regret dumping her :(

[ink_wizard]

As a follow up to my last posts on here and incase some of you didnt read it, i recently broke up with my gf of 3 months, we were in a LDR and before the break up things were going downhill despite me trying to fix things and still not improving so i left her.

But i feel like i have made a massive mistake and should of stuck things out till she dumped me....She constantly tells me that i have broken her heart and now its time for her to "f*ck off" and move on, she ignores my calls and my texts and when she does reply its always things like "love is not enough for me" im distancing my self from you for a reason, move on bla bla"
But no matter what i cant seem to do it ive just deleted her from my facebook as i cant bear to see other guys flirting with her and vice versa but i dont know if ive done the wrong thing? and ive offcially gone no contact start from today.....is there any guarantees she'll come back to me? or at least message me in a few weeks to see how i am and want to remain friends?

I would still like to have her as a friend in my life or to get her back...what are your suggestions boys?? please help!

 

[Suvian]

As a man you have to stand by your decisions when it comes to things like this. If you don't honor the choice you have made, then no one else will. Remember what you were thinking when you dumped her. Those reasons why you dumped her, none of of those things have changed. Whats changed is your resolve in your own decision making, which is something you need to improve on.

 

[ink_wizard]

I know but i feel like i have made a massive mistake and now im regretting it...i want her back

 

[Juan Don]

been there done that but my relationship was longer. 3 months is not a long time invested. cut your losses and move on. don't start looking at her profile or find out what she's up to. you're just going to keep your mind wondering. if you can be friends with her and not see her as nothing more then sure be friends. otherwise it will just tear you apart talking with other dudes just as her flirting on facebook has. take this as a learning experience. when you say it's over. it's over. she will respect you more and you keep your dignity for standing your ground on dumping her rather than being uncertain in your decision.

 

[ink_wizard]

when can i contact her to ask her to be friends?? im going NC at the moment...whens the right time? and i dont have her on facebook anymore

 

[Juan Don]

when can i contact her to ask her to be friends?? im going NC at the moment...whens the right time? and i dont have her on facebook anymore

don't. let her be the one. you move on meet other women and have fun with life without her. if she comes around then fine, if not it's ok because after time you will already have moved on

 

[doctorj]

you don't contact her, she contacts you

 

[ink_wizard]

and have i done the right thing in deleting her from facebook?

also i dont get when she says "love is not enough for me" after saying she will always love me? mind you she is a stubborn, hardass girl

 

[Serg897]

Why the hell did you dump her in the first place then? What was your rationale? Have you already forgotten?

Like the other posters said, you must be a man and stick by your decisions.

Its so funny, just today one of the girls in my lab got dumped by her long term boyfriend of three years. My lab is mostly women, so there was a panel of cheerleaders telling her all the usual things "he was just a ****ing jerk anyway, you're better off without him, etc"

Then one of them goes "yeah, and I think most guys regret decisions like that anyway, and by then its TOO LATE"

Wow. Here I am thinking that women must think they have all the power if guys truly always act this way. Are most breakups really initiated by women, and the ones initiated by men they end up regretting?

Prime example with the OP. Do you really want to be the average chump that regrets his decisions, or do you want to be a man who takes charge of his life and stands by his convictions?

This is OVER man. YOU did it for a reason. MOVE ON.

 

[Juan Don]

and have i done the right thing in deleting her from facebook?

also i dont get when she says "love is not enough for me" after saying she will always love me? mind you she is a stubborn, hardass girl

yes you did good deleting her just make sure as to not visit her page or any thing you see with her in it.

i cannot decipher what she means by that. but i know women's feelings and emotions can change like a flip of a light switch. best not to try and analyze it and just move on.

 

[ink_wizard]

Serg i dumped her because after she visited me and went back home, she was all distant and quiet which is not like her, we used to text pretty much all day and have hour plus phone calls because we were in LDR an all that went down to maybe 1 message a day which wasnt even that curious to see how i was to 5 min phone calls to which she always ended because she was "too busy" or always "had to go" she told me there was nothing going on and that i was being paranoid but yet few days later it kept continuing and she got all sh1tty with me and i lost it an dumped her....and now i regret it because i keep thinking maybe i over reacted or should had let her dump me if thats what she was planning to do

 

[ink_wizard]

UPDATE: ok so she messaged me today and apologized for being a b1tch to me and says she wants to remain friends to which i have agreed to..but my question now is do i still let her initiate contact with me during this "friend" period? and is it wise not to bring up relationship stuff untill she brings it up?

 

[Love's Orphan]

You said yes to the friend thing... Are you willing to control yourself when she talks to other guys in front or you?

 

[ink_wizard]

im going to have to deal with it i guess although im hoping from the friendship it can form into something more...

 

[Love's Orphan]

Good luck. I never had anything with any of the ladies that wanted me to be friends.

 

[betheman]

"LOVE ISNT ENOUGH FOR ME" =
Your love isnt enough for me,you dont have enough of what I want...Im not in love with you!
Sorry but that is what it eans, she doesnt love you. now stop wasting another moment of your precious life on her, you identified problems in the relationship, took action and tried to move on, you miss the nice bits though, you have no iother options, thats why you 'miss her', your not missing her, your missing those nice feelings.
those problems you had, they wont just go away, you need to.

 

[MM92]

I've been through this before but I was with my girlfriend for over a year. When I split with her it was almost as though there were no feelings there for her despite her being mad on me. Then as soon as I see that other guys were taking an interest in her I realised I wanted her back. She then decided she wanted to stay friends. Then, as I wanted what I couldn't have I tried and tried to get her to fix things with me. The more she rejected me (the power was shifting) the more and more my pride was dented I wanted her. I know if I would have acted differently she would have came back to me. Yours may not but do yourself a favour and stay cool and act like you don't really care, this will wind her up and make her want you more. DO NOT start begging for her to take you back, like the old me.

Also, there is a very good thread/post on DJ Tips that will help you. It's absolutely spot on.

 

[DonJuanabe]

"Love is not enough for me." = "I need physical intimacy, I need lust, I need sex." I can make this much, much harsher and more descriptive for you but I'll refrain for now.

You broke up with her verbally but you were too late; she already broke up with you emotionally.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Man up b!tch.

 

[lockout]

i'm glad u got friended get over the oneitis