Reason why some advice never works for you?

[Dirtheart]

Anyone who lives the same lifestyle as the author. That is, anyone who can seriously imagine going into a strip club, calling his favorite stripper stupid and fat, and crediting “****y and funny” and not his limousine parked out front as the reason she gives him the gift of genital herpes.

- Frankie, in his "reviews of various systems" post.



This quote is classic! Aside from the great sense of humour, the point here is particularly important, which is why it has inspired me to start this separate thread.

Ever wonder why your pick ups and cold approaches aren't working for you like they do for David DeAngelo and 90% of other successful PU gurus?? There's your answer!

While you have been beating yourself up for saying the wrong thing, standing in the wrong place, speaking with the wrong tone etc, the truth is, a lot of the material you have read will only work for you if you are wealthy or mix in "higher" circles.

Do you really think that HB10 fashion model everyone is drooling over is going to travel back home with you to your pokey little flat, just because you were C+F or neg hit her??? Think again!

Do you really think your confidence, humour, smile, posture and tone are going to give the average blue collar Joe an upper hand over some Armani-suit-wearing, Porshe-driving entrepeneur? God no!

Not all women are gold diggers, but most people are dazzled by money and success. David DeAngelo, Ross Jeffries, Mystery and 90% of all successful seducers have this in common or at least portray it.

The second fact is that any woman you can pick up within a few minutes are probably not very selective anyway and probably go with any guy who offers, regardless of whether he's a DJ, PUA, AFC or OAP. She has probably slept with half the neighbourhood within the last month, so congratulations, your ultra effective seduction techniques have just earned you a place on her tally, in between the postman and the drunken slob whose name she was too drunk to remember.

So before you start calling yourself a failure and wondering why David DeAngelo and others' advice are doing nothing but causing despair, take a look at what you are trying to achieve and if it's even feasible in the first place.

 

[comote]

This is so irritating, quit giving everyone an excuse to not succeed.

You are only a failure when you have accepted that you can not succeed.

There are plenty of average guys that score with hot women. Yes some guys will have an easier time of it due to there financial situation but that does not mean you should just stop trying.

You are right, many people are dazzled by power and money. Many are dazzled by many other things like ambition, intelligence, humor and looks.

 

[squirrels]

...and guys that are masculine and take responsibility for their OWN lives instead of b!tching about what they don't have and making excuses for not taking what they want.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Yeah, this thread is a real downer and goes against the spirit of the forum.

There's more to the world than just hot blonde bombshell strippers to be had, much more.

I think the real point here is the guy gets herpes for his trouble. Why would a DJ waste his time with a f*cking stripper?

DJing is about bettering yourself and bettering your life. Last I looked, trying to bang strippers isn't the jist of it.

Paying for sex is a chumps game.

 

[Caveman]

comote, squirrels and don juanabbe are very right.
You seem down lately, dirtheart. I remember seeing you post more positive things. Whats going on man?

 

[Dirtheart]

You seem down lately, dirtheart. I remember seeing you post more positive things. Whats going on man

You are right. I suppose you could say I’m going through another transition in my Djing/Seduction studies and I’ve become pessimistic about a lot of what I’ve been reading and learning. Well, perhaps not so much pessimistic as realistic.

I started off being totally naïve, believing everything I read, believing that guys like David DeAngelo and Ross Jeffries were giving me valuable advice for my benefit (thankfully I didn't pay for it!). Then I started focusing on all my newly learned techniques all the time. I had results, but I now realise I was never attracting women - they were already attracted to me and I was just noticing.

I tried speed seduction too and found that, despite sounding good, it was a load of impractical and ineffective trash.

I guess I’ve started to realise that most commercial seduction gurus are scam artists, preying on people’s insecurities and failures and feeding them false hope at an extortionate price! When listening to/reading them it’s easy to feel optimistic and inspired, fired up to make approaches, but we need to stop confusing optimism with naivity. Sadly a lot of people here are very naïve and I’ve been one of them.

My change in attitude has also been brought on by some personal experiences and experiments. I’ve had C+F, kino and neg hits fall totally flat, yet I’ve messed up approaches, broken “rules” and still got a number and a date from it. I have even reverted to some AFC habits and have seen great results from them.

Billions of people around the world are in relationships, multiple relationships and/or having wild sex right now, and I’m willing to bet that less than 1% of them used C+F, neg hits and other acclaimed techniques to get it!

I agree with previous comments that Djing is about self-improvement and self-content. It’s not about chastising yourself for failing other people’s pick up techniques and strategies or forcing yourself to act and say what you have been told by some self-proclaimed master seducer. A true DJ is the person who does things his own way, at his own pace, on his own terms and for his own reasons.

The best advice anyone can act on is: USE YOUR INITIATIVE! Read all the advice and guides you can, but use your own judgement before adopting any of it as truth.

 

[comote]

Great Dirtheart, glad to see some optimism in your post now.

 

[rgeere]

Dirtheart,

I agree with your reasoning, I agree with what you say, and there is a time and place in which this type of logic has factual meaning, but in the abstract I see a flaw motive for posting this...

Say you meet a passive wussy guy, not really ugly and not really all that hot. Maybe sort of average. Maybe he had a poor childhood and grew up not careing about himself and built a lot of mental barriers up to try to numb his feelings of rejection.

He comes to this website, he learns how to be ****y funny, he learns how to approach girls, he learns how to have a conversation.

He starts to practice the techniques on this website, but he loses the girl within days or in a week or within a month.

He goes back to the his passive wussy ways, and the girl realizes he is a fraud.

A guy comes along who doesn't use ****y funny, doesn't neg hit her, doesn't try to play games and manipulate her. He sees her for two whole years and they get engaged and marry...

The passive wussy guy sees the success of this guy, how he has confidence, how strong he has built himself up, and realizes what it was that he did wrong....

He subjugated himself to the principles of the matter, that ****y funny and everything else he has learn on sosuave were only tools to help him build up confidence and strength, and that if he was going to change he must recreate himself and to literally become the concepts of the tool of success.

He starts going to the gym, he takes karate lessons, he goes back to school to strengthen his mind. Mentally, physically, and spiritually he builds strength in himself...

He becoms confident in his abilities as a man, he is strong and able, and girls start to notice.

Stop subjugating yourself to the tools! Success comes from the inside, not from the outside!

 

[Caveman]

Right on, rgeere!

Dirtheart, listen to the man
For some this site has the 'fake it till you make it' ring to it. And basicly that's what it is.

I learned from this site to be confident and happy about life. It gave me a view of how women think and I feel that i really don't have to use any tricks at all. They are merely tools to help you get started.

If I get a number, i don't go waiting 2 days before i call her.. i call her whenever i feel like it. The difference is, i don't get walked over by women anymore. I recognize their 'game' and i can tell when they are testing. Stop thinking of life as being unfair. It's cold reality. Sitting around moping in a corner is not attractive. Like someone else posted here: It's all about the way you make others feel that will attract them. By having a positive attitude you are automaticly attracting people and besides that, you are gaining more and more confidence.

It is on to the next level for you, mate.

 

[rgeere]

Caveman, thanks for the further clarification.

Cheer up Dirtheart, you should be feeling a lot better after truly realizing these facts. Ween yourselves up and don't look back because greater things are coming,

Someday there will come a time to where we will not have to post here

 

[Dirtheart]

Reading it again, I can see how negative and cynical this post seems, but things are actually going very well for me right now. I'm getting interest, numbers and dates without really trying. I'm in control of my life, have quit smoking and am in the best shape of my life.

I appreciate what has been said and that people need to find their own path. The intention of this thread was not to dishearten people, but to wake them up from their naive fantasy world and the rules, techniques and bullsh!t lodged firmly in their mind.

When an AFC comes looking for help, most of what he reads is totally new to him and possibly the opposite of what he has been taught all his life. The only way he'll progress is by trusting what he reads and taking a leap of faith.

People like DeAngelo and Jeffries are profitting from this and that makes me sick! If they guaranteed success then that would be different, yet even the best pick up artists claim they have to approach 20 women or more to get 1 number?!?!?!

It's logical that if a technique fails more than 50% of the time, it doesn't work!!! So these "gurus" are just lowly con men!

If I said I had a technique for controlling dice that guarantees a 1 in 6 chance of working, would you buy it??

 

[Dirtheart]

I should add that I've noticed too many people falling back on these techniques and false hope instead of trying to improve themselves and their lives, and that's where it gets quite destructive.

Some people are thinking they can get away with being total slobs because as long as they have their list of techniques and tricks, appearance and attitude don't matter. This way of thinking inspires complacency and that is the worst enemy of the DJ.

In reality, if they took more pride in themselves they'd most likely multiply their success with women without even approaching.

 

[rgeere]

Well, ****y funny has helped me. Otherwise how else is someone suppose to go from inately passive to assertive without first becoming an agressive a-hole?

 

[Caveman]

C&F has helped me too but instead of it being a technique or a tool it has become part of my personality. I use it all the time.

So I see nothing wrong with adapting a technique or a tool that can gradually become a part of who you are.

A wise man once said: "You have to learn how to stand on your feet and put one foot in front of the other before you can walk"
(Heeeyy.. I suddenly remembered: that wise man was me!!! )

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Caveman
C&F has helped me too but instead of it being a technique or a tool it has become part of my personality. I use it all the time. So I see nothing wrong with adapting a technique or a tool that can gradually become a part of who you are.

Exactly, I sort of see this state of mind in concept as sort of a type of tool box. Though as far as adapting the tool to your own state of mind, by this means it's more the concept of the tool and not the tool itself that's doing the work for you.

Sounds deep!

 

[Caveman]

Uh... yeah.... let me think about that for a while... ... ? :{

 

[comote]

The way I got to where I am is by taking lots of false steps. Alot of what we learn about dj'ing has a ring of truth to it. Most of the basic things said do work.

The problem comes about when people expect these techniques to be a magic cure-all for everything. Anything worthwhile takes effort.

What eventually happens is that we internalize all the things we have learned and soon these techniques such as ****y and funny become mixed in with our personalities and become a permanent addidition to us.

At this point is when you will say all these techniques are
bullsh!t and you don't need them, just be natural. The problem is the natural you is not the natural you that you were when you first started learning how to seduce women. The natural you is someone who has read and written so much that it has become second nature.

 

[Caveman]

Exactly. You know how to put it into words.

These tools, techniques and understandings create our new natural us.

 

[Dirtheart]

Sure, C+F makes women laugh and is a good means of flirting. A lot of techniques being taught, including eye contact and kino are good for flirting. But flirting is about showing interest, not creating it.

I have integrated the C+F style into my personality a little more than I used to, but it has never made a disinterested woman feel attracted to me.

Yesterday I went on a date and, as an experiment, I broke lots of "rules". We spoke about politics, religion and lots of heavy "no go" topics. I bought most of the drinks. I never used C+F at all. I've been trying to look and act more masculine lately, but instead I decided to go back to my metrosexual image (a few women were checking me out on the way there and back too). I wasn't assertive in any way, and I even let her choose the venue.

I was not the DJ, nor the alpha male; I was just myself at my most comfortable. The only factors I abided by were eye contact, posture and confidence.

And yet, despite what many would call AFC behaviour, the date went perfectly. We both relaxed and spoke like we'd know each other for years. She is totally keen on me and can't wait to see me again.

You see, I have realised that I used to get lots of interest from women even as an AFC. My only problem back then was lack of confidence, either preventing me from pursuing opportunities or turning off women I was dating.

I feel now like I've gone through another transition. I've reached my "better self" and left all the acts and "false steps" behind me.

 

[comote]

I disagree Dirtheart when you say

"I was not the DJ, nor the alpha male; I was just myself at my most comfortable. The only factors I abided by were eye contact, posture and confidence. "

You were being natural and hade a comfortable and good attitude. This is as "DJ" or "alpha" as you can get. If you are comfortable talking about those sorts of things yet still be able to avoid "preaching" which is what alot of guys do when talking about these things you should be fine.

Flirtation is about both showing and creating interest. Whe you are comfortable showing interest some women are immediately charmed by that.

You have internalized alot. Good luck with this girl something about your post gives me a positive feeling about the situation.