reddit post: Hobby groups are full of single men

[MatureDJ]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAlone/comments/clx8k7

“Just go to a meetup bro”

Well, a hell lot of guys actually take this advice. My conclusion, after about a year of careful observation and collection of evidence (in a large German city) is that all these supposedly innocent meetups are overcrowded with single men aged 25-40 (70-90%).

I not only attended countless events over the past year, I’ve also been following the respective FB and Meetup groups. Frankly, it’s ridiculous. Posts by guys are often outright ignored. When a girl posts almost the exact same unimaginative invitation („anybody up for a drink at ...?“) the post will blow up and she’ll be bombarded with DMs. A lot of girls explicitly state that they’re looking to meet “girls only” for the activity they propose (such as running, movie night, etc). I’ve never seen a post by a guy excluding girls from a potential meetup (I don’t blame the girls who do this, all these unsolicited advances must be tiring).

And a comment:

I think the issue here (as ive been saying for 20 years) is single women choose how and who they want to meet, so you end up with loads of single guys with hobbies to try and meet women, when clearly women are not interested, why would they be, they can go shopping and get hit on.

This is one reason i NEVER talk with women while out, they know it will happen and dont like it, i cant get dates as not in the top %, they dont want me trying to hit on them in the shops, ive said "morning" to some women while shopping (its a habit while i work, i always say hello to anyone i see) for them to say something like "i'm married" (not morning back, the first line "i'm married"), as my greeting was not aimed at trying to talk with them, ive learned really fast to never try and talk cold to anyone while out.

my opinion: It's OVER for hobbycels.

 

[Visionist]

Don't pick hobbies you don't even like just because there may be women (and then find out there aren't women anyway).

Pick hobbies you genuinely enjoy and to hell with the women. Hobbies are about your enjoyment, not women's enjoyment. Hell, in my hobby, women are a nuisance and a distraction, because they parade around, half naked, with their boyfriends, rubbing up on them and kissing them in front of me. You think I wanna see that shît?

lmao

Pick hobbies that you enjoy and crucially aid your development. So martial arts to hone your masculine aggression and naturally make you attractive to women outside that hobby. But only if you enjoy martial arts regardless of whether it makes you more attractive or not.

 

[corrector]

Don't pick hobbies you don't even like just because there may be women (and then find out there aren't women anyway).

Pick hobbies you genuinely enjoy and to hell with the women. Hobbies are about your enjoyment, not women's enjoyment. Hell, in my hobby, women are a nuisance and a distraction, because they parade around, half naked, with their boyfriends, rubbing up on them and kissing them in front of me. You think I wanna see that shît?

lmao

Pick hobbies that you enjoy and crucially aid your development. So martial arts to hone your masculine aggression and naturally make you attractive to women outside that hobby. But only if you enjoy martial arts regardless of whether it makes you more attractive or not.

That is a cop out. There is allot of advice on here encouraging social circle game as opposed to wild cold aplroaches. You going to make a goofy karate stance.as.a gimmic,.lol!

Also if that is the case then why not just play video games and binge watch, as long as you like it and the heck with women right? What makes one hobby better or worst than another apart from your personal tastes.

 

[jaymbrs]

One of my hobbies is drinking and I meet a hell of a lot of women doing that.

 

[nicksaiz65]

That is a cop out. There is allot of advice on here encouraging social circle game as opposed to wild cold aplroaches. You going to make a goofy karate stance.as.a gimmic,.lol!

Yeah man... why not meet women everywhere instead of constraining yourself like that? Lol

 

[Bible_Belt]

Anything that involves animal welfare will always have way more women than men. Go volunteer at a shelter if you want to avoid a sausage fest.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

in my hobby, women are a nuisance and a distraction, because they parade around, half naked, with their boyfriends, rubbing up on them and kissing them in front of me.

In what world does this happen in?

That is a cop out. There is allot of advice on here encouraging social circle game as opposed to wild cold aplroaches. You going to make a goofy karate stance.as.a gimmic,.lol!

Also if that is the case then why not just play video games and binge watch, as long as you like it and the heck with women right? What makes one hobby better or worst than another apart from your personal tastes.

It’s about being social. You go out to have fun for the enjoyment of the hobby itself, yes, but also for the social aspect too. Most people don’t realize that that’s what makes a hobby fun more than anything. And when you do pick a hobby, let it be something that’ll help develop you as a person, try and do something with your life to give it meaning. Be productive. That’s why binge watching anime with Cheeto dust on your fingers and used tissues on the side is looked down upon.

 

[SW15]

It is my understanding that Meetup.com has essentially been shut down as a result of the pandemic in the United States. All of the Meetup events are virtual events now.

Prior to the pandemic, Meetup events in my city in the general social groups were sausage fests. General social groups means a group titled like "X City Young Professionals", "20s/30s in X City", etc. At events for general social groups, you would have hordes of men and few women. As an example, let's say an event had 30 attendees. 20 would be men. 6 women would be subpar women. 2 women would be average and 2 would be above average. The 20 men would focus their efforts talking to the 4 women average or above average. It was definitely not a good environment for getting your dicck wet.

Many years ago, I did participate in a Meetup.com tennis group. I got one date as a result of it. I recall the group being more male than female. Few female attendees were pretty and the level of female tennis skill in the group wasn't all that impressive either.

Bottom line is that there are far better ways to get your dicck wet than attending any sort of Meetup.com event.

 

[Who Dares Win]

If you create a hobby group named "international millionaires in hedonism" and as description:
"we're young millionaires from everywhere in the world who enjoy travelling and taking advantage of our wealth visiting the most exclusive places on the globe and meet you friends to join us".

For some reason I believe many more women will ask to join.

You know it seems to me that women are drawn to a small numer of men while they not only are not to the majority but actually see such majority as a waste of space and would gladly avoid any interaction with them.

 

[Visionist]

In what world does this happen in?

Theme parks in summer. As a coasterhead I usually travel alone as mine isn't exactly a popular - or cheap - hobby.

I had an episode last year in Spain where after five days of being on my own and surrounded by horny, sweaty young couples from morning till midnight I was ready to pack it in and fly home. Serious insecurity issues which I wouldn't have ever discovered I even had unless I'd put myself in that situation. That's why I always tell guys - and girls - to just try things even if they aren't sure how they'll turn out. You learn so much about yourself when placed in difficult situations.

Fortunately that day was my last day anyway. Next year I've decided to join a big enthusiast group for a visit to six American parks. Maybe it's a copout. I ain't running the risk of more insecurity messing up my trip though.

 

[SW15]

In general, it's ideal to find an overlap between something you enjoy doing and the activity being friendly to females. I'm athletic, so I'll cover a few of my athletic hobby expenditures over time. At the present time, much of this is shut down due to the pandemic.

Tennis

When you are in your 20s/30s, it's difficult to meet tennis playing women. No matter how you slice it, you can't do any real sustainable volume of approaching via tennis. I've tried at various times at both public and private courts. It's so uncommon to find 2 20s/30s women playing a singles match. Most of the time, women in this age group are playing tennis with their boyfriends, husbands, or brothers. There was an occasion where I was playing a singles match with a friend and there were 4 girls playing a doubles match on the next over (public court). I got the number and set up a date with the best looking and best player of the 4. That's rare though.

When I've played at private facilities, I've noticed a lot of moms, divorcees, and other 40 something women around and playing. I'm thinking from ages 40-55, that's a good time to pick up a middle aged divorcee getting a fat alimony check from her ex.

Despite tennis being a female friendly sport, the majority of players are male. An even bigger percentage of the best players are male. As a tennis playing male, it is not easy to find a woman who can play at a close level to you. This becomes more true the more advanced your tennis abilities are.

Co-ed Team Sports Leagues

In the past, I have participated in kickball and sand volleyball co-ed sports leagues. Both these sports are female friendly. For a while, from roughly 2007-2015, kickball leagues were a common activity among white yuppies in larger metro areas. I did a season of kickball and got nothing out of it. I did a couple of seasons of sand volleyball and got nothing out of the leagues either. Other sports where it might be possible to meet women through the league are soccer and softball, though I have no firsthand experience with either sport. It is theoretically possible to get something out of those leagues, but I have known multiple women who regularly participate in sports leagues who are continually on Hinge and Bumble. If leagues were so good, why are they on swipe apps?

I had more success meeting women via sand volleyball playing pickup games at venues at the times those venues were not hosting leagues. I'm not entirely sure why that is, but I got more dates out of doing that than the organized leagues. I even got an extended girlfriend out of pickup volleyball. I found women more approachable in pickup volleyball than organized leagues. If anyone would like to offer an explanation for why that may have occurred, I'm open to it.

If you have athletic ability in a sport, I recommend trying to meet women via that sport. I wouldn't start a sport necessarily because it is a female friendly sport, unless it is adjacent to existing sport skill set. I have been primarily a tennis player, so I had some transferrable skills to sand volleyball. My sand volleyball serving was fantastic because of tennis. Sand volleyball was an easy skill set for me to pick up.

For sand volleyball, within the United States, participation in it can be fruitful if you live in Los Angeles/Orange County, San Diego, Miami/Fort Lauderdale, or the Tampa area. Those cities have year round beach culture and pickup games can likely easily be found. Some larger inland cities have venues for sand volleyball. Indoor volleyball might be an option as well.

If you play sand volleyball, it is highly recommended to have a better than average body. The best looking women's sand volleyball players are often the most skilled sand volleyball players. They were either high school indoor volleyball players, collegiate volleyball players, and/or they grew up in Southern California or beach locales in Florida. These women expect a guy with a good body because they have good bodies and often amazing tans too.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Men need something to do anyway other than following up under women. Masculine groups preserve masculinity and testosterone. They are needed.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Pickup Badminton and basketball is mostly single men.
Softball leagues are evenly mixed men and women but nearly all are alcohol drinkers. If one has cut alcohol out of their life, be prepared to be the only one drinking tomato juice at the sponsoring bar after the games.
Hiking and cross country skiing and canoeing clubs are evenly mixed men and women.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Women and sport rarely exist togheter when those women are young enough and goodlooking enough to get attention.

They discover self care, recreative sports and getting in shape usually only when they run out of options and attention.

Except for eastern europe everywhere i trained in the whole continent the average woman age in the gym was 40.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Pickup Badminton and basketball is mostly single men.
Softball leagues are evenly mixed men and women but nearly all are alcohol drinkers. If one has cut alcohol out of their life, be prepared to be the only one drinking tomato juice at the sponsoring bar after the games.
Hiking and cross country skiing and canoeing clubs are evenly mixed men and women.

Former hard drinkers drink tomato juice?

 

[Kotaix]

my opinion: It's OVER for hobbycels.

This kind of sh!t attitude doesn't help anyone.

Hobbies are a great way to meet more people. If you have more male friends and they invite you over for a beer or even to a party you're more likely to meet people and women there than if you didn't engage in it. AND you'll have camaraderie that will increase your social standing in the eyes of women because they think you're socially intelligent

It all comes down to being able to be outgoing and developing your social skills. If you're a hardcore introvert then this may be difficult, but it's easy to make excuses and it's hard to work at something and get good at it.

Rock climbing is an excellent coed sport and a good way to meet fit women. Sailing is also highly coed, and having a boat will help you get dates. And since both sports require a woman to put in work, it's a great way to weed out the women who are content to sit on ass and get fat.

 

[GioWolf]

A buddy took me to a local shore bar co-ed sand volleyball league game. All were maybe 5s or 6s. I talked to some of the girls on the team and it turns out they all have boyfriends either on the team or waiting for them at home after the game. It seems like the co-ed team is more of a couples activity than a meet up group. I’d only join the league if I absolutely enjoyed volleyball and I had nothing else productive to do. I’ll pass this season.

 

[Black Widow Void]

It is my understanding that Meetup.com has essentially been shut down as a result of the pandemic in the United States. All of the Meetup events are virtual events now.

Wrong.
I'll be attending a meetup group (in real time/real life) this Saturday (in the U.S.) . The choice is at the discretion of each organizer.

Bottom line is that there are far better ways to get your dicck wet than attending any sort of Meetup.com event.

It's always amusing to read comments from a person that adds a little overcompensating 'swagger' to their comments.
I'll put it to you like this: The meetup group that I'll be attending is at a coffee shop that's less than 10 minutes away from my house.
Currently, there's 12 attendees (including me). Of the six women, half look good, one is passable and two aren't worth a second thought. Of the men, one guy seems cool (could be potential competition) but the other four would appear awkward and out of their element.

Although no one bats 100% and I have no crystal ball, I'm confident (due to good results from previous meetup groups) that it'll be worth my effort. Worst outcome is that I drink a cup of coffee (which I would already do on a Saturday).

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Former hard drinkers drink tomato juice?

do they?
I do that or oj to stop the overzealous "oh come on, just have one" types of alcohol bullies.
Tomato juice or oj look like alcohol drinks and if I sip it slow, I can fool alot.

 

[skinnyguy]

Meetup should only be used to make guy friends. The women on meetup are whales. If you meet one random hot one, she will be bombarded by simps and she will eventually get turned off by meetup.

It's similar to OLD in terms of the ratios.

Going to these websites and trying to score is what 99% of the other guys are going to try to do. You have to be creative. I once volunteered at a pro beach volleyball tournament. Some of the other volunteers were HB 9 volleyball players. It was just an extra perk, I was trying to get in free. College football games are also goldmines. While working at the ticket booth as a freshman, I was flirting with tons of college hbs. During a pandemic it's much harder of course. If someone invites you to a happy hour with lots of women, it's almost too easy.

Then there are the methods that some guys use which is going to events that are specifically geared toward women, like yoga...it's hit or miss.

Bottom, line, women don't need to meet new people as much as single guys do. OP talked about a comment where he said he won't daygame women because they respond with I'm married/I have a bf. There is no need for them to go on a date with randoms. Now, if you meet a woman at a special event, like a wedding or an invite only party...it's completely different. It's no longer cold approach it's warm approach, and she won't have her b**** shield up. Everything is dependent on the circumstances.