Some people have been saying BPD is a tiny tiny fraction of the population therefore chance of an encounter is slim. I don't subscribe to this point of view, heres why. Some of you might just learn something valuable from this so read on...
Borderlines, Narcissists, Sociopaths, all come under the label of Psychopath. They all share core psychopathic traits. According to studies, approximately 4% (thats 1 in 25 people!) of the population have core psychopathic traits, ie. they are Psychopaths.
Whether BPD or another psychopathic pathology, when you get into a relationship with one of these women YOU KNOW ABOUT IT. And it's a lonely experience because only people who have been exposed to them can RELATE to you regarding the situation. Everyone else will think you are over reacting, or that its sour grapes etc.
They are a target-specific predator. Some guys are a lot more susceptible than others. They hunt for compassionate, sensitive, caring people. Along with guys with low self-esteem, poor boundaries and guys who believe its their job to make the relationship work. Many guys will eject before it goes too far, but others will ignore the red flags and get sucked in.
Psychopaths have no remorse, empathy or compassion WHATSOEVER. They live only to manipulate for their own gain and they do so through the invention of personas. Once they have entrapped you into a relationship, they KILL OFF the persona and you are left with the reality of the psychopath. Hence the mass confusion, pain and feeling of LOSS after the relationship is over, as if a person you loved has DIED. In truth you fell in love with an ACT, a carefully crafted mask designed solely to work you and enter you into an infatuated, dependant state. Hence people reporting to having an experience similar to finding their 'soul-mate'. They are masters at observing people and manipulation and basicly reflect everything you love about yourself back to you, before dropping the act and hurting you over and over while keeping you in a fog of confusion. Then they either leave you without explanation or continue to decieve and manipulate you untill you are forced to leave them.
There is no CLOSURE, EVER with these women. Thats the hard part to come to terms with, its like a wound that can't heal.
Psychopaths are not axe-murderers. they are your boss, your neighbour and your co-workers. And the thought they would ATTEND THERAPY to get a diagnosis is laughable. They are thriving, wolves amongst sheep, why would they go for 'help' to remove them of this 'genetic advantage'.
post-ex-girlfriend, I learned that there is not good in all people. These women, and men, are barely human, because they lack core human capacity for emotions so they operate on a totally different agenda. Which is why trying to decipher their motives through the screen of your OWN thinking is futile. We cannot relate to them because they are missing peices that would make them truly human.
I'm sure some guys on here who've been on the receiving end of womens games, flakyness, inconsistent behaviour and perhaps even cheating etc. have concluded BPD. This is going to be a natural side effect from the discussions on here. Regardless, there are psycho women out there who do manage to entrap and begin destroying decent men, and it's important for guys on here to not feel pressured about discussing their concerns because the best way to overcome these experiences is to read and relate and educate yourself in forums like this and other internet sources. I spent 2 months every day reading and absorbing information after I split with my ex. It was the only comfort I had. Almost like a fvcking teddy bear to hold while I dealt with the shame, confusion, guilt, anger, anxiety, massive stress, uncomparable emotional pain and doubt i was left with. I nearly lost it at one point. THAT'S how you know youve been with a BPD and not a flakey b1tch. You're left trying to hold together your sanity afterwards, and no one can understand what your going through.
B1tches do not want to destroy you and cause you massive pain, BPD's/Psychopaths do. But no one else will beleive you and they will shine around others. Its only the manipulated few who are exposed to the truth of them. They most fear being discovered for what they are, because it's an invonvenience to start again with a new life and social group etc.
My mate was with one for 5 years and he nearly lost his mind. This is a guy who'd ****ed probably 100 girls and had always been a hit with the ladies. You think a b1tch or flakey woman could have done that to him?
She came home once with a gooey substance on her jeans once, he said 'whats that, is that sperm?' she denied it so he actually grabbed it and smelt it. she told him it must be his even though he hadn't seen her all day. But he was still left doubting his own perceptions due to the brainwashing and crazy-making behaviour he had been exposed to over the years.
She fvcked both his brothers and 3 other dudes. Called the police on him and had him intimidated because of 'domestic violence' because after she had been attacking him physically he tried to restrain her. They have a son together and she is dragging him through the courts now with vile lies, trying to fvck him over from a distance.
To speak to she seems totally sweet and slightly dosile... its all an act, shes a devious manipulator underneath.
Like I say, if you've been there you'll relate to everything i'm saying. If you haven't you'll be rationalising and trying to understand these womens' behaviour from your perspective, a HUMAN perspective. They don't operate like us. This is why guys observing from the position of non-direct experience are skeptical of all this 'BPD' talk and think its guys being soft and whining because they got hurt.
I say give the BPD talk its space to be. Allow the noobs to complain that their girlfriend threw a glass and flaked on a movie date so she must be BPD. Because sometimes a guy will come in who is with a bona-fida BPD/Psycho and needs to sound off and get advice, at which times places like this are invaluble. It was to me and i'd be gutted if all BPD talk was just shunned by the majority of guys who have never experienced one.
Because if you haven't had first hand experience or at least a lot of insight through self educating then you don't know sh1t on the matter and should respond accordingly.
I Think i've written this because I met my ex last year about this time, just getting to xmas, and she was setting the stage with her 'adoring, easy going, fun, loving, caring and super sexual, mask of deception' that she used to wrap me up in the relationship fast, before I really had chance to see what was happening.
A few months later she ripped the rug out from under me and I was exposed to the 'real her' and a rollercoaster of hurt, negativity and confusion ensued. I eventually managed to split with her in march. and it took 2 months to recover to a point where I was 'sane' again.
I'll never know the full extent of her deceptions, but it doesn't matter now, all I need to know is she's rotten to the core, it was nothing personal to me, I was just another faceless victim to her, and probably right now she'll be working at least 2 guys the same way she did me last year.
I had a lucky escape and have grown immensely from the experience. In a way these women are a real route to self development and true growth as a human (if you get out with your sanity). They expose us to so much pain and parts of ourselves we lock away that we come out the other side a lot wiser, stronger and more fully-rounded as individuals.
Womens games bounce off me now, its like dealing with children. Its almost endearing to meet a b1tch or a disrespectful/flakey woman, because compared to a Psychopath they are sweet little kittens of love. Im much more honest and emotionally open to women now, but at the same time, comparatively emotionally armour plated and genuinely masculine.
She was my greatest gift brilliantly disguised as my worst nightmare.
So on this day I say to my ex: Merry Christmas Brat, wherever or whoever you may be X
Borderlines, Narcissists, Sociopaths, all come under the label of Psychopath. They all share core psychopathic traits. According to studies, approximately 4% (thats 1 in 25 people!) of the population have core psychopathic traits, ie. they are Psychopaths.
Whether BPD or another psychopathic pathology, when you get into a relationship with one of these women YOU KNOW ABOUT IT. And it's a lonely experience because only people who have been exposed to them can RELATE to you regarding the situation. Everyone else will think you are over reacting, or that its sour grapes etc.
They are a target-specific predator. Some guys are a lot more susceptible than others. They hunt for compassionate, sensitive, caring people. Along with guys with low self-esteem, poor boundaries and guys who believe its their job to make the relationship work. Many guys will eject before it goes too far, but others will ignore the red flags and get sucked in.
Psychopaths have no remorse, empathy or compassion WHATSOEVER. They live only to manipulate for their own gain and they do so through the invention of personas. Once they have entrapped you into a relationship, they KILL OFF the persona and you are left with the reality of the psychopath. Hence the mass confusion, pain and feeling of LOSS after the relationship is over, as if a person you loved has DIED. In truth you fell in love with an ACT, a carefully crafted mask designed solely to work you and enter you into an infatuated, dependant state. Hence people reporting to having an experience similar to finding their 'soul-mate'. They are masters at observing people and manipulation and basicly reflect everything you love about yourself back to you, before dropping the act and hurting you over and over while keeping you in a fog of confusion. Then they either leave you without explanation or continue to decieve and manipulate you untill you are forced to leave them.
There is no CLOSURE, EVER with these women. Thats the hard part to come to terms with, its like a wound that can't heal.
Psychopaths are not axe-murderers. they are your boss, your neighbour and your co-workers. And the thought they would ATTEND THERAPY to get a diagnosis is laughable. They are thriving, wolves amongst sheep, why would they go for 'help' to remove them of this 'genetic advantage'.
post-ex-girlfriend, I learned that there is not good in all people. These women, and men, are barely human, because they lack core human capacity for emotions so they operate on a totally different agenda. Which is why trying to decipher their motives through the screen of your OWN thinking is futile. We cannot relate to them because they are missing peices that would make them truly human.
I'm sure some guys on here who've been on the receiving end of womens games, flakyness, inconsistent behaviour and perhaps even cheating etc. have concluded BPD. This is going to be a natural side effect from the discussions on here. Regardless, there are psycho women out there who do manage to entrap and begin destroying decent men, and it's important for guys on here to not feel pressured about discussing their concerns because the best way to overcome these experiences is to read and relate and educate yourself in forums like this and other internet sources. I spent 2 months every day reading and absorbing information after I split with my ex. It was the only comfort I had. Almost like a fvcking teddy bear to hold while I dealt with the shame, confusion, guilt, anger, anxiety, massive stress, uncomparable emotional pain and doubt i was left with. I nearly lost it at one point. THAT'S how you know youve been with a BPD and not a flakey b1tch. You're left trying to hold together your sanity afterwards, and no one can understand what your going through.
B1tches do not want to destroy you and cause you massive pain, BPD's/Psychopaths do. But no one else will beleive you and they will shine around others. Its only the manipulated few who are exposed to the truth of them. They most fear being discovered for what they are, because it's an invonvenience to start again with a new life and social group etc.
My mate was with one for 5 years and he nearly lost his mind. This is a guy who'd ****ed probably 100 girls and had always been a hit with the ladies. You think a b1tch or flakey woman could have done that to him?
She came home once with a gooey substance on her jeans once, he said 'whats that, is that sperm?' she denied it so he actually grabbed it and smelt it. she told him it must be his even though he hadn't seen her all day. But he was still left doubting his own perceptions due to the brainwashing and crazy-making behaviour he had been exposed to over the years.
She fvcked both his brothers and 3 other dudes. Called the police on him and had him intimidated because of 'domestic violence' because after she had been attacking him physically he tried to restrain her. They have a son together and she is dragging him through the courts now with vile lies, trying to fvck him over from a distance.
To speak to she seems totally sweet and slightly dosile... its all an act, shes a devious manipulator underneath.
Like I say, if you've been there you'll relate to everything i'm saying. If you haven't you'll be rationalising and trying to understand these womens' behaviour from your perspective, a HUMAN perspective. They don't operate like us. This is why guys observing from the position of non-direct experience are skeptical of all this 'BPD' talk and think its guys being soft and whining because they got hurt.
I say give the BPD talk its space to be. Allow the noobs to complain that their girlfriend threw a glass and flaked on a movie date so she must be BPD. Because sometimes a guy will come in who is with a bona-fida BPD/Psycho and needs to sound off and get advice, at which times places like this are invaluble. It was to me and i'd be gutted if all BPD talk was just shunned by the majority of guys who have never experienced one.
Because if you haven't had first hand experience or at least a lot of insight through self educating then you don't know sh1t on the matter and should respond accordingly.
I Think i've written this because I met my ex last year about this time, just getting to xmas, and she was setting the stage with her 'adoring, easy going, fun, loving, caring and super sexual, mask of deception' that she used to wrap me up in the relationship fast, before I really had chance to see what was happening.
A few months later she ripped the rug out from under me and I was exposed to the 'real her' and a rollercoaster of hurt, negativity and confusion ensued. I eventually managed to split with her in march. and it took 2 months to recover to a point where I was 'sane' again.
I'll never know the full extent of her deceptions, but it doesn't matter now, all I need to know is she's rotten to the core, it was nothing personal to me, I was just another faceless victim to her, and probably right now she'll be working at least 2 guys the same way she did me last year.
I had a lucky escape and have grown immensely from the experience. In a way these women are a real route to self development and true growth as a human (if you get out with your sanity). They expose us to so much pain and parts of ourselves we lock away that we come out the other side a lot wiser, stronger and more fully-rounded as individuals.
Womens games bounce off me now, its like dealing with children. Its almost endearing to meet a b1tch or a disrespectful/flakey woman, because compared to a Psychopath they are sweet little kittens of love. Im much more honest and emotionally open to women now, but at the same time, comparatively emotionally armour plated and genuinely masculine.
She was my greatest gift brilliantly disguised as my worst nightmare.
So on this day I say to my ex: Merry Christmas Brat, wherever or whoever you may be X
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