Red pill: how to understand couple where Man wants to have kid, wife doesn't?

[IASGame]

I know a few couples where the Man/husband wants to have a kid or kids but the Woman/wife doesn't (and is mid thirties because I think that is relevant), and have trouble understanding this from a Red Pill perspective.

Presumably the guys in question are Beta Bucks, what is going on?

 

[dustmuffin]

Control issue? This is a good question.

 

[Tenacity]

For one, I still think you guys have got to let go of these "alpha" and "beta" labels, you can't be 100% either or. You are only as "alpha" as your situation allows it.

When you get married, THAT right there gives a ton of control over to the woman in terms of a legal perspective. How a Married Man can be "alpha" is beyond me, what is he truly in control over? The woman is carrying a bomb that she can let off at any moment if he doesn't "act right".

When it comes to marriage, you know how a lot of guys will tell you when they argue with their wives that they just LET their wives win to keep peace in the house? That's what marriage is for a lot of guys. So if the chick says you aren't making kids, guess what? You might have to KISS her a.ss and go along with it. If the chicks says you guys aren't relocating for you to take that dream job, you might have to KISS her a.ss and go along with it. But when the CHICK wants something, you better not argue with her too long or again....she might drop that bomb on you.

Why anybody still gets married today with these laws being totally out of wack like this, is beyond me.

 

[zekko]

I think it's perfectly understandable for a man to want to have children/heirs to his empire. I don't see that as beta at all. Of course in today's modern western society this just puts even more power into the woman's hands, and adds child support and a whole slew of weapons to the divorce bomb she is carrying.

Most women don't feel fulfilled without reproducing though, so it's more of a question why the woman wouldn't want kids. I knew one woman who had an actual fear of childbirth (can't say I blame her, lol).

 

[zonn]

Surely you'd have this conversation prior to marrige/ltr situation? If the woman changes her mind after the marrige/ltr itself, the man knows where the door is.

 

[IASGame]

I think it's perfectly understandable for a man to want to have children/heirs to his empire. I don't see that as beta at all. Of course in today's modern western society this just puts even more power into the woman's hands, and adds child support and a whole slew of weapons to the divorce bomb she is carrying.

Most women don't feel fulfilled without reproducing though, so it's more of a question why the woman wouldn't want kids. I knew one woman who had an actual fear of childbirth (can't say I blame her, lol).

My assumption that the guys were Beta Bucks was because if the husband was Alpha enough I just imagined the wife would be all "please put babies inside me" instead of being reticent or against it.

There are I guess many possible reasons so in the abstract and without knowing more it may be we can't figure it out. Things that came to my mind were
1. worried about hereditary genetic issues (if this is the case, it makes me assume the guy is a Beta Bucks).
2. the wife being worried the guy won't be around to help with the raising of the kid (this could even be the case with an Alpha guy), maybe even because of a risky job.
3. self-esteem issue (fear of childbirth, fear of not being a good enough mother, would come here).

 

[grayclif]

Legitimate grounds for divorce if you ask me.

 

[dustmuffin]

My x wife tricked me into having a second child. She came back from the doctor and said she wasn't fertil. So we didn't need birth control. Maybe this guy ought to try something similar.

 

[IASGame]

A bit off-topic, my wife pulled an hilarious (to her) **** test on me. I think I passed by not freaking out and looking amused throughout it.
Me on top of her, with a good chance of getting intercourse, she goes "I stopped taking the pill today". I kept my cool, joked around a bit and she starts laughing.

She knows that I sometimes casually check to see if she forgot (which rarely but sometimes happens, and we take extra precautions). She knew that I hadn't checked that day. Mischievous!
While smiling about it I also told her I only check to help her remember, because I knew full well that if she wanted to trick me she could just throw it out and I wouldn't suspect.

Later on I did tell her that if she does have an intentional "accident" I would take it pretty seriously, and then we joked around that the "accidents" some people we know had were probably intentional.

I think she understands that if she pulls such an "accident" on me I would pay whatever I have to pay for the kid but would not stick around with her. Maybe I should be more explicit on that actually and tell her outright that is what I would do, although I'm not sure if it would just tempt her to test me for real. At the moment I think she herself doesn't want kids, but frankly I've been wondering if I should start wearing condoms full time...

 

[Fruitbat]

I broke up with my ex wife because of this.

It has nowt to do with alphA or beta. Some women don't want kids.

She has enough problems running her own life, let alone raising kids. She hasn't gone and got pregnant elsewhere.

Wanting kids is not a beta thing, it's a sign of maturity. Throughout history men, great men, have wanted a legacy. In fact, it's the sole reason a man wanted a woman for most of recorded history.

This sounds terrible but I'm looking for a woman on the basis of child rearing skills. Hot girls are hot, it's true, but one can always have sex with hot girls at places called holidays or brothels.
One day, the hotness will be gone for good. You'll be left with something different then. At that point, you'll probably get divorced and end up bitter.

If you go for a woman who you get on with, is family minded and dare I say, hasn't been spoiled too much with male attention and perhaps views you as the catch, she will be devoted and even when she ages, she won't run off with your kids and money, because she always thought she was lucky to get you. Plus you may actually like each other on other levels than physical.

For thousands of years, men didn't always marry for love, that's chick flick stuff. You married for practicality, a woman who could further your empire and one worthy of her share.

Stupid hot girls are for weekend ***** and business trips. I've had my days with dating them, they are almost universally selfish, stupid and spoiled. The small percentage who aren't, well, there are sports stars, millionaires and firemen ahead of me competing for them...they are so rare you'll be lucky to get one.

Average looking girls with a good heart are many, they will treat you as a King. By all means tap up hot ass but be careful who you pick for a ltr young pawdwins.

I'm. Conscious that I've said I may be unfaithfull. I may. To me, having the right woman at home and a hot mistress or odd fling on the side is ideal, and if they were being honest, if it keeps a high value man committed to them (by being able to sow a few dirty oats without running away with the secretary) they wouldn't trade it.

Many cultures had this arrangement and still do.

I wasted many years chasing hot ass but realising now you are better off with an average girl if you yourself are a standard guy. I'm dating one now. Sexy enough to get me hard, but not a job but kind, respectful, submissive and loyal, and also dotes on me. I sometimes see hot girls in early 20s and yearn for their hot bodies, but then view my friends who married said girls and they don't stay that way forever, but their unequal status in their relationships do.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's certainly very odd as men are attracted to the sex while women are attracted to having the kid - and Mother Nature intended for both to be logically correlated. Looking back I did have one girlfriend who always said that she didn't want kids - I think mainly because of the pregnancy sickness and morbidity; she was not so much a caring person, but she was very sexually receptive. I had another girlfriend who said that she only wanted 1 kid; perhaps it was for a similar reason, and her being an only child, she liked the idea of the attention. OTOH, I had a girlfriend who was the last of 14, and she said she wanted a big family (but not quite that big). In fact, now that I think about it, most or all girlfriends I've been with have let it be known how many kids they wanted. I have usually responded that 2 plus the last one (i.e., you never know how many you'll actually get per brood) sounds like a responsible number.

As for myself, as I see myself as being very uninvolved during the diaper & vomiting phase, I don't feel like I have room to really demand anything.

 

[penkitten]

When you say "red pill perspective", do you mean "reddit red pill forum perspective" ?

 

[IASGame]

I meant from a perspective that is aware of hypergamy and the duality of Alpha F and Beta Bucks to maximize hypergamy. It doesn't need to be from Reddit or from Rational Male (which is mostly what I've been reading, I'm also on this forum and read up on TRP on reddit).

I'm fairly new to this so if you have anything that you think could enlighten the issue feel free to write about it.

 

[YawataNoKami]

Quite frankly , any man who wants kids in this time and age is crazy or dumb. Maybe both.

 

[penkitten]

Most people talk about the possibility of children before the vows. Did you discuss it previously?