Ready to hang the game up.

[squirrels]

I think I'm just done with it. Done with women, with romance, with sex, with all of it.

I got bored tonight, so I called up a girl I've f'd once before. She's like a 6...cute, but not something I'd want my friends to see me with. We went out for a few drinks, ended up back at her place, f*cked.

I got nothing out of it. I actually got NOTHING out of it. I feel completely empty, like I pretty much wasted my night. I haven't had sex in like a YEAR, I just got laid for the first time in that long, and I got NOTHING.

I am about ready to just hang it up. I honestly get no satisfaction out of spending time with women romantically. I have one or two other contacts who are in limbo, waiting for me to call them up. I can't even close on them...there's no desire there.

I don't know how you guys get so much enjoyment out of sex. Could be that I'm just BAD at it...I have zippy stay-power. Sure, if I'm ****-drunk I can go forever, but sober...I'm out in 60 seconds. I'm not even gonna lie about it. But I don't even really enjoy it when I DO get off. I enjoy getting off jerking off more than I do f**king a woman.

And then I start worrying about all kinds of weird sh*t like, "What happens if some semen seeps past the condom??". I don't want to be stuck with this girl. Why am I f**king her? Why even put the seed out there, contraception or no???

I have NEVER f**ked a girl and said, "Damn, that was worth it". Leaving her place for the night, I've always felt stupid. Even when I COULD perform...and on a rare occasion I can really rail a girl out...the trip home was like, "Wow, why did I do that??" Then the next morning, I'm regretting not just staying in and sleeping.

I've never met a girl I can really relate to. I feel WEAK when I talk to a girl about my feelings. When I'm cuddled up with some cute thing, I don't feel strong and masculine or secure and satisfied. I feel downright crappy. I feel like here is a person who can't BEGIN to understand me, and NEVER could fully understand the presence of this moment. I feel like I'm LOWERING myself to associate with her.

I mean, I guess there's the hope that I could find some girl who could actually be SPECIAL, and do the whole "romance" thing. But I honestly don't believe in that any more. I have no desire to be a husband, no desire to be a father. I'm not built for it. If THAT is the measure of a man, I have failed. For some reason, I feel like that's a WASTED purpose in life. Something that saps away so much of your energy, your time, your wealth. I can't give that to a woman. I will have no life left.

So I dunno. Sure, I know I could "study the game", re-immerse myself in it, and be banging girls left and right. But it honestly just feels like psychological suicide...the same as if I became an alcoholic.

I just don't know if I BELONG here any more. I don't know if women have ANY place in my life any more. At 31, I think I'm beyond that point. I slept with some women, took a few shots at "something more" and missed miserably...maybe it's time to just hang it up. Leave this game to the young and reckless, and focus my attention on more important things, like my hobbies and pursuits.

I guess that means I fail, huh? :kick:

I guess I'm hoping someone can talk me out of it...but this decision was made long ago. Now, every experience seems to reinforce it. But if I let this go, if I hang the game up, I lose the last thing I have in common with "my fellow man". The love/sex/romance thing is the last common ground I have with anyone I know, the last thing that I feel truly makes me human, and here I am ready to cast it aside.

Sh*t, I was at a post-wedding party Saturday night...this guy's wife (who is gorgeous) is telling me I should date her twin sister. I thought about it for a minute...and I honestly felt NO interest there. I was like, "Why f**k with that?" in my head.

It wasn't even like, "Maybe she'll be cool." It was like, "no, I appreciate the effort to suck me down into the relationship-hole that you live in so I can relate to all you turds, but you are wasting my time right now".

As I said before, the only prospect that turns me on is f**king other people's girls, not for pleasure, but just to make them look like fools for buying into this "love" crap. And I can take or leave that.

 

[Miles28]

Good for you man. The whole chasing women thing is, frankly, ridiculous. They're just not worth it. Maybe you're one of the enlightened few. It's not so bad not having anything in common with mainstream society, don't beat yourself up about it.

 

[romangod]

squirrels: You're actually one of the smart ones. Your cynicism is not unfounded. Modern love and relationships are a minefield for today's man. All the cards are stacked against a man and if he errs it is a lifelong sentence of financial and emotional hardship.

We have legislated against being a man and are forced to walk a fine line between being a stud and a stalker. The woman will decide which one we are. Either one brings its own troubles.

The sexual revolution opened up Pandora's box for both men and women. It changed the game. Sluts and women of low character became desirable while modest women with integrity and self respect were shunned. Their moist, warm hole became dominant and began to rule the psyche of many men. They had to have it and women soon realized this.

The price of pu$$y went up while the quality went down. It's estimated that 25% of women at 25 are carrying some form of STD. They were raised to play by the new rules. The new rules could kill them and their unwitting victims.

Heaven help the guy that knocks up a brief fling and she decides to keep it. It's a life sentence with no parole. That 15 minutes of sexual release and ego boosting could cause a lifetime of financial and psychological torture. The only hope would be that the mother shows mercy to the now trapped sperm donor.

I'm trying not to be too cynical. There are some women that get it and haven't bit the apple. But they are rare indeed. Most have unconsciously bought into the new paradigm.

Just make sure you're not the guy at the Wal Mart with a fat bimbo in stretch pants and a few screaming kids paying for a shopping cart full of junk. All the while knowing that she can ruin your life on a whim. Ouch!


Cheers!

 

[squirrels]

That's why kids aren't allowed to post in the MM forum. You're 21 and ripe for being led to your slaughter. See you at Wal Mart.


Cheers!

Eh, go easy on the kid. There may be some merit to what he says...anyone who's ready any of my posts in the last year or so knows I'm not quite "right in the head". As a MAN, sex really shouldn't affect me in this way. I can't say why it does.

Maybe I just need to find more attractive women. In the last year or so, I've been sacrificing attraction for "fun factor", been willing to indulge women who I'm not as attracted to because they loved to sport-f**k, didn't make a "game" of it, and could enjoy a fling for what it was.

But honestly...f**king isn't all that fun for me. Again, could be that I suck at it, but I've never really "had a blast" having sex, to the point where I don't feel like that time could be better spent on something else.

Even when I had girls over to the house, after she's gone, there's always that, "WTF" feeling. That thought of, "I just put my d**k WHERE?", trying to wash the 'tang-smell off of myself, etc.

Then there's the fact that I just don't trust birth control any more. I don't know why not...I just constantly feel like it's going to fail on me and I'm gonna be f**ked sooner or later.

You're right, though, RG. The so-called "sexual revolution" has left, as its only legacy, this idea that men and women should be f**king all the time. Back in our parents' and grandparents' time, yeah, it happened, but it was much less frequent. Most of the time, the first time anyone saw p***y, it was on their wedding night.

Now, it's considered abnormal for any couple that's been on 3 or 4 dates NOT to have had a sexual experience. Human beings throwing DNA at each other...it's ridiculous.

I'm not really sure HOW to manage it any more in my head. But there's so much more life to be lived...I just don't get what all the commotion is about sex and f**king women.

Just seems like a shame...before you would naturally encounter women, meet a nice girl, and stuff would happen. Now it seems like men are made to WORK for "lovin", even for the easy ones...take time and money away from other things to pursue "lovin".

Why is there NOTHING better to do on a Friday night than go out to a bar and hit on women??

 

[Kailex]

But honestly...f**king isn't all that fun for me. Again, could be that I suck at it, but I've never really "had a blast" having sex, to the point where I don't feel like that time could be better spent on something else.

I wonder, if men were honest to each other and themselves... how many would admit that the actual act isn't all that fun. And I mean the ENTIRE thing, not just the climax. Sure it's nice when we're done, but the courting, the roleplay, the stimulation, the different positions.

Maybe this is why you'd rather do it on your own. You skip all of that and get straight to the point.

I wonder if secretly, many more men feel the same.

Why is there NOTHING better to do on a Friday night than go out to a bar and hit on women??

There are other options on what to do on a Friday night, but not many. If I were still 20, I'd be doing what I used to do, just play basketball all the time, or just chill with my friends without having to worry about women. Sadly, as you get older, so does the world around you. Many begin to think their priorities shift and most of us Mature Men that are single often are "alone". "Alone" in the sense that those that were willing and able to hang out with us on a Friday night, probably walk around now with child in tow and wearing a Bluetooth headset.

 

[romangod]

Eh, go easy on the kid. There may be some merit to what he says...anyone who's ready any of my posts in the last year or so knows I'm not quite "right in the head". As a MAN, sex really shouldn't affect me in this way. I can't say why it does.


I'm not really sure HOW to manage it any more in my head. But there's so much more life to be lived...I just don't get what all the commotion is about sex and f**king women.

Why is there NOTHING better to do on a Friday night than go out to a bar and hit on women??

And what would "right in the head" look like? I think you're closer than you think.

The sex drive is one of the most powerful forces a man faces in his lifetime. It is one of life's greatest challenges to put it in the proper perspective, especially in today's environment. If you don't get it right it can literally ruin the rest of your life. Whether through diseases, unwanted children or the financial and emotional devastation of a marriage gone bad.

It sounds like you have a low libido. You should count your blessings. It could keep you out of a lot of trouble. As I get older and my sex drive lessens I count my blessings. I realize I dodged a lot of bullets in my youth of one night stands, unprotected sex with girlfriends and drunken debauchery. Luckily, I out grew that before it was too late.

You're still young but now passing into the next phase of your life. Work on putting sex in its proper perspective and life will have a new meaning.

As for Friday nights, a night of poker with the boys is so much fun.


Cheers!

 

[squirrels]

There are other options on what to do on a Friday night, but not many. If I were still 20, I'd be doing what I used to do, just play basketball all the time, or just chill with my friends without having to worry about women. Sadly, as you get older, so does the world around you. Many begin to think their priorities shift and most of us Mature Men that are single often are "alone". "Alone" in the sense that those that were willing and able to hang out with us on a Friday night, probably walk around now with child in tow and wearing a Bluetooth headset.

A couple of years ago, A group of 10-12 of us would go out to one of the Rec Council football/soccer fields and play a casual (but fiercely competitive) game or three of "Ultimate Frisbee". It was an awesome release and a chance to stay close to people that I had grown apart from. One guy even still had a key to the light controls, so we would have "night games".

It was one of the few things that I felt "kept me young", one of the simple pleasures of life. This same crowd was always getting together for things like whitewater rafting trips.

Haven't heard crap from most of them. A couple of the lead organizers found themselves "serious girlfriends", ran off and got married...now THAT is what they have time for.

I know it hardly seems like the "mature man" thing to say, but given the choice between getting married and having kids, and being able to play that game of frisbee every Sunday...I'll take the frisbee just about every time.

Sometimes it seems like people get married because they don't know what else to do with themselves...almost as if they feel GUILTY for enjoying life and feel some OBLIGATION to get bogged down in some woman's life.

The embrace of a woman after sex...feels like death to me. It feels like the Sunday night after an awesome weekend, when you can't think of anything but going to work tomorrow and know there's nothing left here, and you're trying to find some satisfaction in the moment but you feel awkward and restless. Like when Mephistopheles gives Helen of Troy to Faust moments before his soul is sucked off into hell, and he tries to find solace/satisfaction there, but it's only brief and fleeting.

I feel lonelier in a woman's arms than I do by myself. Alone, I feel complete and strong. When out with my friends, I feel energized, competitive, and free. With a woman, I feel just awful...pathetic.

As for Friday nights, a night of poker with the boys is so much fun.

I have been trying to organize a poker game with my friends for some time. They always find some excuse to b!tch out of it.

I seriously need new friends.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Squirrels, I agree with some of what you said, but the stuff about not enjoying sex I disagree with!!! I have had some average a$$ that made me feel like you described and I have some stuff that made me want to run a marathon. The one I wanted to run a marathon with was absolutely wonderful and fun.... it was incredible. I had major feelings for that one and yes I loved her. That was my problem as it damn near killed me.

What I do agree with whole heartedly is the thing about courtship and all that garbage.

I have not had any in 6 months and for awhile it bothered me, but now I am getting used to it. When I do get laid again I sure as hell hope I do not come away feeling like you.

During the last several years I have learned a lot about myself and women. It has totally changed my train of thought. I no longer consider myself an AFC!!! If loving a women makes me an afc, then I am guilty.

Just maybe the sex thing is because you are not into the girl..... I mean I have been with some like that because I was not all that attracted to them in the first place, but they were at least decent enough for me to fvck in the first place.

What I would be concerned with is coming in 60 seconds... Every time I am sexually involved I want the girl to think I am a king because I am hitting it the best of my ability. With that said, I do a lot better when I am into a women and will knock the fire out of it.

You had a year break and it sounds your experience was less than desirable. Just maybe it was you were not feeling the "6" and you just went through the motions; Or maybe having waited so long it was not what you envisioned in your mind or it did NOT equal past sexually encounters. Only you can find that out.

For me right now, I am not interested in the getting to know you $hit and try a relationship thing with dating and courting. I just want to get horizontal and if more progresses from that, then cool. Sex first and then I am okay with making myself a little more vulnerable with feelings if it gets to that, but always keeping them in check.

 

[synergy1]

I donno man, it sounds like you are depressed. You see the world as generally negative and can't seem to derive pleasure from doing anything. I see a lot in one of my friends who is good at "the game" as I see in you; he uses gaming women to try and fill some void in his life, and it never works. He has always pulled well throughout his life, but its all merely a facade. Unhappy people will always be unhappy - give them all the money, girls and stuff, and the result will be the same. I think you need to look inward and determine if you are happy with anything in your life. From the sounds of your posts, it doesn't seem to be...but its hard to glean such things from a few paragraphs on a message board.

On women, I think there are plenty of quality women who have a lot to offer. This board focuses on sluts, BPD, STDs and everything else bad in women, but fails to realize that there are plenty of good, smart, and genuine girls out there who are actually fun to be around. Its probably because most don't pull the kind of women they are interested in, so its easier to hate on them than accept they can't get what they want. Also, I personally don't see it as a weakness to open up to them at all. We are all only human , aren't we?

I've never met a girl I can really relate to. I feel WEAK when I talk to a girl about my feelings. When I'm cuddled up with some cute thing, I don't feel strong and masculine or secure and satisfied. I feel downright crappy. I feel like here is a person who can't BEGIN to understand me, and NEVER could fully understand the presence of this moment. I feel like I'm LOWERING myself to associate with her.

What makes you think you are "Higher" than her anyway? What makes you think you are "higher" than anyone else? These feelings are unfounded and simply an artifact in your head which I don't believe are normal for many people.

Believe it or not, I had a similar mindset to yours. In high school, I found it hard to relate to people and thus scorned them for being able to date women, go to dances etc. It was easier to reconcile within myself that I was somehow superior to them than to accept that I was just awful socially. Such is our egos. As I aged, I realized that all this hate just isn't worth it and started simply enjoying whatever came my way. I might be dead at 50 like my old man, so at least at 49, I can look back and realized that being chill was way better than hating everything.

In the past year I have: lost my job, lost my last gf, failed a business venture, lost all my processions, am still unemployed in the worst recession since the 80s, am losing my life savings (thank god I had some!!), got my laptop stolen, but am still relatively happy ( okay, the prospect of going broke sucks). Actually ,I am pulling some mad game right now because I keep that fresh outlook on life. Why? This **** doesn't matter. I could find 10000 reasons why life sucks, but I prefer to find the 1 or 2 reasons why life is good.

You got one shot in your 30s. Are you sure you want to spend it scorning the little things that don't matter? As is said all too often, it could always be much worse.

 

[squirrels]

What I would be concerned with is coming in 60 seconds... Every time I am sexually involved I want the girl to think I am a king because I am hitting it the best of my ability. With that said, I do a lot better when I am into a women and will knock the fire out of it.

You had a year break and it sounds your experience was less than desirable. Just maybe it was you were not feeling the "6" and you just went through the motions; Or maybe having waited so long it was not what you envisioned in your mind or it did NOT equal past sexually encounters. Only you can find that out.

Could be. I'm with you...when I f**k a girl, I WANT to f**k her good. It just doesn't work out that way as often as I'd like. I used to just be able to get up for "Round 2" and knock it out then, but lately I can't even get aroused again for "Round 2"...as you point out, it may be a sign that I'm just not into the girl enough.

I donno man, it sounds like you are depressed. You see the world as generally negative and can't seem to derive pleasure from doing anything.

That could be as well.

I've considered taking something for it. In fact, I actually badgered my doc into writing a scrip for some SSRIs at one point. I started taking them, but quit before they took effect. I was worried about the side-effects...for example, if you miss a dose you can potentially get "brain-zaps" due to low serotonin levels.

Now they DO say that stuff can improve sexual "stay-power" as well. Who knows...maybe I'll get back on the stuff.

The one thing I DON'T want to do is mask a problem with medication. That's the main reason I cut that crap out...I was worried that I was feeling down because something is LEGITIMATELY wrong in my life, and I needed to resolve that and I would feel better about myself. Drugs seemed like the easy way out.

I dunno any more. I'm forced to ask myself the question...is everything I know suffering from a bias due to a natural negative state that NEEDS correcting? Am I really that much of an "idiot"? Am I depressed because my existence sucks, or does my existence suck because I'm depressed??

This board focuses on sluts, BPD, STDs and everything else bad in women, but fails to realize that there are plenty of good, smart, and genuine girls out there who are actually fun to be around. Its probably because most don't pull the kind of women they are interested in, so its easier to hate on them than accept they can't get what they want. Also, I personally don't see it as a weakness to open up to them at all. We are all only human , aren't we?

Therein is the central problem. I see "being human" as being a problem that I can't seem to shake, and most people merely accept being a victim to it. Although I don't know what other choice they have...it still doesn't feel good to be human.

What makes you think you are "Higher" than her anyway? What makes you think you are "higher" than anyone else? These feelings are unfounded and simply an artifact in your head which I don't believe are normal for many people.

It's not that I feel "higher" than her. It's that I feel I OUGHT to be better than it.

I feel like a woman who sleeps with me accepts me as a lover despite my weaknesses, and I see that as a failing in HER. Of all the women I've f**ked, I honestly feel pathetic afterward, like I should be better than my sex-drive and that they are somehow taking pity on my masculine instincts by humoring me with sex, even if they get enjoyment out of it as well.

I feel like I'm one of the people that disgust me on a day-to-day basis when I indulge that desire...I feel like a victim of it, and I think I ought to be better than that. We ALL should be better than that. Sex-drive is a weakness that forces men to deviate from full realization of their potential in the name of "love", and men who f**k are weak-willed and pathetic.

I know that'll make a couple hairs bristle on THIS forum, but yeah...I feel like crap after f**king because I SHOULD, because f**king is stupid.

You got one shot in your 30s. Are you sure you want to spend it scorning the little things that don't matter? As is said all too often, it could always be much worse.

That's just it...that's why I'm considering just punting the whole "game" to the curb. Why should I waste another second of my life trying to get intimate with women??

Squirrels,

Have you found at least one thing in life that motivates you - that you would pursue and do for a lifetime if money were no object?

Sure, if money weren't an object, there are a couple things I could get satisfaction out of in life.

And if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.

But she doesn't. So I don't see the point in the hypotheticals.

 

[SteR]

Squirrels,

Have you found at least one thing in life that motivates you - that you would pursue and do for a lifetime if money were no object?

Sounds corny, but just wondering. Your problems may go deeper than just women or sex.

When I was in college, I felt this way. I changed majors twice, got bad grades, and drank like a fish and nailed women who, frankly, were usually beneath me (no pun intended). At the end of every week I was depressed and lost. I felt like I should have been having the time of my life, but I really just wanted to blast off to the far side of the world and be alone.

It took a major shake up to feel happy again - including a change of scenery and admitting to myself what I really wanted to do.

Care to elaborate on this? Because this is exactly how I'm feeling at the moment... the only problem is I have no idea what motivates me.

 

[guru1000]

Squirrels,

Romangod is correct; you do have low libido. Visit an endocrinologist or HRT physician and check your testosterone, GF-1 levels. You can't drive a car with an empty tank of gas.

 

[squirrels]

Squirrels,

Romangod is correct; you do have low libido. Visit an endocrinologist or HRT physician and check your testosterone, GF-1 levels. You can't drive a car with an empty tank of gas.

The question becomes...is that a PROBLEM, having low libido?

And if so, why??

 

[squirrels]

I hear you, dude.

But I think you should entertain a hypothetical in this case. Explore your fantasies so you can work toward something that satisfies you.

Even if you never achieve it - why not try?

Oh I'm exploring them, rest assured. The thing is...they cost a lot of money, and don't make any for me. So it's pointless to talk about this, "If money wasn't an object" stuff. Money IS an object.

Honestly...I don't know if even THOSE would fulfill me. I mean, they're fun, I can get rather passionate about them, but I still feel like I should be aspiring to some higher purpose.

Anything short of "legendary" is a waste of a life. And I don't see any good path to "legendary".

 

[guru1000]

The question becomes...is that a PROBLEM, having low libido?

And if so, why??

I dunno any more. I'm forced to ask myself the question...is everything I know suffering from a bias due to a natural negative state that NEEDS correcting? Am I really that much of an "idiot"? Am I depressed because my existence sucks, or does my existence suck because I'm depressed??

Imbalance.

 

[Werman]

The question becomes...is that a PROBLEM, having low libido?

And if so, why??

Low libido can be indicative of a bigger issue. I experienced low libido for several years. I thought it was because I was in a bad marriage and hated the woman I was married to.

Turns out I had a malignant tumor in my junk that was messing with my hormones.

I'm not trying to scare you, but it is worth checking out. If the doc says you are physically fine and you still don't have an interest in sex, then it's up to you to search your soul, determine what you want, and make the decision as to whether or not low libido is a problem.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'm sorry about your condition. I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I can last 3 hours or more, fvcking a Hot girl, without losing my load. If she's not hot, I just want to get it over with and really can't go any longer than an hour with that stank as5. If she smells great, and is hot, I can go on forever, and they LOVE that. I've been called a "Stallion," a "machine," a "terminator," a "lesbian," a "marine" (even though I'm not), over the last 3 months. I can go on forever and not come once and remain hard. I can also eat pvssy for hours, IF it's a hot-bodied girly-girl, and those are hard to find. I agree with you, a 6, a butterface, a non-silky skinned chick? I just want to get it over with and never see her as5 again...

 

[cordoncordon]

Honestly? I think you suffer from depression, and I have always thought that. I have read your posts for years, and since day one, I thought to myself, "something is wrong with this guy, he really seems depressed to me."

99% of your posts are about whats wrong with you. How you don't relate to anyone, how you don't have the energy to do anything. <<<That is depression.

I really think before you ask anyone here for any advice, the first thing you should do is to go see a psychiatrist, let them evaluate you, put you on meds if needed, clear your head, and THEN come back here and ask for some advice. Because right now, in your state of mind, you can't see right from wrong, down from up, and black from white.

 

[DanelMadr]

Hi squirrels,

I might be wrong of course but in psychology everything goes down to sex. After all it is the second strongest instinct. If there is something wrong maybe that's why you subconsciously avoid it by not looking for rapport which would make the sex better. You see catch 22. Problems/fears lead to no rapport/emotional involvement which leads to problems/fears. And going for a girl you rate 6 is not gonna help with fulfilment. You either see her as 8 or you find an actual 8.

I don't think you need to see a shrink. You are smart enough and frank/direct with yourself to figure it out yourself. Just don't lose the believe. I believe when you force yourself to see the good in a girl and you will try to f@ck her like you would try to touch your souls, you will get rewarded with better sexual/emotional experience.

Sure in most cases you can't find rapport and understanding (your parents don't understand their children fully even though they spent their life with them and have similar genes) but you can connect with a human being. And I believe that's worthy and still rewarding.

I have to remind myself often to stay focused on trying to find a connection with a girl as opposed to passively observe and/or asexually seduce . Not asking if she plays chess. for me is enough when she is a good person not a stuck up controlling b!tch.

Sex is emotional thing. It don't have to be but is better when it is. You just need to be more enthusiastic about it by consciously remind yourself about it and relaxing at the same time.

Or you can just don't do it. But I believe you miss it or it wouldn't bother you. Actually I think everyone should miss it unless he is a guy residing in my cell.:yawn:

 

[cordoncordon]

And I'm just throwing this out there, but...have you ever thought maybe you were gay? That maybe this deep hidden urge that you keep inside of you and that you keep repressed is the reason you are so sad and alone all the time? Because you know you are not being true to yourself?? You like being with your male friends, and you hate the touch of a woman. That to me....is a good sign of being a homosexual.