Redpill and ExRedpillers

[jhonny9546]

I just believe what I believe, if it falls into one category or out of another I don't really care. Some of you go too far down the rabbit hole trying to figure out what it is you believe in. Almost like you can't think for yourself.

You have an identity and believes.
How do you keep an open mind and not a "fixed" mindset?
Even if "fixed" mindset people are more attrattive to woman

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Even if "fixed" mindset people are more attrattive to woman

Where did you get that notion?

 

[The Duke]

You have an identity and believes.
How do you keep an open mind and not a "fixed" mindset?
Even if "fixed" mindset people are more attrattive to woman

Thats a great question and not an easy one to answer. I think having "awareness" of yourself and others helps you to remain open minded. Having empathy also helps and a desire to always learn from a situation.

 

[jhonny9546]

Where did you get that notion?

Real life experiences. It's real.
I see many "fixed" and "ignorant" man which have easier life than "intelligent" and "rational" guys, because they get easier "irrational confidence" and they get women easier.

What's up bout you?

desire to always learn from a situation.

I think this is so important

 

[FlirtLife]

You got some guys that don't practice what they preach and do everything they tell their audience not to do. Heck you even got Rollo Tomassi(I never met him) who published a book recently titled "The Players Handbook" but the guys been married for over 30 years wtf does he know about being a player in 2024? the game has changed a lot since 1990, unless Rollo is cheating on his darling wife. (which wouldn't shock me)

I suspect most RP men here might view dating and having plates as a phase, after which they settle down. And maybe you'd call them frauds for following that path, which could explain your view on Rollo Tomassi. "The Player's Handbook" has a section titled "Passive Dread" covering what he knows about keeping marriage passionate. I'm not aware of another RP book discussing it, although I'd be happy to be proved wrong with an example.

And I'll provide an example of what I mean - of Neil Strauss seeking a long-term relationship after finding success as a pick-up artist. Neil Strauss, in his book "The Game", claims he was voted pick-up artist of the year, for two years in a row. That sounds RP to me. The scripts he uses on women start to fail, because women have heard it before from men who imitate him. And yet at the end of "The Game", he seeks out a long-term relationship with a woman who never fell for his PUA techniques. Was he ex-RP because he wanted a monogamous, long-term relationship? Was he never RP, despite the awards and contributions he made to PUA?

If I'm right, and many men ultimately return to seeking a long-term relationship, then "passive dread" is vitally important to keep passion alive in long term relationships. But maybe that is ex-RP or doesn't even count as RP. Hard to say, with nobody in charge of the definition.

 

[Solomon]

I suspect most RP men here might view dating and having plates as a phase, after which they settle down. And maybe you'd call them frauds for following that path, which could explain your view on Rollo Tomassi. "The Player's Handbook" has a section titled "Passive Dread" covering what he knows about keeping marriage passionate. I'm not aware of another RP book discussing it, although I'd be happy to be proved wrong with an example.

And I'll provide an example of what I mean - of Neil Strauss seeking a long-term relationship after finding success as a pick-up artist. Neil Strauss, in his book "The Game", claims he was voted pick-up artist of the year, for two years in a row. That sounds RP to me. The scripts he uses on women start to fail, because women have heard it before from men who imitate him. And yet at the end of "The Game", he seeks out a long-term relationship with a woman who never fell for his PUA techniques. Was he ex-RP because he wanted a monogamous, long-term relationship? Was he never RP, despite the awards and contributions he made to PUA?

If I'm right, and many men ultimately return to seeking a long-term relationship, then "passive dread" is vitally important to keep passion alive in long term relationships. But maybe that is ex-RP or doesn't even count as RP. Hard to say, with nobody in charge of the definition.

There is nothing wrong with growing out of a phase or even growing out of RP(personally I grew out of it once I realized some of it is delusional grandstanding i.e. only date women 25 or younger, only wife up virgins, and other goofy tropes ), but when you have married men writing books on how to be a player it's clown stuff, The field has changed. The stuff that worked 5 years ago may not work as well today (Pre-Covid) sure there are always things that are universal that will work but we live in a post-modern era where things change

I rather hear from a married man about how to keep marriage fun or LTR fun not about how to be a player and giving 3rd hand advice from stuff you heard or read of articles

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Back when I was most active in the dating game, there was no internet, not theories. You just had to go and experience rejection and find a way to get fewer and fewer rejections. Maybe, if I had access to the amount of information that is available now, I would also be struggling with 'information paralysis', but dating was a lot simpler then.

Also, most of my 'relationships' last anything from 6-9 months to several years. I've had seven one-night-stands and three of them led to longer engagements. I'm an Einzelgänger who used to have polyamory relationships before they had that name for it, and I've been in a LTR for sixteen years (12 of them married) with two children. So I can give some information about what I know and experienced, but I also know that many things I did or didn't do are not replicable by people who are not me.

And I found that monogamy and marriage are not my forte. I feel better, post-divorce, just living by myself with my children and having several girlfriends who are aware they're sharing me. For me, that works fine, but I can imagine that a lot of men wouldn't be able to do the same. Nor would I expect or advise them to follow my example.

As for the RP, I don't believe in any of the pills. I believe some people get tricked into living other people's fantasies, but you should find your own way to deal with other people.

 

[FlirtLife]

There is nothing wrong with growing out of a phase or even growing out of RP(personally I grew out of it once I realized some of it is delusional grandstanding i.e. only date women 25 or younger, only wife up virgins, and other goofy tropes ), but when you have married men writing books on how to be a player it's clown stuff, The field has changed. The stuff that worked 5 years ago may not work as well today (Pre-Covid) sure there are always things that are universal that will work but we live in a post-modern era where things change

I rather hear from a married man about how to keep marriage fun or LTR fun not about how to be a player and giving 3rd hand advice from stuff you heard or read of articles

That's a fair criticism - the lack of recent experience should be part of a disclaimer for Rollo's recent books. And I 100% agree with your last sentence - I wish Rollo would write a book on "Passive Dread" to help other married men. (I can't imagine his wife would like that)

I've read two of his books, which have helped me re-examine my past flirting and dating. I appear to have created some number of alpha widows without intending it, and a wave of guilt washed over me while reading Rollo's description of them. Being aware that women may be stuck on some guy from their past can still be valuable information.

When author's cite studies and research, it is more likely they aren't full of it. I like that of Rollo's books, and I wish there were more like it - but that could be unique to me. I'm not looking for scripts or confidence boosts, and I can certainly understand that many men want both.

 

[FlirtLife]

Maybe we need a poll, where every RP author can be voted on, and people can figure out who most people like/follow. It could be a mess, since people seek different things from RP authors. But it would at least give an indication who isn't viewed favorably here.

 

[Fruitbat]

I’m not sure if others have folllowed the same arc I have with this stuff.

1. Get brought up in a blue pill world. Know inside something is wrong. The ladies, and the world, don’t seem to buy the covert contracts I’ve been conditioned to play in. I’m a decent dude but hey, the ladies seem to be playing the game rogue and keep going for these a-holes

2. Discover the red pill. See the truth within it. Quite enraged.

3. Modify behaviour towards what really matters. Attain much more success.

4. Start to notice areas where RP is too absolute . Notice the areas it doesn’t work, or is too black and white.

5. End up realising that RP is kind of a reaction to blue pill conditioning which is especially important to men who were lied to and never gof told the full truth of the sexes, but that it’s way too overstated and extreme .

I can give an example. A lot of RP gurus say that you should never engage with a woman’s drama or problems “keep that sh for your GF” etc.

Last night I was feeling amorous but my wife was unreceptive and shut down. Vaguely said she was upset. Instead of following advice, I pushed her to open up and spoke to her for 45 mins about her troubles. Eye contact, full attention. Didn’t try to fix troubles. Just empathised and said I understood. After this she was in the mood.

Red pill often disregards two things. 1. Is that women are human beings and are similar to us in more ways than we are different and 2. RP is more of a handbook for damaged and vulnerable women, not well adjusted intelligent women.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Red pill often disregards two things. 1. Is that women are human beings and are similar to us in more ways than we are different and 2. RP is more of a handbook for damaged and vulnerable women, not well adjusted intelligent women.

That's because any well-adjusted intelligent woman wouldn't fall for a Red Pillar.