Reading between the line

[Jeremymichael]

Hello everyone!,

Hopefully this won't upset Scaramouche.....:0)

If you are talking to a girl (who you think might like you) then how would you react if she kept going on about not being able to find a nice boyfriend?. There is a girl who I know and she keeps going on about this. The thing is she is 26 and I'm 40, so it's not really going to work. Blaa, blaa, "I can't find a nice boyfriend who will respect me"...bla...and yet I am all of that for godsake woman. How does that make me feel. I guess I must be seen as an older brother!

How would you react?...."Oh you will find someone... but bars are not the best place to meet people", or do you just throw in the comment "I know somone who might be interested...wink wink". However with my shyness I doubt whether I would have the balls to do that :nervous: .


The girl in question has been single for about a year now and has lot's of male friends so you would wonder why she is single. She is very pretty and intelligent. My conclusion is that she is just too friendly to every bloke she meets and therefore nobody takes her potential interest seriously. I mean she was dancing with this right loser last week in the bar, everyone knows he's a jerk but she still talks to him and was even touching his arm.

I know you should lead women, but they could do a lot to help themselves by making clear signals of interest!!. I read somewhere that women were told that they should give clear signals to men.. I guess that is what she is lacking?!

 

[squirrels]

If you are talking to a girl (who you think might like you) then how would you react if she kept going on about not being able to find a nice boyfriend?. There is a girl who I know and she keeps going on about this. The thing is she is 26 and I'm 40, so it's not really going to work. Blaa, blaa, "I can't find a nice boyfriend who will respect me"...bla...and yet I am all of that for godsake woman. How does that make me feel. I guess I must be seen as an older brother!

Yeah, probably.

You're 40! What kind of high-school sh!t is this?? "I think she might like me..." FIND OUT.

How would you react?...."Oh you will find someone... but bars are not the best place to meet people",

Ask her what she has to offer a "good man". Watch her spout some bullsh!t. Bust her on it.

or do you just throw in the comment "I know somone who might be interested...wink wink". However with my shyness I doubt whether I would have the balls to do that :nervous: .

If you want to see what a girl looks like when she's seriously creeped out, then do that.

Lose the shyness. You're FORTY. She could (anatomically) be your DAUGHTER. At what age do you intend to start acting like a MAN instead of a scared teenage boy??

The girl in question has been single for about a year now and has lot's of male friends so you would wonder why she is single.

She's been single for a YEAR?? And you haven't made ANY kind of move or any indication of romantic interest?? What, are you hoping she'll sign your yearbook so you can get her number there, call her up, and breathe heavy into the phone??

Dude, honestly, you have been so androgynous around this girl now that anything you do to try to turn romantic on her suddenly is going to creep her the hell out.

I hope you're dating (REALLY dating, not having lunches where you talk about boys) other women and working on your skills there. As you learn to be more confident around women, she may start taking a liking to you. It'll take time, and it's your ONLY chance that I can see with this girl. Personally, I'd write her off unless she starts giving you SERIOUS IOIs all of a sudden.


She's single because she's f*cking half these guys (and loves the c*ck) and teasing the other half (because she loves the attention). She wouldn't know what to do with a good man if one DID manage to stumble across her.

She is very pretty and intelligent.

Pedestal much?

My conclusion is that she is just too friendly to every bloke she meets and therefore nobody takes her potential interest seriously.

My conclusion is that she's a flake but she can afford to be because she'll always draw guys like you to make her feel good about herself.

I mean she was dancing with this right loser last week in the bar, everyone knows he's a jerk but she still talks to him and was even touching his arm.

So she's grinding on HIM, touching him, laughing. YOU on the other hand are 14 years OLDER than her and scared to death of her, acting like a scared little high-school freshman around her and trying to ascertain whether she likes you through some "sign" while this dude is probably plowing her. What were YOU doing during this time? Sitting there cradling your drink and trying to look like you didn't care?

Yet he's the "right loser". Funny how THAT works.

I know you should lead women, but they could do a lot to help themselves by making clear signals of interest!!.

Well they won't. So either grab your nuts and start being a man, or get used to not getting laid.

I read somewhere that women were told that they should give clear signals to men.. I guess that is what she is lacking?!

Yes, let's blame HER.

She's not giving you any signals because YOU are not being MAN enough to attract her.

Women do not just give signals to a guy at random and see how he responds. YOU have to show FIRST that you are a MAN before she will become attracted to you. It has to do with the way you look, yes, but also with the way you carry yourself, the way you speak, your "swagger" and confidence. THOSE are the kinds of things that will get a girl giving you "signals".

You're blaming her for not being curious about you. You've given her nothing worth being curious ABOUT.

Flirt or something! Jeez!

You don't WORK with this girl, do you?

 

[librito]

when it comes to women, there is nothing hidden that you cant find out by acting as a real man......just escalate and escalate until she either stops you or fvuck you...
then only reason she thinks that men are jerks and inconsidarate is because that is the type of men she really likes to fvck....why doesnt she go to church to find a "good man", sincere, honest, faithful,? because she dont like those types of men.

also, you dont have a chance with this girl because obviously you are a "good man" and not a jerk....

 

[STR8UP]

If you are talking to a girl (who you think might like you) then how would you react if she kept going on about not being able to find a nice boyfriend?.

Lets put it this way. I had one the other night saying the exact same thing. A few hours later her lips were around my c0ck.

Forget about verbal communication with women. They don't say what they mean or mean what they say AT LEAST half the time. Force your hand (make a move) and you will have your answer. If she's saying this stuff and she doesn't fukk you, she was only using you as an emotional barf bag.

Make her put up or shut up.

 

[Jeremymichael]

I think I have been given a serious telling off by Squirrel. Thanks anyway.

Also thanks for your comments librito. I think you are right in many ways she probably wants the bad boy. Girls in the twenties don't really see through all the crap until they get into their mid thirties and suddenly realize they want the Mr Nice guy as they start to recognize their frailties. She once mentioned that one bloke had said she appears insecure, so I guess she has that as well. She also said she believed she looked too much like the girl next door and not a sex kitten.

I am starting to join some clubs as well to widen my horizons.

 

[Mr. Me]

How does that make me feel. I guess I must be seen as an older brother!

How would you react?...."Oh you will find someone... but bars are not the best place to meet people"

Isn't that what an older brother might say?

If she was bemoaning her circumstances to me, I probably would've said something sarcastic along the lines of "well no wonder you can't find anyone they way you moan and groan about things..."

I mean she was dancing with this right loser last week in the bar, everyone knows he's a jerk but she still talks to him and was even touching his arm.

I know you should lead women, but they could do a lot to help themselves by making clear signals of interest!!

Dude, the girl touching the guy's arm IS a clear signal of interest. The problem isn't that girls aren't clear, the problem is you don't seem to know how to read their interest.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jeremy Michael,
Well you've really done it this time,I can tell you Squirrels is really Pvissed off with you,never even touched his acorns at breakfast did he?
But seriously Jeremy you are back bottom feeding in bars again?what will your Mother say?All the time that clock is ticking and you are frittering your last opportunities to assemble a disreputable past.

 

[Jitterbug]

Women love saying that sh!t to get guys qualifying themselves to them. It's entertaining and quite an ego massage! If it were the other way around, wouldn't you love it too?

Flip the script on them. I hear this BS endless times. I always agree with them and say that I can sympathize because I can't find a good girl who will do X Y Z either. Then just sit back & listen to them qualifying themselves. Add some of your own C&F if you can.

Examples:

1.

I was with a mate and 3 other chicks. The chicks were whining about not being able to find a real man. My mate (who's French) immediately said: "I agree. Real men only visit this country a few times a year." (i.e in that context, it's him). I continued: "And even fewer choose to immigrate here." {that's me, I'm a migrant} Then we just sat back and enjoyed the chicks telling us what great women they are.

2.

Chick was whining that Mr Darcy is such a gentleman & spoils it for her when it comes to modern males & b!tches about men nowadays. Nice Guys jumped in and started to moan about how girls only date bad boys and nice guys finish last - you know the routine. Chick yawned. I told her: "I agree, it's tough for you ladies these days. I can sympathize. I can't seem to find a modern woman who could match fictional ladies in old novels either." Chick became very curious & hopped over the table to sit down & talk to me. The nice guys gave me dirty looks.

Anyway, man, you're 40, you need to grab your balls and go for what you want. You sound like a high school kid.

 

[vitor]

Women Screw Them or Screw Them...

Think about that for a min, let it sink ok.

Ok You are sleeping with her, or you are not bothering with her because she will not sleep with you.

If she is your friend, what does she do for you? Does she hang out with you on weekends, watch movies with you, cook you dinner or do things your other friends do? You value this fake friendship with her for no reason. Put it on the table, ask her out for drinks, she says yes great, she says no or you are just my friend accept it and stop wasting your time with her.

DONE and DONE

 

[DJDamage]

Tell her next time she start blabbing about that she can't find anyone:

"ok listen I am sick and tired of listening to your whining, this coming weekend I want you to wear something really sexy and you and I are going to go out and paint the town red and I won't take no for an answer".

The rest is up to you.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jeremy Michael,
This is posted from the Seattle Times in another thread....read and digest.
So You Want to Hit on the Bartender?
Hitting on a female bartender presents unique challenges. Maggie suggests you ask yourself a few questions before you do.
By Maggie Savarino Dutton
Published on February 11, 2009 at 9:28am
1) What is the cold, hard probability that this woman finds you attractive? Assess your hotness now. I was a very friendly bartender, but you cannot mistake "professional jawing" for flirting. Female bartenders flirt. It's how we pay rent. Don't mistake it for liking you just because there's no pole and we're fully clothed.


Details:

Maggie's column on Voracious:

Ask the Bartender
2) Are you fully prepared to step in a giant pile of awkward if she says no? We flirt, but there is an unwritten rule that we can flirt, because you're not supposed to call us on it. If this is your regular bar, you are committing a social offense so egregious I almost want to smack you myself. Of course (deadpan), there's always the chance that you're meant for each other. Please see question #1.
3) What's your plan? You have to have a plan. "We should go out sometime" is not a plan. Do the two of you share an interest? Maybe an author or certain music? Bring an appropriate but small gift. How does she react? Positively or politely? (Take a friend for an honest assessment.) Take another baby step from there if you dare.
4) Only ask her out if it's to do something. Dinner's no good. (She works nights, duh.) A bike ride? Kayaking? She has days off; chances are she's got a daytime hobby, so latch on to that. Something that has a clear end time works best, but nothing that could lead to a nightcap. Remember, she witnesses 1:30 a.m. hookups all the time. Put her in that situation at your peril. Whatever you do, don't be eager. She sees through you like glass. It will be like putting the moves on Bruce Lee. So don't try, just be.
The female bartender is perhaps the most jaded, cold, walled-off, and unapproachable member of the female species. Remember, she spends her evenings listening to men bull**** women. She gets hit on by the douche with the popped collar while his girlfriend's in the bathroom. She mentally counts the number of sentences it takes a guy to work sex into the conversation, because they always do. In her mind, men are predictable, ridiculous animals who can rarely be trusted, or worth her time.
You still wanna date a female bartender? Well, you better be a pretty exceptional guy.

Good luck, and duck, you sucker.

 

[Jeremymichael]

Thanks Scaramouche. I have finally decided to give up the barmaids. It's become a habbit after work going to my local and having a few drinks. I can see nothing is going to happen though.

By the way Squirrels was so upset that the forum door is still shaking from his
rapid departure, and as you mentioned his breakfast remains un-touched . I think he only had two sips from his coffee.

 

[squirrels]

Thanks Scaramouche. I have finally decided to give up the barmaids. It's become a habbit after work going to my local and having a few drinks. I can see nothing is going to happen though.

By the way Squirrels was so upset that the forum door is still shaking from his
rapid departure, and as you mentioned his breakfast remains un-touched . I think he only had two sips from his coffee.

Not upset at all. Just wanted to make it clear you were behaving in a chumpish manner.

This was a BARMAID?? You neglected to provide this crucial piece of information in your original post. If she's flirting, it's because flirting brings bigger tips.

http://www.allabout-sp.net/?p=season7/714