Questions for Sir Chancelot and all

[DJSmooth]

I struggled through Libra Girl's reply to Sir C, and gave up when she blamed MEN for being manipulative. Next she'll blame MEN for being hypocritical too.

 

[PortugueseMeatball]

Originally posted by Libra Gal:
It is this childhood training that most women have had--to be nice, polite, pleasant, and non-confrontational--that leads men to believe that they've 'fooled' us because they're used to more aggressive, in-your-face confrontation from men. Believe me, you haven't fooled us. We know what's going on.

Romance novels are fiction, an escape. Women enjoy them in the same way that many men enjoy reading science fiction, as entertainment. To believe that you can fool women by patterning yourself as a romance novel 'hero' is not giving women credit for being able to distinguish genuine romantic interest from a man versus a guy who is just tryi8ng to get laid. Again, we are not fooled.

To quote the famed italian physicist:

E pur, si muove.

And still, [the Earth] moves.

Meaning: bla bla bla. But it works and it gets us da pu$$y, why worry?

 

[The Edge]

Originally posted by studmuffin15:
hey edge:

so, disregarding ur useless criticism, i will once again repeat,

Do what you must... STUD...MUFFIN.....15...

You still sound 'DUMB AS F*UCK!!!'

The Edge: 'Some have it and some don't'

 

[RKTek]

In the 'dating' world there are things you definitely do NOT do to get a girl, obvious things like not bathe, have bad teeth, hit on her little sister (or brother) and the like. Definite turnoffs to 99% of the women out there.

There are also things you should definitely DO to get a girl: Regular body hygiene and maintenance, charming personality, no red flags, etc.

So there are two distinct areas of ALWAYS DO THIS, and NEVER DO THIS. The easy stuff to identify either way.

But then there is that larger gray area of 'sometimes you can do this', that is the main focus of this board. The men that come here do so to better define the subtle 'line' between ALWAYS DO THIS and NEVER DO THAT.

This debate has many names such as "Speed Seduction" or NLP or "The System" etc., but they all work to the same end, and that is to help the occasionally socially awkward but otherwise intelligent and decent guy to figure out the extreme complexities of the 'dating' game.

Not only is the dating game complex in itself, but it is fluid. The 'rules' and 'norms' are constantly shifting. What's hot today is passe' tomorrow and we've all found that the worst thing to do is actually ask a woman what she wants or finds attractive in a man. Why? Because just like I might think Laetitia Casta is the 'ne plus ultra' of womanhood and my best friend thinks she's a skank, so too do women have very personal ideas of attractiveness.

For some reason pop culture is the worst for men. Example, Billy Joel's "Tell Her About It":

"Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Listen boy
It's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself
You've got to provide communication constantly

When you love someone
You're always insecure
And there's only one good way
To reassure

Tell her about it
Let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you
Tell her you wish you were there

Tell her about it
Every day before you leave
Pay her some attention
Give her something to believe

Cause now and then
She'll get to worrying
Just because you haven't spoken
For so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Listen boy
It's good information from a man
Who's made mistakes

Just a word or two that she gets from you
Could be the difference that it makes

She's a trusting soul
She's put her trust in you
But a girl like that won't tell you
What you should do

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason
To accept that you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't go wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want
To wait--you got to
Tell her about it"

Interesting that he wrote this while still married to Christie Brinkley...who then divorced him so that now Christie is sleeping with another man. And she has custody of his children. Nice.

It all sounds so candy-cane nice to have guys oozing love ballads to their equally smitten girls, but in real life it does NOT happen that way. Today, in spite of your incorrect diatribe, women will recognize that your schmaltzy approach hands power of the relationship over to her and to call women the 'weaker' sex only applies to their upper body strength. Women can be much more sinister and ruthless than men...and dangerous.

Basically, your letter is childish and poorly thought out. It sounds as though you are the one who was hurt and now you're on a male-dominated forum dispensing incorrect and damaging information/criticism.

Go away.

 

[Libra Gal]

Thank you to everyone who posted and especially to those who had the maturity to listen to what I was saying. I wrote a few comments in regard to several posts but I couldn't get back on the board. Now the moment has passed....but I appreciate your responses nonetheless.

RK Tek,

Don't worry. I plan to "go away". And I'll take your parting shot with me as a reminder of how warm and welcoming your board is.

To everyone else--have a Merry Christmas!

 

[Dell SkyCat]

BUMP BUMP BUMP

I LOVE THIS POST. Just reading Sir Chance's Responses makes me realize the beauty SS can be. Even when he's arguing outside of a seduction context it still works wonders =). ( well not neccesarily SS as my doubts on it's effectiveness has and IS greatly decreasing... I still find Sir Chance's responses to be worth a second read) Sir Chance should post more often.

 

[drixsa]

MODS PLEASE MOVE THIS TO THE ARCHIVE

 

[B9]

Oh god...

Originally posted by RKTek
For some reason pop culture is the worst for men. Example, Billy Joel's "Tell Her About It":

"Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Listen boy
It's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself
You've got to provide communication constantly

When you love someone
You're always insecure
And there's only one good way
To reassure

Tell her about it
Let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you
Tell her you wish you were there

Tell her about it
Every day before you leave
Pay her some attention
Give her something to believe

Cause now and then
She'll get to worrying
Just because you haven't spoken
For so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Listen boy
It's good information from a man
Who's made mistakes

Just a word or two that she gets from you
Could be the difference that it makes

She's a trusting soul
She's put her trust in you
But a girl like that won't tell you
What you should do

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason
To accept that you're for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't go wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want
To wait--you got to
Tell her about it"

I used to love those lyrics.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

I disagree Libra Gal.... Faking GENUINE interest is NOT hard at all. I've faked emotions all my life. I'm a born gemini and when it comes to people and social settings I'm like a chameleon. I can adapt to any setting or person instantly and move onto their wavelength. I'm not proud of it, oh **** it I'm not NOT proud of it but many have thought I've had real feelings for them etc when I have not. Why? Because when talking to them I set my mind in the mode that I actually had those feelings. I can control my emotions/reactions like that. If I want to feel happy, sad, in love, horny whatever I can switch them on and off as I wish. So I completely disagree with your assesment that genuine interest cannot be faked. The only problem with this is that my personaly is so ambivalent and dual I sometimes lose control over it which in the beginning of relationships often make me very little trusting which most often ends in catastrophy


I do though agree on other aspects. I'm completely against systems and patterns.... I don't see any use of it at all... Generally the only thing I see as usable is "Browse, see attractive item, go to item, pickup item". The picking up varies but mostly it's just chatting some, doing something like dancing, then there is sex, then you decide if you want to see her more or not.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Originally posted by Libra Gal
It seems that I'm writing a book after all

Yes, let's do that. I once had the privilege of being the girlfriend of a man who was extraordinarily successful with women. He just had that certain something about him that attracts women to him. Now, you wouldn't be able to ask him how he does it because there is nothing he "does". He's just himself (Oh my God! The horror!)

The bag of tricks guys advocate using on this forum--ss, patterns, kino, neg hits--are foreign concepts to him. As strange as it may seem to you, it never occurred to him to think of women as shifty, evil, sinister creatures that need to be taken down a notch and outsmarted at every opportunity.

If there is a "secret" to his appeal then I guess it's this: He just likes women.

LOL! She got played...and she didn't even realise it!

If this boyfriend's behaviour was broken down and analysed, I think it is highly likely it would be classic DJ behaviour, even if it was subconscious.

Look at it this way. An opera singer will make his voice sound beautiful by employing all sorts of things like breath control, projection, timing, movement of the diaphragm, etc. Libra girl sounds as if she would say 'NOO! He's just an amazing singer by being himself! He doesn't need techniques!'

Oh yes he does.

Every skill, including charm and seduction, requires 'technique'. It's just that some people have it naturally, and some have to LEARN it. That's what being a DJ is all about. Some women hate this concept because they feel it takes away the 'mystery' of romance.

Someone being 'just himself' does NOT ATTRACT WOMEN! He attracts women because the 'self' he projects is attractive!

 

[DankNuggs]

There is alot to be said about this...First off her main argument was basically calling us losers for being here. Good. The we get the declarations of how smart woman are and how stupid men are for thinking we could adapt the game to put power in our own hands...Well Boys...we have...

We tend to speak in generalities, we haven't given ourselves absolute or finite ability. Simply the ability to improve ourselves...

I took a public speaking course in college. The purpose was to improve the way you communicate to a large group of people....Probably more scary for most than approaching that hot chick standing across the room. What was our strategy for improvement? Constant practice giving speeches, videotaping and dissecting our little quirks,and trying all over again. This really is no different than what we're doing here.

Everyone could benefit from that type of tutorial just like any guy could be improved looking at this site.

I was laughing the entire way through her post, even though she did highlight some of the variables in the love game that we simply don't control. True, but isn't all of business/love/life the ability to control as many variables as possible, lowering your risk while increasing your reward?

Most of us guys here figure we're pretty good $hits, however its difficult to cut through the BS with woman because of the dog and pony show you have to run before anyone takes their guard down.

Girls can laugh and raise their chins but, ultimately, they're pawns. Regardless of the Doc love "guys pick, girls choose", girls are passive, they react to whomever has the balls to go over and talk to them...We as men have the choice...Girls base their ENTIRE self worth on their ability to attract men.(We learn to base self worth on ourselves) You have no idea the lengths of self doubt and fear that reside in a woman...To raise their chins and call people losers, to classlessly diss a guy trying to talk to her in a bar, they inflate their self esteem like the fat kid in elementary school who would tease and bully people.

To defeat the woman is to defeat the schoolyard bully...To completely ignore the comments, the deniles, the game they throw to put you down, and recognize that anyone not worth your time doesn't exist.

"We here deny social convention, but at the same time, the denile of social convention is common in the birth of all great creations..." --Danknuggs

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Sorry Austin Allegro but that is also abit wrong =) An inate ability does NOT use techniques.... If you are born a great charmer and you charm people left and right NATURALLY there is NO TECHNIQUES INVOLVED it's an inate unlearned reaction to social settings.

 

[DankNuggs]

"Innate" ability as you call it Kinetic, is no more than learning a technique through positive reinforcement. Goodlooking guy in school talks to girls, they give postive reinforcement, he learns to speak more, get more bold, more positive reinforcement....etc...It happens naturally, but its still technique. Lets not get into a nature versus nuture argument though, theres enough useless philosophizing on this site...

 

[Chrispy]

Originally posted by Libra Gal
Thank you to everyone who posted and especially to those who had the maturity to listen to what I was saying. I wrote a few comments in regard to several posts but I couldn't get back on the board. Now the moment has passed....but I appreciate your responses nonetheless.

RK Tek,

Don't worry. I plan to "go away". And I'll take your parting shot with me as a reminder of how warm and welcoming your board is.

To everyone else--have a Merry Christmas!

Before you leave, what was your primary motivation for posting as "devil's advocate?" Surely there was something you wanted to get from us?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Libra Gal
I've lurked here for a bit but have been discouraged from posting because of the "girls not allowed" atmosphere however I'll post this anyway against my better judgement.

Even though she did elude to a couple of things to consider, I have a undeniable suspicion that this post was written in reaction to something that was taken personally and not to help give insite to the female psyche.