Read people by what they drink

[horaholic]

PART A: WOMEN-DRINKS, WHO THEY ARE, & YOU!

Drink:Beer
Personality:Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach:Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink:Blender Drinks
Personality:Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach:Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink:Mixed Drinks
Personality:Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach:You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink......


Drink:Wine(does not includeWhite Zinfandel)
Personality:Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach:Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with my friends.


Drink:White Zinfandel
Personality:Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach:Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.



Drink:Shots
Personality:Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach:Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!


Drink:Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.




PART B: MAN-DRINKS & WHO THE MEN ARE!

THEN, there is the MALE addendum -- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.



Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.






Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.




Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid



Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.



White Zinfandel: He's gay

 

[Kailex]

Drink:Mixed Drinks
Personality:Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach:You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink......





NOT entirely true.
I was a bartender for 5 years and you have NO idea how many women ordered mixed drinks just because it was trendy. Think Cosmopolitans after Sex in the City.

I seriously had a lot of women who just had drinks because they looked pretty, had cherries, or because their female friends were having it. Some even had mixed drinks just because guys offered to buy a drink and this was "more expensive".

So... the mixed drink is a mixed approach. I think this is the greyest area when it comes to drinks.


But about the BLENDED DRINK one... 99% true. God I hated making those and the people who asked for them. Anyone who asks for a frozen Margarita or a Mudslide needs to die.

 

[5string]

"Anyone who asks for a frozen marguerita or a mudslide needs to die" I'm still laughing. Good one!

 

[Proselytiser]

What about stupid mixes like vodka and lemonade or bourbon and coke?

 

[SmoothTalker]

God I hated making those and the people who asked for them. Anyone who asks for a frozen Margarita or a Mudslide needs to die.

Considering you likely got a $1 or more tip for about 3 minutes worth of doing your job, suck it up princess. This is why bar etiquette annoys me, so many bartenders act like they're doing a favour to serve you.

 

[Kailex]

Opportunity costs, mate.

I could do at least 6 to 8 different rounds of beers/drinks in the time it would take me to make 1 Frozen Margarita for the girl who wanted a pretty drink.

On average, let's say I do get $1 per round. I'm missing out on 6 to 8 dollars because Little Miss Perfect wanted to have something blended and frozen.

Do this several times in a night, and it adds up.

I worked at a bar where the tip was individual and not shared, so I tended to ignore women who wanted this crap after the first time they asked. Sorry, but if it bothers you that I go on a tipping basis, tip more. I had bills to pay at the time and was going to go with whatever was more convinient for me.

And no, women usually don't tip either, by the way. Just a little fun fact for you there fellas.

Actually, you have NO idea how many times women tried to coerce me or persuade me to give them the drink for free... ummmmmm... NO.

 

[SmoothTalker]

I could care less how many bills you had to pay. Everyone has bills, or else they wouldn't be working.

And yes I understand the concept of opportunity cost, so from an economic standpoint I can see why they may annoy you.

But at the end of the day I just think you're spoiled and overpaid if you say you could make $6-8 in the time it takes you to make a blender drink. $100+ an hour for barely skilled labour is overpaid and I'd like to hear you explain why I'm wrong.

For the record I tip sufficiently to get me the level of service I want when I'm out but I do this out of necessity because the system is stupid, not because I think a bartender deserves a tip for reaching into the fridge and pulling out a beer.

Frankly, I'd be thrilled to see beer bottle vending machines replace you guys in bars. No bull****, no favouritism, no bartenders giving away free drinks to hot chicks. Would be quite nice actually, pretty sure you could get a machine to make mixed drinks too. Perhaps I should look into it.

 

[WaterTiger]

I like mixed drinks, usually a rum & coke or an amaretto sour (VERY 80's drink)

...and I ALWAYS tip when I'm buying, because bartenders are COOL! They know the best places for dinner, will call you a cab, and if you tell them you're the designated driver, will often slide you a free cola now and then.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Sam Adams is the world's greatest beer...in the WORLD

Used to drink alot of Maker's Mark and other premium bourbon, got sick of the epic hangovers.

I'd like to get into wine, what are the good reds?

 

[Rogue]

Drink psychology is bogus. Yes, it may glean insight into someone's mood at the moment but not into their overall personality. One might drink beer one night but red wine or scotch on another, and what drinks you have during dinner (e.g. wine) might not correspond to social drinking (e.g. beer or shots).

 

[horaholic]

Drink psychology is bogus. Yes, it may glean insight into someone's mood at the moment but not into their overall personality. One might drink beer one night but red wine or scotch on another, and what drinks you have during dinner (e.g. wine) might not correspond to social drinking (e.g. beer or shots).

Dude. Its a joke. I REALLY hope noone on here would think that this is in any way serious.

 

[Kailex]

I could care less how many bills you had to pay. Everyone has bills, or else they wouldn't be working.

And yes I understand the concept of opportunity cost, so from an economic standpoint I can see why they may annoy you.

But at the end of the day I just think you're spoiled and overpaid if you say you could make $6-8 in the time it takes you to make a blender drink. $100+ an hour for barely skilled labour is overpaid and I'd like to hear you explain why I'm wrong.

For the record I tip sufficiently to get me the level of service I want when I'm out but I do this out of necessity because the system is stupid, not because I think a bartender deserves a tip for reaching into the fridge and pulling out a beer.

Frankly, I'd be thrilled to see beer bottle vending machines replace you guys in bars. No bull****, no favouritism, no bartenders giving away free drinks to hot chicks. Would be quite nice actually, pretty sure you could get a machine to make mixed drinks too. Perhaps I should look into it.

By the way, for the record, I do agree with everything you said.
I was just stating MY personal case. :yes:
But no, bartenders are not over-paid, rather, sometimes overtipped, which is a different issue.

And trust me, no one's replacing me, I gave that up years ago. It was just helping me get through college. I'd never want to work at a bar ever again.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Martinis are like titties, one's not enough, but three is too many.