Re-inventing myself. step one.

[jackofasses]

So I'm using the hypnotica CD and I'm gonna try and do this along with any therapy i take and see what comes of it. I may stop therapy all together if i find this works.

Step 1 is setting goals.. so i'm posting on here for some feedback. You know, to either help streamline things i'm writing and to kinda brainstorm and get ideas of things that inspire me.

so here it goes:

I am the man who's posture exudes confidence, who has a strong physical presence and who can carry on intruiging conversations with anyone. My non-verbal communication reflects this.

I am the man who succeeds in everything he does, who approaches any challenge head on with everything he can bring to the table. I bring everything to the table.

I am the man who is intelligent and positive in the way he sees and approaches life.

I am the man who loves who he is, his sense of humor, his care free attitude and his the spontaneous way in which he lives his day to day life.

I am the man who is in control of his emotions, who chooses easily and effectively the most appropriate postivie response to any situation.

I am the man who's thoughts and actions are full of positive creative energy that helps him remove all obstacles.

I am the man who can easily identify and set goals and who accomplishes them with ease.

I am the man who's thoughts are clear and easy to identify, who's mind is calm and always at ease.

I am the man who can control his emotions, his career, his outlook on life, his health and the way in which he percieves the world around him.

I am the man who accepts change, who is fearless of all that he can control in his life.


these are just a few of the things i've come up with. I'm not sure if some of them are too redundant or whatever.. or maybe you guys can think of something that I can't seem to figure out. I'm trying to setup some good brickwork here for the foundation of this program.. so i dunno.

positive feedback is welcome.

 

[NickBe]

I have seen plenty of studies that say those CD's are completely worthless. I do not think you should bother with them. Therapy is fine though that actually can work so keep that up. I advise you got to a male therapist though.

 

[Street_Fighter]

there is simply too much content...those affirmations help bend and shape beliefs overtime.What exactly are you looking to get out of these cds? if it's confidence you are after it would do you much more benefit to engage in activities that bring out the results you are looking for.For example,what you could do is right next to each and every one of those affirmations you can write out an activity that would require that skillset you are after...then practice it or do that activity over and over again until you begin to feel differently.There is a difference between telling yourself you are a braveman you are a braveman you are a braveman..OR you can do something you genuinly fear and reap the benefits of courage and confidence knowing that you've gone through the actions needed to aquire those genuine traits..it's there.BAM! right in your face, you actualy feel the emotions in your blood and vains,rather then mindlessly following affirmations or endless repetitiions of suggestions...actions speak louder then words.:rockon:

 

[jackofasses]

They aren't designed to be 'affirmations'. Those are goals that i want to achieve. I simply write them in the present and with positive content so as to reinforce what i want and the urgency with which i want it.

You can't say "tomorrow i want this" because tomorrow never comes.

in laymans terms i'm basically just saying my goals are:

to be a man

to be in control of my emotions

to be positive

to have a calm mind

to set goals regularly and without effort (to know what i want)

to be able to carry a good conversation

to be a success

to love myself

to change and rid myself of my flaws.

 

[squirrels]

I have seen plenty of studies that say those CD's are completely worthless. I do not think you should bother with them. Therapy is fine though that actually can work so keep that up. I advise you got to a male therapist though.

They're "magic dancing shoes". That's all. A placebo effect. What really makes a difference is the belief that the user has that it's going to work.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

They aren't designed to be 'affirmations'. Those are goals that i want to achieve. I simply write them in the present and with positive content so as to reinforce what i want and the urgency with which i want it...

You're on the right track. It definitely helps when you write down goals to make them feel tangible and not just an idea. I'd expand upon each of the goals by writing a short scenario (almost like a FR) of you enacting one of those goals. In a nutshell, you'll be making each of them more vivid without even experiencing them yet.

 

[jackofasses]

You're on the right track. It definitely helps when you write down goals to make them feel tangible and not just an idea. I'd expand upon each of the goals by writing a short scenario (almost like a FR) of you enacting one of those goals. In a nutshell, you'll be making each of them more vivid without even experiencing them yet.

Good to see someone thinks i'm taking a good approach. Not sure exactly what I should put as a scenario or whatever. This is just step one of the program though. Just making goals. I'm just wondering if anybody has any other ideas for good tangeable goals right now for SELF improvement. I'm not too worried about my job or any of that RIGHT now. I'm just busy working on me right now, getting my head clear, getting my emotions in check.. stuff like that.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good to see someone thinks i'm taking a good approach. Not sure exactly what I should put as a scenario or whatever. This is just step one of the program though. Just making goals. I'm just wondering if anybody has any other ideas for good tangeable goals right now for SELF improvement. I'm not too worried about my job or any of that RIGHT now. I'm just busy working on me right now, getting my head clear, getting my emotions in check.. stuff like that.

Make it up. Specifically, imagine a situation which depicts how a guy with whose posture exudes confidence who can carry on intriguing conversations with anyone.

Don't add too many goals at once, the complexity will bog you down. The list that you have is more than enough to start with. Next steps after visualizing the outcome is to determine the individual steps that you need to complete to achieve each of the goals.

 

[Monkey]

I have seen plenty of studies that say those CD's are completely worthless. I do not think you should bother with them. Therapy is fine though that actually can work so keep that up. I advise you got to a male therapist though.

The brain does not know the difference between reality and thoughts. If you spend enough time using those CDs, the ones which require you to visualise yourself more confident (or whatever) they WILL have positive benefits eventually.

If nothing else you'll spend 30 minutes in deep relaxation daily which is invaluable.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The brain does not know the difference between reality and thoughts. If you spend enough time using those CDs, the ones which require you to visualise yourself more confident (or whatever) they WILL have positive benefits eventually....

:yes: You are absolutely right, the mind manifests whatever is put into it. As long as you're open and receptive to the "reprogramming" you will be more inclined to get a benefit from it. Any doubts will negatively impact the chance of success.

 

[jackofasses]

:yes: You are absolutely right, the mind manifests whatever is put into it. As long as you're open and receptive to the "reprogramming" you will be more inclined to get a benefit from it. Any doubts will negatively impact the chance of success.

That's the real secret to 'the secret'. It's not necessarily that the univers hands you everything. But you ask for it, you focus on it, you program that desire into your brain. From there on, you naturally take the steps to get it without even realizing it.

At least thats my take on things. The mind is a wonderful thing.

 

[speakeasy]

All these things were summed up long ago...."I think therefore I am".

 

[Street_Fighter]

They aren't designed to be 'affirmations'. Those are goals that i want to achieve. I simply write them in the present and with positive content so as to reinforce what i want and the urgency with which i want it.

You can't say "tomorrow i want this" because tomorrow never comes.

in laymans terms i'm basically just saying my goals are:

to be a man

to be in control of my emotions

to be positive

to have a calm mind

to set goals regularly and without effort (to know what i want)

to be able to carry a good conversation

to be a success

to love myself

to change and rid myself of my flaws.

it can be narrowed down to 'confidence in all that I do' because at the root of each and everyone of those suggesstions.traits whatever you call them,lays confidence at it's root.Trust me,I used to do all this too.I'd list a ton of sugggestions and affirmations,yeah it worked - but it still takes alot of time to really dig it into your psyche.It works,yes- but actions speak louder then words and though it'll keep you on track the proposed actions will create faster results.
Reminds me when I wanted to learn how to race a 5 speed(car) though I couldn't even drive.I read all the books ,manuals,everything I could get my hand on about street racing and cars,I even told myself I can do this I can do this..though I was terrified and lacked confidence in how to operate a 5 speed.Until the day I just did it..I drove until I got it right.Stalling at every light and stop sign,grinding all the gears.miss shifting and granny shiffty all the ways to where ever I was going..I learned how to drive in about a week,in about a months time I was at the local drags strip,then caynon roads.Though I am somewhat against street racing except on closed off areas, I am more then confident enough to handle most any car I am in.Experiance gets you in the drivers seat and your way to your goals...

 

[Street_Fighter]

just for the record..jack of asses may not be the best screen name to exude confidence. I understand the angle you are trying to work with the name and all..but yikes..

 

[reset]

Good responses here guys. And I have to agree with Street Fighter. It's like having the screen name "TotalAFC" (sorry if there is a guy like this here).

So JOA, the important thing is that you're doing SOMETHING. I believe the "secret" will help you too. The MAIN thing, is that whatever tools you end up using, being committed to getting results from them, is going to be the thing that works for you. This means if this or that program doesn't work for you, you STILL keep going.

This CD may or may not help, but it may give you a new insight, or you may hear about something else you want to look into... just as long as you're moving forward.

And to agree with the guys here, first you have to really believe you are this new person you want to be. You have to learn to start feeling the way he would feel, and think. Then you will do the things he would do. And you won't be able to help yourself.

THIS is why I suggested the journal. The guy who isn't you, has hijacked your brain, and for me, using a journal helped me to squeeze him out of my head and onto paper... better there than in my head.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

.. The mind is a wonderful thing.

Yeah, but in order to take advantage of the wonderment, people have to actually use their mind and stop limiting it's ability.

 

[jackofasses]

For the most part i like who i am ya know. I mean. Alot of the girls I talk to and the last 2 that i've dated have been beautiful. One is even a model. So the quality of the girls is there, i can attract them on occasion and they fall head over heals.. but all it takes is that small moment of insecurity and i **** it all up with a bad temper and then a complete emotional breakdown.

That's the part that i hate, that's the part that isn't me. That's the part of me i'm tryin to kill anyway. I mean, had I just not lost my cool (in every relationship) and been an ass i doubt that any of them would have ended the way they did. I know what my flaws are but they just keep on creepin back in. It's hard to control your emotions and to recognize what triggers them and to stop them in their tracks. I'm sure alot of it is the victim mentality and that feeling of helplessness that comes with having no control over anything in your life. Feeling like a slave of circumstances.

I went to therapy today.. it didn't do much but it did confirm alot of what I thought. What was supposed to be a 50 minute session actually went on for an hour and 5 minutes. Now I have to monitor my emotions and find out where in the hell it comes from over the next 2 weeks. I gotta make sure i can focus on that though.. I lose focus alot.. Not to mention my frustrations get the better of me alot too. It could be as simple as not being able to find somethng that'll set me off swearing and getting irritated... or trying to put music on my cell only for the computer to say 'Not enough room to copy files' and rather than it just not copying the last one it doesnt' copy any of them so then i get pissed that now i'm running late for work, not gonna have time to get the music i want on my cell, and now have to do a 2 hour bus ride to work in silence.

I dunno.. seems ridiculous but it's enough to get my blood boiling. That's the **** i'm tryin to change.. i've been surrounded by it my whole life. My dad is 60 and flies off the handle swearing over nothing. I see how ridiculous it is when he does it.. then I go and do the same. I catch myself alot and think "what the **** are you doing? it's not that bad" but still.. I still do it.

I've been picked on my whole life (Until i hit 6 feet tall and about 260lbs because now i look big and solid and even then i work in a nerd store so i still get the odd comment) been cheated on twice (one of which was with my best friend at the time and ALL of my friends knew about it and not one of them had the balls to tell me, they all took HIS side at the time.) and i've never had a fulfilling relationship until the last one (even though i never met her). Those of you who have been here know that switching your outlook is hard, and im not fond of hard work either, i'm naturally quite lazy (as are all people). My insecurities make me very paranoid which leads to jealousy and stupid accusations which eventually piss off the girl. I don't really realize what i'm doing until the damage has been done and then i can't take it back.

jackofasses is actually something i picked because of who i am and my sense of humor. Yeah, I can be a jackass most of the time, but i'm a funny jackass. It's one of those just random funny things that came up one day and it's always stuck. I have an odd sense of humor, it was how i was raised. You're talking to a guy who found out his mom had cancer and had the following train of thought "my poor mom is going through chemo, she's gonna lose all her hair. Wait a minute, i have a shaved head too! We can be twins! Oh wait.. i'm pretty ****in ugly... Mom, I hope you look better bald than I do." I found it amusing, my mom loved it and laughed.. most people found it mildly amusing.. some found it insensitive. But that's the kind of thinking i love, the kind that can take something negative and not take it to heart, who can laugh it off and keep going. I just can't seem to do it with my love life.