Read this becker & others, need opinion!!!

[becker]

Brasco,

A very gutsy move on your part, but I commend you for sticking it to her. I probably would have left out "If you and him break up then your more then welcome to pop in, thats if I am still single". There's something about that line that makes it seem like you are sort of waiting for her to jump on the train before it leaves her behind. I would have made it sound like you'd be happy to be friends with her if she broke up with him, so that it doesn't seem like you're too interested in her. But anyways, what's said is said.

I'd like to know what she does now. By the way you described the conversation, it seems like she wasn't as disappointed as I thought she'd be, since she didn't really seem to make an effort to stop you from leaving.

Keep us posted, this should be very interesting-

 

[Brasco]

Becker,

Your right, that was a gutsy move on my part but I am done playing with her. If she ever comes back knocking at my door then I won't have to guess or wonder on what she wants from me. Its been one year that I have known her, didn't spend that much time with her, I hardly seen her this winter. But I made up my mind and figured this is how I was going to let her know what I think of the situation. I think she got the point.

She didn't say much after because she didn't at all see this coming and she was shocked. She said bye as I was turning around to walk away, I could tell she wanted to say more but the words would not come out. She just stood their as I was walking away.

I was not a pr**k to her. I was saying this in a nice way. When I said " if I am still single " I said it with a smile, kind of in a joking way. Just have to see what happens, I am not in love with her so I don't really care, friends would be nice because she is a cool chick, while she is going out and living with buddy their is no chance on us even being friends.

 

[Brasco]

This is long becker but it is very interesting. Anyone feel free to comment.

Surprise, Surprise. Got a phone call last night from her, she said she was after redoing her resume and wanted to know if it was OK to come use my printer. I said sure, no problem. So when she showed up, her BF was with her, I almost droped to the floor. Its the first time she ever takes him over to my place, but I think it was him that wanted to be here with her when she came. I was talking to him while she was printing off her resume. Of course he was really nice to me this time because he was on my turf, but I can see he is the type that is really jealous. He has alot of AFC characters.

She calls me back at 11:00 pm that same night to see if she can use my printer again. She said that she noticed something on her resume and wants to change it, the resume has to be handed in by the morning. I said sure, come on over. This time she comes by herself, I guess the BF figured it would have been to obvious if he came the second time. After she was done she sat down to talk to me for awhile. She started questioning what I done on the weekend (she seen I stayed down this weekend and my car was not home to often), I just said (I was here and there) not really giving any specifics.

After we got the small talk out of the way she said that she was sorry for calling me. This is what she said "I know you told me that you didnt want to be around me because your uncomfortable. I would really like to still be able to visite you, you are a cool guy to have around. My BF is kind of jealous and he is living at my place now but he will lighten up after awhile, if not I will have to tell him that he has to start trusting me more or else" .

I said " The only reason why I said what I said is because you were trying to hide me from Joe (thats what I'll call him) and that made me really uncomfortable, especialy when he showed up twice unexpected, at your place when I was over. I did not know what to think of the situation. I have a couple of female friends that have BF's but they don't hide me from the BF, I ended up being really good friends with their BF's. I can understand Joe being jealous just for the simple fact that you were only coming around me when he was gone".

She says " Your right, it was not a good idea to do that to him or you, I guess maybe I had MIXED feelings at the time".

I say "Mixed feelings? To be truthfull Kim, that was what I was thinking of the situation but I knew you were dating him when me and you first met. I am the type of guy that don' t like to get in the middle of these kinds of situations. Thats why I don't call you or pop in to visite you like you do to me. You are a cool girl to be around and if you were not going out with Joe maybe I would have tried to bring our friendship to something more. I am OK just being friends with you, I am not the type of guy that falls in love easy or ignore a girl just because I can't have her. But your BF has to be cool with it."

She says " Well I am glad we got this out in the open, it was always on my mind. You really would of tried something if I wasn't with Joe?

I say " Well you were giving me the right signals, am I right or wrong? You just said you had MIXED feelings at the time. I take it them mixed feelings are gone now.

She says " I don't really know what I feel, I do love Joe but their are some things about him that I am starting to see more and more. I don't really know how long are relationship is going to last. Now with him living with me I see more. With you telling me that you would have gone after me if I was not with him makes me even more confused"

I say " Sorry for confusing you but since you were open with me i was open with you. I think it is great that we had this discusion to get things out in the open."

We kept talking for awhile longer then she said she should go before Joe starts wondering why she is so long printing off one paper.

So Becker, alot was said I don't know what will come out of it but at least we both know how we feel about one another. Sorry this was so long, I was just typing away not paying attention. Get back to me, I would like your opinion on the situation.

 

[becker]

Brasco,

Cool stuff, I am rooting for you since your situation shows that a girl with a BF isn't necessarily unattainable, as long as you work it correctly.

It seemed to be that she was interested in you all along, which is great. You really are in a no-lose situation as far as I'm concerned because she is the one that has to decide what to do, and if she chooses you, you need to make sure that there is no cheating going on so that she knows that you don't tolerate cheating. This way, it will let her know about how you feel about cheating and make it less likely that it will happen to you if you two ever get together.

I find this as sort of a way to play the game but not get too entangled emotionally in a girl who is involved. It doesn't seem like you need to do anything except let her keep wondering about you and perhaps eventually she may drop the chump and come to you. She knows you aren't totally against anything happening to you guys (the proverbial monkey making sure she has a good grasp of the next branch before letting go of the other) which may push her toward you more. Let the AFC BF just keep making his mistakes and see what happens.

It's amazing how much this passive aggressive stuff works, especially when you don't want it to. There's this one girl who was a friend of this girl who I was friends with. I didn't know the friend too much, but just today, we had a class together and the girl asked me if she could sit with me, and then told me to make sure that I saved her a seat tomorrow (several times). I mean, I barely spoke to this girl and it was actually my friend who I was more interested in, but probably made it more known. Bottom line, act like you're just not interested in women, and you end up getting more women liking you. Strange thing how this stuff works.

Keep us posted, Brasco, good stuff.

 

[Brasco]

Becker,

Thanks for reading that long post. Your right, all along she did have feelings for me. I don't think she will leave him to soon, if she does. She is a really soft and good hearted person, she hates to hurt people. Even if she wants to leave him I think it would take her awhile to get the nerve to do it. Time will tell!!! I am in no hurry, I have other things on the go right now.

 

[DraGon_luv]

I've read all the post ,,,

Crazy story man , Good job on what you, done ,

i am very interested to hear how the rest of your story developes,



~ sona~

 

[Brasco]

Thanks for the comment DraGon. Its a really weird situation, hard to say what the outcome will be. Their is another girl here in town that I could date (95% sure I could), she is not bad looking. I am wondering if I should date her just see what the other one will do. I am almost certain it would drive her crazy to see me with another girl here in town. I am seeing one in my home town but the only way she would know is if I would tell her and I won't do that. Later

 

[becker]

Brasco, I forgot to tell you before, but you need to show us a picture of this girl!

 

[Brasco]

I would if I had one, she is a 7.5 or 8 in looks but a 9.5 in personality.