Regarding looks dept.: Do the MEN tell you what the Women won't?

[white sox bill]

Heres what I mean guys...since there are several threads recently about the importance of being good looking (not neseasarity atrractiveness), lets look at this from another angle.

As an older DJ, when I was in my 20's, I never needed a game. I was a competing bodybuilder who could pull a** by just standing around. So I never really needed to know "how" to talk to females. As I grew into my mid 30's and beyond, the rules have changed. To pull pvssy, I needed a game. Which I never fully developed. Now I'm well into my 40's, and after yrs of not getting it, I now am developing it. I went thru dry spells like you wouldn't beleive. Thats starting to change, but still have my bad times. Back to my orginal question..

Whenever rejected in recent yrs, I blamed my detearating looks--or should I say my perception of. I still bodybuild and will compete again in 6 months.Most people guess me 5-8 yrs younger than I really am. But still I thought of myself as declining in looks. Then this light bulb came on..some women have complimented me on being good looking, but the majority won't offer comments for whatever reason. Instead, it was the MEN who were saying things like "Dude if I looked like you, I be getting laid every night!" or "Man you must pull some serious pvssy!" or "I can tell you are a player" in references to my looks.

Now don't get me wrong---I tend to be very humble. I'm not bragging by any means--but do DJ's ever stop and listen to what the men may be saying as opposed to what the women WON'T say about your looks? Maybe women don't like to fluff our ego by telling us, and as a man, I tend to be very rough on mens looks (never thought Brad Pitt was that hot). Maybe in a round about way, its the men who may tell all.

Just some food for thought, don't want to hear the smart a** "thats gay" comments. I'm talking about hetersexuals commenting on hetersexuals.

 

[mrRuckus]

Get a girlfriend. Then pay attention who she glares at. Those are the women she caught looking at you who think you're hot.

 

[Nighthawk]

Men tend to assume that big muscles equals attractive. Many women are turned off by the body-builder look, finding it aesthetically unpleasant and signaling a lack of inner confidence.

Men are generally very poor at guessing what women want (exhibit A - this site) and imagine women cream themselves over Arnold Schwartznegger or Vin Diesel (gay, btw) and cannot understand why they might prefer some skinny emo kid (because in his own way the emo/punk/goth/weirdo is displaying more confidence and self-assuredness by rejecting societies norms).

Don't listen to what men (apart from me, ha) think women will find attractive, and only pay so much attention to what women say they find attractive. Look at the their actions - in your case it seems the women were responding to the confidence that big muscles gave you, and when you stopped believing you were attractive, so did they.

 

[mrRuckus]

cannot understand why they might prefer some skinny emo kid (because in his own way the emo/punk/goth/weirdo is displaying more confidence and self-assuredness by rejecting societies norms).

Um those people have usually already been rejected by mainstream society so they turn to each other and try to act a lot alike so they feel accepted somewhere.

They're not self assured or they'd be doing their own thing instead of what the rest of their herd is doing.

Men tend to assume that big muscles equals attractive. Many women are turned off by the body-builder look, finding it aesthetically unpleasant and signaling a lack of inner confidence.

These women can kiss my butt and put their amateur psych degrees somewhere unpleasant. Signals lack of inner confidence.. what the hell do they know? A few lack confidence, but how the hell can a woman make a sweeping generalization like that? Stereotypes are useful when they're at least true most of the time, unlike this. How many big strong guys that have women checking them out all the time lack confidence?

Are these the woman equivalent of the guys who stand around the bar saying to each other "man there's no hot chicks here" when there are plenty but they're really covering up the fact they probably can't get one? Not that there aren't women who aren't attracted to some measure of muscle mass...

I just want to make sure we're not talking about the huge monstrous guys but the fairly built ones, so i put this sentence here.

 

[Nighthawk]

By body-builder I mean getting unnaturally big, like Arnie. And I'm not saying no women like this, just that it's not the magic fix to getting women and in my 38 years I have heard many many many women say they don't find an over-built man attractive.

Having a nice body is of course an asset, though there are a huge number of women who prefer pale and skinny. Is Johnny Depp ripped? Does it matter to the millions of women who rate him the sexiest man alive?

As for the emo/punk/indie boys, as has been reported on this site, a lot of 'normal' babes go for this type. You are convinced they have been rejected by mainstream society, but if they believe they have chosen to opt-out and are confident in that choice, that's an attractive quality. They are also displaying a passion and belief system, one that suggests to a more depth than narcissistic gym-hitting to lots of women.

 

[white sox bill]

Um those people have usually already been rejected by mainstream society so they turn to each other and try to act a lot alike so they feel accepted somewhere.

They're not self assured or they'd be doing their own thing instead of what the rest of their herd is doing.




These women can kiss my butt and put their amateur psych degrees somewhere unpleasant. Signals lack of inner confidence.. what the hell do they know? A few lack confidence, but how the hell can a woman make a sweeping generalization like that? Stereotypes are useful when they're at least true most of the time, unlike this. How many big strong guys that have women checking them out all the time lack confidence?

Are these the woman equivalent of the guys who stand around the bar saying to each other "man there's no hot chicks here" when there are plenty but they're really covering up the fact they probably can't get one? Not that there aren't women who aren't attracted to some measure of muscle mass...

I just want to make sure we're not talking about the huge monstrous guys but the fairly built ones, so i put this sentence here.

True, over yrs I have had women say "Sorry I don't date jocks" I'm 5'9" and when bulked up weigh 225, now during summer I'm cut at 210. So no, I'm big, not huge. The best I've ever done was 5th in a multi-state contest many yrs ago.

 

[ScrewIt]

to answer your question, no. I think the majority of men are clueless to what women want. Women know, they just dont want to verbalize it.

by all means being built and big is an asset. you have the strenght to defend yourself and your woman compared to being slim/skinny. But in regards to what somewhat said about using muscles to compensate for lack of confidence, it could be true. No matter all the looks or muscles you have on you, if you dont have inner confidence then you might as well go hide under a rock.
There's nothing wrong with hitting the gym, it shows people that you're living a healthy life style and are physically active.
However, if you're doing it to gain the confidence you need...then you might need to look elsewhere. Having the confidence from the start and working to get big because it will be a plus is a different story.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

By body-builder I mean getting unnaturally big, like Arnie. And I'm not saying no women like this, just that it's not the magic fix to getting women and in my 38 years I have heard many many many women say they don't find an over-built man attractive.

Why you worry about Arnie? Arnie is a freak. Anybody who looks like Arnie is a freak. 99% of you guys will NEVER be as big as Arnie. He got that way bu using Steroids and by being blessed with good genetics. (and of course alot of hard work)

So don't worry bout how "big" you are.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

As for the emo/punk/indie boys, as has been reported on this site, a lot of 'normal' babes go for this type. You are convinced they have been rejected by mainstream society, but if they believe they have chosen to opt-out and are confident in that choice, that's an attractive quality. They are also displaying a passion and belief system, one that suggests to a more depth than narcissistic gym-hitting to lots of women.

Emo/punk/indie boys are like junk food. They may taste good for a while... but eventually you figure ot they're ****.

Worry bout yourself and being the best you can be. Who cares about some wussy little loser who spends time writing poetry, crying about how things are not fair, and wearing those stupid earings that look like cookies which stretch your earlobes. Seriously, what the f*ck is that 5hit?!!

Be the man you should be and take the 'babes' away from those losers.

 

[white sox bill]

Now since I was the orginal poster, attraction is a strange thing. Most of us would jump at the chance to bed down with the likes of Jessica Simpson, Heather Locklear, Miss September and so on. Most men can and do agree on whats hot and whats not-so-hot. But women seem to have "types" such as:

*The rock star, like Bon Jovi, longer hair, skinny, sings or plays guiter. Regardess of status, they want him
*The habitual pot smoker--he's kind of a bum, under or unemployed, high 24/7, but got some kickbutt Chronic
*The Cowboy--wears cowboy hat, rugged, drives big truck, wears jeans and flannel shirt. Digs counrtry music
*The jock (likely where I stand) Muscular and athletic, still plays lots of sports and is outgoing
*The Motorhead--loves NASCAR, has muscle car, is mecahnicallly inclined and is handy
*the partyier--likes to drink at least 4 times/week, is very social proof and is popular
*Yuppie--wears Polo shirts,preppy, has good paying job,maybe a tad metrosexual, is college educated

There are plenty of others not mentioned. Now one woman would say I love the Yuppie kind but turn her nose at the Rock star. Another would eat the rock star up but loath the jock. You get my point.

BTW, theres nothing wrong w/any of the above, in fact I have many features myself of some of them.

 

[Le Parisien]

Men tend to assume that big muscles equals attractive. Many women are turned off by the body-builder look, finding it aesthetically unpleasant and signaling a lack of inner confidence.

Exactly!!!

The same way some girls are so delusional that they think big boobs will just magically make them from UG4 to HB10.

We've all seen old/fat/ugly/short&stocky women who think they are the sh*t and all men want them simply because they have enormous boobs. They think the bigger the better, the bigger the boobs the hotter the girl... :crackup:

The same thing with some guys who think the more muscular the better, nothing else matters...

Sure there are women and men out there who will be turned on by the sole size of the boobs/muscles, nothing else matters, but these cases are few and far between...

 

[jt4aa]

Looks don't mean ****.

To a woman, attractiveness is defined by how many other girls are into you.

So if you look like Jabba the Hutt but have 2 girls hanging of your arms and several in tow, then you'll be deemed desirable.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Looks don't mean ****.

To a woman, attractiveness is defined by how many other girls are into you.

So if you look like Jabba the Hutt but have 2 girls hanging of your arms and several in tow, then you'll be deemed desirable.

You forgot to put the cash flow into the equation. That or fame works also.