**** tonight sucked. Went to a bday party for a guy I know. Pre-drinking at his place with a bunch of guys and then we went to this club. The club itself sucked, there wasn't many people there, and most of the girls there were black (don't find black girls attractive). Anyway, the club is in 2 sections, me and my friends stayed in one section pretty much by ourselves. There were a whole 4 girls there as well (with probably 10 guys). Anyway, just wasn't feeling it tonight, didn't at all feel like approaching anyone. Even when one of my friends said that some girl was checking me out I didn't believe him (was proven right when I went to dance with her and she ignored me, plus I think she ended up leaving with the guy who's bday it was, saw them kissing when I left). Even my friend probably got some (he has a girlfriend, so if he didn't get any then he just choose not to). I honestly don't think I can change, can't force myself into situations that will improve me further. I just keep doing the same things over and over.
I'm honestly glad that I'll be starting school again in 2 days, at least then I'll have something to concentrate on. Usually when I concentrate on something other than women I feel better about myself and forget about women entirely. Could be anything, even concentrating on a video game will do it. I know that I won't be having sex anytime soon (if ever), so I don't see the point in thinking about women and becoming sexually frustrated (it's a ****ty feeling, I know).
I'm writing this for 2 reasons. One, it's mainly a drunken rant. And two, I hope none of you waste time trying to help me if I ***** in the future (which I might), I'm beyond any help you can provide on these forums. I'm just a ***** that can't do anything.
I'm honestly glad that I'll be starting school again in 2 days, at least then I'll have something to concentrate on. Usually when I concentrate on something other than women I feel better about myself and forget about women entirely. Could be anything, even concentrating on a video game will do it. I know that I won't be having sex anytime soon (if ever), so I don't see the point in thinking about women and becoming sexually frustrated (it's a ****ty feeling, I know).
I'm writing this for 2 reasons. One, it's mainly a drunken rant. And two, I hope none of you waste time trying to help me if I ***** in the future (which I might), I'm beyond any help you can provide on these forums. I'm just a ***** that can't do anything.