Master of the Universe
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2002
- Messages
- 396
- Reaction score
- 12
Many years ago, I learned a very important lesson, a lesson that once I had truly understood, completely turned my business around, and when you understand it, will allow you to become the Don Juan that you are capable of becoming.
And that lesson is: Perceived Value and Real Value are two different things.
Let me start from the beginning. Years ago, when I first started my business as a marketing consultant, I figured that the best way to get clients would be to charge a low fee. So I charged $20 an hour for my consulting service. Now, one thing to keep in mind, is that when you are self-employed, not all of your working hours are billable hours. In fact, when you are starting out and don't have any employees, most of your working hours are administration based, and are not billable.
So in truth, at $20 per billable hour, I wasn't even making enough to pay my overhead, but I figured that it would be acceptable in the beginning so that I would at least get some clients. Guess what... I couldn't even get one client!
It took several months to figure out what the problem is, since I was too close to the situation to see the forest for the trees. Of course by now you probably guessed what it was, my price was too cheap! Even though my skills as a marketing consultant was great, nobody believed that I had anything to offer at such a low price. So I doubled my fee to $40 per hour.
I started getting a few clients, but they were the whiners, the type of people that I had to take by the hand every step of the way, and whom would complain at everything. Over time, I doubled my price again. I started getting even more clients, and the quality of the clients improved.
One day, one of my clients took the suggestions of another consultant, a guy that didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I was pissed, since the only thing this guy had over me was that his price was higher. So again, I raised the price.
This process went on over a period of time, until now I charge more per hour than I used to make in a day or two. But do you want to know what the really amazing thing is? I now deal with only the best clients, those people who actually respect my opinion, and whom I enjoy working with. Not only that, but I actually have more clients than I can handle, and have a waiting list.
Now, what does this have to do with seduction? EVERYTHING!
What does the Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) do (including me when I first started pursuing girls)? He figures that he'll be really sweet to girls, put them on a pedestal, and treat them like precious gold. Hell, he'll even treat below average girls that way, since getting any girls is better than no girls. And what happens? He can't get any chicks if his life depended on it.
So he comes across this site, and starts to change. He stops putting girls on a pedestal, and things start moving a little bit more smoothly. Still, he has a lot to learn. But at least now he is able to get some girls, even though for the most part those are not the cream of the crop, girls that he would kill for.
But he stays longer on this web site. He realizes that he is the prize to be won, he learns even more advanced strategies, speed seduction, ****y & funny, group theory, and a whole host of high powered pickup techniques.
He's on top of the world now... at last he can get some worthwhile chicks. Still, even though he can get the 7s and 8s (and when I say a 7 or 8, I don't mean strictly looks, but the whole package), at some level he just can't seem to acquire the 9s and 9.5s.
One day though, he finds a 9.5 that totally rocks his world. He uses all his new found skills, and since he realizes that he is the prize to be won, he is able to attract her to him initially. Everything looks wonderful, until it happens... the chick decides to leave him for a guy that doesn't treat her anywhere as wonderful as he treated her.
The guy is pissed, but since he knows he is the prize, he moves on. Unfortunately, the process repeats a few more times. At this point, he realizes that the common denominator is him. He wonders for a minute if maybe he isn't attractive enough, or maybe he doesn't have the skills to acquire the highest quality chicks.
Then, one day, when he was about to give up hope on getting the 9.5s, he gets an epiphany: he knows he is prize, but do the girls really know it as well?
Of course, girls have come to realize his value. From both his strategies and techniques, and his belief that he is the prize, he is demonstrating to the chicks his value. The only thing though, is that the hottest chicks around have so many guys to choose from, guys with looks, money, and status.
So when our friend goes for the hot chickie-mamas, the chicks have nothing to go by other than comparing value for value. At this level, our friend can only show so much value, since his Real Value (including pickup skills and the belief that he is the prize) is going head-to-head with the Real Value of other guys also competing for the girl (which may include money, status, looks, pickup skills, and a similar belief that they are the prize).
As it stands, the chick will usually pick the guy that overall has the highest Real Value.
But this is where the fallacy lies. To get back to my real life business example, when I charged $20 per hour, and when I charged a hell of a lot more than that, my Real Value was pretty much the same. But when I racked up my fees, this translated into a much higher Perceived Value, which is really the only value that counts.
So let's look again at our imaginary friend, and let's pretend that he is you. At this point in your DJ career you may find it much easier to approach girls, you've acquired the proper mentality as well as the skills required to acquire chicks. Still, you have a hard time getting those really HOT girls.
What do you do?
Simple... you Raise Your Perceived Value! And how do you do this? You raise your Perceived Value by Raising Your Price!
Okay, this may be kind of vague, so let me get a little bit more in depth here...
What do hot chicks do to most guys? They make the guys jump through hoops in order to demonstrate that they are worthy of the chick. What you want to do instead is make the chick jump through hoops to prove her value to you. And believe it or not, this is most effective with the ultra hot chicks, simply because no one has given them the opportunity to demonstrate their value before, and they will relish the opportunity to do so.
How do you accomplish this? By having her do things for you.
I have a very good friend, he is the best DJ I have ever seen, plus also the best businessman I have ever met. When I first came to this web site, I was very boggled. You see, he constantly flatters women, always pays for dates, and he does other things that would, by the definition used on this board, make him an AFC.
However, he would always be dating the hottest girls around, and they were the ones always falling in love with him. I mean, this guy is GOOD! I mean so good as to sleep with two sisters at the same time, a mother and a daughter at the same time, and other situations that if I didn't know him so well I would say he was lying.
But in the last few months, I realized something about him. He never did anything specifically to try to demonstrate value to the chicks. Instead, he would have them demonstrate value to him. For example, if a girl was meeting him at his office before they went to dinner, he would have her sit down on the computer and he would dictate a letter to her. Or sometimes when he picks up the girl for a date, he'll take her to a car wash before dinner, and after the machine-wash, he would hand her a towel and have her help him dry the car.
At first I thought the chick would be pissed. I mean, here is this gorgeous girl, dressed to kill, drying a car. But instead, she was happy to help. He never apologized for having the girls do things for him, but he would shower them with compliments.
I remember one time he told me, "MotU, people want to help, they feel good about helping. You have to give them the opportunity." At the time, the context of our conversation was about little children, but now I see that he meant people in general.
So, the "secret" to taking your game to the next level, and to get the most desirable girls around, is to start allowing them to demonstrate their value to you, and to reward them (whether it be with compliments, time spent with you, etc.) for proving their worth.
Have the girl drive to pick you up (especially if you live a bit far away), give the girl the opportunity to cook dinner for you, have her proofread a report you wrote... just structure some opportunity where she can prove her value to you. And then reward her. Compliments are wonderful here. You see, women LOVE compliments BUT ONLY if they feel they have earned them. So give the girls a chance to earn your compliments.
For example, if I am in a social situation or a club, I will ask a girl to hold my drink while I do something, and then thank her by spending time with her. Or if I have a camera, I'll pull out my camera, give it to her, and have her take a picture of me and my friends. I'll then thank her by having her take a picture with me (this is especially killer as an opener in a club situation. Throws a lot of girls off guard and disarms them).
Most girls want to feel that they earned you, that they had to work hard to get you. I remember reading a quote once, "The fact that the price is being paid is proof that it is worth paying."
Put a high price on yourself, place a high Perceived Value on your person, and watch the girls fight each other to prove their value to, and try to earn, you.
Master of the Universe
------------------
[After an accident at sea, Don Juan finds himself washed up on a beach, where he is discovered by a young woman.]
Tisbea: Wake up, handsomest of all men, and be yourself again.
Don Juan: If the sea gives me death, you give me life. But the sea really saved me only to be killed by you. Oh the sea tosses me from one torment to the other, for I no sooner pulled myself from the water than I met this siren - yourself. Why fill my ears with wax, since you kill me with your eyes? I was dying in the sea, but from today I shall die of love.
Tisbea: You have abundant breath for a man almost drowned. You suffered much, but who knows what suffering you are preparing for me?... I found you at my feet all water, and now you are all fire. If you burn when you are so wet, what will you do when you're dry again? You promise a scorching flame; I hope to God you're not lying.
Don Juan: Dear girl, God should have drowned me before I could be charred by you. Perhaps love was wise to drench me before I felt your scalding touch. But your fire is such that even in water I burn.
Tisbea: So cold and yet burning?
Don Juan: So much fire is in you.
Tisbea: How well you talk!
Don Juan: How well you understand!
Tisbea: I hope to God you're not lying.
- Tirso De Molina, The Playboy of Seville
And that lesson is: Perceived Value and Real Value are two different things.
Let me start from the beginning. Years ago, when I first started my business as a marketing consultant, I figured that the best way to get clients would be to charge a low fee. So I charged $20 an hour for my consulting service. Now, one thing to keep in mind, is that when you are self-employed, not all of your working hours are billable hours. In fact, when you are starting out and don't have any employees, most of your working hours are administration based, and are not billable.
So in truth, at $20 per billable hour, I wasn't even making enough to pay my overhead, but I figured that it would be acceptable in the beginning so that I would at least get some clients. Guess what... I couldn't even get one client!
It took several months to figure out what the problem is, since I was too close to the situation to see the forest for the trees. Of course by now you probably guessed what it was, my price was too cheap! Even though my skills as a marketing consultant was great, nobody believed that I had anything to offer at such a low price. So I doubled my fee to $40 per hour.
I started getting a few clients, but they were the whiners, the type of people that I had to take by the hand every step of the way, and whom would complain at everything. Over time, I doubled my price again. I started getting even more clients, and the quality of the clients improved.
One day, one of my clients took the suggestions of another consultant, a guy that didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I was pissed, since the only thing this guy had over me was that his price was higher. So again, I raised the price.
This process went on over a period of time, until now I charge more per hour than I used to make in a day or two. But do you want to know what the really amazing thing is? I now deal with only the best clients, those people who actually respect my opinion, and whom I enjoy working with. Not only that, but I actually have more clients than I can handle, and have a waiting list.
Now, what does this have to do with seduction? EVERYTHING!
What does the Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) do (including me when I first started pursuing girls)? He figures that he'll be really sweet to girls, put them on a pedestal, and treat them like precious gold. Hell, he'll even treat below average girls that way, since getting any girls is better than no girls. And what happens? He can't get any chicks if his life depended on it.
So he comes across this site, and starts to change. He stops putting girls on a pedestal, and things start moving a little bit more smoothly. Still, he has a lot to learn. But at least now he is able to get some girls, even though for the most part those are not the cream of the crop, girls that he would kill for.
But he stays longer on this web site. He realizes that he is the prize to be won, he learns even more advanced strategies, speed seduction, ****y & funny, group theory, and a whole host of high powered pickup techniques.
He's on top of the world now... at last he can get some worthwhile chicks. Still, even though he can get the 7s and 8s (and when I say a 7 or 8, I don't mean strictly looks, but the whole package), at some level he just can't seem to acquire the 9s and 9.5s.
One day though, he finds a 9.5 that totally rocks his world. He uses all his new found skills, and since he realizes that he is the prize to be won, he is able to attract her to him initially. Everything looks wonderful, until it happens... the chick decides to leave him for a guy that doesn't treat her anywhere as wonderful as he treated her.
The guy is pissed, but since he knows he is the prize, he moves on. Unfortunately, the process repeats a few more times. At this point, he realizes that the common denominator is him. He wonders for a minute if maybe he isn't attractive enough, or maybe he doesn't have the skills to acquire the highest quality chicks.
Then, one day, when he was about to give up hope on getting the 9.5s, he gets an epiphany: he knows he is prize, but do the girls really know it as well?
Of course, girls have come to realize his value. From both his strategies and techniques, and his belief that he is the prize, he is demonstrating to the chicks his value. The only thing though, is that the hottest chicks around have so many guys to choose from, guys with looks, money, and status.
So when our friend goes for the hot chickie-mamas, the chicks have nothing to go by other than comparing value for value. At this level, our friend can only show so much value, since his Real Value (including pickup skills and the belief that he is the prize) is going head-to-head with the Real Value of other guys also competing for the girl (which may include money, status, looks, pickup skills, and a similar belief that they are the prize).
As it stands, the chick will usually pick the guy that overall has the highest Real Value.
But this is where the fallacy lies. To get back to my real life business example, when I charged $20 per hour, and when I charged a hell of a lot more than that, my Real Value was pretty much the same. But when I racked up my fees, this translated into a much higher Perceived Value, which is really the only value that counts.
So let's look again at our imaginary friend, and let's pretend that he is you. At this point in your DJ career you may find it much easier to approach girls, you've acquired the proper mentality as well as the skills required to acquire chicks. Still, you have a hard time getting those really HOT girls.
What do you do?
Simple... you Raise Your Perceived Value! And how do you do this? You raise your Perceived Value by Raising Your Price!
Okay, this may be kind of vague, so let me get a little bit more in depth here...
What do hot chicks do to most guys? They make the guys jump through hoops in order to demonstrate that they are worthy of the chick. What you want to do instead is make the chick jump through hoops to prove her value to you. And believe it or not, this is most effective with the ultra hot chicks, simply because no one has given them the opportunity to demonstrate their value before, and they will relish the opportunity to do so.
How do you accomplish this? By having her do things for you.
I have a very good friend, he is the best DJ I have ever seen, plus also the best businessman I have ever met. When I first came to this web site, I was very boggled. You see, he constantly flatters women, always pays for dates, and he does other things that would, by the definition used on this board, make him an AFC.
However, he would always be dating the hottest girls around, and they were the ones always falling in love with him. I mean, this guy is GOOD! I mean so good as to sleep with two sisters at the same time, a mother and a daughter at the same time, and other situations that if I didn't know him so well I would say he was lying.
But in the last few months, I realized something about him. He never did anything specifically to try to demonstrate value to the chicks. Instead, he would have them demonstrate value to him. For example, if a girl was meeting him at his office before they went to dinner, he would have her sit down on the computer and he would dictate a letter to her. Or sometimes when he picks up the girl for a date, he'll take her to a car wash before dinner, and after the machine-wash, he would hand her a towel and have her help him dry the car.
At first I thought the chick would be pissed. I mean, here is this gorgeous girl, dressed to kill, drying a car. But instead, she was happy to help. He never apologized for having the girls do things for him, but he would shower them with compliments.
I remember one time he told me, "MotU, people want to help, they feel good about helping. You have to give them the opportunity." At the time, the context of our conversation was about little children, but now I see that he meant people in general.
So, the "secret" to taking your game to the next level, and to get the most desirable girls around, is to start allowing them to demonstrate their value to you, and to reward them (whether it be with compliments, time spent with you, etc.) for proving their worth.
Have the girl drive to pick you up (especially if you live a bit far away), give the girl the opportunity to cook dinner for you, have her proofread a report you wrote... just structure some opportunity where she can prove her value to you. And then reward her. Compliments are wonderful here. You see, women LOVE compliments BUT ONLY if they feel they have earned them. So give the girls a chance to earn your compliments.
For example, if I am in a social situation or a club, I will ask a girl to hold my drink while I do something, and then thank her by spending time with her. Or if I have a camera, I'll pull out my camera, give it to her, and have her take a picture of me and my friends. I'll then thank her by having her take a picture with me (this is especially killer as an opener in a club situation. Throws a lot of girls off guard and disarms them).
Most girls want to feel that they earned you, that they had to work hard to get you. I remember reading a quote once, "The fact that the price is being paid is proof that it is worth paying."
Put a high price on yourself, place a high Perceived Value on your person, and watch the girls fight each other to prove their value to, and try to earn, you.
Master of the Universe
------------------
[After an accident at sea, Don Juan finds himself washed up on a beach, where he is discovered by a young woman.]
Tisbea: Wake up, handsomest of all men, and be yourself again.
Don Juan: If the sea gives me death, you give me life. But the sea really saved me only to be killed by you. Oh the sea tosses me from one torment to the other, for I no sooner pulled myself from the water than I met this siren - yourself. Why fill my ears with wax, since you kill me with your eyes? I was dying in the sea, but from today I shall die of love.
Tisbea: You have abundant breath for a man almost drowned. You suffered much, but who knows what suffering you are preparing for me?... I found you at my feet all water, and now you are all fire. If you burn when you are so wet, what will you do when you're dry again? You promise a scorching flame; I hope to God you're not lying.
Don Juan: Dear girl, God should have drowned me before I could be charred by you. Perhaps love was wise to drench me before I felt your scalding touch. But your fire is such that even in water I burn.
Tisbea: So cold and yet burning?
Don Juan: So much fire is in you.
Tisbea: How well you talk!
Don Juan: How well you understand!
Tisbea: I hope to God you're not lying.
- Tirso De Molina, The Playboy of Seville
