red flag when a women wants to change your style?

[jazzpur]

ive never dealt with this in the past with other women, so id like advice from others.

my girlfriend of a few months, has been suggesting she buy me items of clothing to "upgrade" my style. i have a more youthful style, streetwear, a 5 panel cap, huf tee, and dry denim,and janoskis. its who ive always been. expensive stuff nonetheless but nowhere near the conservative background she comes from.

she suggests more preppy dressy attire, less assimilated to character, more assimilated to fitting in. hearing this has actually made me less attracted to her.

i made it very clear im not going to sacrifice my individuality to impress anyone but myself. it ended up in a blow out where by she was so frustrated she wanted to "evaluate our future". but of course she cried and came back around.

i still stuck to my guns knowing damn well she fell for the edge i portray. is this just **** testing my integrity or are there underlying psychological issues to worry about here?

 

[Mike32ct]

Women try to "dress" their men to make them LESS attractive to other women to keep competition away. But sadly, it ends up making her less attracted to you too as a side effect.

It's not that they dress you badly. Often, it a reasonable but CONSERVATIVE look. The tie wifey buys you is fine for work, but it would never get you laid if you were single because it screams boring nice guy.

Stand your ground. Otherwise, next, you'll be trading in the motorcycle for a minivan.

Don't get me wrong. There are times when you need to dress conservatively like for work or some event, but do it on your own terms. A man should be able to dress himself lol.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Cannot really tell what is the meaning, I had a similar phase with my ex girlfriend which tried to made me replace my tshirt+ jeans and switch to more stylish clothes like the ones you see on magazines

Example from this

To this

I explained it as her desire to increae my value in front of others since I was way older than her thus having an handicap with her b1tchy friends.
But she also was used to dress good in any occasion, never seen her with flip flops or trashy attires.

ps. Im nowhere as good looking as the first one or as rich as the second one.

 

[Slickster]

ive never dealt with this in the past with other women, so id like advice from others.

my girlfriend of a few months, has been suggesting she buy me items of clothing to "upgrade" my style. i have a more youthful style, streetwear, a 5 panel cap, huf tee, and dry denim,and janoskis. its who ive always been. expensive stuff nonetheless but nowhere near the conservative background she comes from.

she suggests more preppy dressy attire, less assimilated to character, more assimilated to fitting in. hearing this has actually made me less attracted to her.

i made it very clear im not going to sacrifice my individuality to impress anyone but myself. it ended up in a blow out where by she was so frustrated she wanted to "evaluate our future". but of course she cried and came back around.

i still stuck to my guns knowing damn well she fell for the edge i portray. is this just **** testing my integrity or are there underlying psychological issues to worry about here?

How old are you?

If you are say 40ish and still dressing like you are 20 then maybe she just wants you to dress more your age or more classy.

Don't get me wrong, dress how you want to dress and stand your ground if she is trying to change you. I'm just considering her motives. I would never let a woman pick out clothing for me. I may ask her opinion though if we happen to be out shopping.

I don't agree that women want you to dress "less attractive" to ward off other women. Maybe women who are super insecure might do that but in my experience women want me to look my best.

I do know some guys who are late 50's even early 60's who dress in the style you are describing and frankly I think they look pretty foolish. It's like they are trying way too hard to look young.

I've never understood men who are overly concerned with fashion or trying to express themselves through their clothes. Seems pretty feminine to me. Once again, don't get me wrong. I like to look good too but I certainly don't think about it too much.

The conformity argument is pretty silly too because if you are buying your clothes from any major retailer then so are millions of other people. It is almost impossible to be unique unless you get really "out there."

Do you plan on keeping the same style your entire life? Will you still wear the same style when you are 40, 50, 60, 70? Or will you eventually evolve?

Something to consider.

 

[Tictac]

Your frame is yours.

She's welcome to enter.

But when she starts re-arranging the furniture, maybe it's time for YOU to 'evaluate our future'.

 

[Outlaw_]

Your frame is yours.

She's welcome to enter.

But when she starts re-arranging the furniture, maybe it's time for YOU to 'evaluate our future'.

I agree, but I will still accept her gifts with a Thank You and put them on the shelf for when I want to try something new.

She obviously is trying to change the OP, which is normal for a woman to want to improver her man. Having a backbone in regards to this is the proper way to handle it.

 

[Zunder]

You may be surprised to hear I don't have a problem with your woman doing this. Rather than trying to "change you", I look on it as a good sign that she wants to "fuss over you" in regards to buying you some new clothes. She wants people to look at you and think "wow, look at that guy she is with"! It's a good sign.
If she tried to tell you what career you should be doing, or who your should vote for, or what car you should drive - well that's a totally different kettle of fish. But this clothes thing is nothing to worry about.

 

[scrouds]

Don't look for the negatives right away. Listen to her advice, think about it and make your own choice.

Simple.

If she pushes it after you've made a choice, lay the smack down.

 

[FairShake]

i have a more youthful style, streetwear, a 5 panel cap, huf tee, and dry denim,and janoskis. its who ive always been.

I kind of agree with her. That stuff isn't really edgy anymore. It's just dorky.

Not saying you are a dork but since Turtle from Entourage that look has screamed "dork" if you are over 17 years old.

She likes you anyway and that's how to frame it. It sounds like you need help and she is willing to HELP you.

 

[jazzpur]

turtle from entourage? i dont think you are clear on anything im mentioning here.

heres an actual outfit of mine, 1966 vintage madris, nudie slimjims, and jano's

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1372/4720620235_be0b360459_b.jpg

where as, she wants to dress me like im walking out of a ralph lauren outlet, her idea of "cool"

btw im 30. i do agree style should evolve with age but i by no means feel i dress too young.

its more like shes trying to reinvent my image to suit her own tastes