I have achieved a lot to be proud of.
I have a ton of regret. I made so many mistakes when younger and I wasn’t mentally well. I abused drugs for years which was the root of most of the problems.
only later in life I’ve realised I had a really, really messed up childhood. I didn’t even recognise it, but later in life it’s clear. I suffered sexual and psychological abuse, I was repeatedly victimised, taken advantage of, I had no self esteem. I was broken most of my life. Through endless effort, I am now in a good place. I have a high income and a respected management job.
I do feel annoyed as I wish it was different. I observe people who didn’t have this experience, and I resent them. It has left me with some brick hard skills though.
when I came here in my early to mid 30s I was at the apex of broken. I lost all my friends, I was humiliated. There’s a quote somewhere about when you’ve lost everything it’s only then you’re truly free.
The only thing which burns is the desire for revenge. I never got my revenge on a few people. And I can’t put that down.
They say revenge is living well but I wish I could make some of those who made me suffer, suffer like I did. Some I know were also broken themselves.
I gotta work on that.
Bit of a gush but it’s how I would sum up my life.
