Question on being Extroverted

illmatic1005

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how can u become extroverted without becoming annoying?

i am very extroverted and 50% of people like me and all but the other 50% say i am annoying or wierd or whatever

i dont kno what it is but everytime i am having a good time and making others laugh and have fun someone has to say something and then i just stop and am quiet and whatever...
they either say 'ur not funny', or 'ur so wierd' or 'what are u triyng to be funny'
its not the too much ****y without being funny thing either(trust me) and its not that im not funny or anything either(trust me on this too) i dont kno if its jealous or i am doing something annoying i dont kno

even the other day one of my professors said i was very annoying and getting on his lat nerve because i asked him 2 regular non-sarcastic questions or anything. i was like whoa



makes me feel like garbage....
 

sexualchocolate

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there are alot of haters out there, man. as long as ur not acting corny afcish, then just be yourself. dont lose ur identity because of some pricks.
 

SuPaF1y

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"Arrogant S.O.B.s run the world. A person can never have too much self-assurance. The best in every field are likely to strike most people as irrationally arrogant, ****y and confident, but that's how they got to the top."

"Keep away from people who try to de-rail you and your ambitions. The weak always do that, but the truly great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by sexualchocolate
there are alot of haters out there, man. as long as ur not acting corny afcish, then just be yourself. dont lose ur identity because of some pricks.
It's easy to say don't lose your identity. But what do you say to someone who has never figured out what their identity is?
 

ethnomethodologist

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Originally posted by Nocturnal
It's easy to say don't lose your identity. But what do you say to someone who has never figured out what their identity is?
"everytime i am having a good time and making others laugh and have fun someone has to say something and then i just stop and am quiet "

That is his current identity, no doubt about it. Nocturnal, what should his identity really be?
 

Adone

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Originally posted by Nocturnal
It's easy to say don't lose your identity. But what do you say to someone who has never figured out what their identity is?

These 3 simple words: "Shut up, loser".

If that's not enough, go read my post on the Tips' section, which covers this topic.
 

Deep Dish

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illmatic1005
How can you become extroverted without becoming annoying?
You cannot “become” extraverted. You are either born introverted or born extraverted and that is set in stone for the rest of your life. Do you even know what the word means? See, 99% of people who use the word have the wrong idea what is its definition. It is one of the three terms from psychology which I find ordinary people flagrantly abuse by misusage, so much so that I often wish that ordinary people stop using terms from psychology altogether. (The three terms are: introvert/extravert, psychotic, and antisocial.)

To be an introvert means that being alone gives you energy and being around people drains energy from you. Likewise, and obviously, being an extravert means that being around people energizes you and being alone drains you of energy. That is all those terms mean. Being an introvert does not equate with being quiet, though introverts may tend to be quiet, and being an extravert does not equate with being loud, though extraverts may tend towards the glib.
 

al77

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Re: Re: Question on being Extroverted

Originally posted by Deep Dish
You cannot “become” extraverted. You are either born introverted or born extraverted and that is set in stone for the rest of your life. Do you even know what the word means? See, 99% of people who use the word have the wrong idea what is its definition. It is one of the three terms from psychology which I find ordinary people flagrantly abuse by misusage, so much so that I often wish that ordinary people stop using terms from psychology altogether. (The three terms are: introvert/extravert, psychotic, and antisocial.)
You are right about terms. I woudl give up a lot just to be more extroverted... this is such a huge advatange in out society.
 

ethnomethodologist

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I disagree on the being born introverted, or extroverted, or antisocial(well this I agree you CAN be born that way, but that is NOT normal, you can be raised, or stunted into anti-social behanvior, and than stunted back out of it, I have caused this, so I know it is possible). Is there any proof to it, or is it only a theory? I can make a pretty strong argument against it, if you are willing to spend the time on the subject, I don't have any of the psychological terminology, but I do have a lot more experience than many scientists concerning lifechanging incidents and psychobiblical occurences.

I know a thing or two about being annoying though, illmatic, If you want people to stop being annoyed, stop annoying them. You have got to stop concentrating on entertaining yourself, start purposely being nice, stop just doing your own thing, and than reacting.

I'm betting you right now, they call you annoying, because you are always doing the same damned thing. They all get angry A because you are too loud B because you are talking about something they think is stupid C you are giving more attention to others than to them. There is always the other side of the page though, the one they are looking at A they get angry for you breaking their inner peace with all your background noise B they get angry for you saying something insulting to their way of thinking C they get angry because they are being ignored, because you are talking too much. You can get angry at them for this, A you are at peace while talking, why should they be angry for that B you did not believe it was insulting to you, they should learn to accept this C you were not trying to make them get ignored, they can move away if you are too loud.

I think I am right when I say this, just keep doing your own thing, if they interfere with what your doing, ask them why it bothers them, than tell them they are wrong, you aren't doing that, you are just being happy, they say well shut up about it. Tell them to stop listening, or turn gay, and make them want to walk away.
 

A-Unit

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Re:

You are what you are. This coming from 'something' of an extrovert. I don't LIKE definitions. I hate defining people. To me, those who are bashful about socializing are just exhibiting poorly learned behavior. I do think some people will dominant conversations for whatever pyschological reasons you can provide, but I don't think it's 'natural' to be completely anti-social. To me, that's just detrimental to life and a poorly learned habit.

I'm naturally loud, and what I mean is, my voice, my clapping, I don't have a frame of reference like other's. My whispering is like someone else's talking. My talking is like someone's shouting. It's not intentional, but I've had many cases of saying something nasty or private and it being overheard, so I've gotten good at handling weird confrontations.

It's the fact of DEFINING you, and then being like "I'm an Extrovert, THAT's ME, so Fvck you." Just because you're an extrovert, supposedly doesn't mean you be rude and override someone's conversations, talk above them, or interrupt classes. It's manners versus personality.

I did that alot, talked out of turn, spoke up, and made people laugh in class. The ONLY time I got busted was in H.S. when I referenced Bill Clinton's BJ and the teacher, who was a friend, sort of, thought it too inappropriate of me and sent me to the principal. I didn't even plead with him, I figured it was justified. Course I have a short memory on such things, so all went back to normal.

It's NATURAL to talk to people, and by talking to people, you find out who you want to talk with and who you don't. If you're people are warm and receptive, keep going. If not, move back and find someone else. Normally the extrovert can lend a little to a person's who's rather shy.

To me, it's a gradation. I have friends who can talk to some girls, but get shaky talking to 8's or 9's, or say dumb things. In the right situation, MOST people are outgoing, and other's are shy.

The Psychology surrounding this is PRECISELY what limits people from even trying. They act as if the geek with glasses can't become a social steward and talk it up, yet give him some booze and he's everywhere. You'd have to look right at genetics at birth and label it right then and there, otherwise all the other stuff is learned behavior, poor beliefs, and a low self-image that lends people to not opening up, not personality.

---------------------------

Thing is, anytime you INITIATE stuff in life, you'll get criticized. Most of my bro's friends, on first impression hate me or love me. I don't say this to build me up or pat myself on the back, just as fact. His crew is somewhat introverted as band people, yet they label me. I had some girls label me a prep, a thug, or a punk, mostly because at first blush I blast through first impressions, especially if they're my bro's friends, they're mine.

You have to NOT worry about it. That's it. I hate the social stigmas' of staying in line, of observing such things, of being proper. What is proper? What isn't? Respect is 1 thing. I wouldn't disrespect some1, nor judge them harshly, but most people do, which is what I find funny. Those who get annoyed, more or less have problems of their own with themselves, not with you. They don't want their world rocked, they don't want things shook up. Ignore them. Walk away from the 95%.

But being an extrovert, you'd know, extroverts by nature don't care what people think, that's why they're able to speak out, honestly, and normally comically or boldly on whatever they want without worrying about the repercusions.



A-Unit
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
"everytime i am having a good time and making others laugh and have fun someone has to say something and then i just stop and am quiet "

That is his current identity, no doubt about it. Nocturnal, what should his identity really be?
"To the extent to which a man is mentally active, i.e., motivated by the desire to know, to understand, his mind works as the programmer of his emotional computer -- and his sense of life develops into a bright counterpart of a rational philosophy. To the extent to which a man evades, the programming of his emotional computer is done by chance influences; by random impressions, associations, imitations, by undigested snatches of environmental bromides, by cultural osmosis. If evasion or lethargy is a man's predominant method of mental functioning, the result is a sense of life dominated by fear -- a soul like a shapeless piece of clay stamped by footprints going in all directions. (In later years, such a man cries that he has lost his sense of identity; the fact is that he never aquired it)"
-Ayn Rand, The Romantic Manifesto, pg 26

Do you know why people are so confused about who they are? Usuallly it's because they have never decided. Does it really make sense to live by a philosophy that has just sort of accumulated itself over the years, a jumble of all kinds of conflicting social conditioning and irrationalities? Everyone can tell you the basic principles that they live by, but how many of them can tell you why they believe in them, without saying "because I was raised that way," or "because that's how it is in society"?

illmatic1005 is a classic example of someone without a rational philosophy to live by. His question was, "how can u become extroverted without becoming annoying?" How much of who-you-are does that put in the hands of other people? Too much. The first question, illmatic1005, is why do you want to become extroverted? The second question is, why do you think that you are annoying and how important is it that you change in order to be less annoying to other people? When you can answer and understand those questions, you can better explain yourself and expect to find a reasonable answer.

People are often too quick to give sympathy and pity when they could be constructively evaluating the situation.
 

ethnomethodologist

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Want me to tell you I am wrong? You responded to my post, so of course you do, no lie about it.

He has an identity, his current identity, that is the truth, he doesn't know what it is, and he doesn't know where to find a better one. That is also the truth, I speak the truth, call me on my game, and I'll know I'm wrong somewhere. Prove it to me, and I will believe you.

You sound like you are reading straight from this book, as though you don't believe what is written. You understand it, I can see that, but you aren't living it. "motivated by the desire to know" You wouldn't speak, nor seek, if that wasn't true. Not saying that is you, you've got a pretty strong barrier, you know MORE about yourself than most people do, I have seen that already.

Sometimes, you've got to know, what works and what doesn't, with some people. If you don't be honest.

I lived my life as a lie before, I knew it was a lie to, because I was still searching. Now I am asking, I am rude, yes I am, only to incite a reaction. If you don;t respond the way I want you to, I go to the next person, who can respond in kind, with emotions. If I could explain this to you better I would, if you could explain it to yourself better, and admit you were just a little bit wrong, I would be happy. If you could respond in kind, and tell me WHY you are right, and make me realize it, I would be proud.

I don't lie, sorry, I only lie when it's by accident.
 
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