Real friends?

[jammy1257]

I've just experienced a situation in which one of my close friends have betrayed me on multiple occasions and I would like to know from the community here, if they have ever experienced such a situation and how do you know if you are around "REAL" friends?

Follow up from this topic:
http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1829013#post1829013

 

[Ease]

Has anyone ever called you a pu*ssy?

 

[sexysuave]

Dude, you have another thread open about this already, and it's pretty current, lol, like it's up here with recent responses.

People can be shady man. If you think you're friend is not being a good friend, just don't hang out with him anymore man. As simple as that. Hang out with some other people. Common now, no need to start multiple threads because some dude told a girl taht you "like her". Even if this was a punk move, it still wasn't the reason you didnt' get the girl. As the guy above said, dont' be a p**sy and man up a little bit and go after girls you like instead of talking about them with your friends.

I personally learned a LONG time ago to keep my mouth shut when it comes to who I do or don't like, as your "friends" might be influenced by it. If I like a girl, I will make an actual MOVE on her, not with words, but make a move on her and run game and kiss her and try to bed her lol, I won't "talk" about it or tell her I like her. She should be the first one telling you those things.

As with the whole "friends" thing, just dont' hang out with someone you think might be disrespecting you. Get MORE friends, if you had 20 friends, you wouldn't care that one of them was disloyal, just move on. And do NOT give them ammo man... keep that in mind... never tell your friends your deepest fears or secrets, as they can eventually use this against you if and when the relationship goes sour. So keep most of the sh*t to your self as far as private things, your flaws, your deep secrets, all of that,, and keep friends on a "fun, sport topics, jokes, and what not" dont' give them ammo that they can use to shoot you down in the future, because if the situation changes and things go sour (which a lot of times happens in friendships) they will use all of it against you and then some lol.

Also, never let your self be punked in public. If someone outright disrespects you, take 'em down man. Call them out on it and if they do it again straight up beat them up.... lol.. I'm not even kidding!! Sometimes you have to stand up for your self!! Even if they are stronger, just swing at them, they might beat you up, but at least you stood up for your self.. Hell, I'm 30, but if it comes down to it, I'd throw down in a second if it means protecting my reputation and not being punked..

 

[zekko]

This seems pertinent:

"The 2nd Law of Power:
Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them."

 

[jammy1257]

I made this topic to discuss if anyone on here has ever experienced such betrayal, the other topic was to discuss how to deal with the guy and what to do about my anger towards him.

I don't think I should risk beating the **** out of this guy because I could get kicked out of university for it and end up ****ing up and wasting my time and money spent, as much as I would like to kick the crap out of his ass. Although I might just do something on graduation...

This seems pertinent:

"The 2nd Law of Power:
Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them."

What is that supposed to mean?

 

[Iceberg]

I made this topic to discuss if anyone on here has ever experienced such betrayal, the other topic was to discuss how to deal with the guy and what to do about my anger towards him.

I don't think I should risk beating the **** out of this guy because I could get kicked out of university for it and end up ****ing up and wasting my time and money spent, as much as I would like to kick the crap out of his ass. Although I might just do something on graduation...

Stop being so emo about this stuff. You're 21. Not 12. Yeah, sometimes in this world, people hurt you. It happens. Move on.

Go sit in your room and write some poetry about it. No wonder your friends think it's okay to disrespect you. You act like a weiner.

 

[zekko]

What is that supposed to mean?

That's the second law from the 48 Laws of Power book.
Forget the bit about enemies, I just quoted that for completeness.
The point is "Don't put too much trust in your friends, they will betray you".
As you found out.

It doesn't sound like this guy wants to see you succeed with this girl, so he set you up for ridicule. He would probably be jealous of you if you got a hot chick like that. So he screwed it up for you.

Anyway, I agree with the others who said you are going about this the wrong way. You need a better mindset for dealing with women. Learn to take action with them instead of confessing your feelings to your friends. Be more masculine. Stick around here awhile and a better attitude will likely rub off on you.

 

[SamoJednom]

That's the second law from the 48 Laws of Power book.
Forget the bit about enemies, I just quoted that for completeness.
The point is "Don't put too much trust in your friends, they will betray you".
As you found out.

It doesn't sound like this guy wants to see you succeed with this girl, so you set you up for ridicule. He would probably be jealous of you if you got a hot chick like that. So he screwed it up for you.

Anyway, I agree with the others who said you are going about this the wrong way. You need a better mindset for dealing with women. Learn to take action with them instead of confessing your feelings to your friends. Be more masculine. Stick around here awhile and a better attitude will likely rub off on you.

Pretty much hit it spot on. It's hard to find a true friend. Men will be men and they will look out after their own interests be it a friend or not.

 

[The_411]

There are true friends out there the problem is need to be able to tell who is a real friend and those who have fake agendas.

I've got a handful of friends that I know would help me out in a jam and I would do the same. I know them, I know their parents and I know their wives (not in a biblical sense ).

It takes time and you gotta spend time with people and figure out who is worthwhile and who isn't.

You have to eliminate people who do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Your true friends should make you feel uncomfortable but you should always feel they are doing that for your benefit to push your boundaries make you grow. Fake friends will make you uncomfortable and will not care how it affects you or if you're hurt.

 

[irocknike23]

just because your friends betrayed you that doesnt make them not real friends...

all that means is they fvcked up....***** is a powerfull then and can twist people against each other

 

[Romjuan]

I was encountered with a situation similar to this. Not with a friend telling a girl i like her, but rather a friend hanging out with an ex of mine when I told him to stay away.

OP, the way I have been handeling disrespect from "friends" is I write them off mentally and start detaching myself with him. Just like you, we had a social circle which makes it awkward if and when we do hang out. So, I called out my friend in private and now I tell myself hes not a true friend. We hangout regularly because of our circle however, to me atleast, he is no longer someone I consider a close friend. Hes just a social friend.

I agree with others, find and meet more friends and know there are only a handful of TRUE friends that look out for you. The rest, if push came to shove, may not be there. I like Zekkos quote of dont put too much trust in friends.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Just start doing it back to them. Who gives a fvck.. The only person you can trust in life 100% is yourself. Whenever friends do things like this to me, I then understand they're not my real friend and demonstrate to the social circle that I am at a higher level than them by manipulating or using this said friend in front of the group. This demonstrates to the group psychologically that you are not to be fvcked around with and keeps them on their toes.

It's sort of a fvcked way of thinking, but thats how you have to be if you want to get anywhere in this world.. Don't take sh1t from anyone and when someone hits you, hit them back 10 times harder.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Speaking of this sh1t lol.. I had a friend that used to be so preachy saying "Things that are said strictly between men are not supposed to be spoken of amongst women".. Well this dude is pretty much half a man. He's a total AFC wimp, does whatever people tell him to, caters to women non stop, and gets incredibly upset with rejection.

Well this dumba$$ goes out and makes up some bullsh1t story about our friend to a girl just because he likes her.. This is the complete wrong attitude. The girl definitely sensed his desperateness and wound up hooking up with the friend who he made up the stories about. The guy that made up the story is a real good looking guy too, so sometimes I'm thankful for sh1t tests so you know that womens' interest is not all just looks.