Re-initiated contact with ex, now she hates my guts

[andy_4029]

Ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. Didnt talk to her for a week after that, then a week later when I did I was basically very beta and asked her straight up to give our relationship another change. She said no and just wanted to be friends, however I deleted her from facebook and did NC the whole time after that. The reason she broke up with me was because I did not let her hang out with any of her guy friends one on one and basically gave her an ultimatum to stop smoking. Now I realize I shouldnt have done that.

Ive been following the advice from the ex2 system, the system recommends NC for 3-4 weeks then sending them a message saying how the break up was for the best, but it would be a shame to throw away such a great friendship. The next step would be to meet up with them as friends and basically re attract them, because of the platonic vibe she would not be hesitant to meetup with you.

I sent her a message on facebook the other day basically saying how she was right the break up was for the best, and that I hope we could still be friends.

Her response:

"What changed the mind? all the **** you put me through untill this day makes me never want to speak to you again. you think you can just walk right back into my life? the second i got that message i got shivers, i finally ****ing forgot you! and you waltz back thinking your going to get back into my life. Im not that stupid little ***** you think i am, that will let you even take a tiny step back into MY life.
and i know i broke up with you but im sick of what you did. bye."

Honestly, I have no idea what I did, when we were dating I was not an abusive boyfriend or anything like that. I mean after all she was the one that broke up with me.

My goal is to get her back, and no I do not have one-itis over this girl. I am 100% sure of that. Dont tell me I do just because I made this thread. I did when I first contacted her a week later, but not anymore. If I do not get her back then oh well, this is life and **** happens. Since the break up ive been on plenty of dates with other girls. But they are just not the same. This girl has many of the traits I look for.

My questions:
1. Is she pissed off because I did NC making it hard for her to move on and because I did not try to get her back anymore, basically hurting her ego?

2. Could the reason she broke up with me be because of her friends, im thinking it might be this because one of her best friends is the one who she used to smoke with. And because of me they didnt do it anymore. Also, from all her facebook statuses during the past month it sounds like she is really hurt even though shes the one who broke up with me. Making me think she is forcing herself to stop liking me. Some of them are things like "do I listen to my heart or my mind," "when you walk away and they dont chase you keep walking." These are only a few and im pretty sure they are about me.

3. Am I just wasting my time? I mean it sounds like she just hates my guts. The only reason I think I still have a chance is because if she was truly over me she wouldnt have cared at all when I messaged her, yet I managed to get a very big emotional response from her.

 

[ELITE]

Don't waste your time, and try to contact her later or again. You gave it a second chance. That was more than enough. Don't feed her Ego anymore. She's immature, and girls like this you don't want a relationship with. They are dramma queens. Seems she came back with that reply, to try to play mind games with you. And not respect you. Thats when you know, you got to move on. Its hard but just don't expect evey girl to be the same bond you guys had. Just have fun! with them and the right one will come along again. Seems like she wants to play games, if she can't stop talking to other guys so much. That you don't approve on. Just dont look insecure about it. Your in highschool spin plates have fun!! Get over it now!!

 

[chosen2]

Don't waste your time, and try to contact her later or again. You gave it a second chance. That was more than enough. Don't feed her Ego anymore. She's immature, and girls like this you don't want a relationship with. They are dramma queens. Seems she came back with that reply, to try to play mind games with you. And not respect you. Thats when you know, you got to move on. Its hard but just don't expect evey girl to be the same bond you guys had. Just have fun! with them and the right one will come along again. Seems like she wants to play games, if she can't stop talking to other guys so much. That you don't approve on. Just dont look insecure about it. Your in highschool spin plates have fun!! Get over it now!!

i think she still cares about you. If not why all the bs. You are feeding her ego give her more space date, stay active. If your not ready to move on then dont. it will hurt more to think about it. I'm in the same boat only I have a kid. My suggestion is follow pook dodging the bullet advice.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

i think she still cares about you. If not why all the bs. You are feeding her ego give her more space date, stay active. If your not ready to move on then dont. it will hurt more to think about it. I'm in the same boat only I have a kid. My suggestion is follow pook dodging the bullet advice.

Chosen2, why would we even listen to you? You've been trolling the main forum hard.
You give decent advice tho, apart from the fact that "he's feeding her ego". That's completely irrelevant, and should never be a factor in your decisions

 

[shyguy32]

Chosen2 gives decent advice? Really?

DJ Hero is giving you the right advice!

Obviously high school is going to be the toughest times because you're still learning all of this stuff, but at least you have a head start!! Get all this **** down now and you'll be golden when you get in your early 20's.

I'm trying to teach my son **** now so that he has the upper hand, but society still tries to tell him that he needs to be "sensitive" and not cross any "boundaries"!

If you're not touching someone against their will or stalking them obsessively, then there are no boudaries! As you get older you'll realize how far you can push each individual woman. some you take slow, some you move faster..

But isn't one saying here "any emotion is positive emotion" and obviously you have stirred up emotions!

But If you want to pursue this one, I would turn it around on her.

She's pissed at you? I would just say something like...

"Why the hostility, if anyone should be angry here it should be ME!"

But when I think about it, it just seems so damn useless to even continue! The only thing this could be for is a game to see if you can get her back, but do you really want to scar this girl emotionally this early in her life? Just move on to other chicks! I've re intiated contact usually 6 mo after the fact and then I can establish a f-buddy relationship saying "Well the sex was good, but obviously we dont' click as a couple"!

 

[andy_4029]

But when I think about it, it just seems so damn useless to even continue! The only thing this could be for is a game to see if you can get her back

Thats pretty much the only reason im doing this in the first place. Thats what I meant when I said I dont have one-itis on this girl even though some other posters dont belive me. I think it will be a good learning experience regardless of what the outcome turns out to be.

 

[mobiusheartbreak]

haha alright well good luck