Reaching out

[mello222]

Medium time lurker, first time poster.

Hey fellas.

First of all, big thanks to everyone contributing to all the discussions and to ones posting all the guides over the forum. You have been a great help on my way to a better lifestyle. Kudos to you!

Little background. I am 29yo, recently red pilled guy. In my younger days I didn't really have much problems with girls, but it turns out, that it wasn't because I was that good at the game, but more because I was bailed out by my pretty face and being the funny, liked by most kinda guy. So vast majority of my lays/plates were woman from my social circles. I rarely had to approach, but now I understand that by doing that I was really restricting who I was actually able to date/have sex with. Then few things changed. I got complacent with my life. Got fat, stopped caring about myself. Lost my job and in the end I become depressed.

Luckily like a few months ago I was finally able to make some moves and started changing my life. I moved out of the country, got a new job, started working out, lost like 50pounds, then got another 15 from pure muscles. Everything was going fine. Before end of the year I got approached by my boss and told they will be opening new branch in my homeland and if I wanna realocate there with a promotion. Well I didn't have to think much, because while my life was much better since I moved out, going back would mean getting a significant payrise (my motherland's currency is much weaker compared to the other country's one) and also I was kinding missing being able to connect with people without language barrier.

Okay here come my questions. I skimmed through forum and I'm sure similar questions were answered somewhere, but FOR SURE my situation is unique (heh of course it isn't).

Should I try to get into contact with my old plates? Before I left I unfortunetly was victim to the dry spell and while right now I am happy with my sex life, moving back to my country = dropping all the women from here. Of course I would have to start approaching new people when I get back but it would be nice to have something already scheduled. And if so:

Are you guys the ones who reinitiate contact with them to see what's up? Or just wait till one day they hit you up? (This might be kinda difficult, because I changed all my contact info when moving).

Also would it make sense to contact one particular woman I had interacted shortly before departing. I can tell her IL were really high, cause we went on two dates, while I was displaying stupid amounts of beta behaviors and failing to make an actual move on her. Ashamed to say, but I guess my insecurities were too much for me to handle by that time and I decided to cut ties even tho she was still displaying willingness to go out again. I'm curious if this is unsalvagable or should I just shoot my shot. We gonna stumble upon each other sooner or later anyway, cause she is part of one of the social circles practicing one of my hobbies (that's how we met in the first place).

Well, maybe that's enough for the first post or else I am gonna write a novel.

Peace,
M.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Should I try to get into contact with my old plates?

Depends. Were they highly attracted to you and putting out the last time you saw them? If yes, maybe.

If you were fat a depressed the last time they saw you, then no.

Normally you initiate. They have to say yes or counter offer; anything else is a "no". Comply or bye.

Welcome to SoSuave

 

[Kotaix]

Even if you aren't going to bang them, it will be worth your while to re-establish your social circle in your homeland, and older plates are a good way to do that.

 

[Stuffnu]

Welcome and why not?
You got nothing to lose as long as you‘re prepared for silence or rejection.
Tell them straight up you’re leaving country and looking for lively entertainment (wink wink) before you go.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Why not build a new rotation from scratch? Give yourself that challenge.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I relate to you in the sense that when I was younger, I never had to approach.. women usually approached me/or just fell into my lap due to social circles/friend groups. I've also had times where I let myself go a bit but..

yes, you should hit them up. Its a good platform for which to lilly pad /skyjump off of.. Always good to have some pu.ssy somewhere while going after new pu.ssy.

 

[bat soup]

Medium time lurker, first time poster.

Hey fellas.

First of all, big thanks to everyone contributing to all the discussions and to ones posting all the guides over the forum. You have been a great help on my way to a better lifestyle. Kudos to you!

Little background. I am 29yo, recently red pilled guy. In my younger days I didn't really have much problems with girls, but it turns out, that it wasn't because I was that good at the game, but more because I was bailed out by my pretty face and being the funny, liked by most kinda guy. So vast majority of my lays/plates were woman from my social circles. I rarely had to approach, but now I understand that by doing that I was really restricting who I was actually able to date/have sex with. Then few things changed. I got complacent with my life. Got fat, stopped caring about myself. Lost my job and in the end I become depressed.

Luckily like a few months ago I was finally able to make some moves and started changing my life. I moved out of the country, got a new job, started working out, lost like 50pounds, then got another 15 from pure muscles. Everything was going fine. Before end of the year I got approached by my boss and told they will be opening new branch in my homeland and if I wanna realocate there with a promotion. Well I didn't have to think much, because while my life was much better since I moved out, going back would mean getting a significant payrise (my motherland's currency is much weaker compared to the other country's one) and also I was kinding missing being able to connect with people without language barrier.

Okay here come my questions. I skimmed through forum and I'm sure similar questions were answered somewhere, but FOR SURE my situation is unique (heh of course it isn't).

Should I try to get into contact with my old plates? Before I left I unfortunetly was victim to the dry spell and while right now I am happy with my sex life, moving back to my country = dropping all the women from here. Of course I would have to start approaching new people when I get back but it would be nice to have something already scheduled. And if so:

Are you guys the ones who reinitiate contact with them to see what's up? Or just wait till one day they hit you up? (This might be kinda difficult, because I changed all my contact info when moving).

Also would it make sense to contact one particular woman I had interacted shortly before departing. I can tell her IL were really high, cause we went on two dates, while I was displaying stupid amounts of beta behaviors and failing to make an actual move on her. Ashamed to say, but I guess my insecurities were too much for me to handle by that time and I decided to cut ties even tho she was still displaying willingness to go out again. I'm curious if this is unsalvagable or should I just shoot my shot. We gonna stumble upon each other sooner or later anyway, cause she is part of one of the social circles practicing one of my hobbies (that's how we met in the first place).

Well, maybe that's enough for the first post or else I am gonna write a novel.

Peace,
M.

Generally, old stale contacts are pretty much useless. You can try them, but don't expect much and don't waste too much energy on them.

 

[SargeMaximus]

If you were fat a depressed the last time they saw you, then no.

You don’t think showing up as an improved version of yourself is gonna be attractive? Interesting

 

[Divorced w 3]

You don’t think showing up as an improved version of yourself is gonna be attractive? Interesting

No because you’re inherently seeking their validation. Who gives a f

 

[mello222]

Thanks all for the replies.

Why not build a new rotation from scratch? Give yourself that challenge.

I relate to you in the sense that when I was younger, I never had to approach.. women usually approached me/or just fell into my lap due to social circles/friend groups. I've also had times where I let myself go a bit but..

yes, you should hit them up. Its a good platform for which to lilly pad /skyjump off of.. Always good to have some pu.ssy somewhere while going after new pu.ssy.

That was kinda my "reasoning". But maybe it was just old, beta me trying to break through again to go back to easy ways. And while I strive to be a DJ there is still a long road ahead of me so building rotation probably gonna take some time. And I would rather not go back to dry spell again ugh. But if most advice it is just a waste of time I guess I'll be just skipping it. If we ever bumb into each other I'll gauge their interest from there, if not, not a big deal.

M.

 

[Dr.Suave]

You don’t think showing up as an improved version of yourself is gonna be attractive? Interesting

I guess it depends. If they bump into him or saw him on social media it can be positive. If he calls them or text them and the last memory they have of him is being fat and depressed, it might not be as positive.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I guess it depends. If they bump into him or saw him on social media it can be positive. If he calls them or text them and the last memory they have of him is being fat and depressed, it might not be as positive.

Oh yeah that’s fair. I thought they were seeing them in person

 

[RazorRambo24]

Thanks all for the replies.




That was kinda my "reasoning". But maybe it was just old, beta me trying to break through again to go back to easy ways. And while I strive to be a DJ there is still a long road ahead of me so building rotation probably gonna take some time. And I would rather not go back to dry spell again ugh. But if most advice it is just a waste of time I guess I'll be just skipping it. If we ever bumb into each other I'll gauge their interest from there, if not, not a big deal.

M.

Personally you should be more focused on finding 1 or 2 good friends to go out with often and start socializing with and picking up new girls. Hit them is up is fine .. I mean why wouldnt you hit people back up when you're back in your country.. only makes sense.. but , since you're not used to approach, make that a priority.. It gets alot of fun to go out and talk to women.. It becomes a whole activity/hobby within itself.. and when you get good at knowing who to approach.. its becomes cake to collect #'s and contacts.. the other side to it is dealing with getting them out on a date. That's why whenever you can, its best to try to leave a good, lasting impression on them..

 

[mello222]

Personally you should be more focused on finding 1 or 2 good friends to go out with often and start socializing with and picking up new girls. Hit them is up is fine .. I mean why wouldnt you hit people back up when you're back in your country.. only makes sense.. but , since you're not used to approach, make that a priority.. It gets alot of fun to go out and talk to women.. It becomes a whole activity/hobby within itself.. and when you get good at knowing who to approach.. its becomes cake to collect #'s and contacts.. the other side to it is dealing with getting them out on a date. That's why whenever you can, its best to try to leave a good, lasting impression on them..

Yeah of course. That is my main goal after coming back. I was just curious if it's worth contacting any of the old ones, 'cause some of them might be up to having some fun. You know. Less chances of one-itis, etc. But after reading all the replies I guess I will just go full reset. Should be funnier. I am bound to bump into few of them anyway, because as I said most of my lays were from social circles.

 

[Gamisch]

Bad idea. Especially if you know you'll run into them. So you think they did nothing and met no new guys in the meantime?

Your best excuse is the fact you'll move back. You might make a post saying I AM BACK btches!! ( with your new 50 lbs less body) and see who responds.

I must be honest though, couple months ago I tried to get with a old plate. Didn't work, got rejected. From that moment I decided to NEVER hot up old plates again while going through a dry spell.