Intro: There are guys out there that are perfectly happy with being “lap dogs” for women. There are guys out there that don’t mind being “whipped.” These are your typical “nice guy,” the guy that puts his women on a pedestal. A really, really high pedestal. And, yes there ARE some women out there that love this sort of treatment. These women will ONLY date guys who pamper to them.
In other words: the “nice guy” situation is NOT hopeless. You WILL get women. Maybe not many women, and it might cost you a lot, and you might feel like trash. But that’s okay right? Because you’re a nice guy. And at least you’re ‘getting some.’ Well, only when SHE’S in the mood. But at least you’re getting some.
So for all the guys out there in this situation that are happy with this situation STOP READING THIS ARTICLE NOW.
I mean it, STOP READING.
CLOSE YOUR BROWSER.
So here it is.
The issue of confidence has been driven into your minds since day one. It’s practically the ‘golden rule’ of DJs. Why? Because it works.
In the article More Confident Persistence http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall246.htm
Some crucial points came up.
“You're showing consistency. Your behavior is driven by your personality or upbringing, rather than being calibrated against her mood swings. You're the real deal--and the real deal, my friend, is a very attractive thing.”
“She can see that your confidence is real. There's always some doubt in a girl's mind when a guy comes up brimming with charm and seemingly on top of the world. He could just be putting on an act, or his friend might have told him that this is attractive behavior, or... *gasp* he could have read it on a dating advice forum. Fancy that.”
I would like to elaborate on just how you can obtain this genuine confidence. You can be ‘confident’ by telling yourself that you’re ‘the man’… or that you’re ‘on top of the world’… but in the end this is all an act. And you know that. Maybe the ladies won’t see through it and so it works for you, but it’s still an act.
If you can go on acting your whole life good for you, you don’t need this article. This genuine confidence that I’m talking about is not an act. It’s a mindset. And it all starts with SELF-RESPECT. That is what it all comes down to. This is the foundation of having true, genuine confidence and of becoming ‘the real deal.’
Self-respect starts with knowing who you are. And being proud of who you are.
Figure this out first and foremost (we will call this your ‘core’):
Who are you?
What are your goals?
Your hopes?
Your dreams?
What do you believe in/feel strongly about? and are you willing to fight for those beliefs? What do you want most in life? and are you willing to do what it takes to get what you want?
Are you driven? Are you motivated? Or will you let others bring you down?
No. No one will bring you down. Why? Because you have an untouchable core, a definite identity. You know who you are. And you are PROUD of who you are. Your core: that is who you are. You have a set of hopes/dreams/beliefs that NOTHING can shatter. This part of you is immovable. This part of you is steel. And NOTHING has the power to alter this core but YOU and ONLY when YOU so desire.
You have self-worth. Self-respect. And DIGNITY.
What it see too often is the exact opposite. Grown men with no sense of self. With such a weak core that they will disrespect themselves for a well emphasized ‘please’… or a pout… or a smile…
News flash boys! Women will try to use their sex to manipulate you. Why? Because they can (if you let them)! The pathetic thing is some guys are manipulated so damn easily! They’ll do ANYTHING for a pretty face! There are men that will humiliate themselves for a little bit of skin, or for the promise of ‘getting’ lucky. But not you. Because you know who you are. And no one can touch that.
This means that you will not put women (I say ‘women’ in DJ spirit but really this applies to everyone you know) on a really, really high pedestal. You will NOT give up what you stand for just because she smiled at you, just because she said “please,” really really nicely and she’s oh-so-sexy… You won’t supplicate when she shows you a little bit of skin. You will not humiliate yourself because she promises you sex. You won’t even crack when she withholds sex! That’s right! Not even for sex! It’s because you are untouchable. You can outlast her. You have other options if she doesn’t play by your rules. (There’s always Pamela “Hand”erson if you don’t have other options… but you will once you employ this attitude; I’m getting to that)
A wise man once said it’s “better to be with no woman than with the wrong woman.” I say it’s better to be with no woman than let her casterate you. Because once you give in boys, she wins. And that means she’s got your balls buddy. She’s wearing the pants.
It is important to realize however, that it is only your core that you are protecting. Understand that I’m not encouraging that you be some kind of cold, unfriendly, guy who is always right, who always gets his way, etc. (read: loser) Absolutely not. I want you to be flexible. Everyone should enjoy life and have fun. After all seduction is a game right? (hence: he’s “got game”) You want to show ladies that if she plays nice, than you’ll play nice (because you like to have fun right?) but is she wants to play it’s going to be by your rules, and your rules are your core. If she breaks your rules… all bets are off. Believe me. Girls WILL try to break these rules (this is what they call “testing” you).
With this new attitude of self-respect they will call you all sorts of names: “prick” “a$$hole” “jerk.” Oh wait a minute. Jerk? Isn’t that the million dollar question? Why do chicks dig jerks? There’s your answer dude. The thing is, it is the ‘assertiveness’ of self-respect, of real confidence, that lies at the heart of the ‘jerk’ attitude that women love. ‘Jerks’ have a core. ‘Jerks’ are willing to stand up for themselves no matter how hot she is.
There are woman who will test you… and when you stand up for yourself and she sees that you respect yourself she will at first think: “what is this? A real man? Could it be? Why isn’t he supplicating to me? What a jerk!” (something along those lines) but then a funny thing happens: SHE will respect YOU. (You have to realize that it is respectable to have a position and to hold it. Just think about the people that YOU respect and it’s probably for this reasons: for example, the guy at the party who everyone’s pressuring to drink but he keeps his stance. People call him all sorts of names but in the end they respect his position to go sober. Just before they black out in the toilet bowl.)
Then there are some girls that won’t take this attitude at all (see intro). They need some time with ‘nice-guy’ (read: AFC, chump, whatever…) boyfriends who pamper them. Mostly these women have little experience with dating and social interaction in general or they’re just used to being spoiled little princesses. These are NOT the women you want to be with unless you’re like the position of our friend in the intro (but then you wouldn’t be reading this far).
Believe me boys. I’ve been called an “a$$hole” or “jerk” for many years and I could never figure out why. Recently though I’ve realized that it’s because that I have strong core beliefs that no one can break. I’m proud of who I am. I always have been. I won’t take flak from even the most gorgeous woman, under any circumstance.
The important thing is to have that playful, fun-loving side, on top of this core. To show her you two can have fun together. But that there are boundaries.
Create that core if you don’t have it already and build everything else up on top of it.
The core is key. It is the root of all real confidence.
Enjoy,
Rob
In other words: the “nice guy” situation is NOT hopeless. You WILL get women. Maybe not many women, and it might cost you a lot, and you might feel like trash. But that’s okay right? Because you’re a nice guy. And at least you’re ‘getting some.’ Well, only when SHE’S in the mood. But at least you’re getting some.
So for all the guys out there in this situation that are happy with this situation STOP READING THIS ARTICLE NOW.
I mean it, STOP READING.
CLOSE YOUR BROWSER.
So here it is.
The issue of confidence has been driven into your minds since day one. It’s practically the ‘golden rule’ of DJs. Why? Because it works.
In the article More Confident Persistence http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall246.htm
Some crucial points came up.
“You're showing consistency. Your behavior is driven by your personality or upbringing, rather than being calibrated against her mood swings. You're the real deal--and the real deal, my friend, is a very attractive thing.”
“She can see that your confidence is real. There's always some doubt in a girl's mind when a guy comes up brimming with charm and seemingly on top of the world. He could just be putting on an act, or his friend might have told him that this is attractive behavior, or... *gasp* he could have read it on a dating advice forum. Fancy that.”
I would like to elaborate on just how you can obtain this genuine confidence. You can be ‘confident’ by telling yourself that you’re ‘the man’… or that you’re ‘on top of the world’… but in the end this is all an act. And you know that. Maybe the ladies won’t see through it and so it works for you, but it’s still an act.
If you can go on acting your whole life good for you, you don’t need this article. This genuine confidence that I’m talking about is not an act. It’s a mindset. And it all starts with SELF-RESPECT. That is what it all comes down to. This is the foundation of having true, genuine confidence and of becoming ‘the real deal.’
Self-respect starts with knowing who you are. And being proud of who you are.
Figure this out first and foremost (we will call this your ‘core’):
Who are you?
What are your goals?
Your hopes?
Your dreams?
What do you believe in/feel strongly about? and are you willing to fight for those beliefs? What do you want most in life? and are you willing to do what it takes to get what you want?
Are you driven? Are you motivated? Or will you let others bring you down?
No. No one will bring you down. Why? Because you have an untouchable core, a definite identity. You know who you are. And you are PROUD of who you are. Your core: that is who you are. You have a set of hopes/dreams/beliefs that NOTHING can shatter. This part of you is immovable. This part of you is steel. And NOTHING has the power to alter this core but YOU and ONLY when YOU so desire.
You have self-worth. Self-respect. And DIGNITY.
What it see too often is the exact opposite. Grown men with no sense of self. With such a weak core that they will disrespect themselves for a well emphasized ‘please’… or a pout… or a smile…
News flash boys! Women will try to use their sex to manipulate you. Why? Because they can (if you let them)! The pathetic thing is some guys are manipulated so damn easily! They’ll do ANYTHING for a pretty face! There are men that will humiliate themselves for a little bit of skin, or for the promise of ‘getting’ lucky. But not you. Because you know who you are. And no one can touch that.
This means that you will not put women (I say ‘women’ in DJ spirit but really this applies to everyone you know) on a really, really high pedestal. You will NOT give up what you stand for just because she smiled at you, just because she said “please,” really really nicely and she’s oh-so-sexy… You won’t supplicate when she shows you a little bit of skin. You will not humiliate yourself because she promises you sex. You won’t even crack when she withholds sex! That’s right! Not even for sex! It’s because you are untouchable. You can outlast her. You have other options if she doesn’t play by your rules. (There’s always Pamela “Hand”erson if you don’t have other options… but you will once you employ this attitude; I’m getting to that)
A wise man once said it’s “better to be with no woman than with the wrong woman.” I say it’s better to be with no woman than let her casterate you. Because once you give in boys, she wins. And that means she’s got your balls buddy. She’s wearing the pants.
It is important to realize however, that it is only your core that you are protecting. Understand that I’m not encouraging that you be some kind of cold, unfriendly, guy who is always right, who always gets his way, etc. (read: loser) Absolutely not. I want you to be flexible. Everyone should enjoy life and have fun. After all seduction is a game right? (hence: he’s “got game”) You want to show ladies that if she plays nice, than you’ll play nice (because you like to have fun right?) but is she wants to play it’s going to be by your rules, and your rules are your core. If she breaks your rules… all bets are off. Believe me. Girls WILL try to break these rules (this is what they call “testing” you).
With this new attitude of self-respect they will call you all sorts of names: “prick” “a$$hole” “jerk.” Oh wait a minute. Jerk? Isn’t that the million dollar question? Why do chicks dig jerks? There’s your answer dude. The thing is, it is the ‘assertiveness’ of self-respect, of real confidence, that lies at the heart of the ‘jerk’ attitude that women love. ‘Jerks’ have a core. ‘Jerks’ are willing to stand up for themselves no matter how hot she is.
There are woman who will test you… and when you stand up for yourself and she sees that you respect yourself she will at first think: “what is this? A real man? Could it be? Why isn’t he supplicating to me? What a jerk!” (something along those lines) but then a funny thing happens: SHE will respect YOU. (You have to realize that it is respectable to have a position and to hold it. Just think about the people that YOU respect and it’s probably for this reasons: for example, the guy at the party who everyone’s pressuring to drink but he keeps his stance. People call him all sorts of names but in the end they respect his position to go sober. Just before they black out in the toilet bowl.)
Then there are some girls that won’t take this attitude at all (see intro). They need some time with ‘nice-guy’ (read: AFC, chump, whatever…) boyfriends who pamper them. Mostly these women have little experience with dating and social interaction in general or they’re just used to being spoiled little princesses. These are NOT the women you want to be with unless you’re like the position of our friend in the intro (but then you wouldn’t be reading this far).
Believe me boys. I’ve been called an “a$$hole” or “jerk” for many years and I could never figure out why. Recently though I’ve realized that it’s because that I have strong core beliefs that no one can break. I’m proud of who I am. I always have been. I won’t take flak from even the most gorgeous woman, under any circumstance.
The important thing is to have that playful, fun-loving side, on top of this core. To show her you two can have fun together. But that there are boundaries.
Create that core if you don’t have it already and build everything else up on top of it.
The core is key. It is the root of all real confidence.
Enjoy,
Rob
