Regret cheating on my wife, she wants divorce

[DjVelvet]

Previously, I have posted several topics about me cheating on my wife.

My wife actually employed a private investigator to follow me and discovered my affair with my 6months mistress.

Initially, my wife still wants to give me chance, but I chose to move out with mistress for 2weeks. Wife discovered from private investigator with photo and video evidence.

Now wife wants divorce, she is very firm with it.. Her heart has hardened.. That's when I totally wake up... I want my wife back... I stayed home and we are still sleeping on the same bed and still in talking terms.

Wife wishes me all the best with my mistress, but now... I actually badly want my wife back and totally no intention to stick with my mistress.

I actually beg my wife to give me a second chance.. But she said no.. She has given up hope on me.

The divorce letter is going to be out in 2days time, she expects me to sign without drama, she is not going to claim alimony and only expect me to pay our daughter her monthly living expense which I am okay with it...

Now the thing is... I really want my wife back... I did some soul searching.. Deep in me, I love my wife a lot a lot... I am prepared to give up my mistress (which is maybe too late now)...

I am in a desperate situation and I can't eat sleep well for the past 4days... Non stop thinking about my wife..

Is there any idea to get my wife back?? She is not seeing anyone now..

Or shall I give up?? And start a new life with mistress??

**I know I deserve all these sh!t.. I am the one causing all this and karma has already got back to me..***
I really want to change my ways and be a good dad and husband.. I swear!!

 

[DjVelvet]

Additional point, my wife said the divorce will be good for me and her.. And she said we can still hang out as friends and go out with daughter in the future

This is not a messy situation as we are still in talking terms (except we are not talking about romance)

Is there hope?? She keep re assure me that the divorce decision is final.

She has adultery evidences, so i am legally binded by law to sign the divorce letter.

 

[donking]

Your wife is smart to stick with the divorce. Once a ... always a ... You're young. Just move on.

Seems like you can still be friends with her anyways.

I got an annulment from mine and I'm still hitting it regularly.

 

[Asasione]

Go back and read some of the great responses you received while high on your mistress, you'll see some sense in what they tell you now though its too late, with that in mind figure out how to sort yourself since I'm sure you will do what you want regardless of what anyone advises you

 

[DjVelvet]

Thanks bro, I am more or less prepared for the divorce..

However, I repent and regret..

I sincerely hope anyone can give me some possible solutions to get her back...
Really sincerely seeking for advices

 

[Desdinova]

It's natural for humans to want what they can't have.

Sorry, but now it's time to lie in the bed you made for yourself. The only way you're going to be able to get your wife back is to treat her like an ex for a year or more, and then start flirting and using kino on her. But you've got two things working against you with that:

1) You must keep contact with her for the sake of your daughter. You cannot go no-contact with her unless you're willing to give up seeing your daughter completely
2) She fvcking hates you right now, and she might hate you for a VERY long time.

A woman isn't like a coin you lose inside a couch. You can't just do a little bit of work to get her back. Women are highly responsive to their emotions. The fact that you fvcked around on her is going to keep her emotions on the negative side when she thinks about you. Turning that around is going to require a great deal of time.

Honestly, I think you're best off to learn something from all of this, cut your losses and move on.

 

[Down Low]

I'm going to tell you exactly what I told you before. Find a couple of hot, young babes, and fvck their brains out for a couple of months.

 

[DjVelvet]

It's natural for humans to want what they can't have.

Sorry, but now it's time to lie in the bed you made for yourself. The only way you're going to be able to get your wife back is to treat her like an ex for a year or more, and then start flirting and using kino on her. But you've got two things working against you with that:

1) You must keep contact with her for the sake of your daughter. You cannot go no-contact with her unless you're willing to give up seeing your daughter completely
2) She fvcking hates you right now, and she might hate you for a VERY long time.

A woman isn't like a coin you lose inside a couch. You can't just do a little bit of work to get her back. Women are highly responsive to their emotions. The fact that you fvcked around on her is going to keep her emotions on the negative side when she thinks about you. Turning that around is going to require a great deal of time.

Honestly, I think you're best off to learn something from all of this, cut your losses and move on.

Desdinova, I sincerely apologise to you for failing to heed you and other ss brothers' advice.

I will take this lesson hard in my brain. Painful lesson though.

I totally agree with you that I have to run the "how to get ex back" to re-attract her but I won't pin all hopes on that.

To be really honest, it's only when my wife is dead serious about divorce, then I woke up from my fantasy and began to want her back. If she did not know about the affair or if she still gave me a chance when I am still "high" on my mistress, I may not cherish her and family.

It's a total wakeup call, and I haven't feel such sadness in my life before.. But I will still raise my head, be my daughter's respectable dad to my best ability..

My wife isn't seeing anyone, but she is hot and capable.. Orbitors will be coming soon..

Divorce letter coming up in 2days..

 

[DjVelvet]

will stop crying and beg for her to return even though I swear how much I want my family back...

Mistress actually is extremely sad that I have been paying her no attention ever since I stick at home, trying to get my wife back..
Honestly, I think I am also stringing mistress along... She actually is dying to have a future with me...

Too bad I know what I really want too late...

I still hope for a miracle that my wife will want me back..

 

[evan12]

every time you beg and cry to your wife, she will be more sure that the decision that she is taking is correct .
be calm , may be move out of the home , so she may miss you and change her mind , if there is still time for that
if you still sleeping with her and begging her and crying dont expect any change

 

[DjVelvet]

every time you beg and cry to your wife, she will be more sure that the decision that she is taking is correct .
be calm , may be move out of the home , so she may miss you and change her mind , if there is still time for that
if you still sleeping with her and begging her and crying dont expect any change

Agree! However, I am not sure if moving out does any good, since that time I once move out with my mistress for 2weeks, which was the decisive point which made my wife filing for divorce

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

What was it that made you decide to get with the mistress? Lack of sex / attention / appreciation from the wife?

 

[C-quenced]

I sincerely apologise to you for failing to heed you and other ss brothers' advice.

I will take this lesson hard in my brain. Painful lesson though.

You don't owe anyone (except your daughter) any apologies dude. Not even your wife. You did what you had to do and everyone refuses to understand. The feelings you had for your wife were always there and it's not like you wanted to abandon her and your family to begin with but unfortunately your wife will never understand. To hell with her. Let it be a painful lesson as in being more careful next time around and not getting caught ever again.

I totally agree with you that I have to run the "how to get ex back" to re-attract her but I won't pin all hopes on that.

You stop trying to get her back and it's either she comes back to you on her own terms or not. It may never happen and there's no point in living in the past. The only way to go is forward.

To be really honest, it's only when my wife is dead serious about divorce, then I woke up from my fantasy and began to want her back.

Yeah that was exactly her point. To bring you out of your fantasy.

My wife isn't seeing anyone, but she is hot and capable.. Orbitors will be coming soon..

Divorce letter coming up in 2days..

So let the orbiters come and happily sign the letter. Theoretically speaking she is probably the one to have lost interest in the marriage way before any of this took place, and this is probably the perfect opportunity for her to opt out. Go take care of your mistress and I'd also go with what Down Low has said earlier.

I noticed that the best way to get over a particular woman (I don't care how attractive, or how good in bed she is) is to find another one that rivals her, if not surpasses her, in everything that attracted you to your ex in the first place. May seem impossible at first but if you listen to this out of everything I said you'll be a much happier man.

 

[speed dawg]

What was it that made you decide to get with the mistress? Lack of sex / attention / appreciation from the wife?

No. Go read his previous threads and posts on this subject. This buffoon got exactly what he asked for. He had plenty of time to get his rocks off with this mistress and still go back to his wife (which I don't condone, but I digress). But he fell in love and acted like a b1tch. This guy got some SERIOUSLY good advice in a number of threads. I feel no remorse for this idiot.

I can't believe people are still trying to help him.

 

[The Gambler]

No. Go read his previous threads and posts on this subject. This buffoon got exactly what he asked for. He had plenty of time to get his rocks off with this mistress and still go back to his wife (which I don't condone, but I digress). But he fell in love and acted like a b1tch. This guy got some SERIOUSLY good advice in a number of threads. I feel no remorse for this idiot.

I can't believe people are still trying to help him.

Repped for using the word "buffoon."

 

[C-quenced]

No. Go read his previous threads and posts on this subject. This buffoon got exactly what he asked for. He had plenty of time to get his rocks off with this mistress and still go back to his wife (which I don't condone, but I digress). But he fell in love and acted like a b1tch. This guy got some SERIOUSLY good advice in a number of threads. I feel no remorse for this idiot.

I can't believe people are still trying to help him.

I had no idea about the falling in love with the mistress part lol. I'll go do a search.

 

[DjVelvet]

You may find this hard to believe, but you DON'T really want your wife back. You're smarting from he rejection and thinking of what you'll be missing about her. And you're probably realizing that a healthy family life is better for your daughter. But if you truly had wanted her, you wouldn't have had a relationship with a mistress. It's one thing to have a moment of weakness, but you had an ongoing emotional/physical affair. That's the biggest threat to a woman's sense of family security that you can introduce. She's written you off and is worried about her and your daughter now. You're out.

Samspade, u r actually right to a certain degree. At the point of rejection I am actually wanting my wife back badly.. The divorce letter is not out yet. But I no longer crave for my wife as much as in the point of rejection.. It may due to the coldness from my wife for this 1 week.. I just feel tired

Other forums mentioned that I should be remorseful and apologetic towards my wife and build her trust by giving up my total freedom (giving her my phone etc) for months or even up to 2years!!, I have done so for a few days, but its really not my style as I am still young attractive and rich, I cannot imagine myself just wanting my wife for months and years(with low probability of her coming back)

If she comes back, fine. But I am not going to just persist in getting her back by being needy begging.

 

[Pair A Dice]

You fvcked up. Deal with it.

 

[DjVelvet]

It has been 2months since we signed the divorce papers,

Life is quite empty ever since my daughter and ex wife moved out.

My ex wife and I are still in good talking terms minus the romance. She welcomes me to visit my daughter frequently.

I am the sales upline of hers, so occasionally we still talked about work.

I have already dumped the mistress a month ago, she may or may not know it, I didn't go all the way to tell her.

Have been working really hard and hitting the gym.

I really miss my ex wife and my daughter, perhaps I am still living in denial and crave for the once complete family.

I am actually ashamed to ask the forum again..
Are there anyways to get her back.? Of coz I will not go all the way just to get her back. I am also self improving for my own life

 

[GotED?]

One of the important lessons of becoming a real man in my opinion is to make the 'best decision' you can at the time.

Your BEST is going to vary day by day. For example, doing your best yesterday while you were down with a severe flu is going to be very different then next Monday when you are recovered and well. So doing your BEST is going to be a moving variable, depending on your psychological and physiological state of mind.

Becoming a REAL man, is learning to make the best decision at any time in your life, and DOING your best. Never look back and regret, if you know you DID YOUR BEST at that moment in time (although you look back and you know you would do better NOW, but that is not the point).

Own up to your action and be responsible. Learn from your decision and now live your PRESENT with the best decision you can make and you can be.

Be a good father to your daughter. Your wife is history. Leave the Oneitis behind. Once you have her again, you very well may cheat again 10 years down the line. Something was missing between you and her for that to happen in the first place.

With respect,

Exodus