Question from new guy: PA? Proximity Alert, How to Handle

[IamtheAlphamale]

It depends who you are really if thats an abnormal amount of opportunities. Some guy's get approached by girls and some don't. It all has to do with your vibe. Some girls approach guys but generally not guys they physically see as 9's or 10's, although physical looks matter for about 30% of the overall attraction. It depends how much you go out etc. I'm not here to humour you I'm here to help you. Basically what I've seen so far from you is opportunites and zero action in any of the situations so far. Do you have anyone who can help you get started? You should start with two main things. 1 Killing your fear of rejection and 2 getting good at conversation.

The earlier post where the guy says you have to open your mouth after the girls throwing herself at you. Well girls will only throw themselves at you after you've already really impressed them. So when you have a girl really interested in you, your going to get more nervous. Thats why you need to start doing things.

 

[thickandcreamy]

You are wrong! Looks only count for 28.07% of solid game! How dare you perpetuate such damaging and pernicious falsehoods!

Thick

 

[thirtyplus]

TrueAFC, I think you are a really decent guy, so please help me out here.

I am just waiting for the day when you post a thread or in this thread saying "I talked to a girl today!"

That is really what I am waiting for and hoping for.

I know you can do it, and YOU know you can do it. You won't die. Your ancestors faced threats 1,000,000x times worse than opening their mouths and talking to a strange girl.

Still waiting. Come on buddy. Don't let me down. You are getting LOTS and LOTS of chances here.

 

[TotalAFC]

Two More Gals, Assistance Needed

I did speak to a girl today. It was a cold approach. I saw her in the grocery store. We made eye contact, she didn't look away. I saw her again in line. She was standing behind me. I asked her about the tomato soup she was holding. She looked down at it for a long time. Then she started talking, saying it was really good.

It was tough to keep a conversation going with her. She was looking down most of the time. Also, she hesitated for long stretches after I said something before she said something. I had to pay for my purchase so I just said: "well enjoy the soup." She smiled and said "thank you." Nice girl. Anyway, she was really nice, very sweet.

I also talked to a girl who works in my office last week. I had a disagreement with another co worker who is in her unit, in front of her. Then, I spoke to her, and I said that just because I don't get along with this co worker, it doesn't mean I don't get along with you, because I like you, even if I don't get along with them. I was slightly flustered and trying to regain my composure while I was talking to her. She had this very big smile on her face, with her eyes down as I was saying this. It appeared as though she seemed to be happy that I was talking to her, based on her smile.

When I saw her again a few days ago, she seemed very happy to see me. I had to hand over some paperwork to someone in her division. As soon as she saw me she said "hiiiiiiii!" with a big smile. I don't know why she was so happy to see me. We barely spoke the last time I saw her (one or two minutes), and I was kind of in a bad mood at that time. I was nervous seeing her all happy like that, especially after I showed up, so I didn't really acknowledge her this time.

Then, I saw her again just today at the store. She saw me, looked away, then recognized me, and stared again for longer, over her shoulder. I smiled, somewhat embarrassed and kept on walking. I don't know why this is so nerve wracking. This girl is really pretty. Blonde, nice body, very nice clothes, maybe 20 years old. She looks great with heels and is always dressed in a sophisticated fashion. She seems to be a very very sweet girl in addition to being very pretty.

Someone help me figure out what's going on with these two girls and their attraction levels?!? Also, what's my next step with this second girl?


Total

 

[TotalAFC]

More girls are staring at me wherever I go, but I'm still afraid to make a move. Like this checkout girl. She's staring at me while I'm in line while she's ringing up a customer ahead of me. She's not paying much attention to the customer at all, really. She's got her head down, but staring up at me with her eyes. Almost frightening. Very intense.

I tried to talk to her a little bit but she seemed very shy. She would only talk to me with her head down, and her eyes down. Friendly but very shy. How do I get shy girls wh are staring at me to open up to me a little bit?


Total

 

[thirtyplus]

More girls are staring at me wherever I go, but I'm still afraid to make a move. Like this checkout girl. She's staring at me while I'm in line while she's ringing up a customer ahead of me. She's not paying much attention to the customer at all, really. She's got her head down, but staring up at me with her eyes. Almost frightening. Very intense.

I tried to talk to her a little bit but she seemed very shy. She would only talk to me with her head down, and her eyes down. Friendly but very shy. How do I get shy girls wh are staring at me to open up to me a little bit?


Total

Something not making sense here.

What are you like? What do you look like. Post pics if you can. How tall, etc. How do you dress?

On any other forum I would assume you are a troll but this place is just beyond words so, I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

 

[thirtyplus]

I did speak to a girl today.....{snip}

Someone help me figure out what's going on with these two girls and their attraction levels?!? Also, what's my next step with this second girl?
Total

Congratulations. You've taken your first step into a larger world.

Attraction levels = don't worry about them right now. Irrelevant.

Next step: TALK MORE. Make excuses to go over to this other girl's division. Make small talk. Tell funny stories. Hell, tell stories about how random women are staring at you wherever you go and you're constantly worried your fly is undone or you have a huge zit on your forehead or something.

It doesn't even really matter what you say. Just SPEAK!

 

[Bevo]

damn total! youre not an AFC at all, youre just shy and IMHO some hot babes love shy guys, cause shy guys dont push and dont act needy, to appear closed is always attractive or even provoking.

maybe they even sense youre a virgin, forget all the alpha male crap, real HBs who dont need a teacher anymore just love to teach

be who you are but show it

 

[Bevo]

oh yes and while i am at it, not only the real HBs who already know it all and are fed up with the PUAs are wild for virgin shys with a potential, but so do the shy girls themselves, to experience in conjunction

you dont even have to look good but you probably have your sensibility posted in your eyes for all to see and what you need to do is only provide a highway to yourself, but that you have to do, you even have a free ticket to be clumbsy, you can do the clumbsy one

 

[TotalAFC]

Girls just act strange around me. I can't tell if they are shy or forward or confused or what. Like that girl in the bookstore. She stared right at me, got up and walked over to me. Then looked over at me, but without making eye contact.

I went into a clothing store the other day (second time). There was a blonde there, really nice looking. The first time, she seemed extremely irritated that I even spoke to her. I asked her for a shirt in my size. Then, the second time I'm there, she sees me, comes to a stop, breaks out into a squinty eyed lovey dovey smile, then suppresses her smile. I try to talk to her with a big smile of my own, but she just turns to ice. No smile, no eye contact, no nothing. Just answers my question, with no emotion.

That's why I get confused. These women seem to be staring and smiling or just staring, but when I talk to them, they turn to ice. What gives? I mean, I'm talking to them, but they act like some sort of ice queen! Women confuse me.

Oh, and I went to the grocery store the other day. The exact same thing happened. I asked one of the girls working there for a food recommendation. She gives me this squinty eyed smile the first time. The second time I see her I try to talk to her. She is ringing up customers. But this time she won't smile and she practically throws my grocery bag at me after she bagged it. She looked mad! I didn't do anything to her! I don't understand why these girls are getting so upset when I try to talk and be friendly with them. I smile and make eye contact, nothing major.

Why do you say I'm a troll anyway? That doesn't make sense.

Total

PS: I am told I am good looking. Sometimes this is just random women or even men I know. No real reason for the compliment, they'll just point it out. I've never really believed people when they tell me this.

Something not making sense here.

What are you like? What do you look like. Post pics if you can. How tall, etc. How do you dress?

On any other forum I would assume you are a troll but this place is just beyond words so, I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

 

[TotalAFC]

Yeah, I'm trying to do that, believe me. But, the girls just shut down. They stop looking at me and some of them frown and get really upset if I try to talk to them and be nice. The more I try to talk to them and be friendly, the more upset they get. Like this girl the cashier at the grocery store. She finished ringing me up then threw the bag at me almost. She looked really upset. What did I do? Nothing! They're very strange.

I'm taking your advice and trying to be nice and friendly, but that just makes the girls more upset.

Total

Congratulations. You've taken your first step into a larger world.

Attraction levels = don't worry about them right now. Irrelevant.

Next step: TALK MORE. Make excuses to go over to this other girl's division. Make small talk. Tell funny stories. Hell, tell stories about how random women are staring at you wherever you go and you're constantly worried your fly is undone or you have a huge zit on your forehead or something.

It doesn't even really matter what you say. Just SPEAK!

 

[Bevo]

Thats quite interesting, Total, I have had very similar encounters. I cant give you an answer though, but maybe we can put our thoughts together, I wouldnt mind to hear from you by mail bevo@artatlas.com

I think many women, those that react on you, get afraid of their own feelings, as it makes them lose control or gets them too nervous. One girl friend told me they get shocked by their own courage. Above that, especially if you act friendly and dont get on their level of feeling irritated, they feel foolish or laughed about. So better act serious, not all too smiley. Well, we can discuss this in private if you like.

 

[TotalAFC]

Well I had a similar situation of a girl staring at me/following me again today. It was some girl just getting off work at the grocery store. She sees me walking by, and she starts to stare at me repeatedly, her eyes wide open and her mouth wide open. I thought her eyes were gong to pop out of her head, she was staring so hard.

I was going to ask her straight up why she was staring at me like that, but then I decided that might be a bit rude. I just asked her where some product I was looking for was. A few minutes later, I decide to check out, and there she is again, right behind me in line. Now, you could say this was a coincidence, but I've had so many coincidences like this in the past few weeks I'm starting to think it's not a coincidence at all, and girls are actually following me hoping I'll talk to them.

But like I said in my last post, girls get very weird and nervous when I to talk to them, so who knows what's going on inside their heads.

Total