Random Tips That Will Get You Laid

JPFromTally

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Ahh.. it's so funny to hear you youngins' ***** about how hard it is to get laid. Once you get to be my age.. 25.. you'll see how much harder it is. But here are some tips from one who knows better.


TIP ONE
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Everybody who's been out of high school secretly has a wish that they could go back because if they would they could get laid so much more. Essentially in high school the best way to get yourself laid is to have one thing that seperates you from all the other guys. I would recommend dressing well.. not well like new baggy pants and new baseball cap well (cuz that's how everyone else dresses). Wella as in how they dress in GQ. Buy your clothes from Banana Republic not American Eagle... Then, once you understand this one thing you will have sex exponentially:
1. If you're a senior or junior in h.s. forget about all the girls in your grade!!! Any of the ones that are worth it are all bonking college guys anyway! Trust me.. i've been the college guy!
2. Concentrate on the freshman and sophmore girls. Once these little teenyboppers see you so well dressed like some guy they drool over on T.V. YOU WILL develop a little fan club. Then it's so easy to just jump from one to the other... I didn't realize this little knowledge until my last few months in h.s. and I kick myself for not realizing it sooner.

TIP TWO
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If you're gonna go out talking to ladies do a breath check first. No one wants to talk to a guy who's mouth smells like poop.
1. Floss your teeth.
2. Smell the floss?
3. Stinks like your dogs behind? So does your breath.. Do something about it.

TIP THREE
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If you're a freshman in college the most guaranteed way to get laid is to live in a dorm! If not make friends with someone who does. These girls might as well put signs on their doors that say "want to have sex." It seems that after they leave the dorms college girls get more frigid.

TIP FOUR
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If you are too shy to mack on a girl the best thing you can do create some feelings for her for you is to do the following:
1. Have one of your friends (preferably female) tell the girl that she thinks you like her. Have her say something like "Yeah.. I overheard him talking about how he likes you and thinks you're really cute."
2. The next time you see her.. This is important... don't pay as much attention to her and FLIRT WITH ANOTHER GIRL! This will drive her insane and she will start having weird feelings and she will begin asking herself why she's jealous. It's important not to completely ignore her because you don't want to make her think you're mad at her.

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Hope these help....

J.P.
 

scottdahustla

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how about if you are 26 and live with mommy!

I'm older than you dog!

What now huh?

Have any advice for me?
 

JPFromTally

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I'm still working on the tips for the old fogeys like us.. Will be in a different post.
 

TheBlackStar

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I have a question for you. Can you cross the line when it comes to dressing to nice? Like what if I come to school wearing black gucci slacks and matching shoes what kind shirt should I wear? Or like a brown Farregammo leather jacket, with macthing Mu Mu shoes? How do I put all that together? I think I have mastered the art of the Jean, sweater combo with a nice pair of clean shoes or sneakers. So I guess the question is what is over board, and where should I go from here?
 

BigBadJon

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Originally posted by JPFromTally:
Ahh.. it's so funny to hear you youngins' ***** about how hard it is to get laid. Once you get to be my age.. 25.. you'll see how much harder it is. But here are some tips from one who knows better.
If they only knew.......Looking back I had so many opportunites when I was younger....wonder what happens to them all after you pass your early 20's?

I'm trying to get back in the groove again. I wanna relive some of those missed opportunities!
 
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