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[CapedCrusader08]

and I am talking about within me. I have been reading about behavioral stuff, like just being, acting natural etc, I would say I am getting better,but still have some habits. I also have these internal anxiety/emotional issues, depression,self pity,etc, trying to stop it. I know I don't say these things as the first thing when I meet a person, so it's not like I am that off, but I still have a sense of social awkwardness,even shyness.

I mean,it's this routine of things that has caused an isolation,hence the anxiety. I spend more time at home,work,school,than being out more. Lack of school in the past has screwed some things up for me it feels like.

I mean, I have this problem,how do you get them to be attracted not out of pity? Not that that's what I want, but it is a struggle. These are issues I am trying to tackle.

 

[MisterMcGee]

Alright I'm vouching for a ban for this boy on the grounds of spamming the forum

 

[daygameguy]

Nobody can help you if you dont help yourself.

Join a gym if you have body problems
Get a haircut or a makeover if you dont like your looks
See a voice coach if you have troubles with voice
Chnge your wardrobe, update your clothing, if you have to

Get out there, IN THE FIELD, DAY time or NIGHT time, doesnt matter, just approach people and talk to women everyday. Come back after a month. Then discuss some game with us.

That is the ONLY way you are going to get out of the emotional block that you are in right now.

 

[loving]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1508511&postcount=20

+ eckhart tolle.

Jesus christ we need a ****ing ban to get you to realize your answers are here already?

JUST DO IT! nothing will change until you do it. Nothing will change until you do it. For christ's sake, nothing will change until you do it!

Your asking the SAME FUCING QUESTIONS! What did I tell you? Your questions don't matter anymore, they're your brain tricking you into thinking your making progress.

There will be a point when your questions matter, but not til you fix yourself.

"Thats great loving, thanks I already knew all this, how do I fix myself?"

Read. Your. Threads.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Please don't ban me, I only post here as a means of trying to vent and find a solution to my problems, which is all I can think of. It eats away at me.

I don't know how to fix myself, I feel so behind in regards to all this dating stuff, I feel almost inferior. I feel because I didn't start having sex sooner and losing my virginity at an earlier age, something that did and still does bother me, not knowing or picking up on the hints and signs, all this stuff that is learned from direct experience. Or am I just making things out to be more than they are? I try to find all the information I can to try and make myself feel better, doesn't work.

Articles like this: http://www.datinggroundwork.com/

This one hear sums alot of my I guess,worries/fears...
http://www.datinggroundwork.com/virgin

I guess I just have to learn to jump in and swim, but there is that lingering feeling of not having jumped in sooner,what can I do to overcome that?

 

[NewAndImproved]

I guess I just have to learn to jump in and swim, but there is that lingering feeling of not having jumped in sooner,what can I do to overcome that?

NOTHING except for taking action. You might not forget the past but at least you'll be guaranteed a better future. I've been where you're at. Days on end of self-pity and inertia (doing nothing). There's no way out on your current path. You have to DO something, anything. That's the only cure for anxiety and depression, interestingly enough, even though it's the hardest thing for someone with these problems to do. ACT. The feelings will follow in time.

 

[brownbear.]

dude, i've been here less than a month and i'm already tired of your sh!t. man up, get up off your ass and do something about it. you've already gotten all the advice you need. what do you hope to gain from the sixteenth thread that you didn't get from the first fifteen identicakl ones?

believe me, most of us are pulling for you to succeed, it just gets frustrating when i see guys doing everything on thier end to try and help you and its met by apathy and non-action on your end. we cant open women for you. just say "hi" thats it, maybe hold eye-contact and see where it goes, or run away scared, either way try to make some forward progress.

if you think your feelings of wasted time are bad now, imagine yourself in a year, five years, especially with the knowledge that you could've made your turning point today, right now. go, get off the computer, buy some milk or something and open the first girl you see. come back and report the results and i promise you will get more support and advice from this site than if you choose to remain inactive.

 

[Evolve]

He's clearly in a rut and stuck in it.

You have two choices

Option 1
Forget about the past. Listen to the good advise you are getting. Take on board this advise. Go out there and DO. No matter the consiquences.

Option 2
Take no action. Read all the information on the internet about this stuff post hundreds of threads. But take no action in the hope someone will give you the magic pill to solve all your problems. And stay like this till the day you die.

 

[Evolve]

Fix your physical things

Clean you whole living area and car. Sort you all you clouths throw the crappy ones keep the good. Buy some good ones if you have enough money.

Join a gym work out with weights 3 times a week. Train at home if you do not have enough money for the gym

Eat like you should be eating (healthy)

Get the hell off sites like these and start doing, you will not find a magic pill on here just a push in the direction you should be heading

Spend all the free time you have being around people close to you. Family friends, even pets e.t.c.

Start repecting yourself and treat yourself like a ****ing prince

Getting you **** together will help with confidence issues mabye even give you enough confidence to take action

Mabye even post a few pics of your self now. So we can see the progress you have made with physical aspects

Make a vow not to make anymore whiny posts unless you have actually taken a step forward and need us to tell who where you went wrong what you should be doing

Tell us what you are activaly doing to change your situation apart from reading articals and creating threads on here

Screw the fact your a virgin, forget about it right now, its holding you back. No one gives a **** your a virgin. Not the first girl you are going to **** in the not so distant future not anyone. The only person who cares is you, stop living in your own mind, you have made it hell. You can change it if you really put in some hard work. Haha you could even get all the way to just about to have sex and just run away and go home (that would be so funny and take some self restraint/disapline). It would all be progress buddy.

I was in a real rut months ago this is how I started to get my life back on track. Sorted the easy things 1st moving on to the harder stuff now

 

[CapedCrusader08]

You're right. I have been hoping for this magic pill thing of sorts for so long.

Or, it's this feeling of everything and one being against me,rather than in my favor.

 

[Evolve]

Mate get off all these damb stupid seduction sites, as you don't need them. Really work on getting your **** together. Get to the point where you think you have pushed this aspect of your life as far as it can go. The Rest for a bit then look for what you need to do next, its all about taking small steps in the right direction AND DOING!

Right a list right now what you are going to do to improve your life in the next say 4 weeks. Ban yourself from reading up on seduction bull**** and get the real things sorted first. BUILD A FOUNDATION FOR THE NEW YOU TO BE BUILT ON!

Write your list now and post it on here. Im sure the guys will see you are taking steps and help you with it.

 

[NewAndImproved]

You're right. I have been hoping for this magic pill thing of sorts for so long.

Or, it's this feeling of everything and one being against me,rather than in my favor.

Interesting. You say you "agree" with us, and then you proceed into those very same destructive thought patterns. I don't think you do "agree."...at least not fully.

You need to come to a realization on your own. Maybe you're not at that breaking point yet, where, you're depressed, paralyzed w/ fear but so fed up w/it that you just decide you're gonna do something different, even though taking action will be painful and frightening also.

Are you at that ENOUGH point yet?

 

[Evolve]

NewAndImproved that post did nothing at all to help him and just wasted about 3 min of your life.

I say noone should reply to his post from now on unless. He shows he's taking action and if he is, wipe the slate clean and give him all the help we can. If not just ignore him untill he goes away or ban.

 

[trv26]

How bad is the social anxiety? If you think you are not improving despite doing your best, perhaps you should speak to your doctor.

....There are meds that he can give you that would make you a little less nervous and help you interact better. The improvement you see in yourself will help you believe in yourself and you will also build up your social skills so that even when you wean yourself off them you wont go back to your original state.

Many people are against meds. I guess it feels like you accepting there's something wrong with you. I was against them too.

.....However I was recommended them-some anti-depressants for some other problem I had (non-mental in case you guys think im a nutcase!!). I was on them for 6 months or so.

I managed to improve quite a bit during this time. For example, before I started on them, I had never in my life told a girl I liked her. In fact I would totally clam up when having a conversation with any girl unless she was butt ugly. People on these boards complain about being LJBFd, while I would have given a lot just to have a female friend. And even when there was some rare interest from some girl, I still could not manage to make a move.

After starting on them, I managed to actually tell some girl from college I liked her albeit on facebook. Nothing came of it but it was a start. Then I started chatting up a girl online and phone for a few months. Then for whatever reason I came off them. (It wasn't that difficult to come off them in case your wondering). A couple of months after this I managed to ask this girl out and told her I like her, something I believe I would not have been able to do had I not gone on the meds. We've been dating every since. The fact the relationship isn't quite what I expected is another matter.

Anyway,so if none of the other advice on sosuave is working there is something for you to help give you a push. Good Luck.

 

[DonJuan11]

He's clearly in a rut and stuck in it.

The problem is he starts thread and thread since we are his therapy. We give him attention and he likes it, it feeds his ego. It's alot safer to make friends or even get rejected behind a computer screen than in the real world. He's not listening to us. He's not reading the advice, he's not going out there and gaining experience. He thinks the world revolves around him and girls should either:

(a) make him happy
(b) feed his ego
(c) have sex with him

He even says "this is the only place that listens to me". What is he going to do when we stop listening? Kill himself? I don't think so

 

[jahidi]

Mods, if you aren't going to ban this guy, can you at least merge all his garbage into one "CapedCrusader's B!tching Thread"?

I would say something meaningful to try to help, but he'd just say his quick agreement and then in the next sentence start whining again.

I wish people on this forum who actually care about learning would get the same attention from other members that this douchebag gets.

 

[Dannyrt34]

CapedCrusader, I want to help you man. I really do. I love helping people in need. But, I would like to know that the person who I'm helping is actually going to TRY to be a better person.

I told you to start a thread saying your going to start your journey to becoming a man. I just would really like to know something specific you want to improve about yourself. SPECIFIC doesn't mean saying "my life sucks, I just want to make it better."

So you tell me something you want to change.

For now, it sounds like you need some confidence for motivation. May I suggest a 30 minute cardio workout for you every other day? Getting the sweat dripping and heart beating faster while breathing hard does wonders for your mind and body. It releases certain endorphins in the brain that helps depression, and your confidence goes up. Just do this once and let me know how you feel, then keep at it.

We would all LOVE to help you, but only if your actually going to put some effort into it yourself.

 

[jahidi]

For now, it sounds like you need some confidence for motivation. May I suggest a 30 minute cardio workout for you every other day? Getting the sweat dripping and heart beating faster while breathing hard does wonders for your mind and body. It releases certain endorphins in the brain that helps depression, and your confidence goes up. Just do this once and let me know how you feel, then keep at it.

I think endorphins would help because my confidence is low and my depression is high. It comes from a feeling of not having accomplished anything. I mean,I've had sex a couple times,but that was a while ago. I am trying to stop these issues within myself but I feel as though it's too late and I've missed out on so much of my life already,there's a void where there should be something more. I can't see into the future.

Did I just read someone's mind?

 

[DonJuan11]

CapedCrusader, I want to help you man. I really do. I love helping people in need. But, I would like to know that the person who I'm helping is actually going to TRY to be a better person.

I told you to start a thread saying your going to start your journey to becoming a man. I just would really like to know something specific you want to improve about yourself. SPECIFIC doesn't mean saying "my life sucks, I just want to make it better."

So you tell me something you want to change.

For now, it sounds like you need some confidence for motivation. May I suggest a 30 minute cardio workout for you every other day? Getting the sweat dripping and heart beating faster while breathing hard does wonders for your mind and body. It releases certain endorphins in the brain that helps depression, and your confidence goes up. Just do this once and let me know how you feel, then keep at it.

We would all LOVE to help you, but only if your actually going to put some effort into it yourself.

Good advice, but I think we have to realize he doesn't want our help or solutions, he just wants an ear to hear him, to respond to him, to pity him, which is mostly what we are doing.

Someone who posts this much about the same topic, and repeats himself over and over and over again, wants us to feel sorry for him. He's realized he's messed up his life by not acting earlier and now just wants others to say "poor you". It feels good to him.

There is no point for him to try now because,

(1) He's gone this long without sex or girls so the sex doesn't really matter to him anymore
(2) He's angry and bitter with girls for not giving him sex
(3) He's tried before and got no results, so there is no reason to try now
(4) Even if he got sex, he would still be angry and bitter than it didn't happen 10 years ago

You can't rationalize with a person like this, they are stuck in their ways. They are looking for a magic pill to give them the power to have sex and to make them get laid alot, they don't want to put in the hard work it requires, which gets harder everyday because he is getting older, and he has no experience.

 

[DJ Noble]

May I suggest a 30 minute cardio workout for you every other day? Getting the sweat dripping and heart beating faster while breathing hard does wonders for your mind and body. It releases certain endorphins in the brain that helps depression, and your confidence goes up.

I couldn't agree more.

Let go of the mouse and keyboard.

Stand up. Do as many push ups as you can until you max out.

Go outside and run around the block 3 times at your top speed.

Come back in, grab that cell of yours and contact some of the females in your phone.

Turn off your monitor NOW! Do it!!