Refuses to kiss me? WTF (am i doing something wrong)

[casanova]

I met this girl and she was a part of our social group she's really hot and she's a year younger than me but she's also really scared of being in a relationship her ex-boyfriend was the same zodiac sign as me like a Leo and in Turkey it's very controversial to talk about zodiac signs and everybody asks each other and it's a normal thing and so he gave her a bad impression of what a Leo is and like how our relationships work and they've dated for like a few months and they broke up and got back together 8 times. so I kind of ruined her trust and now we are official and we kissed once when I asked her out to be my girlfriend and I bought her flowers we hold hands now and it's kind of slow.

My other relationships were always like third date sex and this one I really like this girl and I just don't know why she's so slow so I kind of need help because every time I go in for a kiss or something and like a goodbye kiss like that was it like after a date or something she kind of refuses and gives me her cheek instead and I don't really know what to do and it's really annoying me. I might just break up soon because it's just going to slow.

Do I need to earn her trust more I have no idea please ask questions to learn about the girl more if you are curious.

 

[jaymbrs]

You just answered your own question. Your zodiac sign is attributed to a negative experience in her life.

 

[devilkingx2]

if she takes zodiac signs THAT seriously then she's a nutcase, even most of the websites won't tell you that every leo is basically the same

if she doesn't take them that seriously and the zodiac sign is an excuse, then she's low interest

either way you should go ghost, forget about her and pursue other girls, reconsider her if she comes back to you

 

[devilkingx2]

so I kind of ruined her trust and now we are official and we kissed once when I asked her out to be my girlfriend and I bought her flowers we hold hands now and it's kind of slow.

it was a pretty bad idea to become official and start buying her flowers so early on, are you kidding? lol. the only reason to become official for a girl who only gave you a kiss is if you're 12

 

[MrJack]

I met this girl and she was a part of our social group she's really hot and she's a year younger than me but she's also really scared of being in a relationship her ex-boyfriend was the same zodiac sign as me like a Leo and in Turkey it's very controversial to talk about zodiac signs and everybody asks each other and it's a normal thing and so he gave her a bad impression of what a Leo is and like how our relationships work and they've dated for like a few months and they broke up and got back together 8 times. so I kind of ruined her trust and now we are official and we kissed once when I asked her out to be my girlfriend and I bought her flowers we hold hands now and it's kind of slow.

My other relationships were always like third date sex and this one I really like this girl and I just don't know why she's so slow so I kind of need help because every time I go in for a kiss or something and like a goodbye kiss like that was it like after a date or something she kind of refuses and gives me her cheek instead and I don't really know what to do and it's really annoying me. I might just break up soon because it's just going to slow.

Do I need to earn her trust more I have no idea please ask questions to learn about the girl more if you are curious.

Yea definitely don’t be that typical blue pill flower buying guy especially so early on.

She’s being cautious I guess because of her last Leo boyfriend. Which is pure stupidity IMO. Who bases their decision whether to date someone based on something so insignificant like a zodiac sign? Ridiculous.

I have a couple thoughts on the kissing thing based on some of my past experiences

1. Are you a smoker while she isn’t? I had a plate early this year that I would fvck but whenever I would go to kiss her/makeout, she would do the same thing and turn her cheek. After a couple times of her doing this I just straight up asked her what was up with that and that she wouldn’t hurt my feelings. She said it was because of the smoking. I remember dating a smoker back in the day while I was not a smoker and making out did not leave a good taste in my mouth lol. Guess I didn’t really think about it.

2. She could be just playing you and she’s still talking with/investing in her ex bf while “exclusive” with you to make him jealous. That’s why she’s keeping you around. You are in LTR with her and haven’t fvcked yet and she won’t even accept a goodbye kiss?? That is bullshvt and absolutely screams low interest.

Story time:

My most recent LTR was the one that destroyed my poor little blue pill heart the most and for the last time. Which led me here.

That relationship sounds exactly like yours right now. She had an ex bf that she was on and off with (breaking up, back together, breaking up). I was the one who asked for exclusivity at first which I’m guessing is what you did because a girl would not ask for that if she doesn’t even want a simple peck on the lips from you... unless she’s bipolar af.

Anyways we did the same shyt. Took it super slow, held hands, I paid for dates mostly with her chipping in rarely, we would makeout but that was mostly the extent of it. She gave me JUST ENOUGH sex to keep me around and would be generally indifferent the rest of the time. We dated for like 2-3 months and I fvcked her about 5 times (smh).

Long story short it ended with her texting me saying her grandpa was dying in a hospital back in her home country outside of the U.S. where we both currently live and she was going to be gone for the next week or so to “be with family” lol. Didn’t hear a word from her for a couple days so my blue pill crazy self decided to take a little drive past the house she nanny’ed at and sure enough there was her car.

I took all the shyt she had left at my house (some clothes, makeup, etc.) and smashed/dumped it on her driveway and drove off. That was the end of that.

My naive self finally put it together that the reason I wasn’t getting any action from her was because she was getting it from someone else the whole time.. aka most likely the ex bf.

I know I kind of went off on a tangent there but the main point is this:

Be weary of a woman USING you for her own personal twisted reasons.

How old are you?

My advice is this: Either dump her or tell her you can’t be with someone who doesn’t even want to kiss/makeout/have sex and see if her attitude changes. If it doesn’t then you gave her the chance and she didn’t take it, so dump her.

Don’t let it progress and destroy you like I did.

 

[casanova]

Yea definitely don’t be that typical blue pill flower buying guy especially so early on.
She’s eing cautious I guess because of her last Leo boyfriend. Which is pure stupidity IMO. Who bases their decision whether to date someone based on something so insignificant like a zodiac sign? Ridiculous.
I have a couple thoughts on the kissing thing based on some of my past experiences
1. Are you a smoker while she isn’t? I had a plate early this year that I would fvck but whenever I would go to kiss her/makeout, she would do the same thing and turn her cheek. After a couple times of her doing this I just straight up asked her what was up with that and that she wouldn’t hurt my feelings. She said it was because of the smoking. I remember dating a smoker back in the day while I was not a smoker and making out did not leave a good taste in my mouth lol. Guess I didn’t really think about it.
2. She could be just playing you and she’s still talking with/investing in her ex bf while “exclusive” with you to make him jealous. That’s why she’s keeping you around. You are in LTR with her and haven’t fvcked yet and she won’t even accept a goodbye kiss?? That is bullshvt and absolutely screams low interest.Story time:My most recent LTR was the one that destroyed my poor little blue pill heart the most and for the last time. Which led me here.That relationship sounds exactly like yours right now. She had an ex bf that she was on and off with (breaking up, back together, breaking up). I was the one who asked for exclusivity at first which I’m guessing is what you did because a girl would not ask for that if she doesn’t even want a simple peck on the lips from you... unless she’s bipolar af.
Anyways we did the same shyt. Took it super slow, held hands, I paid for dates mostly with her chipping in rarely, we would makeout but that was mostly the extent of it. She gave me JUST ENOUGH sex to keep me around and would be generally indifferent the rest of the time. We dated for like 2-3 months and I fvcked her about 5 times (smh).
Long story short it ended with her texting me saying her grandpa was dying in a hospital back in her home country outside of the U.S. where we both currently live and she was going to be gone for the next week or so to “be with family” lol. Didn’t hear a word from her for a couple days so my blue pill crazy self decided to take a little drive past the house she nanny’ed at and sure enough there was her car.
I took all the shyt she had left at my house (some clothes, makeup, etc.) and smashed/dumped it on her driveway and drove off. That was the end of that.My naive self finally put it together that the reason I wasn’t getting any action from her was because she was getting it from someone else thewhole time.. aka most likely the ex bf.I know I kind of went off on a tangent there but the main point is this:
Be weary of a woman USING you for her own personal twisted reasons.How old are you?
My advice is this: Either dump her or tell her you can’t be with someone who doesn’t even want to kiss/makeout/have sex and see if her attitude changes. If it doesn’t then you gave her the chance and she didn’t take it, so dump her.
Don’t let it progress and destroy you like I did.

Wow this is really thoughtful, thanks for a reply like this. Yeah, i fell into the trap of being attached too early on if not at all. Should fix that, i've had many girls that I had sex with before and they were very open to everything, making out, sex, kissing all of that. This girl is very hesitant and likes to take it slow for some reason and it's bothering me a lot.

the zodiac sign was in the beginning but she now trusts me and we're good. it's my birthday in 2 days i'm turning 18 and she's currently 17. we are both smokers and she isn't talking to any other guys as far as I know. and i honestly think she wouldn't lie to me i'm going to trust my instincts on this one but i'll be careful.

i'm going to be patient because this is her second relationship (lmao) and idk how far she even went so i'm super skeptical. im going to wait, do you think i should expect anything for my brithday? normally i got birthday sex but right now this girl is so scared idk if i should even be expecting a pec on the fvcking lips.

What do you think I should do, i thought out a few scenarios. 1) try to kiss her again and if she doesnt then imma ask her why and ill tell her what you told me, ill tell her i am not interested and if she sticks around ill be cool with that. 2) my birthday will be in a club and we'll be drunk so, i can try to work my magic but give me something to think about while im drunk, maybe i should have a plan to do something with her.

well it's only been a month but people tell me im in a hurry, personally i dont think i am and she's not giving it. Please reply.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

You need to pay more attention to indications of interest, and more specifically, during the date, that she actually wants to kiss you too. It should happen naturally, and not in a way that you're forcing her to kiss you. When you recognise the moment, you go for it. Smooth guys don't randomly go around trying to kiss women. They can recognise when a woman wants to be kissed.

Also learn better how to escalate, by reducing physical space between you and touching.

 

[greatsnake]

Build momentum

 

[marmel75]

I met this girl and she was a part of our social group she's really hot and she's a year younger than me but she's also really scared of being in a relationship her ex-boyfriend was the same zodiac sign as me like a Leo and in Turkey it's very controversial to talk about zodiac signs and everybody asks each other and it's a normal thing and so he gave her a bad impression of what a Leo is and like how our relationships work and they've dated for like a few months and they broke up and got back together 8 times. so I kind of ruined her trust and now we are official and we kissed once when I asked her out to be my girlfriend and I bought her flowers we hold hands now and it's kind of slow.

My other relationships were always like third date sex and this one I really like this girl and I just don't know why she's so slow so I kind of need help because every time I go in for a kiss or something and like a goodbye kiss like that was it like after a date or something she kind of refuses and gives me her cheek instead and I don't really know what to do and it's really annoying me. I might just break up soon because it's just going to slow.

Do I need to earn her trust more I have no idea please ask questions to learn about the girl more if you are curious.

Merhaba, nasilsiniz? Babam Istanbullu.

Honestly it seems like she isn't physically attracted to you. Maybe she likes you and you fill some type of void in her life right now but it doesnt appear she wants it to be the sexual void...

 

[devilkingx2]

and she isn't talking to any other guys as far as I know. and i honestly think she wouldn't lie to me

Oh boy...

i'm going to be patient because this is her second relationship (lmao) and idk how far she even went so i'm super skeptical. im going to wait, do you think i should expect anything for my brithday? normally i got birthday sex but right now this girl is so scared idk if i should even be expecting a pec on the fvcking lips.

There are 3 possibilities here:

1. She is shy and conservative for some reason, whether her parents are scary or because she's young or because she's a virgin or because she's very religious

2. She's a basket case for some reason, perhaps her ex was abusive or she got raped or something. Something that's fvcking her up mentally, maybe she grew up in some backwater religious place that would have you stoned if you made eye contact with a guy before marriage

3. She's just not very into you at all, stringing you along and wasting your time while she cheats or until she dumps you or until she friendzones you or preparing to branch swing

It's up to you to figure out which one it is. But basically I'd dump her in all 3 cases and the only one of those 3 that could ever work out for you is the first one

 

[wifehunter]

forget about her for awhile...you seem fixated. Meet other girls.

 

[casanova]

Oh boy..

1. She is shy and conservative for some reason, whether her parents are scary or because she's young or because she's a virgin or because she's very religious

2. She's a basket case for some reason, perhaps her ex was abusive or she got raped or something. Something that's fvcking her up mentally, maybe she grew up in some backwater religious place that would have you stoned if you made eye contact with a guy before marriage

3. She's just not very into you at all, stringing you along and wasting your time while she cheats or until she dumps you or until she friendzones you or preparing to branch swing

It's up to you to figure out which one it is. But basically I'd dump her in all 3 cases and the only one of those 3 that could ever work out for you is the first one

1. She is probably shy, her parents are open to everything and shes a virgin for sure.
2. She mightve been abused by her boyfriend, he was a very emotional guy and would uncontrollably get angry.
3. The thing is she always posts instagram stories and tells others that im her boyfriend and i never see her with other guys, i checked her phone and all of her friends know us as dating so i doubt im the orbiter, she's into me and she gets physical but it's sooo 1st grade stuff. like face squeezing, kissing my cheek and like holding my hand its annoying me at this point.

 

[MrJack]

Wow this is really thoughtful, thanks for a reply like this. Yeah, i fell into the trap of being attached too early on if not at all. Should fix that, i've had many girls that I had sex with before and they were very open to everything, making out, sex, kissing all of that. This girl is very hesitant and likes to take it slow for some reason and it's bothering me a lot.

the zodiac sign was in the beginning but she now trusts me and we're good. it's my birthday in 2 days i'm turning 18 and she's currently 17. we are both smokers and she isn't talking to any other guys as far as I know. and i honestly think she wouldn't lie to me i'm going to trust my instincts on this one but i'll be careful.

i'm going to be patient because this is her second relationship (lmao) and idk how far she even went so i'm super skeptical. im going to wait, do you think i should expect anything for my brithday? normally i got birthday sex but right now this girl is so scared idk if i should even be expecting a pec on the fvcking lips.

What do you think I should do, i thought out a few scenarios. 1) try to kiss her again and if she doesnt then imma ask her why and ill tell her what you told me, ill tell her i am not interested and if she sticks around ill be cool with that. 2) my birthday will be in a club and we'll be drunk so, i can try to work my magic but give me something to think about while im drunk, maybe i should have a plan to do something with her.

well it's only been a month but people tell me im in a hurry, personally i dont think i am and she's not giving it. Please reply.

Wow this is really thoughtful, thanks for a reply like this. Yeah, i fell into the trap of being attached too early on if not at all. Should fix that, i've had many girls that I had sex with before and they were very open to everything, making out, sex, kissing all of that. This girl is very hesitant and likes to take it slow for some reason and it's bothering me a lot.

No problem bro, you remind me a bit of myself when I was 18 so I'm glad to help where I can. I'm 25 now just for reference.
Everything I say from here on out is from the standpoint that she is NOT a super conservative/religious girl NOR a virgin because in that case, the whole sex thing is new to her and its natural for her to be all hesitant and move slowly like she has been. So we will put that aside. Although, the not kissing on the lips thing while being exclusive is still a red flag regardless. How long has she been a part of your social circle? You must have seen her and her ex bf together here and there if she has been a part of your social circle for a decent amount of time, no? Was she kissing HIM on the lips? How long were they dating for and how long has it been since they broke up? You might not know the answers to these questions but it would help knowing to better gauge the situation. High School is weird in the way that some girls just get all depressed and don't want to hop on another c0ck right after a breakup because they lost their "true love" if they were dating for a long time. Lulz. Could be the reason she's taking it slow.. but thats also a bad thing because it means her ex bf is still occupying too much space in her head at the moment which most times equals low interest for the next guy till they are finally done crying themselves to sleep over the ex.

the zodiac sign was in the beginning but she now trusts me and we're good. it's my birthday in 2 days i'm turning 18 and she's currently 17. we are both smokers and she isn't talking to any other guys as far as I know. and i honestly think she wouldn't lie to me i'm going to trust my instincts on this one but i'll be careful.

Okay so we can scrap the smokers breath theory. It's usually a good thing to always trust your instincts but if you think you are the ONLY guy she is talking to and that she wouldn't lie to you.. you are sadly mistaken my friend. She may not be talking to all other guys sexually, but make no mistake, if she is considered a 7/10 or better... she is getting hit up by other dudes and she is loving the attention. Again, she might not be acting on any of it but its definitely happening. And women will say ANYTHING to make you believe what they want you to believe, especially if they have low interest but want to keep you in their orbit for attention and possible future options. I don't know how long you have been on his forum but one of the most basic "rules" is to ALWAYS pay attention/listen to her ACTIONS rather than what she SAYS. It will tell you a lot more about her true thoughts.

i'm going to be patient because this is her second relationship (lmao) and idk how far she even went so i'm super skeptical. im going to wait, do you think i should expect anything for my brithday? normally i got birthday sex but right now this girl is so scared idk if i should even be expecting a pec on the fvcking lips.

It's her second relationship ever so thats kind of tricky. I don't know the girl so I don't know if she is just THAT inexperienced or she's using you, but always err on the side of caution based on her actions thus far. As far as it being your birthday, that has generally always meant birthday sex in my experience as well. We could probably put this to rest right now... if she doesn't even kiss you on the lips on your own birthday then just dump her. Absolutely no woman on this earth is worth that time and effort.

What do you think I should do, i thought out a few scenarios. 1) try to kiss her again and if she doesnt then imma ask her why and ill tell her what you told me, ill tell her i am not interested and if she sticks around ill be cool with that. 2) my birthday will be in a club and we'll be drunk so, i can try to work my magic but give me something to think about while im drunk, maybe i should have a plan to do something with her.

well it's only been a month but people tell me im in a hurry, personally i dont think i am and she's not giving it. Please reply.

Here's how I would play it, given the current scenario:

Go to the club get drunk do your thing and just enjoy your birthday. At some point after grabbing a drink(s), get to the dance floor and start grinding with her, maybe twirl her a couple times lol. But get sexual when you are grinding. I don't know how you folks in Turkey do things, but over here in the U.S. in a club setting, we pretty much dance like we are fvcking with clothes on lol. It's one big sexual tease IMO but it's obviously fun.

Maybe don't grab her pvssy or b00bs like you're about to fvck her or something but as you are dancing, glide your hands along her body (hips, butt, just under her b00bs). If youre grinding with her facing away from you, grab her hand twirl her so that you are facing eachother (while still dancing) then reach back behind her head, grab her hair, give it a light tug. Then glide that same hand around to the side of her face with some of your fingers still intertwined with her hair and just go for the makeout. You dont have to do the hair pulling you could just twirl her around pull her head towards yours and go for the makeout.

(I know I know that was oddly specific but I like details and thats my general routine when I am in a club setting, sue me )

All these grinding tips show that you are a dominant man and she will get the sense you are also dominant in bed, which is what 99% of women want and like.

(My most recent ex who I told you the story about.. The first time we fvcked was a night we went out to my buddy's frat party and they made the basement into this dark club type vibe with a bunch of lights and super loud music. I started dancing with her and was very sexual in my dancing and so was she. I did all the things I mentioned above and she all the sudden was "feeling it" with me a lot more for the rest of the night and we went back to my parents house and fvcked.)

Now this next part is very important:

If at any time during your sexual escalation with the dancing... she decides to stop your advances (hand gliding on her body, grabbing her azz, etc.) or if all that goes well but when you go for the makeout she denies you again... just dump her on the spot. Either say what I told you to say before or just say "I don't think you and I are going to work out" and at that point just leave her on the dance floor and enjoy the rest of your night. Go grab another drink find your buddies and converse with them AND/OR go find another chick to dance with who will appreciate your masculinity and give you what you want for your birthday.

1 of 2 things will happen at this point:

1. She will call it quits too, wont care (although her ego might take a minor shot) and the two of you will be done.

OR (and this is my favorite one)

2. She will change her attitude because she now knows you are WILLING TO WALK AWAY from her and her bullshvt and she will fight for your attention and treat you like the king you deserve to be treated as. And if you play it cool and the gods bless you with a tiny sprinkle of luck, you will end up fvcking her that night if the logistics line up correctly.

If # 1 happens, then in future social circle hangouts where she is present, don't give her any attention. I'm not saying be rude because you will come across as butthurt. But just act platonic towards her in any interactions you may have with her to solidify in her head that you are no longer interested.. because you shouldn't be. Give the other women in your social circle your sexual vibes/attention and let her realize and wallow in the fact that she just lost a good opportunity.

Good luck and happy birthday.

 

[devilkingx2]

1. She is probably shy, her parents are open to everything and shes a virgin for sure.
2. She mightve been abused by her boyfriend, he was a very emotional guy and would uncontrollably get angry.
3. The thing is she always posts instagram stories and tells others that im her boyfriend and i never see her with other guys, i checked her phone and all of her friends know us as dating so i doubt im the orbiter, she's into me and she gets physical but it's sooo 1st grade stuff. like face squeezing, kissing my cheek and like holding my hand its annoying me at this point.

Sounds like for the most part there's no ulterior motives or foul play here. You'll just have to be extremely patient with her like when you were 14 and had to wait months for sex long after being "in love"

This is pretty much the path you chose when you went for a 17 year old virgin and not a 19 year old party girl lol

If you want to speed this up get her drunk at night and run dread by chatting up other girls in the day

 

[Dingo]

Do you really believe in zodiac signs... ?...

Red flag right there... Lol

 

[casanova]

No problem bro, you remind me a bit of myself when I was 18 so I'm glad to help where I can. I'm 25 now just for reference.
Everything I say from here on out is from the standpoint that she is NOT a super conservative/religious girl NOR a virgin because in that case, the whole sex thing is new to her and its natural for her to be all hesitant and move slowly like she has been. So we will put that aside. Although, the not kissing on the lips thing while being exclusive is still a red flag regardless. How long has she been a part of your social circle? You must have seen her and her ex bf together here and there if she has been a part of your social circle for a decent amount of time, no? Was she kissing HIM on the lips? How long were they dating for and how long has it been since they broke up? You might not know the answers to these questions but it would help knowing to better gauge the situation. High School is weird in the way that some girls just get all depressed and don't want to hop on another c0ck right after a breakup because they lost their "true love" if they were dating for a long time. Lulz. Could be the reason she's taking it slow.. but thats also a bad thing because it means her ex bf is still occupying too much space in her head at the moment which most times equals low interest for the next guy till they are finally done crying themselves to sleep over the ex.

Her boyfriend and her broke up like 5-6 months ago, and the first i've seen this girl was under 3 months ago so i've never seen her with her ex before. They dated for 8 months and she might just be taking precautions and testing me.

She comments hearts and other flirty things on other guys instagram pages but EVERYONE knows that we are together and they are scared of me and they act like a sister in law with her. (cuz im the buff guy, lmao).

i will try what you told me at the club, if id doesnt work im just gonna have to dump her, it's going to be really awkward to dump her on the spot there and its really loud in the club, what if i do it the day after? maybe talk to her in person about it or just question everything she is doing that bothers me to make sure theres nothing left?

 

[MrJack]

Her boyfriend and her broke up like 5-6 months ago, and the first i've seen this girl was under 3 months ago so i've never seen her with her ex before. They dated for 8 months and she might just be taking precautions and testing me.

She comments hearts and other flirty things on other guys instagram pages but EVERYONE knows that we are together and they are scared of me and they act like a sister in law with her. (cuz im the buff guy, lmao).

i will try what you told me at the club, if id doesnt work im just gonna have to dump her, it's going to be really awkward to dump her on the spot there and its really loud in the club, what if i do it the day after? maybe talk to her in person about it or just question everything she is doing that bothers me to make sure theres nothing left?

Yea she should be completely over him then. I guess you could wait till the next day to spare the high school drama that would ensue after dumping her on the spot and possibly ruin your birthday.

But honestly if she rejects your kiss again at the club and you just accept that like it’s okay then you’re just chilling in her frame. You’re letting her control the relationship which is a no-no.

Just enjoy the night. Sometimes you just need to ask straight up instead of keeping things inside because it’s just going to boil up and won’t end well in the long run anyways.

So yea, the next day just be completely straightforward with her and ask her what the deal is with the no kissing. If you feel in your gut that she is bullshvtting you then dump her. If she’s actually this conservative virgin girl then idk maybe try with her a little longer if you really want to be in an LTR with her but speaking from my perspective at this point in my life, she’s simply not worth it. Plenty of other women that are ready and willing that won’t give you all these hoops to jump through.