Reality Check requested: paying on dates

[Trapspringer]

Seriously, though, I've still been mulling this over, and I think there's real potential to throw some C&F in here if you DO end up with a big bill. Something along the lines of "Damn, we sure ran this up." Then be like, "I'll tell you what...I'm gonna be the traditional chivalrous male here and get this, but that means you need to be the traditional woman. Meaning someday soon, you owe me a home-cooked meal. "

Sounds like it is worth a try. I didn't mention that if they persistently insist on paying that first bill, I let them pay since I
assume that I may not get that second date and consider it money saved. And she was a trip for just busting out with that but she could have just stop taking your calls and left you wondering what you did that was disagreeable on that first date.

 

[princelydeeds]

I never ask a woman to pay half, either I pay or she pays. I usually pay on the first date however, I do think its fair that she offer to leave the tip. I would never ask her to pay half or ask her to leave the tip. If I know she has the resources to pay, and she doesn't offer anything, I simply make a mental note. I have very short patience for selfish, self centered women. No dating just sexing!

On a first date (or any date that I'm paying for), I never go anywhere I can't afford or don't want to afford. Thats why I'm not a big fan of going out to dinner. I would much rather bring her to my house, coook, watch a movie and then fcuck her. Honestly, I rarely "date" women I havent had sex with. I only date women who have a high interest level. Why spend my hard earned money on a chick who I may never see again in life.

I do think you are missing the point that this chick is simply a flake. I think you are trying to hard to understand her. I've known lots of strippers and they were all flakey, yes every last one. . They may not always have appeared that way at first but sooner or later the flakiness comes out.

Any woman who thinks she should be compensated for her time is a hhoker. Any woman who doesnt think that time for time is a fair exchange isnt worth your time. The sad thing about your sister and your friend, is that they would be willing to let a good man go over something so petty. Why waste your time on such self centered women?

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by squirrels
I hear you, Springer. Believe me, if it's something petty like $20 for movie tickets or lunch or mini-golf or whatever, I'm not going to suggest an even split...that truly IS pocket-change and it's not worth a stand. Drinks, on the other hand, are a whole 'nother matter...let alone anything that tends get expensive.

Yup, well said. I don't mind paying for a first date - thats why i usually go with the coffee thing as a first date - I spend no more than 6 or seven bucks. If Im seeing good IL prospects from the girl, I will advance it from there - But Im VERY against going out for drinks with a girl you just met. it can get quite pricey, lead to nowhere, and as a guy your often obligated to pay. Sucks. I think Once your onto a cool level with a chik, why not invite her to your place for drinks?

On a sidenote, some under 21 chik I know that Im tryin to mack on got all into a hissy fit thursday night when i wouldn't buy her drinks at the bar, LOL Thank god for Sosuave and such or I might not have known better

 

[uniassign]

This whole topic angers me.

This is my rule: If a chick expects me to pay for her, then I expect her to do EVERYTHING I tell her to do. This includes 3somes, BJs, anal etc.

Think about it, if I have to pay for her TIME, how is that different from an escort or a hooker? If she insists on being paid for, then this is IMPLIED PROSTITUTION.

What she said back in the apartment was a test to you. You should not have apologised. You should have said either of the following:

1. Your mother was right. You can always tell how much a man loves you by the amount he spends on you. Tonight I spent $50, that means I like you about 50%.

This goes to show her how ridiculous her little outburst was.

2. Yeah, in a traditional society, women are meant to do everything a man says. This means that you must stay in the kitchen, be all pretty and now give me a BJ.

Of course she will refuse, siting women's rights etc. If you so desire you can highlight the irony in her behaviour.

3. Ignore the whole thing. Switch topic and continued to kiss her.

I would have gone with no.3.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by uniassign
This whole topic angers me.

This is my rule: If a chick expects me to pay for her, then I expect her to do EVERYTHING I tell her to do. This includes 3somes, BJs, anal etc.

Think about it, if I have to pay for her TIME, how is that different from an escort or a hooker? If she insists on being paid for, then this is IMPLIED PROSTITUTION.

What she said back in the apartment was a test to you. You should not have apologised. You should have said either of the following:

1. Your mother was right. You can always tell how much a man loves you by the amount he spends on you. Tonight I spent $50, that means I like you about 50%.

This goes to show her how ridiculous her little outburst was.

2. Yeah, in a traditional society, women are meant to do everything a man says. This means that you must stay in the kitchen, be all pretty and now give me a BJ.

Of course she will refuse, siting women's rights etc. If you so desire you can highlight the irony in her behaviour.

3. Ignore the whole thing. Switch topic and continued to kiss her.

I would have gone with no.3.

Yeah...I wasn't all that "smooth" at this point. I was well-smashed by that point and I had already dropped my guard because we were getting fairly physical.

3 wasn't an option...her friend had just come home, so it was really hard for me to transition anywhere from there...that actually may have entered into the equation more than I thought and she just busted out that to get me out of there.

As for 2...see my comment on C&F in that situation.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

I don't know. I don't mind paying for most of the bills.

It sucks that the guy has to pay but that is just the way it is. Don't ignore reality. Women expect men to pay. Maybe it will change sometime soon but for now, facts is facts.

However, there always comes a point in time when you recognize that the chick is probably just wasting your time. She's not forking over the goods. Her interest doesn't seem to be there. You can't always be sure of the fact but that is when you stop going to places where cash is involved.

When you find out for sure that she really is wasting your time, move on. You should have stopped paying before you get to that point however.

 

[Thoroughbred]

All I have to say is this- even the biggest golddiggers will date guys and pay for them if they really like the guys. So, if someone says that the guy should always pay you are wrong. Maybe if you are ugly and old, then yeah.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Thoroughbred
All I have to say is this- even the biggest golddiggers will date guys and pay for them if they really like the guys. So, if someone says that the guy should always pay you are wrong. Maybe if you are ugly and old, then yeah.

Hey it worked for Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. Wait a sec, Julia Roberts was a hooker.... He was supposed to pay for her.

 

[NewMan]

Squirrels - you were way off base on this one in my opinion.

If you ask a girl out, then you should be prepared to pay for the date. If she offers to buy something - then cool, if you OK with it - otherwise you foot the bill.

Now when you go out on the first date, you are going to select the thing you do - and you should have cost in mind. Don't do something that your not prepared to pay for - or that is to expensive for your wallet.

So, Pool and drinks is great. But running up a $50 bar bill is probably more than you wanted to spend.

Secondly, you should havce scouted out a place beforehand that did not require a cover.

First dates should be a way to get to know her - something fun like pool, but not a huge blow out. Again, it should be adjusted to what you want to pay.

Finally - you should have blown this chick off.

She's made a big deal about having to pay for some stuff - and thats a red flag. It'll only get worse.

She will expect you to pay.

I really dislike chicks who EXPECT me to foot the bill.

 

[squirrels]

LOL so I didn't call her all week and had even deleted her number out of my phone...

She calls me last night...at like 2AM! (claims she was drunk)

So anyway we're going to a movie tonight. I suggested grabbing some dinner, but she wanted to see a movie, which is cheaper, so we'll see...hopefully I won't get much sleep tonight either.

And yeah she's already ruled herself out as an LTR, but if she's calling drunk at 2AM, she's only thinking about one thing...so maybe being FBs is a possibility.

I'll find out.

 

[Howie Farkes]

My take on the whole paying for the first date is this - and maybe it only applies to the social circles I travel in;

- When the bill arrives and the girl doesn't offer to pay half just say nothing and pay it all... if she does offer to pay her half I let her. Girls who don't pay don't get a second date though - I only give freebies to people I care about and 1 date doesn't put anyone into this class. Out of the dozens of first dates I've had only 2 girls never offered to pay.