reentered the dating word - rookie question

[Albatross953]

So I ditched the attention whre from my other thread. I've seen five women this month. But it raised a question maybe you can answer. One these women is about forty, divorced, athletic. From what I can see, all her IOIs are high. We had our third date in two weeks last night. Constant IOIs. Drives out of her way. Touchy feelly. Texts me easily twice what I do. Anyway, third date at my place, I make dinner and later I drag her into my room for three hours. The sex is good, not perfect but we're figuring things out. We're both happy, I think she had about 900 orgasms. We're laying there before she leaves just laughing and talking and she said some things that strike me as odd. Like it's confession time. "I never loved my husband" "I have these stretch marks" "I destroyed your bed" (she did if you follow). I listened but didn't really make a big deal of any of it.
She leaves happy, all IOIs. I'm thinking she'd make a great plate. She's insatiable.
This morning after good morning, I get the "we're moving too fast, I'm not feeling it" text. I responded "no pressure, you know where I am"

Now too questions. She turned on a dime. Why? Do you see a way to recover? Because my gut tells me take the sex as a win.... your princess is in another castle.

And why the confessions? I've seen this from other women. Is it self loathing? Are they looking for me to disqualify them so they don't have to end things? Why do her actions to this point say YES and now her words say no?

Sorry, I know these are bush league questions, take the sex and move on.

 

[bcude]

Why do her actions to this point say YES and now her words say no?

Always look at her actions and not what she says if you want to know her real intentions.

Who knows why she turned on a dime, women are driven by their emotions and hormones which fluctuate from day to day and often times don't make sense from a logical standpoint.
Her confessions sound like insecurity and i'm sure they're genuine.
Amazing what women will tell you about themselves if you just listen. You don't even have to ask them to give you their blueprint.
This is what you get when dealing with divorced 40 year olds, emotionally damaged and full of baggage. My guess is that she probably had some bad experiences in this area before but since you handled it well don't be surprised if she calls you up sooner rather than later to hang out again.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

So I ditched the attention whre from my other thread. I've seen five women this month. But it raised a question maybe you can answer. One these women is about forty, divorced, athletic. From what I can see, all her IOIs are high. We had our third date in two weeks last night. Constant IOIs. Drives out of her way. Touchy feelly. Texts me easily twice what I do. Anyway, third date at my place, I make dinner and later I drag her into my room for three hours. The sex is good, not perfect but we're figuring things out. We're both happy, I think she had about 900 orgasms. We're laying there before she leaves just laughing and talking and she said some things that strike me as odd. Like it's confession time. "I never loved my husband" "I have these stretch marks" "I destroyed your bed" (she did if you follow). I listened but didn't really make a big deal of any of it.
She leaves happy, all IOIs. I'm thinking she'd make a great plate. She's insatiable.
This morning after good morning, I get the "we're moving too fast, I'm not feeling it" text. I responded "no pressure, you know where I am"

Now too questions. She turned on a dime. Why? Do you see a way to recover? Because my gut tells me take the sex as a win.... your princess is in another castle.

And why the confessions? I've seen this from other women. Is it self loathing? Are they looking for me to disqualify them so they don't have to end things? Why do her actions to this point say YES and now her words say no?

Sorry, I know these are bush league questions, take the sex and move on.

Anti-slut defense causing cognitive dissonance with her identity.
Classic push-pull and doesn’t want to be judged (even though she’s judging herself)

As for her statement about her husband, more of a backward rationalization.

Moving too fast statement is an attempt at hook, for a longer term deal.

 

[Albatross953]

Thanks guys, I'm too old for this ****e.

Mrgoodstuff, you have anything too add? Is my thinking on track? You had some good insights on my last thread.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thanks guys, I'm too old for this ****e.

Mrgoodstuff, you have anything too add? Is my thinking on track? You had some good insights on my last thread.

The basics I've been reiterating for a while now.

1. Females choose. No need to chase.
2. Female must invest. Meaning she have very high interest. She must invest Time, attention, money, sex. She will come to you.
3. Sex early and often. Of course they date multiples. But if your in line your settling. Theres always one dude she desires who she gives her best to. Sex is how they show they really like us
4. Female will climb a mountain for The man they really desire. Stalking and bothering him.

The 4 c's ( player supreme ):
1. Car
2. Crib
3. Clothes
4. Convo

Image is important.

Social circle rules. Attached to circles the circle will work for you and babes will come your way.

Know your meat market and target audience.

It's all easy.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Whats

Thanks guys, I'm too old for this ****e.

Mrgoodstuff, you have anything too add? Is my thinking on track? You had some good insights on my last thread.

What's your age. No matter what it is getting your SMV sorted out creates more interest and desire even in an LTR. So build it. Feed it.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

So I ditched the attention whre from my other thread. I've seen five women this month. But it raised a question maybe you can answer. One these women is about forty, divorced, athletic. From what I can see, all her IOIs are high. We had our third date in two weeks last night. Constant IOIs. Drives out of her way. Touchy feelly. Texts me easily twice what I do. Anyway, third date at my place, I make dinner and later I drag her into my room for three hours. The sex is good, not perfect but we're figuring things out. We're both happy, I think she had about 900 orgasms. We're laying there before she leaves just laughing and talking and she said some things that strike me as odd. Like it's confession time. "I never loved my husband" "I have these stretch marks" "I destroyed your bed" (she did if you follow). I listened but didn't really make a big deal of any of it.
She leaves happy, all IOIs. I'm thinking she'd make a great plate. She's insatiable.
This morning after good morning, I get the "we're moving too fast, I'm not feeling it" text. I responded "no pressure, you know where I am"

Now too questions. She turned on a dime. Why? Do you see a way to recover? Because my gut tells me take the sex as a win.... your princess is in another castle.

And why the confessions? I've seen this from other women. Is it self loathing? Are they looking for me to disqualify them so they don't have to end things? Why do her actions to this point say YES and now her words say no?

Sorry, I know these are bush league questions, take the sex and move on.

Women are vulnerable when they trust you. They open up. Rather than ignore her confessions or show disgust or disinterest you should indulge her and show some validation. In my mind this is a bet on red. She is bringing things on her mind and asking for your judgement because she values it, she wants your validation or direction. If you don't give good judgement or don't care to judge then she'll naturally retract and see the encounter as kind of hollow.

Her: "I never loved my husband"
Then I never want to hear about him again tell me what you DO love.

"I have these stretch marks"
(Personally I love stretch marks on or around the ass)
Those are my favorite kind *grab her ass*

If the stretch marks are around her belly or you find them unattractive then change the subject to something positive.

"I destroyed your bed"
Next time we'll lay down a tarp

When you constantly radiate this positive aura the women that notice and enjoy it want to bask in it. The women that turn away are self loathing. If your goal is a genuine deep connection then it's healthy to cultivate the playful confident positive attitude and impress that on her to mold her in your image. If this positivity doesn't come naturally and you're forcing it then ask yourself why. Is she hitting some pet peeves? Or are you naturally more of a downer? If it's the latter then maybe some inner work is required.

If your goal is just sex then I feel you wouldn't have made a thread

Personally I enjoy charming women, even if I don't see something long term with them. They glow in my presence and do anything for me. It's fun to blow their minds and ask for nothing in return. They can't help but fall head over heels in love. The bonuses are vast, from new connections she's eager to introduce to me to social status on speed dial if I want to go to an event.

Get creative, open up, and enjoy yourself. True masculinity is uninhibited vulnerability because it's self validated.

 

[Albatross953]

I'm 47, in good shape, nice house, truck, money in the bank.
Objectively the IOIs she was showing make sense.

Haven't dated for three years, concentrated on other things. Low tolerance for BS.

My informal goal would be 2-3 plates. Last woman standing that I like the most might be a ltr.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm 47, in good shape, nice house, truck, money in the bank.
Objectively the IOIs she was showing make sense.

Haven't dated for three years, concentrated on other things. Low tolerance for BS.

My informal goal would be 2-3 plates. Last woman standing that I like the most might be a ltr.

Women in the dating game even at your ( our ) age love to complete. They won't value you as much if you have nothing else going on. Don't date to try to find a gf or wife. Date for fun ( attraction and sexual interest must exist early on ).

 

[RickTheToad]

So I ditched the attention whre from my other thread. I've seen five women this month. But it raised a question maybe you can answer. One these women is about forty, divorced, athletic. From what I can see, all her IOIs are high. We had our third date in two weeks last night. Constant IOIs. Drives out of her way. Touchy feelly. Texts me easily twice what I do. Anyway, third date at my place, I make dinner and later I drag her into my room for three hours. The sex is good, not perfect but we're figuring things out. We're both happy, I think she had about 900 orgasms. We're laying there before she leaves just laughing and talking and she said some things that strike me as odd. Like it's confession time. "I never loved my husband" "I have these stretch marks" "I destroyed your bed" (she did if you follow). I listened but didn't really make a big deal of any of it.
She leaves happy, all IOIs. I'm thinking she'd make a great plate. She's insatiable.
This morning after good morning, I get the "we're moving too fast, I'm not feeling it" text. I responded "no pressure, you know where I am"

Now too questions. She turned on a dime. Why? Do you see a way to recover? Because my gut tells me take the sex as a win.... your princess is in another castle.

And why the confessions? I've seen this from other women. Is it self loathing? Are they looking for me to disqualify them so they don't have to end things? Why do her actions to this point say YES and now her words say no?

Sorry, I know these are bush league questions, take the sex and move on.

You re-entered the dating world during near nationwide lock down? Great time to do so.

 

[Albatross953]

Rick you're not wrong. But three weeks ago life was pretty normal.

 

[CopperHead]

You re-entered the dating world during near nationwide lock down? Great time to do so.

I'm right there with you on this. Just got out of a LTR. I'm trying to get back into the game. Bam the country is shut down.

 

[Albatross953]

Thanks very much for the advice. I'm going to give it a week and then maybe hit her up. Not sure how, and a week to think will probably change my mind. This should be a home run. She SHOULD be doing the work here.

I'm going to vent here because I can't anywhere else. No one in real life would get it.
I stopped dating a few years ago when my career fell apart. I fought my way back, but watched a previously adoring girlfriend walk away when my prospects looked bleak.
I'm tired of the bs.
I'm tired of watching blue pill guys at work. I hate, pity, envy them all at the same time. I wish I was still one of them. Drip fed sex and don't know any better.
I'm tired of being good looking, affluent, charming and having women act like they're the prize.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of holding frame all the time. Never being vulnerable. Never letting your guard down because the moment you do, you're done.
I'm tired of watching my cheating ex-wife manipulate her AFC fiance and pay no penalties in life. Watching all women act this way. I wish I could cough up the red pill. Maybe that way I wouldn't see it so clearly.

I'm not stupid. I know this all comes across as thirst. Inner game. Self esteem. Work to do. The question I'm asking myself is why do it? Most of these women aren't worth the effort. It's like digging through the bargain bin. All the good ones got and stayed married.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

The question I'm asking myself is why do it?

Simply because you’re a man and you do it for you.

It’s a ‘you with you’ conversation, leave women out of it. You’ll know when you are doing the work, the quality ones get attracted. It’s easy to mistake that as the goal.

You, yourself are the prize from square one, it ripples out from ’here’ <- tap yourself in your solar plexus.

 

[Kotaix]

I don't know if there are any rational choices being made here. Almost all people are deeply insecure about themselves.

I've come across many women who will blurt out their insecurities in that manner. If you honestly think that she's sexy, she'll believe you if you tell her she's sexy and the problem will go away until she needs to be told so again. It also helps to monitor them for body language signs of stress like hand rubbing, hand wringing or other repetitive motions and nip the behavior in the bud when you see it. Either take her hand or talk to her about something to get her mind off whatever she was thinking of.

Give her time, she may reach out to you again. You shouldn't care why she did a 180, it's wasted energy.

 

[Suave88]

Always look at her actions and not what she says if you want to know her real intentions.

There are women that even when they lie, never tell you the truth.

 

[Glassguy]

This morning after good morning, I get the "we're moving too fast, I'm not feeling it" text. I responded "no pressure, you know where I am"

Now too questions. She turned on a dime. Why? Do you see a way to recover? Because my gut tells me take the sex as a win...

The wiser I get, the more I believe the appropriate response to ANYTHING like this is:

"OK".

Thats it. Who knows what she is thinking. You dont know and we certainly dont know. I will tell you for CERTAIN that a smart woman will set the mouse trap to see how you handle the bait. They do things like this to see how you react. Do you act Alpha? Beta? Somewhere in between? She could want to know how invested you are in her. Will you freak out? Beg her? Not respond at all? Act butthurt?

Its an easy way for a woman who has dealt with the stalkers, whiners, betas, etc to screen a guy early based on how he handles this shyte test. Just dont play the game with her (if it is a game).

A simple "OK" is the only response they would ever get from me if I feel the trap is being baited. No reason to give them any more than that.

One of 2 things will happen: She will think "that was easy enough" and move on and you wont hear from her. Or her plan to set the bait will blow up in her face and she will come racing back in a matter of days. Either should be ok in your mind. Sounds like you had great sex with her and if nothing else, take that and move on.

Just a heads up- the response "OK" will typically put her in a position to start explaining things. I think its important to just cut her off and tell her that you are really not interested in why she is feeling as she does and you dont want her to explain things. Tell her that if she feels that way, no worries, take care and move on.

Sit back and wait after a short reponse of OK and you will have your answer based on her response.

 

[rart]

My GF saw my old picture on a document and said if I met you back then I wouldn't date you. I replied "sure you would, I was gorgeous" with a smile. This morning she said "I'm sorry I said that yesterday, of course I would date you"

They test you all the fcking time.

 

[derby1]

if I met you back then I wouldn't date you

"well my dear if you were intelligent you would know uglier the bull prettier the calf"

 

[2Rocky]

You might never know her real reason for pulling back. Maybe she is trying to stay unattached emotionally and worried that she will become addicted to your magic ****. All you can do is have more options, but keep the door open.