Really down... kinda girl related but more related to my life. Help?!

[silverwex]

Hey guys,

First of all i wanna say thanks to you all for helping me out over the past few months, if it wasnt for you all i wouldnt know all these techniques etc for getting the babes and it has helped me a lot!

Now, a lot of you may know that i have a bit of one-itis at the moment. But the good thing is that it has helped me realise one thing - if i am to be truly happy etc i need to get away.

Heres my situation:

Ive been living at home for 21 years now and im getting a bit depressed about it. I was meant to go to college in england (i live in ireland) last september - but alas, i didnt go. Well i did go over and obtain my place but i got 'scared' and returned home. I feel just too safe and secure here but i know deep down if i dont get away soon ill be stuck here for the rest of my life.

Did ya ever get that bad bad feeling of one-itis? Well multiply that by 10 and thats how i felt when i was away. I felt sick i was so lonely. Although i didnt give it a proper chance i still got the bad feeling.

Now, ive a load of good friends here where i live, but come september theyll all be going back to college and ill be left on my own here.

Some of you may say i should get a place with my mates in their college towns etc but i really dont like anywhere else in this country enough to do that. I have this weird liking to england but i know if i go there i wont know anyone and itll be the most lonely feeling ive ever felt. So im stuck in a rut here.

Unfortunately for me, i base my life around girls. Lets just say i met a babe here (where i live), i wouldnt do anything with my life until she dumped me or whatever and then id go all depressed about it again and think of moving away and then id meet some other girl and the cycle would happen again.

Can anyone offer me some advice? OR tell me a (true!) story about when u went away to college, or a city far away from your home where u didnt know anyone?

Im very down at the moment. Thanks guys.

 

[silverwex]

Ps - I know its real bad but ive never lived away from home either!

DOnt get me wrong though, with my mates and girls i know im seen as one of the leaders and one of the 'cool' guys but deep down im fairly down in the dumps and lost.

 

[bugsquish]

Hey again silver,

Yea I read most of ur posts so I know whats goin down. If u read any of mine u probably know a bit about my situation too. I lived with my parents until about 4 months ago (and I'm 24!) and developed serious one-itis with my 4 year ex Emma. When things broke up with her I (by sheer fluke I guess) ended up with 2 girls at once which almost made up for Emma.

But when that ended (as I knew it would) I ended up damn depressed and more of an AFC than ever. The place I lived was pretty small so the whole nexting thing wouldn't have worked. To make it worse my friends down there have a bit of an anti-social clique thing going and just want to sit in the house all the time. They're AFCs and just don't give a **** about meeting women.

And me, like you, had an obsession with meeting the right woman. I guess I was at breaking point. If I didn't change my life bigtime I woulda done something stupid. So in a fit of despair I got up and put all of my energy into finding a job up here in Glasgow, and a house. About time I left home anyhow.

I answered an ad for sharing a house with 2 other people. That helped cuz I had 2 friends by default from the start. I also met some people at work who I get on with. But none of these people are people I could go out meeting girls with so I was still kinda screwed there.

For the first 3 months I kinda relied on getting my friends up from Ayr. But then I found this site and it helped me get into the right mindset for making friends as well as meeting women. I have started going out to my favourite club alone. At first it was hard but now I've been going a while there are always people I can talk to or dance with. And girls

I'm still pretty lonely I guess, but it's getting better over time. I'm sure it will KEEP getting better too. And I haven't regretted coming here for one second. All I can say is, folow the classic DJ advice: if you're not happy - do something about it. Put all your energy into changing your life. You'll feel empowered.

Oh, and Scotland is highly recommended. People LOVE the Irish up here.

Where in Ireland do u live? Is it a city? What sorta music u into?

 

[Paul Owen]

I had the same thing before moving to London. And when I did move down here I felt real lonely because it is such a big, scary place. But inevitably I made friends and met my current girlfriend down here.

You just have to take the plunge. If you have lots of friends where you live now, you are obviously the sort of person who doesn't have problem making friends. Once you make friends you will have a social circle which will introduce you to girls. Then you just have to apply the stuff you have learnt here.

Good luck.

 

[silverwex]

Hey guys, thanks for the advice.

I live in a big town in the south-east of ireland. Im not much into music - just listen to whats on the radio although i like dance a fair bit.

Yeah sometimes i feel like "hey what am i doing here? i should be away and take the plunge and test myself" and then a while later i get this bad bad feeling of intense lonliness and think "wow, i dont wanna feel that again! but i suppose ill have to if im to go away!"

Fukked up situation i know, but as they say "everyones gotta do it sometime!". Just not sure when my time is! College is due to start in september and i still havent applied - not sure what i wanna do anymore.

Thanks again tho guys!

 

[Gman]

hey man.
Guys I am so glad to read your posts. You have recognised you have a problem, and you are trying to find a solution. What more can you ask for? Just dont be like me, who gets so bogged down in their probs and thinks the same rubbish over and over again. Just think a little, then do. i say this and yet i still cant apply this advice to myself.

I was really impressed to hear about the gy who went to scotland to change his life, to set up home wit 2 strangers, then to GO OUT TO A CLUB ON HIS OWN. In my narrow socially dictated mind, goin to a club on ur own would be like admitting ur a loser. Thats all a load of rubbish. People do all sorts of things to achieve their goals, nothing's ridiculous, so long as it dont harm anyone. And I see nothing wrong with going out on ur own any more.

Plus dont be scared of being lonely. Remember, everyone finds someone, eventually. Its biology. So even if in the short term nothing seems to b happening, bear this undeniable fact in mind: everyone finds someone eventually.

 

[bugsquish]

Hey Gman thanks for your kind words about my plight! It was the best thing I have ever done. I don't consider myself to be going alone now, because I have made loads of friends at this club and I make more every time I go out.

Best of all, this HB8.8 chick I have been bumping into for weeks finally succumbed to my charms and I spent last night screwing her brains out