarily bruised, however it will recover in a short amount of time.
On the other hand you may have not approached her. You will feel the same bruising of ego as you would have from rejection from the knowing you didn't have the balls. You may have been confident of success however as you didn't approach you failed. You may be kicking yourself for not approaching, wondering what could have happened between you. You may have cost yourself a ONS, a STR, a LTR, you may even have walked away from a woman you may have spent the rest of your life with. Who knows what could have happened. You certainly won't. This feeling you are feeling is regret. I know you have all felt it at some time. And you will all agree that it hurts alot more than rejection. This hurting may last for a longer period of time too. Remember how bad it feels next time you are unsure whether to approach.
The same goes for everything in your life. If you love a particular sport, go for it, become the best you possibly can. Do it whilst you can, you don't want to one day wake up and realise you are too old to achieve your childhood dreams, whether it be winning the world cup, Wimbledon, US Open, Superbowl, Olympic Gold, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Try your very best, if you fail so what, you tried, but do not put things off as one day, trust me, you WILL regret this.
Try to live a life with no regrets. If you regret nothing, this means you have seized every oppertunity possible (you may have had some failures, but you will have maximised your successes). You will also be happier in yourself as you know you are living to your full potential. A happy man is much more attractive than a depressed man. But you all know that anyway.
So for anyone out there who are putting off fulfilling their dreams I say stop the dreaming and start fulfilling. Every day you wait is an extra day until you have achieved everything you desire, as well as an extra day you will regret wasting. Waste too many of these days and you will die a bitter man, you are all DJs, you should not be bitter, so don't let this become you.
If you learn/remember one thing from this post, let it be this: Regret is far worse than rejection. Giving 100% at something and failing is far better than doing nothing at all (and as DJs if we give 100% we will all start succeeding eventually!).
And one final thing
I regret nothing I have done in my life. The only things I regret are the things I have NOT done
Last edited: