Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2007
- Messages
- 4,407
- Reaction score
- 929
She now works as a sacker at a non-leading grocery store (i.e. probably the worst paid of all of the others here). I caught her looking at me first as I walked in, then she turned away and finished rounding up some baskets outside. Man, I thought, in 3 years she has AGED. She's 4 and 1/2 years younger than me. She used to be so cute, blond, petite, deep blue eyes, no much for t!ts though.
Anyway, I had known from her sister about her divorce (didn't even last a year) from the guy she chose over me. You see, back then, she thought I wasn't ever going to be successful so she chose the semi-successful dude (also more her age) over me. How could she have known? That, me, from then, kind of like a penny stock, would rise so high so fast? She's risen and fallen quick over a short period of time. Now she's worse off than she was 3 years ago. She used to be sooo AW, so full of herself AS IF I was just a loser because she rejected me in the end, and she was on the "winning side" so to speak. Well, the company she and I used to work for (and that I got fired from) went under, and she lost her job as a result, though she still had her new husband to support her, no worries right?
I feel a little sorry for her, but then I don't.
I heard her speaking to a co-worker with my back turned and she didn't know I was there, and then when she realized I was standing behind her she quit talking, as if she didn't want me to know it was her. She was hiding.
I should have called out her name, but I figured, it's not worth it, she's not worth it anymore. I've been with so many other women since her, there's no sense disrupting my life talking to one who still may or may not think I'm worthless (cause she knew me when I was IN HER MIND).
But guys, this one, despite her now rather fvcked up face (from age and hardship/divorce living a wild fast and wicked risky life always chasing the bad guys), hearing her voice again made me remember a powerful love I once had for her. She IS unlike any other woman. I can't place my finger on it. It's just that every time I hear her speak, I feel a spark, a connection to want to BE with her. No other woman makes me feel this way, through voice alone. It just makes me want her, as a friend as much as I would a sexual partner, and even after all these years, I still love her. To describe her voice, it's like a chirpy, spontaneous, honest, young girl, lovey voice.
I guess that the best famous person similar to her would be Reese Witherspoon, but she looks different and they are not totally alike obviously Reese is way more intelligent and uses her gifts a whole lot better than my oneitis from the past did/does. I've wasted all this typing on her, but I still can't shake her, and I still want to be with her, and she still probably hates me, even though I am totally a different person now. She's still the same. She never improved or progressed.
I still have never met a spirit like hers though. She's like one in 500 million women on this Earth, very bizarre. It's a shinning within that I get from NO other woman I come into contact with in my numerous travels over the years.
I may see her again this week, not sure, but I will not say anything to her. She'll have to say something to me, and I KNOW that she can't believe how far I've come, how she missed buying into the stock that is Me. I bet that the wheels are spinning every which way, about how she could say something to make me (someone who Really once loved her) say "ok" to her again. If she DID say something to me tomorrow or the next day trying to open up a relationship again after all the ill-will between us, what could I say? I could Never take her as5 back. She's ruined all that could have been by being so shallow, but How could she have known?? Can I fault her for not believing in me? She said that we couldn't get married because, "How are we going to support kids? (on our salary)." I told her that I've been trying to land another job, and that we'd work it all out, that love's more important, and she DROPPED me not long after I said that, and married the guy with money, a marksman, a badas5.
I could Never take her back though really she's the only one Still that I've ever wanted to Be with for the rest of my life. Guys, you'd say she's ugly (in the face now) no doubt, but this isn't about looks, but about compatibility and her unique spirit, but I know that if we lived together then things would be different for sure, so this makes me think that I should forget her and find a good, stable, much better looking, younger woman for the long haul.
I've never chased one harder than I chased her and that was back when I was semi-AFC in 2005. I had a one-track mind to make her my wife. She KNEW very well how much I loved her. It became very evident in the complete overhaul changed person I became before her very eyes. If it weren't for her, I'd be nowhere near where I am today, a beast of conviction of thought, and strength, and determination. Before her, I had none of that, and she's the only one who witnessed the rapid growth in me (for her). A woman can Not not be affected by such a display of raw love. If she's ignored it, then she's the ultimate fool, and totally deserves to be older and working the job of a high school student with no responsibility.
I'm just amazed that I ran across her today. In a sense, I was happy or uplifted, but also confused, because I'm still hurt by her, even with her being in her lowly position in life. I've missed her, but then again, all the other women in between have made me not miss her, because they're all different from one another too with pluses and minuses. I'm definitely coming at her with a helluva lot more experience than I had back then to judge her by if she ever opens her mouth and speaks to me again. Multiple women help to view previous relationships/women in a different light, and the pain that one caused you is lessened with each successive woman that you pile on to your experiences.
Anyway, I had known from her sister about her divorce (didn't even last a year) from the guy she chose over me. You see, back then, she thought I wasn't ever going to be successful so she chose the semi-successful dude (also more her age) over me. How could she have known? That, me, from then, kind of like a penny stock, would rise so high so fast? She's risen and fallen quick over a short period of time. Now she's worse off than she was 3 years ago. She used to be sooo AW, so full of herself AS IF I was just a loser because she rejected me in the end, and she was on the "winning side" so to speak. Well, the company she and I used to work for (and that I got fired from) went under, and she lost her job as a result, though she still had her new husband to support her, no worries right?
I feel a little sorry for her, but then I don't.
I heard her speaking to a co-worker with my back turned and she didn't know I was there, and then when she realized I was standing behind her she quit talking, as if she didn't want me to know it was her. She was hiding.
I should have called out her name, but I figured, it's not worth it, she's not worth it anymore. I've been with so many other women since her, there's no sense disrupting my life talking to one who still may or may not think I'm worthless (cause she knew me when I was IN HER MIND).
But guys, this one, despite her now rather fvcked up face (from age and hardship/divorce living a wild fast and wicked risky life always chasing the bad guys), hearing her voice again made me remember a powerful love I once had for her. She IS unlike any other woman. I can't place my finger on it. It's just that every time I hear her speak, I feel a spark, a connection to want to BE with her. No other woman makes me feel this way, through voice alone. It just makes me want her, as a friend as much as I would a sexual partner, and even after all these years, I still love her. To describe her voice, it's like a chirpy, spontaneous, honest, young girl, lovey voice.
I guess that the best famous person similar to her would be Reese Witherspoon, but she looks different and they are not totally alike obviously Reese is way more intelligent and uses her gifts a whole lot better than my oneitis from the past did/does. I've wasted all this typing on her, but I still can't shake her, and I still want to be with her, and she still probably hates me, even though I am totally a different person now. She's still the same. She never improved or progressed.
I still have never met a spirit like hers though. She's like one in 500 million women on this Earth, very bizarre. It's a shinning within that I get from NO other woman I come into contact with in my numerous travels over the years.
I may see her again this week, not sure, but I will not say anything to her. She'll have to say something to me, and I KNOW that she can't believe how far I've come, how she missed buying into the stock that is Me. I bet that the wheels are spinning every which way, about how she could say something to make me (someone who Really once loved her) say "ok" to her again. If she DID say something to me tomorrow or the next day trying to open up a relationship again after all the ill-will between us, what could I say? I could Never take her as5 back. She's ruined all that could have been by being so shallow, but How could she have known?? Can I fault her for not believing in me? She said that we couldn't get married because, "How are we going to support kids? (on our salary)." I told her that I've been trying to land another job, and that we'd work it all out, that love's more important, and she DROPPED me not long after I said that, and married the guy with money, a marksman, a badas5.
I could Never take her back though really she's the only one Still that I've ever wanted to Be with for the rest of my life. Guys, you'd say she's ugly (in the face now) no doubt, but this isn't about looks, but about compatibility and her unique spirit, but I know that if we lived together then things would be different for sure, so this makes me think that I should forget her and find a good, stable, much better looking, younger woman for the long haul.
I've never chased one harder than I chased her and that was back when I was semi-AFC in 2005. I had a one-track mind to make her my wife. She KNEW very well how much I loved her. It became very evident in the complete overhaul changed person I became before her very eyes. If it weren't for her, I'd be nowhere near where I am today, a beast of conviction of thought, and strength, and determination. Before her, I had none of that, and she's the only one who witnessed the rapid growth in me (for her). A woman can Not not be affected by such a display of raw love. If she's ignored it, then she's the ultimate fool, and totally deserves to be older and working the job of a high school student with no responsibility.
I'm just amazed that I ran across her today. In a sense, I was happy or uplifted, but also confused, because I'm still hurt by her, even with her being in her lowly position in life. I've missed her, but then again, all the other women in between have made me not miss her, because they're all different from one another too with pluses and minuses. I'm definitely coming at her with a helluva lot more experience than I had back then to judge her by if she ever opens her mouth and speaks to me again. Multiple women help to view previous relationships/women in a different light, and the pain that one caused you is lessened with each successive woman that you pile on to your experiences.
