Reality

[Jerry Maguire]

There is a reason why I have been browsing these forums less and less.
The reason for this is because I feel that the posts and beliefs that generalise these forums are not congruent with reality.

For example, the thinking associated with sosuave is that you need to be the master of your own reality, your own mind, then girls will simply fall into your lap, and if they don't then **** them, we didn't really need them anyway.

Whereas, my perception of the world is that we all have our own realities, where we philosophise and form habits (good or bad) and outside our minds, is society. Now, I don't believe that your mind can influence society in that way that SS preaches.

For example, in your mind, your moral compass says it's ok to kill someone. In your mind, this is perfectly acceptable, whereas society punishes you for it.

This is comparable to you thinking, in your mind, that you are the prize. But in society, this couldn't be further from the truth.

In order to integrate and be accepted in society, we can't idolise some pie-in-the-sky philosophy where we are kings, and hope that everyone else believes this and worships you. In order to integrate and be accepted in society, we need to learn social dynamics and become congruent with them.

This is why I think websites and methods which teach techniques, such as Mystery and RSD will breed more successful people in this particular area than SS.

Yes, this website is a good eye-opener not to put girls on pedestals, etc but I'm sad to see that this website hasn't really progressed in any way since Pook's famous posts. The tips and posts are all regurgitated information and I think you guys would be a lot more successful learning and applying proper social dynamics.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Yes i agree,but i think in order to BECOME you nedd the ATTITUDE or atleast the BELIEF than you CAN.

 

[Mission]

It's not about living in a fools paradise. It is about looking at the world around you objectively, but you need to be in control of yourself and your emotions. You should know that it is unacceptable to break the law and recognize the consequences of your actions. That is being in control of your reality. You see, we let people in and out of our reality, those who are important are in, these are people you phone regularily etc. Those who are out are people who you could care less about, but treat them well because they exist at least and you have some knowledge of them.

It's not about saying "**** them" if the girls do not fall into your lap. You have to accept that not every girl is going to like you, this is about playing the odds with attractive women. I say "**** them" when I let them into my reality and they **** up by doing something unacceptable.

I do think however that people who are lacking social skill will be mislead by this site. This site is very useful however if you do have social skill but make mistakes you are otherwise unaware of.

--Mission

 

[Bvbidd]

That advice is given to you as it is assumed your already a normal, adjusted, social person.

For example a social guy that goes around all the time giving compliments and cheap gifts to girls and social guy that goes around all the time playfully teasing them.. I wonder who the girls find more fun. That's what the site is basically saying.

Mystery and all those uber PUAs I do not even concider normal or adjusted, so they probally are not the best to learn how to become social. The only way to learn how to be social and be accepted in society is to get out there and find out. That part can not be teached on a website.

For the complete loser yeah they probally would have better luck memorizing serious PUA sh!t and going out and trying to get laid and then eventually doing it. Then realizing it was not the methods but that they actually went out and did it. But this site is trying to say the same message without all the fake tactics.

Telling yourself your the prize over and over, won't really work. If anything it will make you more shy because you start to brainwash yourself into thinking anybody random actually cares about what you do. Just get out there with all this knowledge at the back of your mind and be confident.

 

[Mandiblard]

So basically, you have to BE a great man, not pretend to be one. Anyone can act. Why memorise jokes and pickup lines when you can make people happy just by being in their presence and saying hi?

For example, in your mind, your moral compass says it's ok to kill someone. In your mind, this is perfectly acceptable, whereas society punishes you for it.

Mine doesn't! I agree with the whole post except this, if someone thinks it's ok to kill someone they're sick! lol

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

What SS teaches is for the guy SEEKING women, to make the secondary primary, and the primary seconday. In other words:

1. You
2. Her

Normally guys put it:

1. Her
2. You

And thus begins the pursuit. IMO, specifically doing things to attract women is contrived, fake, needy, "leaning," and doomed to fail. I've never taken part in SS, RSD, or any other seminar. Maybe some guys here want that lifestyle, and if you do, then of course this isn't the place for it. As you mentioned "Jerry", guys have different philosophies on life. As a result, guys will act differently. Some guys might see the world as their oyster to crack, as a village to pillage, and will take and fvck as many women as possible. Other's may choose to live virtuous lives, only bedding down women they TRULY want. Still other's may do nothing.

What I feel ends up leading to dissatisfaction is DISILLUSIONMENT over what this place is, or what ANY place is. Speed Seduction may succeed in it's objective program to bring through the hoops toward success by offering tested systems of getting there. However, much like a SALES program, it will only bring you SPECIFIC prospects, or in this case SPECIFIC women, so you end getting women you like or don't like, or don't fit. In my case, I bar-hopped hardcore for 2 years, and most women never met my mother, my family, lasted long, or were deep in character. Most were very attractive, and hardcore partiers. By keeping ONE system, you define yourself and your outcomes BY that system.

SS can be seen as an MBA, in that, it's more WELL ROUNDED. The PUA stuff can absolutely KILL when you're a youngin' in high school, because acting like a jerk, peacocking, and other mindless games are NEW to the teenie boppers. However, a 30 year old man, or 40 year old man, won't score much poontang if he's still trying to read palms, or use C&F on women. I totally despise the fact Doc Lov uses CELEBRITIES, like "Would Colin Farrell bow to his chick, or let low interest creep up?" Are you kidding me? That's your comparison?

QUALITY chicks, as they get older, don't fall for that crap. It's outdated.

I'm come from higher levels of thinking, and then work back toward women. On a higher level, women are important, but if she doesn't make herself IMPORTANT in my life through her own actions and decisions, I'm not about to do it then. If you treat all people evenly, as I feel you should, then you can OBJECTIVELY compare her to other people in your life. And you should. Why should a woman, just because she's a woman, get grand status in your life over family or friends? She EARNS that. But so few men throw games at them, money, dates, and then they're afrad to stand BY their choices and virtues, that they buckle and the woman walks, or walks all over him.

I've honestly told girls I've known a month, a few months or a year, that yes, she's special, or important, but by NO MEANS does she supercede MY FRIENDS or MY FAMILY or MY WORK, that has been around for a LONG-time. That place is earned, through dedication and attitude. We, as men, assume nothing of our friends, and perhaps never should. Yet women, if allowed, will do it, and she will use EVERY emotional tool in the book UNLESS the man stops her.

---------------------

I will disagree on integrating to gain or benefit from society. This couldn't be any further from the truth. What is society but an ever-changing stream of fads and trends? So you want to assimilate into THAT, to gain what? Favor? Women? Money? You'd foresake your goals, your principles, your virtues, to gain what are TEMPORARY pleasures?

I agree on LEARNING communication, particularly with your own mind. But it is your REALITY. Only you can create or destroy in it. Only you can ALLOW someone to insert themselves into it. Most guys lose power because they're sucked into a woman's reality, a woman's perspective, which flows from her beliefs and emotions, whether they are solid or not. Whether they are cracked or not.

Women are but ONE compartment of life. And men today have it backwards. They work hard at whatever they do, they make enjoy life, and then tomorrow, like the wolf she is, she sweeps into your life and immediately you SWITCH your track to her. OR, you're constantly persuing. ENJOY women. Recognize them for what they are. Learn whatever you must to gain whatever you desire. Both ONS and LTR's are simple. WE make them tough. It doesn't take thousands of post to get this.

In the end, when you're old, or dead, or married, the one thing you're going to have wanted is probably NOT anything to do with women. It might have been more free to have enjoyed more women, but it won't be having much to do with women. It might be regret over not taking a shot on a certain woman, versus a relationship with another. But it won't be about women. It will be about lost time never spent on unfulfilled dreams. On wasted emotion on anything BUT happiness.


A-Unit

 

[Jerry Maguire]

Mine doesn't! I agree with the whole post except this, if someone thinks it's ok to kill someone they're sick! lol

Exactly, that was the analogy that I was making. In someones mind, it is acceptable to kill a person but to society, and yourself, it is completely wrong.

Just like a person who thinks that he is the prize in his own mind, but yourself, and others in society clearly doesn't think so.

 

[Jerry Maguire]

A-Unit, suppose someone from SoSuave takes the much gifted advice of posters here and, rightly so, realises that women are not everything. So they set theirselves goals, most commonly in health, wealth and relationships.

For example, in health, they may read or gain advice from professionals. In wealth, they'll read books on the subject, like Think And Grow Rich.

Now, dismissing health, because you don't particularly need to interact to take action in making yourself healthy and powerful, think about wealth.
You can't make any money in your own reality, as such, because you have to cater to the needs of other people.

I'm not saying you have to break your principles to make money, i.e. a gangster, or doing similar shady deeds, but you always have to think and market your product to other people.

So, moving on to relationships, if you are, like me, not naturally sociable, you have to learn the skillset required to be sociable. Where would one start? You clearly could take years and reinvent the wheel by socialising yourself and learning from your own mistakes. Or, you could learn social dynamics from people who have learned the hard way. But in my opinion, you can keep the principles and values you think are right, and not break them, while still applying tried and tested material, just like in a business.

As for this not making you "natural", I for one, and many others were never a natural in the first place. And part of the skills taught by others in the 'pick up' industry is social calibration, so I cannot see any valid argument there.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

What you call social skills, I call natural ability, THAT everyone has.
What I feel, and maybe some don't, and that's fine, is that you are UNLEARNING all the negative belief patterns that held/hold you back from doing and being everything you want. To me, that's it.

What stops you from saying HI to that hottie?

It's most assuredly going to be your own mind. You'll down self talk yourself to the point the MOMENT is lost. Either you theorize she has a girl, or you need the perfect line, or that you'll look like a desperate PUA, whatever. It's UNLEARNING the wrong patterns of thought, INSTALLING new ones so that you're effective.

A geek when he's younger can MOST definately become a GOD when he's older. It won't be EASY, but it can be done if he wants it bad enough. Heck, I didn't have a gf or a kiss til 17, and then it was like the dam broke. I never had anything to do with this site, or other sites. Rather, I focused on the fact that ONLY THE PRESENT MOMENT exists and matters, that life IS TOO SHORT FOR WORRY or for PVSSYING out. I feel that some sort of spirituality, perspective, or religion DEFINATELY helps more than skills.

As an analogy using a warrior...the skills that make any great warrior deadly ARE NOT his tools, or his hands, but HIS MIND. Any book, fake or real, any movie, fake or real, will support the same. Even in sports, the most gifted athletes don't always rise to the top, it's the athlete who wants it most and has average to above average skills. For Tiger Woods, he's elite because he has BOTH. There are LOTS of golfers who have the skill and lack the MIND to be as strong as he is.

In alot of cases to me social skills are just ASSUMPTIONS of PROPER ACTIVITY within the social matrix. It's like being a puppet. Everybody learns the same habit patterns. Yet it's the ones BUCKING the trend that end up best off and happiest. How often do people in society ACTUALLY feel...

...like nobody knows them?
...like nobody cares about them?
...like everybody walks all over them?
...like they never speak up about what they truly feel?

It's OVER COMPLICATION that kills most people in their tracks. A simple LOVE, and when I say LOVE, I mean the universal word, NOT the hugely over media-sized crap dropped on men by women and Cosmo. I mean LOVE. I mean POSITIVE expectation, that EVERYTHING is OK no MATTER what. Everything works out in the end.

Wealth, health, socializing are dervatives of ONE source, your mind, and you don't need millions of special techniques that make you such a SOCIAL robot that you might bind yourself up. You need a few. Maybe super-analytical types want many, and that's the ALLURE and trap of PUA/SS material; it's virtually endless when it comes to social dynamics. Everyday a new guy comes on suggesting he's found NEW fundamentals, yet they've been tested on a microcosm of the universe, AND, as a subject in his own test cases, it's contaminated anyways with bias. As a subject, and not an object, we can't objectively note what works and what doesn't, unless it's OVER a long enough time period with enough people (male or female).

Yes, the self-improvement road won't yield results conducive to women except in a SHOWY sort of way. "Hey I have money! Hey I have a body! Hey I have a great job!" But when you boil down to it, it's your spirit, your enduring personality, and your GOOD habits/actions that matter most; everything else are PRODUCTS of WHO YOU ARE.

I feel that self-ENLIGHTENMENT is a better term, and it gets to the CORE of it all. In most cases I've EVER seen, guys who fumbled with women were really ONLY fumbling with themselves. In ALL cases where guys were lacking women at the present moment, a few things were present...

1) They felt they needed to be something OTHER than what they were at that moment to Have a woman, i.e., they needed a body, a nice car, a nice apartment, more money, whatever.[ The problem with this thinking is it defies the law of attraction. When you see yourself IN POSSESSION of what you want in the present moment, you develop confidence you can and will have it. The mind will set to work on bringing what you desire and its up to you to find it.]

2) They got negative, and of course NO WOMAN wants to be that sort of man. He doubts himself and in turn women will doubt him. That's VERY deadly, and when you doubt yourself, women doubt you. One of the things women love about men is the LACK of doubt men have about things. Men will be confident to a fault, even if it gets them killed. Women like that, because they hope men will be AS loyal and doubtless about that woman.

3) They were in shambles in some area, for instance dress, health, wealth, whatever. Women will only reflect back things. You don't have to accept it. If you look like trash, but want classy women, it won't happen. But if you look like class, you can get any woman, even trashy ones.

**I had a buddy who PUT himself into his funk. He DOUBTED his ability to attract women. We talked David D night in night out, which was fun, but his insecurity to garner some social outcome and overanalyze EVERYTHING totally killed anything. The fact he was SEEKING an outcome automatically sucked the like and spontaneity of his interactions. Instead of saying/thinking things that might be unique to the girl, he said only things found on seduction sites, LIMITING his connectability with women. Quite often it's the NON seduction things that sell you a girl on you, NOT the seduction things. Of course, seduction masters would have you believe differently, since they can sell products endlessly by offering that belief out there.

In addition, a super cute cart girl works @ the course I play at regularly. Of course tons of guys hit on her, and she might even have a bf or husband, but who cares. I was seeking to make a friend. I know that instantaneous love connections don't happen often, so you seek to make a friend. If your limited to the present moment, and that's it, try to get the number, but if she isn't truly ecstatic now, she won't pick up later anyways, so it's pointless. Back on to cart girl, I even knew the groups in front were hitting on her, as I heard them talk about the "hot cart girl," yet I knew her name, where she lives, what she does, and we continued to talk through the times she stopped by. Nothing major, but she began avoiding certain groups and only appearing to my group. Or she would shy away from groups, but still serve them.

I don't say PUA stuff doesn't work, but to me, it's like putting bandaids on broken bones. Very often the guy seeking GREATER success with women doesn't realize what ails him. Very often what attracts guys in this business are guys who are, well, geeky. It doesn't take new tactics, or special lines to get a woman. It doesn't.


A-Unit