I am on the path of being a rAFC to DJ. Now, I don't consider myself a full AFC, I know this might sound contradictory, but there are aspects of my life and marriage where I am the alpha. I just was not consistent, because I just couldn't tell the difference in my behavior. Now, having read a lot more, been introspective, and slightly self critical I see where I have been going wrong.
I am relatively young at 35 and married, and really a good wife. However, there a things I should have been doing that I wasn't. I am slowly turning things around and quite honestly it is amazing and simply astonishing the reaction and results I am getting by making small behavior changes.
When asked where we are going I simply say where we are going and not say "uh what do you think?" If I want something I say get me this or that, and guess what she gets it for me. I not playing evil dictator here, just doing things to reinforce my position, that I am the prize and provider here. Sexually, things have just been awesome! I threw the same ol same ol out, and just basically decided to do things as if I would not see her again, and I was stepping to work on the next one, so this moment better be good. Basically, make it so that she wanted more. I embrace my sexuality more. So, if I am interested she knows it and she is desired, but I am not needy. This part of things is key here, because now that I feel much more confident, I am not acting like I can't do without it. In fact I can, and if I really want to I can find it elsewhere. I know my real value and I know she knows it. Hence, the change.
Married AFC's have a lot more to lose so, if they are going down the path of rAFC to DJ, then I would suggest that they take their time, and make small changes. Going to the extremes won't help, and stating that you are changing will be a disaster.
First do some reading. Book of Pook, DJ Bible, etc.
Accept the fact that you have been doing some AFC stuff, and get over it.
Observe for about a week or so, what your actions and words of you and the significant other are. It will be eye opening.
Now, start embracing yourself and improving yourself.
Find a hobby, exercise, do something other than sitting at home watching t.v.
Make your changes bit by bit. Again, doing a wholesale shift will be shocking, so I don't recommend this.
Don't try to buy her upfront, but reward after you get what you want and need. Now, I am not saying don't be nice and get stuff for your wife, don't try to buy her, this is a losing proposition.
There's a lot more, but this should be enough for the moment.
I am relatively young at 35 and married, and really a good wife. However, there a things I should have been doing that I wasn't. I am slowly turning things around and quite honestly it is amazing and simply astonishing the reaction and results I am getting by making small behavior changes.
When asked where we are going I simply say where we are going and not say "uh what do you think?" If I want something I say get me this or that, and guess what she gets it for me. I not playing evil dictator here, just doing things to reinforce my position, that I am the prize and provider here. Sexually, things have just been awesome! I threw the same ol same ol out, and just basically decided to do things as if I would not see her again, and I was stepping to work on the next one, so this moment better be good. Basically, make it so that she wanted more. I embrace my sexuality more. So, if I am interested she knows it and she is desired, but I am not needy. This part of things is key here, because now that I feel much more confident, I am not acting like I can't do without it. In fact I can, and if I really want to I can find it elsewhere. I know my real value and I know she knows it. Hence, the change.
Married AFC's have a lot more to lose so, if they are going down the path of rAFC to DJ, then I would suggest that they take their time, and make small changes. Going to the extremes won't help, and stating that you are changing will be a disaster.
First do some reading. Book of Pook, DJ Bible, etc.
Accept the fact that you have been doing some AFC stuff, and get over it.
Observe for about a week or so, what your actions and words of you and the significant other are. It will be eye opening.
Now, start embracing yourself and improving yourself.
Find a hobby, exercise, do something other than sitting at home watching t.v.
Make your changes bit by bit. Again, doing a wholesale shift will be shocking, so I don't recommend this.
Don't try to buy her upfront, but reward after you get what you want and need. Now, I am not saying don't be nice and get stuff for your wife, don't try to buy her, this is a losing proposition.
There's a lot more, but this should be enough for the moment.
