Reconnecting, the RIGHT way

Psionic

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So the title got your attention, huh? :D
No, this isn't a pookesque dialectical essay with philosophical implications or anything, it's just me seeking advice from seductionists (read: Experienced).

I have a minor conceptual quandary with a girl with whom everything has been ok so far. Here's the necessary background: I'm a nontraditional college student at a college in DC and have a (late-evening) class with the target(?).

The reason I place the (?) after 'target' is because before today, I was sort of ambivalent about the prospect of hooking up with this girl. For example, after arriving at Douglass hall last Thursday, I found that class was cancelled, and happened upon this girl (upper end of the C-cup spectrum, attractive ass, good height, good dresser, apparently HSE, engaging - overall probably a strong 7.3), who I had noticed during the past few sessions.

To make it short, she basically solicited the notes from the last class session out of me and used that as fodder for conversation. I suggested finding a copy machine, and conversation ensued.

During the convo, she was asking most but not all of the questions, you know, basic logistics stuff (i.e. major, living situation, time in school) but there were a LOT of them (questions), and the vibe was one of attraction.

After the transaction, SHE suggested that we exchange numbers you know, "just in case she missed class again" ;). After we had done so, I replied with: "You know, I may get bored and call you just because," which I later regretted (reason: rude?/unaggressive). I never called.

Anyway, I decided after seeing her looking good today that I would ask her to "hang out" later in the week. After class, I happened to be behind her as she was walking to catch the shuttle. I noticed that she had initiated some sort of cell phone call; a little bit of a distraction for me; a slight bit demotivating (I don't enjoy approaching women engaged in cell phone convos). Anyway, I caught up, called her by name - at which point she turned around and slowed down slightly, not saying anything - and started walking with her.

This was slightly awkward as noone was saying anything. I was trying not to interrupt the phone convo (which was dominated by silences), but maybe should have.

Anyway, we reach the general vicinity of the shuttle. I ask "Are you going toward the Towers?" (Her: shakes head and points toward the shuttle, STILL on the phone).
-I figured that I might as well ask at this point, not that I was particularly nervous; it's just that once I decide to make that move, having had sufficient IOIs from a target, I generally make it a rule to do it.

So, I ask (again distractedly since she was still on the phone - some sort of business call apparently): "I was just going to ask you what you were doing later in the week."

She just says: "I have to (points to phone), I'll talk to you Thursday," (the day of the next class, consequently an exam day).

I'm generally not one who gets turned down often, perhaps b/c I am noticeably above average in looks, and screen for IOI, but this had me a little bit out of sorts.

Ok, I know I've made this long, but I wanted to illustrate the details of the deal.

Disclaimer:
This situation derives importance not from my being so desperately attached to the outcome - I have other options - but rather from the standpoint of the long-term implications of a mishandling of the situation (same class for entire semester) and also from a learning standpoint.

What do any potential respondents interpret as the social dynamics involved here? More explicitly, is there reason to be miffed or put off by the turn out so far? What would be the recommended course of action?

Options I can come up with:
1. call on Wednesday night and persist in asking the question - at the risk of appearing overeager?
- there's a potential conflict/advantage here (depending on how one views it) since this is the night before an Exam (a comprehensive outline of the 5 major periods in Afro-American history). She could be immersed in study; or appreciate the distraction that a call would bring.

2. Assume that we'll get a chance to interact on Thursday?
dynamics: -different test taking speeds
-it could be too late in the week to arrange a
meeting (goal: strike while the iron is hot)

3. Go out with another girl on Thursday (bartender - HB8; drawback: single mom), and let it all blow over?


Your feedback is appreciated.
 

Dukester

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Originally posted by Psionic
[B1. call on Wednesday night and persist in asking the question - at the risk of appearing overeager?
- there's a potential conflict/advantage here (depending on how one views it) since this is the night before an Exam (a comprehensive outline of the 5 major periods in Afro-American history). She could be immersed in study; or appreciate the distraction that a call would bring.

2. Assume that we'll get a chance to interact on Thursday?
dynamics: -different test taking speeds
-it could be too late in the week to arrange a
meeting (goal: strike while the iron is hot)

3. Go out with another girl on Thursday (bartender - HB8; drawback: single mom), and let it all blow over? [/B]
they all seem valid points. i would probably go w/ # 3. (a/b the single mom thing...

i dated a 20 yr old over the summer, and she had a kid. this was back when i was AFC, and wanted to be up her ass. for the 1st few months, there were no problems, and i got attatched to her kid. actually it got to the point where he'd call me dad, cuz he never saw his real dad. n e way, nothing wrong w/ dating a chick w/ a kid)

also, make another meeting time to meet w/ this girl from class. if she is a 7, why pursue and worry over it too much.

i would not call her at all, DEFINITELY NOT! talk to her b4 class thurs and see if u can make plans this coming weekend. if not, then dont really worry a/b it. you have plans w/ HB 8 thurs, so your week isnt ruined.

who knows, maybe she will realize how good you are, and beat herself up for blowing you off?

good luck, and i hope i helped
 

Psionic

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Dukester,

Thanks for your reply.

As far as dating single mothers goes, I've done so before, but generally find that the best age range of the child is 6mos - 2yrs. It seems that they are less cognizant of the role of a father at that age (so they are less likely to transfer or import that responsibility to you), and they are also cuter :). Single moms are also generally more approachable from my experience.

I appreciate the suggestion. I doubt I'll call her at this point until there is a clear-cut reason for doing so. If conversation ensues before class Thursday, fine; if not, okay.

Also, many times I find myself attracted to girls who I would objectively consider 7's, so I won't next her just because of that fact.

I just hope my bartender friend doesn't flake on Thursday as I will need a stress reliever after my test.
 

Psionic

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Update

I did a litmus test for interest after class Thursday. It appears to be limited to the realm of 'class correspondence,' according to her stand-offish behavior. She must think that I'm jockin or something. Hence...

NEXT!

This involves:
- removal of any anticipation associated to the potential of
hooking up with this chick
- disconnecting from reactivity to her behavior
- limitation of all expectations to strictly platonic

...
There are plenty of single, available girls on campus. A slight complication is finding one my age, however.

Just met a 26-year old sexy female named Melody.
She's planning to move to Texas after this semester, but the convo (group) flowed nicely and lasted about 10minutes. Dammit! Forgot to number close! (I need to work on my group interaction / maintaining agression and focus within the context of a group) Oh well, I'll probably see her again soon as she lives in my building. Again, no expectations, but the door has been opened.

The saga continues...
 
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