Ok, answers below.
- Why do i have to make so much work to get a girl and the girl has to do nothing for that. It looks everytime in my mind like that i have to work so much for it and the girls not. They only stand there and wait till a entertainer comes....
That's life, I'm afraid. They got it, we want it, simple as that. If you think it's unfair, well, you'll just have to get used to it. Being bitter or whining about it like a bytch won't help you.
- If i talk to a girl i'm interested in, how should i ask her for her number. should i say a reason to get her number "like i want to ask her if we can meet again or a another reason ?"
Here's the best advice I've seen so far on how to close a girl. It's written by a woman, 'Destini9' (who has her own website on male-female relationships:
http://www.seducingwomen101.com), and I got it off the fastseduction.com bulletin boards. (
Link to the post)
Part One
"Closing - how to get a girl to give you her number and a kiss
PROVIDED all has gone well in the initial phases of hooking up and she's faced you, continued conversation, laughed and smiled alot, or been pretty intent on the topic, if she's danced with you, AND ESPECIALLY, REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING ELSE, IF SHE TOUCHES YOU AT ALL that's NOT in a life or death situation, a paid hooker, or your mother...or a cop placing you under arrest who is NOT a stripper in disguise (and please try to be conscious of the difference) IF SHE TOUCHES YOU AT ALL, if she INITIATES TOUCHING YOU AT ALL, you are IN. That'll be the only true blue sign you can absolutely set your clock by...then proceed - whilst looking her in her face, holding and maintaining eye contact, and no shifty eyed **** either, tell her HONESTLY AND SINCERELY:
STEP ONE: I have really had so much fun tonight (relevant to the scene tho, wise up). I want your phone number. I want to take you out or get together again and continue this.
She WILL start lookin for a pen. IF she doesn't have a phone of her own or circumstance prevents her from phone conversations, she WILL tell you and she WILL IMMEDIATELY follow that up with a viable alternative. Unless you're just a dumb****, accept it and work with whatever her circumstance allows.
NOW, before we move to STEP TWO, take heed of the above suggestion. Become *conscious* of the FACT that ALL WOMEN, no matter how they act, are ALWAYS welcome of a dominant male. I did not say bossy. I did not say domineering. I did not say aggressive. I did not say ****y. I did not say arrogant. I did not say pushy. I did not say abusive.
I said DOMINANT. Dominance to a female means MALE, first and foremost, which you are, which she is fundamentally attracted to, and which incorporates all of the basic common sense qualities of MALENESS - excluding those offensive bodily noises and juvenile **** jokes.
I said DOMINANT. We want you to BE THE MAN. We want you to be confident even if you're shakin in your shoes. You can be scared and still be confident. We want to see that you are decisive, masculine, direct, a take charge kinda person...the one who is self assured and doesn't get all weeniefied about it. He has backbone. He's strong. Just like they are in the romance novels.
In the above suggestion, it's direct, it's to the point, it's confident, it's assured. It acknowledges how you felt about the interlude between you and that you are genuine in continuing. Continuance, to a willing female, is the key to your success. Don't **** it up. It also nixes the sappy generic "girly compliments" she fully expects you to pay..."oh, you're so sweet, so pretty too, I just loved sharing tonight...I love your eyes...how they sparkle when the light hits just so..." *barf* You are making a statement without any need to pad it or fuse it with guy bull****. You enjoyed it, you want to get together again. Period. The only thing she wants to hear anyway, if she likes you and is interested, is the part about YOU WANT TO HOOK UP AGAIN. Everything else is pretentous guy bull****. We do NOT need to hear it. We fully appreciate it when you just skip all that.
Further, instead of ASKING, which sends the message you are not sure of yourself, which sends the message you could be lying to yourself and that could easily include everything that's transpired, You TELL her you WANT her number...and you TELL her you WANT to continue. You don't need to explain it away, she's not stupid and she's not all that interested in hearing a lot of "fluf". The ONLY thing she wants to know is YOU WANT TO HOOK UP AGAIN. You're not putting yourself at any risk of rejection...it can be taken as a statement of fact. It hands her the ball and she'll follow thru without incident if she likes you back and wants to hook up with you again.
IF she says no, sorry, I don't think we should, or I don't feel comfortable, or ANYTHING other than YES, followed by a number, you have misread her across the board or you somehow managed to shatter her illusions and she delivered the silent but deadly FINAL IMPRESSION while exercizing her God given rights to veto telling you jack **** either way. In short...you were in but you ****ed it up.
Let it go - politely - and DO NOT PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
By letting it go, I do not mean suddenly doing the Hang 10 off the side of your slapped ego. I do not mean getting rude or ****y and spouting off "eh well, your loss, *****". I do not mean showing your ass in any manner. I mean let it go politely with a simple nod of acknowledgement, a willingness to accept it, and a comment to the effect, *that's quite allright...I still enjoyed it.* and maybe even resume a particular point of conversation, *your ideas on such and such were really provocative* etc. If you're the boistrous type, you can light heartedly acknowledge a sincere apology, *Oh...my apologies. I misunderstood. LET IT GO.
There is much wisdom here. If you were in at all, there may be a very reasonable explanation why she opted not to provide you with a number. By not flipping out over it and just acknowledging OK you misunderstood, one of two things will happen to clear it up either way.
1. She will take the opportunity to explain herself to you, and her reasons. If it's a realistic case, such as she just met you, doesn't feel that comfortable just yet, her car's in the shop, she's having a rough situation, etc. AND follows it up with some OTHER alternative for continuing, then you're still in and it was a matter of inconvenient circumstance. IF you're still in, she will LET YOU KNOW with some acknowledgement that she enjoyed it as well, don't be upset or put off, AND some measure of down the road, accept it courteously and like a big boy and carry on as if it's no big deal cause it aint and all was not lost in the end.
OR
2. She will let you let it go without any further explanation or avenue to pick it back up. If she explains she had fun too but she's married and it's not a good idea, IT'S DONE WITH. OVER. DROP IT. It would be this sort of case where you are totally NOT IN and never were, but she is still capable of being social and friendly with you and enjoying some mutual chat, even a dance or two, and even if she touched you it is brief and platonic...but if you've been CONSCIOUS AT ALL during your encounter with her, you would have seen this coming by her Vibe she sent off. And YOU misread it all the way around. Like you're 68 years old and taught English Lit at the community college where she just started, cause she's 18 and just outta high school, English Lit is her major and she's genuinely interested in talking to you about it all...but there no real way she's lookin to **** you. You come off with wanting her phone number, then you never paid attention to any of it. IF it's a case where she's in your league and you ****ed it up and she doesn't tell you, by letting it go graciously, you at least leave room for down the road. Maybe she had PMS or was feeling overly irritable and your snide joke about the Republicans hit her wrong...but next Thursday she's well over it and you run into her, the door of opportunity is still open for HER to pick it back up. IF she does, and you genuinely want to, don't be a dumb**** and think you can start playing "meet my bid, I'm busy, I'm like a fancy Porche" cause she'll BLOW YOU OFF and that'll be the end of it.
Trust me. I am WOMAN. I've been here a zillion times and so has every other female on the planet. The details of the advice might change but the overall rule of thumb is universal among me and my sisters.
NOW...PROVIDED she says YES and immediately hands you a number, and it's NOT a case of grandpa Joe wants some of teen Tina - (unless she explicitly put it in your face and ACKNOWLEDGED to you that she's always been a little curious what wrinkled **** was like, but then, calm down, this is only another of your fantasies and isn't going to happen in real life) from this point YOU'RE IN AND SHE WILL.
It's all a matter of convenient circumstance. The WHEN of it all.
When that's handled, depending on where you are, and if she's given you a means of contact, and if you want to kiss her, proceed to STEP TWO at any time you're ready.
Continued..
. I have read some of your articles and very amazed how good they are and how true they are in the reality above all. So to my Problem. I am a shy guy who doesnt think that he looks bad 