Really Complex Situation

[ebey11]

Ok well I've known this girl (HB9) since about grade 11 (I just turned 20), but she had a boyfriend all throughout highschool, and I was pretty AFC at the time. Anyways we were ok friends but never really hungout too much much, maybe 5 times total. I moved away right after highschool but we kept in semi-regular contact. She even told me during this time that she had a crush on me back in the 7th grade, before we'd even ever talked to one another.

Anyways, she just moved to the same city as me at the beginning of September and is now single. We went to see a movie together within the 1st week she moved here (she initiated contact) but she brought her neice along. At the end she said to me "We're gonna hang out a lot together now, right?" and I said "Maybe, if you're lucky."

We ended up going to a comedy show together and shopping together twice within the next couple weeks. There was definitely a lot of flirting and IOI's being given. The kino was pretty light, she "hip-checked" me a couple times and punched me in the arm too many times to count. I was trying to escalate really slow since we're friends and a sudden change would've definitely been weird.

Over the next month I ended up calling her once or twice a week but we never actually got together, she flaked probably 3 times but were all pretty just reasons (a school project, had to babysit) so I played it cool and acted unaffected.

Eventually she called me and said "we're going to see a movie Tuesday." I said nah, let's go ice skating instead and then we'll go somewhere else as a surprise. Well Tuesday was a really nice day so she said no ice skating just the surprise and she was only wearing sandals when we met so I couldn't force her. The surprise was an ice cream place with 200+ flavours. Anyways this time there was a bit more kino. I had my hand on her knee for about 30 seconds during the bus trip. Along the way I said it she was frustrating to try and hang out with and she said that I love it and then that I love her. Then I said that she loves me more and she said that we probably love each other equally which is the best kind. I told her that it was sexy how committed and dedicated she was to school later. Eventually we met up with her friends at the beach and things kinda fizzled from there except for a thump wrestle. I kept up the teasing and c+f the whole way though. Saying about 350 when asked what I thought she weighed etc.

After that I called and set up plans to go skating this past Saturday. She said OK but when I called she didn't answer. She said she was sleeping later. I made plans with her to go to an amusement park halloween thing today but I cancelled on her yesterday because I legitimately forgot that I had a date with another girl I just met tonight.

I'm pretty sure I have to lay back for a bit and then go for the k-close. My games definitely been less than usual with her because it's hard dealing with an old friend but I'd definitely want to have a serious relationship with her. I'm pretty sure I'd have no chance at all if I weren't pretty good looking. Since she told me she had a crush on me in grade 7 and because of other things I'm pretty sure she's physically attracted to me which is my only saving grace at this point but I'd definitely like to hear some feedback on what I should do.

 

[aussiegoat55]

I didn't read the whole thing, but you'r tying to hook up with a girl you once knew four years ago, something along those lines?

Stop living in the past! There are plenty of fish in the sea, go out and reel in a great catch, one who doesn't flake on you.

But it's a good idea to improve the inner game and construct a solid confidence before you begin thinking about hooking up or getting laid. Baby steps, walk, don't run.

 

[skirtChaser]

you are trying to have a A- game, but its pretty obvious you are needy and I'm sure she can see it. put it on the backburner, take a step back wait till she contacts you.

 

[mofro]

I didn't read it all either (sorry...got a lot of homework that I shold be doing right now). I just wanted to say that I met my current gf of 10 months this way. I was an afd in highschool, she thought I was cute (even told the other girls but word never reached me), but was faithful to her bf throughout hs. We talked online after hs, and eventually she invited me to a movie. A year later I was bored one night and caller her up. Flirted a little, but kept my distance (might have helped that I had since grown a beard, longer hair, and brought a 6 pack of good beer to the event...had to lie to her friends parents about my age). Within the next two weeks I had stayed with her at her apt and messed around a bit, didn't go all the way...she didn't try either which I took as a good sign (not a slut...won't screw a guy till she really really knows and trusts him). After that I had to go back to my own school, but we kept up the flirting electronically with texts and aim (had hundreds of texts to/from her in one month...yes we talked a lot). Wound up splitting plane tix for her to see me on her spring break which is when we finally went all the way. We had one summer together and got along great. Discovered that we're basically the same person but opposite sex.

She tells me now that she was showing signs of interest ever since i saw her that night with the beers, but that she wasn't sure i liked her. I fixed that when she said 'i miss you' and i invited myself to her house to 'fix that problem'. Screw patience, just go for it. Game doesn't need to be developed, just be yourself and if she likes you she likes you, if not she would eventually realize it anyways. If you do want to change, do it once you have her, it'll keep her wondering who you really are. Personally, I never "gamed" my gf. I told her I love her before we had had sex, for instance, despite it being against the rules.

Good luck

 

[mofro]

Oh yeah, and too bad if you're needy. She should provide and you will make her want to. Set limits of course, and be firm with them. Say "until we have sex no phone calls over 10 minutes", for instance. If she asks why just say that rules are rules, she'll understand this as flirting AND want to make you break the rules. You're not asking her for sex, you're telling her that she wants it.

 

[mofro]

Ok now i read your whole post about her potentially loosing interest. At this point she knows you're into her, and is maybe a little afraid that you won't present any game at all. Find a way to see her one more time, tell her you ****ed up earlier, got ahead of yourself and she doesn't deserve that kind of special treatment (the icecream, "you're so special" talk, etc) yet.

Say "I thought you were really into me, but now that I think about it, you weren't". Then criticize yourself for being so bad at reading people (ESPECIALLY useful if you're in fact skilled at shining (you've seen the movie right?)). If she's just your friend by now she'll want to tell you that you're wrong and that you ARE good at reading people, but she'll be afraid to say it because that implies that she was into you. It'll get her mind off the fact that you acted AFC for a day. What she'll be thinking instead is that "this guy has the potential to be really sweat, but he's also going to be a challenge AND can acknowledge his mistakes in a sly way".

Physical attraction doesn't turn off that easily, she still wants you, but don't be so easy to get next time!

 

[hbxdoode]

i read your thread, but am not sure that i understand completely. anyhow, its a hard situation that you're in, since you guys have been friends for so long. maybe you're in the friendzone. its really hard to read them sometimes, when you think that they're into you, they're really not, and vice versa. Well atleast she is physically attracted to you, that's a really good start. but now you have to attract her mentally. open up her mind through good conversations. take her to places she's never been.

 

[ebey11]

Well she asked me to lunch tomorrow. It's gonna be hard to k-close from there so I'm doubting going. I'm thinking I'll try and get her back to my place to show her something and then kiss her there, but it might be weird since it's during the day. Don't think I've ever k-closed during the day.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Its obvious your lacking Escalation skills...

You've hung out so many times and that little kino? Do you really want to have a sexual relationship?