Really Puzzling Co-Worker...

youdon'tsay17

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There is a lot to go into...so I appreciate anyone that can provide any feedback and thanks for reading


The beginning: Married Co-worker (I'm also married with a baby daughter) has acted quite odd around me since I started over 6 months ago she used to (and still does frequently) pop up everywhere I was (staff room, kitchen, mail room).

I ignored those things but found them amusing, she often comes past my desk and teases me and asks if I am working hard or says thing like you look busy.

It has now got to the stage where she she is always coming past my desk on a route that she doesn’t need to go on, is now saying good morning, often with a nice smile and has a few times touched my arm and said Hey…she often stops for chats and has asked me a great deal of questions over time.

I’ve seen her watch me talk to other Female co-workers and at meetings she seems to linger around or is sitting in a seat where she is in direct range of where I sit.

But recently it got back to me that she called me a creep behind my back and as I didn't want to confront her for fear of her thinking I was harassing her or making her uncomfortable I spoke to my team leader.

My team leader told me that she did say those things but it was taken out of context and she told me that I said some things that made her uncomfortable, when I asked my team leader how can that be?, I hardly spoke to her and I can actually recall conversations I had with her and they were polite conversations about work, how long had she been there etc I was told she didn't really say what the things were and after the meeting went home in tears.

She approached me today and wanted to chat and apologize ended up telling me that she was sexually assaulted at a young age (would you tell someone you have only known for 6 months this?), burst into tears (it was quite awkward to be honest) told me she wanted to quit, didn't mean what she said and told me that I was a really Friendly older Guy and it was weird for her (for the record I treat her exactly the same as my other colleagues and I work with over 50 Women in my job) more was said but it's not important, she apologized and I said I forgave her but I find it hard to trust her and that we must move on and be professional.

I am really puzzled as there are other older Guys working there and i have seen them ask her how her weekend was etc but she only has the issues with me?

After the chat she kept coming to my desk and asked general questions and at one stage came past and said "I don't even know why I am walking down this way" haha

Not only that but her ex-Friend that told me that the comment was made at work while the Girl says that it was made outside of work.

A good Friend told me that she is projecting her insecurities on me, if this is the case...why?
 

ERB

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3 things from me
1st- don't get involved with women at work
2nd- what somebody say or thinks about you is none of your business
3rd- find the bible at the top of this page and read it twice
 

youdon'tsay17

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3 things from me
1st- don't get involved with women at work
2nd- what somebody say or thinks about you is none of your business
3rd- find the bible at the top of this page and read it twice
Thanks ERB, I really appreciate your reply. I disagree with no.2 though: if a fellow colleague is bad mouthing you and others in the team then that person should be spoken to and shown that the behavior is not acceptable or professional, calling me a creep behind my back is offensive and degrading.

I'm not sure what you mean by involvement. I don't have her on any social media or have her cellphone number or associate with her or anyone else outside of work, with the exception of a female Friend who I worked with in a previous job and who knows my Wife and Kid personally.

Again this Girl said that I was a really Friendly Older Guy and it was weird for her but like I stated, I treat her exactly the same as the others.
 
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Slickster

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It's kind of odd that a married guy is posting with such detail about this encounter.

She is obviously attracted to you. It seems like she is putting feelers out to see how you respond.

I don't know why you would give a sh!t about any of this BS. She may be interested. So what. She called you a name. So what. Unless of course if you want to cheat on your wife and kid with an unstable woman who is classless enough to cheat on her husband. Sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer to me.
 

youdon'tsay17

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It's kind of odd that a married guy is posting with such detail about this encounter.

She is obviously attracted to you. It seems like she is putting feelers out to see how you respond.

I don't know why you would give a sh!t about any of this BS. She may be interested. So what. She called you a name. So what. Unless of course if you want to cheat on your wife and kid with an unstable woman who is classless enough to cheat on her husband. Sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer to me.
Thanks for your reply Slickster...why I would "give a sh!t about any of this BS" is because a former colleague ignored the advances of a former colleague and she got pissed about it and went to HR about harassment, she used emails and texts against him, she didn't win but my point is that I have been taking note of everything she has done to protect myself, my Wife and Child and my employment in case any of that kind of BS happens, I am sure that doesn't spell out Jerry Springer and you said it yourself She is obviously attracted to you...the feeling is not mutual and I am making sure I haven't done anything to give her the wrong idea.

Thanks again.
 
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