Random girl on the street - Help Needed!!

[BritBoy]

Ok guys, I've been lurking and shadowing in this forum for a while and have picked up on various valuable advises you guys very generously shared.

Now I have a little question regarding this approach I attempted a couple of weeks ago -

There's this very cute girl I see everyday on my way to work and it took me a good few days to decide to approach because we are going different directions, had it been us going to the same direction to work I won't hesitate, as it seems more awkard to stop someone going past you dead on the street. 

Anyway I did and said straight out if she fancy a coffee. I think she's more shocked than anything and started giggling! Now that throw me completely off course as I was prepared what to say in a yes and a no scenario...In the end I said something daft and she smiled and said no thank you and we left it at that.

Anyway I still see her every day and now she smiles and say hi. My question is this - should I try approaching her again?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Yes, of course you should!
Say something playful though, don't single her out just because you think she's cute.

There are many ways you can do this, I suggest you find your own way, but I'll give you an example anyway:
"Hey so when will you be joining me for that coffee? I like saying hi to you everyday, but that just won't do it for a guy like me. "

She'll throw you a curveball after this - she's going to test you, and your job is to pass her tests.
ALWAYS return the conversation to the subject of YOU AND HER going out for coffee.

For example, if she says something like "I don't know you that well," respond to her like "All the more reason for you to join me. "

Smile and play with her until she agrees to go with you, then set up the date. Whatever shyt test she throws at you, you MUST respond with confidence that she wants to go with you but wants you to convince her first.

Don't go out of your way and start offering her things other than your precious time and warm company. Tell her that you two will have some stimulating conversation.

Be creative and get your point across. You have to be persistent though and not let her slip through your fingers.
The fact that she smiles and says hi to you after you've revealed your interest to her proves that you can seduce her, because she is submitting some of her social value/attention to you.

In more simplified words - hell yeah you have a chance, go get that date!

 

[BritBoy]

Thank you for your thoughts 'I'm in the Mood'

Since the first approach I'm pretty glad she hasn't change to another route to go to work and when she smiles and say hi I often do the same back. But I just think it's kind of stupid to just smile and say hi all the time lol

But on the other hand if I approach her again and she says no this time, it would be two 'no's and she'd probably think I'm a stalker!!!

I kind of think that since I've already make the first move and have been open and friendly, if she's interested, she'd have approached me?

That's why I'm in two minds, since I've often heard you guys say - when a girl say no have some dignity and walk away to show your value!

 

[CarlitosWay]

Why not next time you see her say "hi hun what's up?" *exchange small talk, joke laugh bs whatever* then be like "yeah sometimes I meet up friends at so and so coffee place at so and so time, swing by so you can buy me that coffee you owe me" *wink*

Make it quick and smooth, if she counter offers with some other time. say you're a busy man, I'll call you and we'll meet up a another time.

fuc-k it what do you have to lose.....? without what you learned thus far you wouldn't have even considered approaching her in any confident way.

 

[BritBoy]

See difficultY is that as we walk PASS each other every day as we go OPPOSITE directions! I had to stop her dead on the street for my first approach and I find it awkward to stop her and just do small talk...I thought it should either lead to her coming for a coffee with me there and then or a number close.

Anyway I'll give what you guys said a try the next couple of days....if I can pluck up the courage for a possible second rejection lol

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

See difficultY is that as we walk PASS each other every day as we go OPPOSITE directions! I had to stop her dead on the street for my first approach and I find it awkward to stop her and just do small talk...I thought it should either lead to her coming for a coffee with me there and then or a number close.

Anyway I'll give what you guys said a try the next couple of days....if I can pluck up the courage for a possible second rejection lol

You're just making an excuse to yourself. The mind is a funny thing.

Do you REALLY think that creeping up on her from behind would be a lot better situation?

 

[BritBoy]

Good point! I'll have a go.

 

[AMDG]

Rejection is always better than regret. Be positive - most relationships start between "random" people bumping into each other in real life or on the net.

 

[sodbuster]

If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't be smiling and saying Hi. ASK ALREADY!

 

[BritBoy]

Update guys, well, not much of one really...still see her most mornings to work and she still smiles and says hi but I just couldn't bring myself to do a second approach to her. Now am really kicking myself how pathetic I am!!!

Might...try again tomorrow....

 

[BritBoy]

Actually, I'm shifting focus man...this is driving me crazy!!! I have a sneaky feeling she might just trying to be polite. I'll stop smiling and saying hi and see if she reacts differently before I make another move...

In the mean time...there's always other girls to shift focus on

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Update guys, well, not much of one really...still see her most mornings to work and she still smiles and says hi but I just couldn't bring myself to do a second approach to her. Now am really kicking myself how pathetic I am!!!

Might...try again tomorrow....

Yeah, it's not like she's going to kick your ass or something. If she wasn't interested in some way she'd just give a social "hi" without a smile.

How's this for inspiration: She's probably wondering if there's something you don't like about her but eventually she'll just come to the conclusion you're a wimp. Do you want to keep waiting and then every day there will be a girl walking by that thinks you're a wimp?

Pick one:

1) You get the nads to speak words with her tomorrow
2) You wait until it's too late and feel like a reject/screw up every day she walks by permanently

You'll have to get a new job if you choose #2. Think about that!

Actually, I'm shifting focus man...this is driving me crazy!!! I have a sneaky feeling she might just trying to be polite. I'll stop smiling and saying hi and see if she reacts differently before I make another move...

In the mean time...there's always other girls to shift focus on

If you go with your master plan to experiment with smiling/not smiling she'll end up thinking you're a very disturbed creepy schizophrenic.

And, what other girls, the ones that aren't smiling and saying hi? You really should take the advice given by people here.

 

[BritBoy]

Alright ok I'll do something next time I see her, hopefully tomorrow.

Just don't know where you guys got the strength from!! I have no problem approaching in bars coffee shops libraries on the trains but this one, the approach to her a couple of weeks ago almost killed me!!! And she's not even a 10! (not a showstopper just a girl next door type)

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Alright ok I'll do something next time I see her, hopefully tomorrow.

Just don't know where you guys got the strength from!! I have no problem approaching in bars coffee shops libraries on the trains but this one, the approach to her a couple of weeks ago almost killed me!!! And she's not even a 10! (not a showstopper just a girl next door type)

Most get strength from knowing that either you a) talk to her and get it over with immediately, or b) spend hours, days, weeks, and months daydreaming about how to approach it, not approach it, come up with all sorts of intricate plans that are silly because they're much more difficult than just talking to her...they're just ways of avoiding doing the "sane" and most logical thing.

Those who choose "b" get oneitis and when they finally talk to her she's long gone.

Those who choose "a" develop confidence and start choosing "a" more and more often until they reach the point where they think "b" is downright silly.

You have situational confidence. If you were in a bar where you're comfortable, you wouldn't hesitate. But, you're in an open public place with countless hundreds of random people who (after they see her spit in your face and make fun of you) will point, laugh, take cell phone pictures, and send those pictures to BBC so your humiliation will be broadcast worldwide.

You know what I mean. You're just afraid of looking bad in front of a bunch of random people instead of not caring and going for what you want. Get over it.

 

[BritBoy]

Cheers for your response mysterious

I know I'm in danger of developing oneitis that's why I was going to shift focus but it's immensely difficult for me to do at the moment possibly because of my pride, and probably my pride stops me from approaching her for the second time (along with me being a pu$$y haha!)

I think I've been investing way too much thought and energy on this since I don't even bl00dy know her!!! I recently broke up with a girl and it was quite traumatic it knocked me sixes and sevens and I really need to get back onto my stride and get my game back

Thank you for you guy's opinions and support

 

[ENIGMA16]

Just don't know where you guys got the strength from!! I have no problem approaching in bars coffee shops libraries on the trains but this one, the approach to her a couple of weeks ago almost killed me!!! And she's not even a 10! (not a showstopper just a girl next door type)

That's because in every single one of those situations the woman is sitting around, so while you have to make an active attempt to talk to her you don't have to make an active attempt to get her attention (i.e. all you have to do is sit down and introduce yourself as opposed to getting this girl to stop what she's doing and give you her full attention).

If I was seeing a girl every day in the morning whose number I'd want to get, I'd first ask her for it and if she denies me I'd be joking around with her every time I saw her making her laugh. Then I'd either try again or wait until she asks me (if I'm not that interested).

 

[BritBoy]

Alright guys!! Update!!! So I saw her again this morning and she started to talk to me! She's earlier than usual to my surprise, and it just happened that our paths converged before we went separate way again. She asked if I went to work that early and I said no, I'm heading to the gym. Small talked and asked if she fancied a quick coffee again and she said no she's already late.

Time to move on?

 

[ENIGMA16]

Small talked and asked if she fancied a quick coffee again and she said no she's already late.

Time to move on?

WTF?!?!?!? Why would you ask her to go for a coffee right then when you knew that she was going to work? Did you at least get her number?

 

[BritBoy]

Well no I didn't ask for her number...I thought she might not be interested since she said no to the coffee. Joked around a little and said goodbye and walked off to where I normally head to.

Bad??

 

[CarlitosWay]

Well no I didn't ask for her number...I thought she might not be interested since she said no to the coffee. Joked around a little and said goodbye and walked off to where I normally head to.

Bad??

Change up that mindset! Like my uncle says hope for everything and expect nothing! I don't get it....you either have two choices a) just freakin' do as we say and succeed/fail or b)sit back in regret doing nothing but beating yourself up.