Question for the FEMALE posters here

[Urbanyst]

Can you ladies help me out and answer a quick question?

Why is it that the female posters here are so quick to GIVE advice.. but so reluctant to TAKE advice?

I like that we have female posters here because it brings a different perspective. However, none of you seem interested in learning jack sh*t.

 

[AJ84]

Can you ladies help me out and answer a quick question?

Why is it that the female posters here are so quick to GIVE advice.. but so reluctant to TAKE advice?

I like that we have female posters here because it brings a different perspective. However, none of you seem interested in learning jack sh*t.

I guess because it's mainly guys here looking for advice?

But I do actually have a question you can maybe help with:

Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian thanksgiving) my cousin got into an argument with her boyfriend and he walked away. She was about to follow him and I told her to leave him to cool off. She got mad at me for that. I explained that maybe he needed some space because it was getting too heated and to just give him that. Another guy there agreed with me and this other guy said no she should go to him and sort it out.

It was a dumb argument about something that happened at his work, nothing serious.

Was I wrong to tell her to give him some space?

 

[AttackFormation]

Was I wrong to tell her to give him some space?

No. You were right.

 

[Thorninmyside]

I guess because it's mainly guys here looking for advice?

But I do actually have a question you can maybe help with:

Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian thanksgiving) my cousin got into an argument with her boyfriend and he walked away. She was about to follow him and I told her to leave him to cool off. She got mad at me for that. I explained that maybe he needed some space because it was getting too heated and to just give him that. Another guy there agreed with me and this other guy said no she should go to him and sort it out.

It was a dumb argument about something that happened at his work, nothing serious.

Was I wrong to tell her to give him some space?

You were right to suggest space. Women process by talking. Men process by thinking on our own and then coming back to you when we've gathered our thoughts. When women force a conversation, it's not conducive to us participating, being honest, or acting from reason rather than emotion.

 

[Urbanyst]

Was I wrong to tell her to give him some space?

Yes.

Not because the advice itself was wrong.. but more because their relationship and how it works is none of your business.

Unless someone asks you directly how to handle a matter like that, its best to stay out of it. Obviously if there is serious abuse you might want to step in to protect your family. Otherwise, stay out of it.

I personally find it annoying when I get unsolicited relationship advice.

 

[AJ84]

You were right to suggest space. Women process by talking. Men process by thinking on our own and then coming back to you when we've gathered our thoughts. When women force a conversation, it's not conducive to us participating, being honest, or acting from reason rather than emotion.

That makes sense. I learned in past relationships that when he says " leave me alone" to do just that. When I was younger I would get so mad if they walked away because I intepreted that as him just abandoning me. It took a while but I learned that that was my issue and not his and with time I learned to deal with conflict better. It's those trail and error things in relationships that we hope to learn from lol.

 

[penkitten]

Hi newbie.
I have used plenty of advice from this site.
It helped mold me into the person I am today.

 

[AJ84]

Yes.

Not because the advice itself was wrong.. but more because their relationship and how it works is none of your business.

Unless someone asks you directly how to handle a matter like that, its best to stay out of it. Obviously if there is serious abuse you might want to step in to protect your family. Otherwise, stay out of it.

I personally find it annoying when I get unsolicited relationship advice.

Ok, yeah that makes sense too, from the perspective of not my business. I was responding in a way that was based on how I would handle it.

 

[AJ84]

Hi newbie.
I have used plenty of advice from this site.
It helped mold me into the person I am today.

Yeah, I appreciate the frankness of the advice given here. I think it would be quite interesting if there was a thread here for women to ask men for advice around relationships and dating.
However I have had some insults thrown my way and based on that I think having women post for advice here may upset a few of the guys.
But guys give it to ya straight in a way that females usually don't.

 

[John Constantine]

Yeah, I appreciate the frankness of the advice given here. I think it would be quite interesting if there was a thread here for women to ask men for advice around relationships and dating.
However I have had some insults thrown my way and based on that I think having women post for advice here may upset a few of the guys.
But guys give it to ya straight in a way that females usually don't.

That would be a great idea actually

 

[sazc]

@Urbanyst what advice did I miss?

Besides the advice you had for me to 'fvck off'

 

[Urbanyst]

But guys give it to ya straight in a way that females usually don't.

Because women are generally frauds.

 

[Urbanyst]

@Urbanyst what advice did I miss?

Besides the advice you had for me to fvck off

I don't remember telling you to f*ck off. I actually think you're hilarious.

 

[sazc]

I don't remember telling you to f*ck off. I actually think you're hilarious.

Lol, omg, you've told me to fvck off a zillion times! Not directly, but it's usually very much implied

 

[Billtx49]

Lol, omg, you've told me to fvck off a zillion times! Not directly, but it's usually very much implied

Don’t make up things in your head. A man says what he wants directly, but you’re hamstering it on the fast track here.

 

[Urbanyst]

Lol, omg, you've told me to fvck off a zillion times! Not directly, but it's usually very much implied

Yeah, I'm pretty good at that. Its an art.

 

[AJ84]

Because women are generally frauds.

No, many women are just afraid to be totally frank with each other when it comes to things like appearances and why they got dumped. We try to give advice on those topics in a walking on egg shells way. Not fraud because the goal isn't to hurt the friend, just have to be super sensitive on how things are worded.

For example I could never straight up tell a fat friend that maybe if she lost weight she would attract guys. You could tell your fat buddy that and it's fine. He may laugh it off or take your advice. I would be called a body shamer.

There are exceptions of course and I have met one or to women who tell it like it is.

I like getting the pespective of guys who have a realistic and not pessimistic view of women and life. Getting advice from guys who have the AWALT/bitter/axe to grind mentality would be like guys seeking advice from militant feminists.

I don't seek advice from those kinds of feminists and some red pill guys act like the male version of them so the angry brick wall types are not interesting or useful for any advice I would like.

 

[sazc]

Don’t make up things in your head. A man says what he wants directly, but you’re hamstering it on the fast track here.

You do realize I'm totally joking here, right?

Hamstering .... Lol

 

[BeExcellent]

I absorb quite a bit from this site which helps me appreciate a man's view on many things and that in turn helps me be a better woman. The content here helped me further appreciate my father, and helps me raise my son and helps me understand the dating landscape, which is useful.

When I have had specific questions personally I PM people whose advice I think would be useful. Guys do that too when they want a woman's take on something.

 

[rivernorth]

Why is it that the female posters here are so quick to GIVE advice.. but so reluctant to TAKE advice?

I like that we have female posters here because it brings a different perspective. However, none of you seem interested in learning jack sh*t.

this forum is for being a DJ.... getting poon. I don't aspire to be a free prostitute and have sex with a lot of guys, so the dating advice isn't my goal. not that I'm against people living a playboy lifestyle.

for LTR, I have high standards which require me to have the prerequisite mystique, looks, skills (like language skills), adventure lifestyle blah blah.... not really into that now because my father was almost dying last year. this year he stabilized, but didn't fully recover. family drama regarding his ongoing care has been an emotional drain.

the last guy I dated was really hot. I liked him a lot. business guy with great energy. his father was a diplomat (not usa) so he was well travelled. either he was a workaholic, trying to make me a plate, or not that interested.... because he was getting flakey. he cancelled a date (supposedly for work reasons) and then was bad about texting. I told him that's not for me and then he asked for another chance. I gave him another chance and same thing. his age was 32..... this age is common to be a workaholic, but for whatever reason he wasn't reliable. we weren't having sex (yet) and we had great chemistry so that was sad. I like to date for a month or so before sex...... after the second chance, he asked for another chance. not much to ask about.... he wasn't reliable, so that's it.