Reformed alcoholic, could use some advice

[AlphaNate]

Hello, men!

I've posted in another thread about my progress with quitting drinking and getting my body back where I want it, so I won't go into that. At 47 days sober, there are a couple things I could use some advice on.

1. Some activities that don't involve drinking. I live near Charlotte, so I have access to a big city, but all my previous activities I enjoyed revolved around alcohol. All of them. I'm really not sure where to start. Obviously, I'd like a place I can cold approach women, so preferably a social environment.
2. Dating. I used to start with taking the girl out for a drink. It was simple and didn't push much commitment from a first date. Basically, it kept things light. What do I do now? I don't want to start taking girls out to expensive dinners, since that'll just make me come off as a sucker. I could take the girl out for a drink and just have a diet soda, but is that odd? I genuinely don't know, as this is all new ground for me.

Thanks for reading!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hello, men!

I've posted in another thread about my progress with quitting drinking and getting my body back where I want it, so I won't go into that. At 47 days sober, there are a couple things I could use some advice on.

1. Some activities that don't involve drinking. I live near Charlotte, so I have access to a big city, but all my previous activities I enjoyed revolved around alcohol. All of them. I'm really not sure where to start. Obviously, I'd like a place I can cold approach women, so preferably a social environment.
2. Dating. I used to start with taking the girl out for a drink. It was simple and didn't push much commitment from a first date. Basically, it kept things light. What do I do now? I don't want to start taking girls out to expensive dinners, since that'll just make me come off as a sucker. I could take the girl out for a drink and just have a diet soda, but is that odd? I genuinely don't know, as this is all new ground for me.

Thanks for reading!

Health and fitness and actual FUN activities other than drinking. Roller skating, amusement park, shooting range, sporting events, poker or bridge, etc.

For drinking I'd still say take them to drink but you order soda or seven up with cranberry juice or something that looks like a drink. It's always good to get at least two drinks into a lady whose responding to you.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

How much were you drinking before? Is quitting completely absolutely necessary? It's not easy to quit for good, but do what you need to do.

I am weaning myself off, but not quitting. Getting to the point now where I can go out once every couple of weeks and only have two or three drinks, and probably the same on a date. This is compared to a year or two ago, when I could easy have 5-10 drinks a night for ten days straight.

1) I am playing sports, going to shows and trying different cultural experiences. I am fortunate because I am in London where there is something to do 24/7. There's plenty to do other than drink; half the battle is actually wanting to do something else and actually enjoying it for what it is while being sober.

2) Same as above; if you're in a big city, there should be plenty going on. Just find things to do, they don't have to be elaborate or expensive, and invite a girl to join you.

 

[AlphaNate]

How much were you drinking before? Is quitting completely absolutely necessary? It's not easy to quit for good, but do what you need to do.

Yes, necessary. I was blacking out every day. I'd be higher than 47 days, but I tried and failed at moderation for a while.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes, necessary. I was blacking out every day. I'd be higher than 47 days, but I tried and failed at moderation for a while.

I quit for 18 months thought I'd return as an occasional drinker. It didn't take even a few weeks to get as bad as I was before. This time I'm 4.5 months in, feel GREAT and in the best visual shape in my life.

 

[AlphaNate]

Awesome!

 

[AlphaNate]

I'm not tormented. It was a lot harder when I was trying to quit, but I'm stable at this point with no interest in going back to that. I've been out in drinking environments and haven't had a problem, even when everyone I was with was drinking.

My opinion, focus on your day game. Make that your bread and butter.

I like this.