Ser_i
Don Juan
Just need this off my chest..
used to be a DJ without knowing it, then the one-itis syndrome like so many of us have experienced... I screwed up big time and there are only a few of you who can say they have done worst than I have.
but I must try to keep this short
-so I haven't spoken to her in 7 months,
-tried 2 months to make it up, and failed miserably
-had a serious relationship which went wrong cause my girl at
that time and I got confronted a lot of time with my one-itis < her girlfriends popping up randomly and asking redicilious questions creating a rift between me and my girl.
-she after 4 months makes several fake accounts and forces a reaction out of me on msn on which one time caused the definate end between me and my girl so we broke up.
-I sms-ed her one final time, that I won't take her **** like this trying to destroy my relationships (no response cause I once again confirmed I couldn't do without her)
-3 days ago Friday night, local club I went out with a FB who is a "friend" of hers aswell, we had about 2 seconds eye contact when that FB of mine started give me a hicky I and my ex still remained in eye contact during that hicky.. no expression just the emotionless empty look of nothing and everything at the same time look
-2 days ago saturday night, out with 2 very good friends, we had a blast till I noticed my one itis at some distance between the crowd, so meh I and my guys walk further passing her straight without looking at her. some 30 minutes later we walk back towards the first bar in the "club" which is near the exit and we are about to move to the club across the street, when another girl calls me, a "friend" of my one-itis, we talk, and she starts talking about the one time DJuanised her and how i was right aobut her boyfriend how they were having problems, we were very close, me implementing some nice kino work, holding hands.. fingers trough fingers if you know what I mean. hugging each other kissing each other occasionally on each others cheeks and lips but no tong as I'm not going.. she sais my ex is near us, and how I am feeling about her.. and slightly turn to my side as we are both sitting at the bar.. she's just staring at me, I'm just staring at her.. she has that expression from the previous night, i'm just smiling deviously as if I'm the devil himself.. and yeah I AM! w00t!
now comes the thing I'm not sure about, I was having a great time and I gotta hand it to my one itis.. SHE"S FRICKING HOT! 9,5 out of 10 and I'm not exagurating cause she's my one itis, I'm far after the losing my self and clouding my judgement stuff. and she had exactly those clothes on I said to her that I found looking best on her when I still was with her, on top of that she's wearing the neckless I gave her. so I look at her for about a few seconds this girl I was Kino -ing Danielle asks what i'm feeling, I'm just smiling and said to her, "nothing much, I think you can guess." she looks at me reaching for my hand "forcing" me to look in her eyes. so I look at my one itis first and then turn to her and say. "it's weird, after all that happened between me and her, and after all I've done to her. I mean She's basically 5 steps away from me yet our thoughts make the distance seem like we are watching at each other from across two mountain tops and a huge cliff is between us."
I'm wondering, cause I said those last words without to much thought but now thinking of it, it realy is redicilious that it is still like this... its been 7 months and her "message to me" should suggest I should approach her, and I realy wanted to that night but I couldn't bring my self to put me in a situation where she would gain control again.
now my question, is there anyway I can get to speak with her without giving out too much, I don't want to be turned down by her when I try talk to her...
this is not a I WANT HER BACK CRY, but a how do I get myself and her to talk again cause I think it would heal some of the mental injuries I've done to her.
so anyone with any suggestions.. please feel free to reply
used to be a DJ without knowing it, then the one-itis syndrome like so many of us have experienced... I screwed up big time and there are only a few of you who can say they have done worst than I have.
but I must try to keep this short
-so I haven't spoken to her in 7 months,
-tried 2 months to make it up, and failed miserably
-had a serious relationship which went wrong cause my girl at
that time and I got confronted a lot of time with my one-itis < her girlfriends popping up randomly and asking redicilious questions creating a rift between me and my girl.
-she after 4 months makes several fake accounts and forces a reaction out of me on msn on which one time caused the definate end between me and my girl so we broke up.
-I sms-ed her one final time, that I won't take her **** like this trying to destroy my relationships (no response cause I once again confirmed I couldn't do without her)
-3 days ago Friday night, local club I went out with a FB who is a "friend" of hers aswell, we had about 2 seconds eye contact when that FB of mine started give me a hicky I and my ex still remained in eye contact during that hicky.. no expression just the emotionless empty look of nothing and everything at the same time look
-2 days ago saturday night, out with 2 very good friends, we had a blast till I noticed my one itis at some distance between the crowd, so meh I and my guys walk further passing her straight without looking at her. some 30 minutes later we walk back towards the first bar in the "club" which is near the exit and we are about to move to the club across the street, when another girl calls me, a "friend" of my one-itis, we talk, and she starts talking about the one time DJuanised her and how i was right aobut her boyfriend how they were having problems, we were very close, me implementing some nice kino work, holding hands.. fingers trough fingers if you know what I mean. hugging each other kissing each other occasionally on each others cheeks and lips but no tong as I'm not going.. she sais my ex is near us, and how I am feeling about her.. and slightly turn to my side as we are both sitting at the bar.. she's just staring at me, I'm just staring at her.. she has that expression from the previous night, i'm just smiling deviously as if I'm the devil himself.. and yeah I AM! w00t!
now comes the thing I'm not sure about, I was having a great time and I gotta hand it to my one itis.. SHE"S FRICKING HOT! 9,5 out of 10 and I'm not exagurating cause she's my one itis, I'm far after the losing my self and clouding my judgement stuff. and she had exactly those clothes on I said to her that I found looking best on her when I still was with her, on top of that she's wearing the neckless I gave her. so I look at her for about a few seconds this girl I was Kino -ing Danielle asks what i'm feeling, I'm just smiling and said to her, "nothing much, I think you can guess." she looks at me reaching for my hand "forcing" me to look in her eyes. so I look at my one itis first and then turn to her and say. "it's weird, after all that happened between me and her, and after all I've done to her. I mean She's basically 5 steps away from me yet our thoughts make the distance seem like we are watching at each other from across two mountain tops and a huge cliff is between us."
I'm wondering, cause I said those last words without to much thought but now thinking of it, it realy is redicilious that it is still like this... its been 7 months and her "message to me" should suggest I should approach her, and I realy wanted to that night but I couldn't bring my self to put me in a situation where she would gain control again.
now my question, is there anyway I can get to speak with her without giving out too much, I don't want to be turned down by her when I try talk to her...
this is not a I WANT HER BACK CRY, but a how do I get myself and her to talk again cause I think it would heal some of the mental injuries I've done to her.
so anyone with any suggestions.. please feel free to reply
