Question for the Vets.

zka80

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Sup fella's.

Before I start with a question I could use some advice about, I'll start out by telling you a bit about myself. I'm 30 year's old. I recently got out of a long time relationship with a girl I really loved. She ended up having to move away for work and we all know what happened. Anyway, I really took it hard. I mean hard. We officially broke up I would say around last April, and I finally came to the realization that I had to let her go around 2 months ago. Not to say I didn't have girls I was interested in since April. The only one's I was interested in, I would end up becoming good friends with, and the one's I didn't care about were just the one's that I would get with and that was it. So after the last girl I actually liked, and then just became friends with I thought to myself "Ok, there seems to be a problem here." On a side note, I've always been the type of guy that was able to pick up really good looking girls, stay with them for a few years and then have things fall apart cause I just don't care anymore. The ex got the last laugh on that one. Ok so, back to me figuring out why I was falling into friendsville. I met this new girl. So I thought, maybe I'll ask my buddy how to approach the situation because he's always been really really good with picking up girls. And he basically told me the exact same approach as David Deangelo (David Deangelo really, and I mean really made me realize what I was doing allll wrong.) goes with. Don't give them too much, make fun of them, flirt, keep up attraction, and always be confident, basically a no care attitude.

So I've known this girl for 3 weeks or so. I had asked her to hang out about a week after and she gave me the no go including excuse. I let it slide, kept talking, flirting, and things were going well. So I ask her again last week. She yes ya, lets have some drinks Friday night. Long story short, we meet out, have drink, go back to a friends for after party and end up doing some stuff but no sex. We split a cab to our separate apartments. This is where it gets interesting. So back to just before we starting doing stuff early that morning. I asked her a question that I wanted kept between her and I (Totally unrelated issue to anything in regards to my question.). You'll see why this is important later.

Come Saturday afternoon, I txt her to say "Please keep what we were talking about just between us.". She reply's with a solid "Yes, nothing to worry about.". And that was that. She lets me go because she was going back to sleep, and say's she'll txt me later.

Later on Saturday evening she txts me, and we small talk for abit. I ask her to do something Sunday. She say's she's into it. So we set a date for lunch. I'm stoked....

Sunday morning comes. 9 am, I'm awoken to my phone vibrating. Its her and she says it's a no go including excuse, but I'll txt you later. I was kind of upset but said no problem, and I'll talk to you later. Ok so, she txts me later that night. She tells me she's sorry about what happened and that. I tell her no problem and just kinda go back to flirting with her. I bring up something I had said to her as we were making out. She replys with wow, I don't remember...... So now she's telling me she doesn't "remember" me saying that to her, but she had no problem remembering the question that I had asked her not even 10 minutes before??? So I decided to wrap up and let her go. Kind of in a way that I wouldn't usually (Which typically would have been with "Talk to you soon "Nickname"." She also said bye in a way that she usually wouldn't have.

That was Sunday. It's now Tuesday. I haven't heard from her, and I haven't txted her either. She flaked out on Sunday, and then this not remembering stuff. I smell bs. What do you guys think about it??

Ak.
 

zka80

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At first I had tried to post in here, and it told me "I did not have authority to post in this forum." I copied my post, logged out, and logged back in. I posted it in Discussion, and then saw my post count was "2". I realized it had actually posted in here.

Quite the first impression. Sorry.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear ZKA80,
Oh you silly Bvgger,she is just betraying the same detachment you should have....You are being Way too serious...I urge you to check out the thread running on this site right now about dating Gurus...never slavishly follow any of these Pundits,you must be as an actor with a variety of personas at your finger tips....I must say that I have no knowledge at all of American Ladies,but ****y and funny will only work to a certain extent with Anglos,and then not with all.Many will find it trite verging on mocking,particularly the Older and more intelligent ones....establishing contact is NOT a one size fits all...proceed cautiously while exuding an air of controlled confidence.With experience you will be able to pick up on enough traits to lump most Ladies into one or other of the generalised handling categories your reading and experience has taught you.
 

Slickster

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Wow, too much lame texting going on here. Just call and talk to her.

Also maybe you are moving a little too fast. Date Friday, Talk/text Sat, Another date planned for Sunday. Give it some time to stew. Don't be so available. Be a challenge. Make her chase you.
 

jophil28

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zka80 said:
I asked her a question that I wanted kept between her and I (Totally unrelated issue to anything in regards to my question.).
THis is how women and their girlfriends communicate. They "share" gossip, information about others, and sensitive information about themselves all under the stamp of confidentiality that "best friends" requires..
So by sharing some info between you, you moved into the role of "girlfriend", somewhat.

Then, later on Saturday, you reminded her of your conversation and asked for her re-assurance of confidentiality. More "girlfriend " behavior on your part.

THis woman is a stranger- she has not qualified for, or earned the privilege of deep personal conversations. Why did you feel the need to disclose whatever you spoke about . Was it some part of your contrived seduction plan... were you trying to build "connection " with her ?

Anyway, she is now showing signs of retreat. So what are you going to do now?
 
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Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

zka80

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I thank you guys for the advice. I'm stuck in relationship mode for sure.
 

Greasy Pig

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Be cool to the point of cold and don't reply to every text.

This drives chicks insane. If she asks why you haven't replied, ignore her again. If you must answer, tell her you were out with friends or running or seeing your bank manager.

Alas, I feel this bird hath flown. You are firmly in the FZ and no self respecting DJ stays there for longer than it takes to say 'see ya'.
 
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