Really good 1st date: When should I call her to hang out again?

[otr4]

I realize this is a common question, but I need an exact answer on what you guys think would be the best thing to do so I don't screw this situation up.
I went on a date with a girl this past tuesday (three days ago) and I want to see her again. Our first date went well: we we're really comfortable around each other, she laughed a lot and seemed to enjoy herself, she kept the conversation going, asked questions about me, and even brought up sexual innuendos.
I don't want to come off as needy or desperate, but I want to see her again as soon as possible. Should I call her this weekend, or would this be to early to ask her to hang out again? When would be the best time to contact her again?

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

As soon as possible... If it really went that well and you had alot of fun I usually just send an SMS after the date or simular telling I had a really good time etc... Then the girl usually calls me or sms me 2-3 days later or if she don't I will and we end up doing something again. It's as easy as that. There is no fvcking point in waiting a week or whatever, some DJs here will probably mow me for this but fo to them.

 

[squirrels]

Next time you get some time free and feel like doing something where you might want her along, then invite her.

Don't go out of your way to set up a date, but don't wait "just because SoSuave says to 'wait 7 days'" or whatever. Call when you feel comfortable. If you rush into it, it's going to feel more desperate than comfortable, and if you worry too much about seeming to anxious, then it's also going to feel awkward.

 

[Rondavu]

I need an exact answer on what you guys think would be the best thing to do so I don't screw this situation up.

You can't have one, because there is not one. We live in a dynamic world, not inside a mathematical equation. Being smooth is all about adjustments to suit your environment, kind of like martial arts. Just like a drug addict avoids that voice in their head telling them to shootup if they wanna get better, you have to ignore the voice that is saying "Ya ya, call her, me horny!". Find your reasonable side and discover what's appropriate.

Men want women more than women want men. That's the bottom line truth. If you wanna be desirable to her, you have to find some way to reverse that a bit to at least equal. Maybe it is equal desire that you have with her right now and good for you. Women can smell your desire a mile away though so don't allow her to instinctually default to allowing you to want her more than she you. She won't respect you for allowing her to control the situation too much. That's when things start to fall apart. That's the friend zone.

I don't want to come off as needy or desperate, but I want to see her again as soon as possible.

To me this is the key. You have two choices with this. You can either act like your not being needy or desperate, or you can just NOT be. You need to figure out how to NOT be. I read a good quote yesterday....

"The trouble with making everything a life or death situation is that you'll die a lot"

If this falls apart will you ask "How could I let her get away?", or will you ask "How could she let me get away?". Allow her to shoulder at least half the responsibility for trying when it comes to you and her. If not your being a chump.

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by otr4
I realize this is a common question, but I need an exact answer on what you guys think would be the best thing to do so I don't screw this situation up.

There is no exact answer, like the earlier poster said. In fact, the more stressed out you are about screwing it up, the more likely it WILL get screwed up.

Your mindset should be to have FUN, not to play by some plan to make the situation works. You have to have the attitude that things don't always work even if you follow everything to the T. So bottom line is don't try to fix up some elaborate game-plan, dating is not a science.

 

[tracy1122]

do what feels right- i think the bottom line is when you really are interested in someone, you want that person to know- and if they feel the same, they will be glad you showed interest. the last guy i went out with, if he called me hte next day to go out, i wouldve been jumping with joy! go with your gut-

 

[seulaxplaya]

dont call her

if it was that great shell call you eventually and just go from there. And if you dont like this suggestion just go with your gut feeling

 

[jbbrain]

whats happening here?

OTR-

Wasnt it you who was posting not so long ago about dealing with trust with your girls guy friends...?

What happened with that chcik? I'm assuming something went wrong seeing that youre dating now..maybe I missed something, but Id liek to know what happened with your (presumably) ex.

Yeah baby...

 

[otr4]

Hey jbbrain and everyone else:
Yeah, I had to break it off with the last girl I was seeing. It got to the point where I just couldn't trust her or put up with her hanging around so many guys. She had some guy "friend" come and stay at her dorm from out of town--she said that they were not staying alone togther, but with other friends, but I just didn't believe her. I pretty much know she wasn't f****** him, but the fact that she would hang out with a guy like this, not introduce me to him and then be SUPER pisssed off if I were to do the same thing was just to much bull**** to put up with. PLUS, when I went to her dorm after this guy had left, I found that this guy had written on my girl-friends list of things to do (which she keeps on her door), "marry Sean" (him). What a bunch of crap! When I asked about this she said he was "joking." Yeah right! Like some guy would write that about a girl he had no interest in.
On the whole, I decided I would NOT put up with any disrespectful behavior from her again.
WHAT I"VE LEARNED: ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS, have other spare girls on hand. Nothing has helped me deal with this break-up better than having other girls to date. I went on a date with the girl I mentioned in this post TWO days after I broke up with my girlfriend--and plus, this girl is A lOT hotter and cooler than my last girlfriend. Keep this in mind guys--and thanks, jbbrain for asking.