question on a first date/meetup with a girl

[WestMAN]

i've had experiences where a girl will clearly be attracted to me, however, it ends up going stale because i don't know how/when to touch them to kino-escalate. and then the attraction withers away. i also have mini panic attacks when i run out of things to say and there's an awkward silence. what can i do for both of these situations?

thanks in advance

 

[Crissco]

Touch them when u first start talking to them. A kiss on the cheek, a hug, handshake with shoulder rub.

Kino throughout the date, high fives, teasing her while rubbing her shoulder/arm.

 

[8ball]

You're over thinking it. Relax. "Kino escalating"? Jeez... Be yourself...Make stupid wisecracks all night. Be funny. Don't worry about touching her. Just act like you own the place. At the end of the date, walk her to car/porch, look her in the eye, grab her tight around the waist, look her in the eye, say you had a nice time, and kiss her softly.

Just my humble opinion, but I've met with multiple successes with this approach.

 

[WestMAN]

You're over thinking it. Relax. "Kino escalating"? Jeez... Be yourself...Make stupid wisecracks all night. Be funny. Don't worry about touching her. Just act like you own the place. At the end of the date, walk her to car/porch, look her in the eye, grab her tight around the waist, look her in the eye, say you had a nice time, and kiss her softly.

Just my humble opinion, but I've met with multiple successes with this approach.

sometimes i can come up with something funny/witty, and other times i cant think of anything for the life of me.

 

[8ball]

Yeah, I get some dead spots...in dead spots where its all silent, ask her about her..what she likes...music, movies, what's a typical day at home, etc...It'll pan out....

 

[WestMAN]

That's probably because you are focusing too much on what's NOT being said and the awkward silence. Used to happen a lot to me before, but I think I have reigned it in a little with the following:
- first of all, silence is not a bad thing. take that as time to make good eye contact and smile
- whatever you do, try not to think about how you're panicking. the more you do, the more it'll add up in your head with each passing second
- talk about something fun you did (or make it up) recently...helps to be prepared with somethings beforehand and reserve for moments like those
- ask questions! preferably open-ended ones that make her do the talking. That serves 2 purposes: girls love talking about themselves and also gives you fodder to make more convo based on somethings u pick up...

yea i would panic in my head sometimes when those awkward silences present themselves. i think you're right about having a handful of stories/topics/questions when the time calls for them. im not socially awkward or any of that **** and usually im great right off the bat. it's the finishing part i have trouble with. when it comes to open ended questions, that's actually very easy for me to do and i can come up with some really good unique ones that they like to answer. thats one thing i am good at. but sometimes i get too caught up in the conversation that i forget to continue to build attraction with her.

 

[The_411]

People naturally will talk about themselves.

Think of it like this:

Meet up say hello say hello.

Ask how they are

Girl will either say fine or expand

The key is using what she says to formulate questions.

If she doesn't say much then jokingly call her out. The key is to make sure that it comes off lighthearted which means smiling/chuckling/laughing when you say off the cuff remarks.

Too many guys are so worried about screwing up saying the wrong but in all honesty there are very few things you can say to "screw it" up. Most of the time the girl isn't into a guy, so even if you said all the right things got to business eventually your inner game isn't good enough to maintain something long term.

That's why using techniques that aren't attuned to you eventually will unravel your game.

Don't worry about when/if just do until she doesn't allow it and if she rejects you tease her. If that doesn't work then it wasn't going to work period.

Eveything is about you ability to be natural/flow and be relaxed, and accept that mistakes will happen. Women don't care about mistakes unless you harp on them.

 

[Crissco]

People naturally will talk about themselves.

Think of it like this:

Meet up say hello say hello.

Ask how they are

Girl will either say fine or expand

The key is using what she says to formulate questions.

If she doesn't say much then jokingly call her out. The key is to make sure that it comes off lighthearted which means smiling/chuckling/laughing when you say off the cuff remarks.

Too many guys are so worried about screwing up saying the wrong but in all honesty there are very few things you can say to "screw it" up. Most of the time the girl isn't into a guy, so even if you said all the right things got to business eventually your inner game isn't good enough to maintain something long term.

That's why using techniques that aren't attuned to you eventually will unravel your game.

Don't worry about when/if just do until she doesn't allow it and if she rejects you tease her. If that doesn't work then it wasn't going to work period.

Eveything is about you ability to be natural/flow and be relaxed, and accept that mistakes will happen. Women don't care about mistakes unless you harp on them.

Good post